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Yesterday Jimmy Jam Mouth’s little sister Sally Sassy Mouth was killed by Nintendo’s little treasure the Nintendo GameCube.
Nintendo has recently made some new improvements to their gaming system to get farther along with special features like Sony and Microsoft have so greatly done with the DVD player/CD player. Nintendo got desperate for more social attention among adults so one day they just went crazy making new gadgets right after telling their mommys “Mommy, mommy, why don’t the big kids play with me?”
But some of these new “improvements” were dangerous but not enough to kill and or kill someone until just yesterday when Jimmy Jam Mouth’s baby sister was “attacked” viciously by a GameCube. If this keeps up GamCubes will end up wiping out the whole population of little sisters. And that’s just sad. Sad with a big font. Just like this “SAD”.
People around the world have made a petition for Nintendo to immediately stop making some dangerous special features:
Rocket Launcher
You might be thinking right now “What’s so dangerous about a rocket launcher?” but the truth behind the matter is people actually use these big shiny adult play things to kill people instead of a device to store stuffed animals in. I know only 2% of the humans(not antelope) use rocket launchers to kill people but it does happen. If the GamCube’s launcher backfires one day it will end up destroying everything around it.
One man with a GameCube says that the rocket launcher attachment saved his life when he used it to scare away a burglar that robs his house around 6:00pm every Tuesday, but even if it could save someone’s life it could take away many.
Metal Spike Controller
I think that it speaks for itself when I say that a controller with metal spikes coming out of it is just wrong. Sometimes some guys are too lazy to put on there titanium gloves every time we play a GameCube and we begin to just play without them causing huge holes to penetrate the skin. Laziness is very common with men because…….Sorry I didn’t complete that last sentence I couldn’t be bothered to finish it.
This pain resulting controller isn’t even comfortable for crying out loud. The B button is too small and hard to reach, the A button covers the whole controller, the Y button is edible, and the X button is sharper than knives. They could of at least added a pause button to this before distributing them. And they could of at least made a wire or at least a radio connection to the GameCube. Without them it is just a spiky ball. And that’s SAD.
Suicide Button
On normal game consoles if you loose a life or get a Game-Over you could simply press the restart button and it wont save. But Nintendo wants to make a more realistic system. They took off that pesky restart button and put a button that if you happen to press, a toxic poison will be injected into your finger and you will die in a matter of 2 minutes. Meaning if you loose a life in the game. You loose a life in the real world. I don’t find this humorous. If the button activated the GameCube to eat the player then it would be humorous. But the button alone is just SAD.
This suicide button technology has even been picked up by officers of war. Instead of using guns in wars now, people just run around and try to convince other soldiers to press a big red button. Nintendo, please take off this feature it is just awful.
Electricity
This is the one the feature that ended up killing little Sally yesterday. Other features were dangerous but they hadn’t killed anyone…yet. But this one is just cruel and Nintendo shouldn’t be so heartless. This feature allows the GameCube to run on electricity. Horrible. As soon as this was announced you could almost hear the sound of pigs being slaughtered. Can’t Nintendo just make a normal gaming system that runs on 4 day old dinner leftovers like the PS2.
Three year old Sally always use to play her Nintendo GameCube in the bathtub outside in the rain and it use to be great. She was always safe. But when her mum bought her the new electric GameCube and she plugged it into an electric socket Sally got electrocuted to death when she played yesterday.
Please Nintendo. Consider taking off these and other dangerous improvements to your great system. It was good the way it was…….Oh wait, can you add a toaster to it. That would be fun!
Drunk
Nintendo has recently made some new improvements to their gaming system to get farther along with special features like Sony and Microsoft have so greatly done with the DVD player/CD player. Nintendo got desperate for more social attention among adults so one day they just went crazy making new gadgets right after telling their mommys “Mommy, mommy, why don’t the big kids play with me?”
But some of these new “improvements” were dangerous but not enough to kill and or kill someone until just yesterday when Jimmy Jam Mouth’s baby sister was “attacked” viciously by a GameCube. If this keeps up GamCubes will end up wiping out the whole population of little sisters. And that’s just sad. Sad with a big font. Just like this “SAD”.
People around the world have made a petition for Nintendo to immediately stop making some dangerous special features:
Rocket Launcher
You might be thinking right now “What’s so dangerous about a rocket launcher?” but the truth behind the matter is people actually use these big shiny adult play things to kill people instead of a device to store stuffed animals in. I know only 2% of the humans(not antelope) use rocket launchers to kill people but it does happen. If the GamCube’s launcher backfires one day it will end up destroying everything around it.
One man with a GameCube says that the rocket launcher attachment saved his life when he used it to scare away a burglar that robs his house around 6:00pm every Tuesday, but even if it could save someone’s life it could take away many.
Metal Spike Controller
I think that it speaks for itself when I say that a controller with metal spikes coming out of it is just wrong. Sometimes some guys are too lazy to put on there titanium gloves every time we play a GameCube and we begin to just play without them causing huge holes to penetrate the skin. Laziness is very common with men because…….Sorry I didn’t complete that last sentence I couldn’t be bothered to finish it.
This pain resulting controller isn’t even comfortable for crying out loud. The B button is too small and hard to reach, the A button covers the whole controller, the Y button is edible, and the X button is sharper than knives. They could of at least added a pause button to this before distributing them. And they could of at least made a wire or at least a radio connection to the GameCube. Without them it is just a spiky ball. And that’s SAD.
Suicide Button
On normal game consoles if you loose a life or get a Game-Over you could simply press the restart button and it wont save. But Nintendo wants to make a more realistic system. They took off that pesky restart button and put a button that if you happen to press, a toxic poison will be injected into your finger and you will die in a matter of 2 minutes. Meaning if you loose a life in the game. You loose a life in the real world. I don’t find this humorous. If the button activated the GameCube to eat the player then it would be humorous. But the button alone is just SAD.
This suicide button technology has even been picked up by officers of war. Instead of using guns in wars now, people just run around and try to convince other soldiers to press a big red button. Nintendo, please take off this feature it is just awful.
Electricity
This is the one the feature that ended up killing little Sally yesterday. Other features were dangerous but they hadn’t killed anyone…yet. But this one is just cruel and Nintendo shouldn’t be so heartless. This feature allows the GameCube to run on electricity. Horrible. As soon as this was announced you could almost hear the sound of pigs being slaughtered. Can’t Nintendo just make a normal gaming system that runs on 4 day old dinner leftovers like the PS2.
Three year old Sally always use to play her Nintendo GameCube in the bathtub outside in the rain and it use to be great. She was always safe. But when her mum bought her the new electric GameCube and she plugged it into an electric socket Sally got electrocuted to death when she played yesterday.
Please Nintendo. Consider taking off these and other dangerous improvements to your great system. It was good the way it was…….Oh wait, can you add a toaster to it. That would be fun!
Drunk
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Yesterday Jimmy Jam Mouth’s little sister Sally Sassy Mouth was killed by Nintendo’s little treasure the Nintendo GameCube.
Nintendo has recently made some new improvements to their gaming system to get farther along with special features like Sony and Microsoft have so greatly done with the DVD player/CD player. Nintendo got desperate for more social attention among adults so one day they just went crazy making new gadgets right after telling their mommys “Mommy, mommy, why don’t the big kids play with me?”
But some of these new “improvements” were dangerous but not enough to kill and or kill someone until just yesterday when Jimmy Jam Mouth’s baby sister was “attacked” viciously by a GameCube. If this keeps up GamCubes will end up wiping out the whole population of little sisters. And that’s just sad. Sad with a big font. Just like this “SAD”.
People around the world have made a petition for Nintendo to immediately stop making some dangerous special features:
Rocket Launcher
You might be thinking right now “What’s so dangerous about a rocket launcher?” but the truth behind the matter is people actually use these big shiny adult play things to kill people instead of a device to store stuffed animals in. I know only 2% of the humans(not antelope) use rocket launchers to kill people but it does happen. If the GamCube’s launcher backfires one day it will end up destroying everything around it.
One man with a GameCube says that the rocket launcher attachment saved his life when he used it to scare away a burglar that robs his house around 6:00pm every Tuesday, but even if it could save someone’s life it could take away many.
Metal Spike Controller
I think that it speaks for itself when I say that a controller with metal spikes coming out of it is just wrong. Sometimes some guys are too lazy to put on there titanium gloves every time we play a GameCube and we begin to just play without them causing huge holes to penetrate the skin. Laziness is very common with men because…….Sorry I didn’t complete that last sentence I couldn’t be bothered to finish it.
This pain resulting controller isn’t even comfortable for crying out loud. The B button is too small and hard to reach, the A button covers the whole controller, the Y button is edible, and the X button is sharper than knives. They could of at least added a pause button to this before distributing them. And they could of at least made a wire or at least a radio connection to the GameCube. Without them it is just a spiky ball. And that’s SAD.
Suicide Button
On normal game consoles if you loose a life or get a Game-Over you could simply press the restart button and it wont save. But Nintendo wants to make a more realistic system. They took off that pesky restart button and put a button that if you happen to press, a toxic poison will be injected into your finger and you will die in a matter of 2 minutes. Meaning if you loose a life in the game. You loose a life in the real world. I don’t find this humorous. If the button activated the GameCube to eat the player then it would be humorous. But the button alone is just SAD.
This suicide button technology has even been picked up by officers of war. Instead of using guns in wars now, people just run around and try to convince other soldiers to press a big red button. Nintendo, please take off this feature it is just awful.
Electricity
This is the one the feature that ended up killing little Sally yesterday. Other features were dangerous but they hadn’t killed anyone…yet. But this one is just cruel and Nintendo shouldn’t be so heartless. This feature allows the GameCube to run on electricity. Horrible. As soon as this was announced you could almost hear the sound of pigs being slaughtered. Can’t Nintendo just make a normal gaming system that runs on 4 day old dinner leftovers like the PS2.
Three year old Sally always use to play her Nintendo GameCube in the bathtub outside in the rain and it use to be great. She was always safe. But when her mum bought her the new electric GameCube and she plugged it into an electric socket Sally got electrocuted to death when she played yesterday.
Please Nintendo. Consider taking off these and other dangerous improvements to your great system. It was good the way it was…….Oh wait, can you add a toaster to it. That would be fun!
Drunk
Nintendo has recently made some new improvements to their gaming system to get farther along with special features like Sony and Microsoft have so greatly done with the DVD player/CD player. Nintendo got desperate for more social attention among adults so one day they just went crazy making new gadgets right after telling their mommys “Mommy, mommy, why don’t the big kids play with me?”
But some of these new “improvements” were dangerous but not enough to kill and or kill someone until just yesterday when Jimmy Jam Mouth’s baby sister was “attacked” viciously by a GameCube. If this keeps up GamCubes will end up wiping out the whole population of little sisters. And that’s just sad. Sad with a big font. Just like this “SAD”.
People around the world have made a petition for Nintendo to immediately stop making some dangerous special features:
Rocket Launcher
You might be thinking right now “What’s so dangerous about a rocket launcher?” but the truth behind the matter is people actually use these big shiny adult play things to kill people instead of a device to store stuffed animals in. I know only 2% of the humans(not antelope) use rocket launchers to kill people but it does happen. If the GamCube’s launcher backfires one day it will end up destroying everything around it.
One man with a GameCube says that the rocket launcher attachment saved his life when he used it to scare away a burglar that robs his house around 6:00pm every Tuesday, but even if it could save someone’s life it could take away many.
Metal Spike Controller
I think that it speaks for itself when I say that a controller with metal spikes coming out of it is just wrong. Sometimes some guys are too lazy to put on there titanium gloves every time we play a GameCube and we begin to just play without them causing huge holes to penetrate the skin. Laziness is very common with men because…….Sorry I didn’t complete that last sentence I couldn’t be bothered to finish it.
This pain resulting controller isn’t even comfortable for crying out loud. The B button is too small and hard to reach, the A button covers the whole controller, the Y button is edible, and the X button is sharper than knives. They could of at least added a pause button to this before distributing them. And they could of at least made a wire or at least a radio connection to the GameCube. Without them it is just a spiky ball. And that’s SAD.
Suicide Button
On normal game consoles if you loose a life or get a Game-Over you could simply press the restart button and it wont save. But Nintendo wants to make a more realistic system. They took off that pesky restart button and put a button that if you happen to press, a toxic poison will be injected into your finger and you will die in a matter of 2 minutes. Meaning if you loose a life in the game. You loose a life in the real world. I don’t find this humorous. If the button activated the GameCube to eat the player then it would be humorous. But the button alone is just SAD.
This suicide button technology has even been picked up by officers of war. Instead of using guns in wars now, people just run around and try to convince other soldiers to press a big red button. Nintendo, please take off this feature it is just awful.
Electricity
This is the one the feature that ended up killing little Sally yesterday. Other features were dangerous but they hadn’t killed anyone…yet. But this one is just cruel and Nintendo shouldn’t be so heartless. This feature allows the GameCube to run on electricity. Horrible. As soon as this was announced you could almost hear the sound of pigs being slaughtered. Can’t Nintendo just make a normal gaming system that runs on 4 day old dinner leftovers like the PS2.
Three year old Sally always use to play her Nintendo GameCube in the bathtub outside in the rain and it use to be great. She was always safe. But when her mum bought her the new electric GameCube and she plugged it into an electric socket Sally got electrocuted to death when she played yesterday.
Please Nintendo. Consider taking off these and other dangerous improvements to your great system. It was good the way it was…….Oh wait, can you add a toaster to it. That would be fun!
Drunk
Meh, quite funny :)
Thanks for the fast reply trucker.:-D
*sees a legion of Gamecubes carrying touches and staves*
they are running us out of town aaaaaarrrrrrrr
they are running us out of town aaaaaarrrrrrrr
I like the idea of the spiky controller.
In a way, it reminds me of getting analog stick blisters, when playing "track and field" or "mario party 1"...
I can remembrally taste the pain.
In a way, it reminds me of getting analog stick blisters, when playing "track and field" or "mario party 1"...
I can remembrally taste the pain.
Eek, yea I remember those. You have to spin to control stick to move the Shy Guy. So when you spin it really fast with your palm it actually drills off your skin leaving a hole shaped like a circle.
"puts on lotion"
"puts on lotion"
Same with the hammer throw in track & field.
In America, mario party one was sued for injuring someones hand, and after that, all copies of said game wre released with hand-lotion and rubber gloves.
No lie.
No lie.
Love the rocket launcher idea.
Almost enough to warrent me buying a gamecube,
not that I got a problem with them.
Maybe Nintendo should add a flamethrower just too keep the console warm.
Almost enough to warrent me buying a gamecube,
not that I got a problem with them.
Maybe Nintendo should add a flamethrower just too keep the console warm.
Yea I remember. It happen to everyone I know that played the game but no one did anything about it until some over reacter sued them:-D
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