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As you know, many people post what are supposedly called "spoofs" on here, when many are not. Most are just stories made up, including SR members.
Well, here's a spoof for ya, and as you may have guessed, it's an Eastenders parody (spoof).
I may as well post it, because I'm bored.
Don't complain to me if it's crap, because I know. I didn't have a clue as to how to make it remotely funny. After all, it was Eastenders I was basing it around.....
______________________________________________________
Westender
As the sun peacefully shone down on Arnold Circle, Paulie Fowler gazed out her window, listening to the cheerful, signing birds, and wondering what to wear today. She looked through her clothes cupboard, finding a nice blue frock next to an old tatty looking blue cardigan.
“Euch” she exclaimed, as she delicately removed the frock from the cupboard.
She made her way outside, almost skipping along to the local Restaurant. As she arrived, she saw Kitty Slater, who as always, was dressed like a movie star.
“Hello, my darling” said Paulie, as they ‘air-kissed’ each others cheeks.
“Eoh hello, you look fabulous darling!” replied Kitty.
Paulie continued into the Restaurant, and was shown towards a table. Across the room, she saw Ian Meal, the owner of the Restaurant. He was quite famous, since the Restaurant was one of the best of its kind. Rarely did he venture out into the Restaurant, as it usually caused hysteria. He was dressed in a smart black business suit, and had a smile on his face. He went back through to the kitchen.
“Aye! Yae didnae mean it noo, did ye no!?” scolded Medium-Sized Mo, in her thick Scottish accent.
“It, it was an accident, I didn’t mean…” Trover slowly said, but was cut off by another vicious shout from Medium-Sized Mo.
“Aye? An accident yae say? Well then…”
With that, she smacked him around the head.
“Oow!” exclaimed Trover.
“Oh, ‘am sorry, it was an accident” she smirked.
She continued to attack him, and he fell to the ground, and curled up. He had learned not to fight back, and just take it in.
He had to put up with these things.
As this happened, he thought about it all.
He loved her, really, but every now and then, but not too often, she would give him verbal abuse, or attack him. But, he knew most times she didn’t mean it.
Like last week, when she seemed to jump out on him as he left the bathroom (which was at the top of the stairs), and push him down the stairs, which caused him to smash his head of the conspicuously placed cupboard, filled with metal objects. She probably tripped or something, and grabbed him for support. And the cupboard? Medium-Sized Mo was always moving things about; she was probably re-arranging the furniture.
He imagined the event in his head.
And a couple of days ago, when the bag of flour “slipped out her hand”, and went all over him, blinding him at the same time, and then she pounced on him with a knife in her hand. Well, she was probably trying to wipe off the flour with the knife, although she did shout something at him. He couldn’t quite remember, but he was sure she mentioned “Dry Mastard”, the name of the flour, and was probably informing him of what it was.
Everyone in Arnold Circle knew about how Medium-Sized Mo treated him, but because of the Slater family’s background, of how rich and kind they were, everyone thought nothing of it.
Kitty was now on her way to visit her mum’s shop. It sold top quality goods, not stolen, and in perfect condition, and they weren’t rip-offs either. Most of the money went to charity, as her mum was a kind hearted woman - kind to everyone she met. The shop was across the road from Trover and Medium-Sized Mo’s apartment, which was 2 floors up.
“Hello mummy dear” Kitty childishly said, as she entered the shop.
“I’m very excited today. I’m putting on sale this new range of clothes that are very expensive, and rare.” Liz, Kitty’s mum, exclaimed. “I’ve got Mo up there dressing a mannequin for me, and the clothes are going to look just darling”
“Ooh, sounds nice, can I see?” asked Kitty.
“Mo should be finished by now, give her a ring, she’ll bring the dummy down”
Kitty got out a flash looking mobile phone, and selected the preset number for Mo’s apartment.
“Hello? Ah yes, Mo. I was wondering if I could see this dummy you’re dressing up. No, not Trover, I’ve seen him plenty of times. Yes, that’s right, for mummy’s shop. Yes. Go outside? Why…? Ok, I will, I will.”
With that she pressed the hang-up button on the phone, and wandered outside. She could see Medium-Sized Mo dragging a large plastic looking model, about half the size of a normal person, onto the outside balcony.
“Let me see it properly, I want to see it!” Kitty screamed up to the balcony.
With that, Mo lifted the model over the edge of the balcony, holding it by the head.
The model looked wonderful, it was covered in the lovely red coloured dress, and it had a matching veil across its face.
But, all of a sudden, Medium-Sized Mo’s grip loosened, and the model came crashing down into a crowd below, who had gathered round to see the model also. It had shattered into hundreds of pieces, and the dress was being scavenged by the crowd.
Mo’s face looked shocked. She wandered inside again, and heard Trover remark, “Heh, silly woman”.
She spun round, and stared at him with cold eyes. Trover knew what was coming, but he couldn’t be bothered with it any more. He quickly got up, and ran through to the kitchen, finding something to arm himself with. There was an iron, and a toaster on the worktop. He grabbed the iron, turned, and threw it at Mo. Everything seemed to go into slow motion, as the iron spun round and round, making it’s way towards Mo. She started to lean back to avoid the iron, her legs vertical, but her torso now almost horizontal, and her arms to the side. The iron flew over her face, and out over the balcony. Everything still was going at half speed, and as she started to raise herself, she spotted a silver chrome toaster flying at her. There wasn’t enough time to dodge it properly as she did with the iron, so started to dip her left shoulder, and turn, as the toaster flew by her.
Everything was now back in real-time, and she made a run towards Trover. He was terrified, what would he do? There was one item left on the worktop. A bike helmet. God knows what it was doing there, as in the first place, they didn’t have a bike. It would have to do, and he picked it up, and slammed it in her face as she approached him.
A scream was heard by Kitty and her mum from outside, so they quickly made their way up to the flat. Mo was laying there, her face squashed, and Trover hovering over her with a bloody bike helmet. It was the beginning of another “Who killed so-and-so” storyline, when it’s so obvious as to who it is....
Well, here's a spoof for ya, and as you may have guessed, it's an Eastenders parody (spoof).
I may as well post it, because I'm bored.
Don't complain to me if it's crap, because I know. I didn't have a clue as to how to make it remotely funny. After all, it was Eastenders I was basing it around.....
______________________________________________________
Westender
As the sun peacefully shone down on Arnold Circle, Paulie Fowler gazed out her window, listening to the cheerful, signing birds, and wondering what to wear today. She looked through her clothes cupboard, finding a nice blue frock next to an old tatty looking blue cardigan.
“Euch” she exclaimed, as she delicately removed the frock from the cupboard.
She made her way outside, almost skipping along to the local Restaurant. As she arrived, she saw Kitty Slater, who as always, was dressed like a movie star.
“Hello, my darling” said Paulie, as they ‘air-kissed’ each others cheeks.
“Eoh hello, you look fabulous darling!” replied Kitty.
Paulie continued into the Restaurant, and was shown towards a table. Across the room, she saw Ian Meal, the owner of the Restaurant. He was quite famous, since the Restaurant was one of the best of its kind. Rarely did he venture out into the Restaurant, as it usually caused hysteria. He was dressed in a smart black business suit, and had a smile on his face. He went back through to the kitchen.
“Aye! Yae didnae mean it noo, did ye no!?” scolded Medium-Sized Mo, in her thick Scottish accent.
“It, it was an accident, I didn’t mean…” Trover slowly said, but was cut off by another vicious shout from Medium-Sized Mo.
“Aye? An accident yae say? Well then…”
With that, she smacked him around the head.
“Oow!” exclaimed Trover.
“Oh, ‘am sorry, it was an accident” she smirked.
She continued to attack him, and he fell to the ground, and curled up. He had learned not to fight back, and just take it in.
He had to put up with these things.
As this happened, he thought about it all.
He loved her, really, but every now and then, but not too often, she would give him verbal abuse, or attack him. But, he knew most times she didn’t mean it.
Like last week, when she seemed to jump out on him as he left the bathroom (which was at the top of the stairs), and push him down the stairs, which caused him to smash his head of the conspicuously placed cupboard, filled with metal objects. She probably tripped or something, and grabbed him for support. And the cupboard? Medium-Sized Mo was always moving things about; she was probably re-arranging the furniture.
He imagined the event in his head.
And a couple of days ago, when the bag of flour “slipped out her hand”, and went all over him, blinding him at the same time, and then she pounced on him with a knife in her hand. Well, she was probably trying to wipe off the flour with the knife, although she did shout something at him. He couldn’t quite remember, but he was sure she mentioned “Dry Mastard”, the name of the flour, and was probably informing him of what it was.
Everyone in Arnold Circle knew about how Medium-Sized Mo treated him, but because of the Slater family’s background, of how rich and kind they were, everyone thought nothing of it.
Kitty was now on her way to visit her mum’s shop. It sold top quality goods, not stolen, and in perfect condition, and they weren’t rip-offs either. Most of the money went to charity, as her mum was a kind hearted woman - kind to everyone she met. The shop was across the road from Trover and Medium-Sized Mo’s apartment, which was 2 floors up.
“Hello mummy dear” Kitty childishly said, as she entered the shop.
“I’m very excited today. I’m putting on sale this new range of clothes that are very expensive, and rare.” Liz, Kitty’s mum, exclaimed. “I’ve got Mo up there dressing a mannequin for me, and the clothes are going to look just darling”
“Ooh, sounds nice, can I see?” asked Kitty.
“Mo should be finished by now, give her a ring, she’ll bring the dummy down”
Kitty got out a flash looking mobile phone, and selected the preset number for Mo’s apartment.
“Hello? Ah yes, Mo. I was wondering if I could see this dummy you’re dressing up. No, not Trover, I’ve seen him plenty of times. Yes, that’s right, for mummy’s shop. Yes. Go outside? Why…? Ok, I will, I will.”
With that she pressed the hang-up button on the phone, and wandered outside. She could see Medium-Sized Mo dragging a large plastic looking model, about half the size of a normal person, onto the outside balcony.
“Let me see it properly, I want to see it!” Kitty screamed up to the balcony.
With that, Mo lifted the model over the edge of the balcony, holding it by the head.
The model looked wonderful, it was covered in the lovely red coloured dress, and it had a matching veil across its face.
But, all of a sudden, Medium-Sized Mo’s grip loosened, and the model came crashing down into a crowd below, who had gathered round to see the model also. It had shattered into hundreds of pieces, and the dress was being scavenged by the crowd.
Mo’s face looked shocked. She wandered inside again, and heard Trover remark, “Heh, silly woman”.
She spun round, and stared at him with cold eyes. Trover knew what was coming, but he couldn’t be bothered with it any more. He quickly got up, and ran through to the kitchen, finding something to arm himself with. There was an iron, and a toaster on the worktop. He grabbed the iron, turned, and threw it at Mo. Everything seemed to go into slow motion, as the iron spun round and round, making it’s way towards Mo. She started to lean back to avoid the iron, her legs vertical, but her torso now almost horizontal, and her arms to the side. The iron flew over her face, and out over the balcony. Everything still was going at half speed, and as she started to raise herself, she spotted a silver chrome toaster flying at her. There wasn’t enough time to dodge it properly as she did with the iron, so started to dip her left shoulder, and turn, as the toaster flew by her.
Everything was now back in real-time, and she made a run towards Trover. He was terrified, what would he do? There was one item left on the worktop. A bike helmet. God knows what it was doing there, as in the first place, they didn’t have a bike. It would have to do, and he picked it up, and slammed it in her face as she approached him.
A scream was heard by Kitty and her mum from outside, so they quickly made their way up to the flat. Mo was laying there, her face squashed, and Trover hovering over her with a bloody bike helmet. It was the beginning of another “Who killed so-and-so” storyline, when it’s so obvious as to who it is....
Hoho. Nice.
*wears "who killed Mo" T-shirt*
*wears "who killed Mo" T-shirt*
*ahem*
It's funny, because neither do I.....
It's just swapped roles with the famous iron thing, and a little Michael Jackson bit snuck in...
It's just swapped roles with the famous iron thing, and a little Michael Jackson bit snuck in...
Very good! I don't watch Eastenders either though...
Read it.
I thought it was amusing, but I don't watch Eastenders.
I thought it was amusing, but I don't watch Eastenders.
Just to let you know I read it. Don't watch Eastenders so it kind of didn't have a beginning for me.
Anybody?
It doesn't look as long as most spoofs because every single blimmin' line is spaced, whereas this isn't
It doesn't look as long as most spoofs because every single blimmin' line is spaced, whereas this isn't
As you know, many people post what are supposedly called "spoofs" on here, when many are not. Most are just stories made up, including SR members.
Well, here's a spoof for ya, and as you may have guessed, it's an Eastenders parody (spoof).
I may as well post it, because I'm bored.
Don't complain to me if it's crap, because I know. I didn't have a clue as to how to make it remotely funny. After all, it was Eastenders I was basing it around.....
______________________________________________________
Westender
As the sun peacefully shone down on Arnold Circle, Paulie Fowler gazed out her window, listening to the cheerful, signing birds, and wondering what to wear today. She looked through her clothes cupboard, finding a nice blue frock next to an old tatty looking blue cardigan.
“Euch” she exclaimed, as she delicately removed the frock from the cupboard.
She made her way outside, almost skipping along to the local Restaurant. As she arrived, she saw Kitty Slater, who as always, was dressed like a movie star.
“Hello, my darling” said Paulie, as they ‘air-kissed’ each others cheeks.
“Eoh hello, you look fabulous darling!” replied Kitty.
Paulie continued into the Restaurant, and was shown towards a table. Across the room, she saw Ian Meal, the owner of the Restaurant. He was quite famous, since the Restaurant was one of the best of its kind. Rarely did he venture out into the Restaurant, as it usually caused hysteria. He was dressed in a smart black business suit, and had a smile on his face. He went back through to the kitchen.
“Aye! Yae didnae mean it noo, did ye no!?” scolded Medium-Sized Mo, in her thick Scottish accent.
“It, it was an accident, I didn’t mean…” Trover slowly said, but was cut off by another vicious shout from Medium-Sized Mo.
“Aye? An accident yae say? Well then…”
With that, she smacked him around the head.
“Oow!” exclaimed Trover.
“Oh, ‘am sorry, it was an accident” she smirked.
She continued to attack him, and he fell to the ground, and curled up. He had learned not to fight back, and just take it in.
He had to put up with these things.
As this happened, he thought about it all.
He loved her, really, but every now and then, but not too often, she would give him verbal abuse, or attack him. But, he knew most times she didn’t mean it.
Like last week, when she seemed to jump out on him as he left the bathroom (which was at the top of the stairs), and push him down the stairs, which caused him to smash his head of the conspicuously placed cupboard, filled with metal objects. She probably tripped or something, and grabbed him for support. And the cupboard? Medium-Sized Mo was always moving things about; she was probably re-arranging the furniture.
He imagined the event in his head.
And a couple of days ago, when the bag of flour “slipped out her hand”, and went all over him, blinding him at the same time, and then she pounced on him with a knife in her hand. Well, she was probably trying to wipe off the flour with the knife, although she did shout something at him. He couldn’t quite remember, but he was sure she mentioned “Dry Mastard”, the name of the flour, and was probably informing him of what it was.
Everyone in Arnold Circle knew about how Medium-Sized Mo treated him, but because of the Slater family’s background, of how rich and kind they were, everyone thought nothing of it.
Kitty was now on her way to visit her mum’s shop. It sold top quality goods, not stolen, and in perfect condition, and they weren’t rip-offs either. Most of the money went to charity, as her mum was a kind hearted woman - kind to everyone she met. The shop was across the road from Trover and Medium-Sized Mo’s apartment, which was 2 floors up.
“Hello mummy dear” Kitty childishly said, as she entered the shop.
“I’m very excited today. I’m putting on sale this new range of clothes that are very expensive, and rare.” Liz, Kitty’s mum, exclaimed. “I’ve got Mo up there dressing a mannequin for me, and the clothes are going to look just darling”
“Ooh, sounds nice, can I see?” asked Kitty.
“Mo should be finished by now, give her a ring, she’ll bring the dummy down”
Kitty got out a flash looking mobile phone, and selected the preset number for Mo’s apartment.
“Hello? Ah yes, Mo. I was wondering if I could see this dummy you’re dressing up. No, not Trover, I’ve seen him plenty of times. Yes, that’s right, for mummy’s shop. Yes. Go outside? Why…? Ok, I will, I will.”
With that she pressed the hang-up button on the phone, and wandered outside. She could see Medium-Sized Mo dragging a large plastic looking model, about half the size of a normal person, onto the outside balcony.
“Let me see it properly, I want to see it!” Kitty screamed up to the balcony.
With that, Mo lifted the model over the edge of the balcony, holding it by the head.
The model looked wonderful, it was covered in the lovely red coloured dress, and it had a matching veil across its face.
But, all of a sudden, Medium-Sized Mo’s grip loosened, and the model came crashing down into a crowd below, who had gathered round to see the model also. It had shattered into hundreds of pieces, and the dress was being scavenged by the crowd.
Mo’s face looked shocked. She wandered inside again, and heard Trover remark, “Heh, silly woman”.
She spun round, and stared at him with cold eyes. Trover knew what was coming, but he couldn’t be bothered with it any more. He quickly got up, and ran through to the kitchen, finding something to arm himself with. There was an iron, and a toaster on the worktop. He grabbed the iron, turned, and threw it at Mo. Everything seemed to go into slow motion, as the iron spun round and round, making it’s way towards Mo. She started to lean back to avoid the iron, her legs vertical, but her torso now almost horizontal, and her arms to the side. The iron flew over her face, and out over the balcony. Everything still was going at half speed, and as she started to raise herself, she spotted a silver chrome toaster flying at her. There wasn’t enough time to dodge it properly as she did with the iron, so started to dip her left shoulder, and turn, as the toaster flew by her.
Everything was now back in real-time, and she made a run towards Trover. He was terrified, what would he do? There was one item left on the worktop. A bike helmet. God knows what it was doing there, as in the first place, they didn’t have a bike. It would have to do, and he picked it up, and slammed it in her face as she approached him.
A scream was heard by Kitty and her mum from outside, so they quickly made their way up to the flat. Mo was laying there, her face squashed, and Trover hovering over her with a bloody bike helmet. It was the beginning of another “Who killed so-and-so” storyline, when it’s so obvious as to who it is....
Well, here's a spoof for ya, and as you may have guessed, it's an Eastenders parody (spoof).
I may as well post it, because I'm bored.
Don't complain to me if it's crap, because I know. I didn't have a clue as to how to make it remotely funny. After all, it was Eastenders I was basing it around.....
______________________________________________________
Westender
As the sun peacefully shone down on Arnold Circle, Paulie Fowler gazed out her window, listening to the cheerful, signing birds, and wondering what to wear today. She looked through her clothes cupboard, finding a nice blue frock next to an old tatty looking blue cardigan.
“Euch” she exclaimed, as she delicately removed the frock from the cupboard.
She made her way outside, almost skipping along to the local Restaurant. As she arrived, she saw Kitty Slater, who as always, was dressed like a movie star.
“Hello, my darling” said Paulie, as they ‘air-kissed’ each others cheeks.
“Eoh hello, you look fabulous darling!” replied Kitty.
Paulie continued into the Restaurant, and was shown towards a table. Across the room, she saw Ian Meal, the owner of the Restaurant. He was quite famous, since the Restaurant was one of the best of its kind. Rarely did he venture out into the Restaurant, as it usually caused hysteria. He was dressed in a smart black business suit, and had a smile on his face. He went back through to the kitchen.
“Aye! Yae didnae mean it noo, did ye no!?” scolded Medium-Sized Mo, in her thick Scottish accent.
“It, it was an accident, I didn’t mean…” Trover slowly said, but was cut off by another vicious shout from Medium-Sized Mo.
“Aye? An accident yae say? Well then…”
With that, she smacked him around the head.
“Oow!” exclaimed Trover.
“Oh, ‘am sorry, it was an accident” she smirked.
She continued to attack him, and he fell to the ground, and curled up. He had learned not to fight back, and just take it in.
He had to put up with these things.
As this happened, he thought about it all.
He loved her, really, but every now and then, but not too often, she would give him verbal abuse, or attack him. But, he knew most times she didn’t mean it.
Like last week, when she seemed to jump out on him as he left the bathroom (which was at the top of the stairs), and push him down the stairs, which caused him to smash his head of the conspicuously placed cupboard, filled with metal objects. She probably tripped or something, and grabbed him for support. And the cupboard? Medium-Sized Mo was always moving things about; she was probably re-arranging the furniture.
He imagined the event in his head.
And a couple of days ago, when the bag of flour “slipped out her hand”, and went all over him, blinding him at the same time, and then she pounced on him with a knife in her hand. Well, she was probably trying to wipe off the flour with the knife, although she did shout something at him. He couldn’t quite remember, but he was sure she mentioned “Dry Mastard”, the name of the flour, and was probably informing him of what it was.
Everyone in Arnold Circle knew about how Medium-Sized Mo treated him, but because of the Slater family’s background, of how rich and kind they were, everyone thought nothing of it.
Kitty was now on her way to visit her mum’s shop. It sold top quality goods, not stolen, and in perfect condition, and they weren’t rip-offs either. Most of the money went to charity, as her mum was a kind hearted woman - kind to everyone she met. The shop was across the road from Trover and Medium-Sized Mo’s apartment, which was 2 floors up.
“Hello mummy dear” Kitty childishly said, as she entered the shop.
“I’m very excited today. I’m putting on sale this new range of clothes that are very expensive, and rare.” Liz, Kitty’s mum, exclaimed. “I’ve got Mo up there dressing a mannequin for me, and the clothes are going to look just darling”
“Ooh, sounds nice, can I see?” asked Kitty.
“Mo should be finished by now, give her a ring, she’ll bring the dummy down”
Kitty got out a flash looking mobile phone, and selected the preset number for Mo’s apartment.
“Hello? Ah yes, Mo. I was wondering if I could see this dummy you’re dressing up. No, not Trover, I’ve seen him plenty of times. Yes, that’s right, for mummy’s shop. Yes. Go outside? Why…? Ok, I will, I will.”
With that she pressed the hang-up button on the phone, and wandered outside. She could see Medium-Sized Mo dragging a large plastic looking model, about half the size of a normal person, onto the outside balcony.
“Let me see it properly, I want to see it!” Kitty screamed up to the balcony.
With that, Mo lifted the model over the edge of the balcony, holding it by the head.
The model looked wonderful, it was covered in the lovely red coloured dress, and it had a matching veil across its face.
But, all of a sudden, Medium-Sized Mo’s grip loosened, and the model came crashing down into a crowd below, who had gathered round to see the model also. It had shattered into hundreds of pieces, and the dress was being scavenged by the crowd.
Mo’s face looked shocked. She wandered inside again, and heard Trover remark, “Heh, silly woman”.
She spun round, and stared at him with cold eyes. Trover knew what was coming, but he couldn’t be bothered with it any more. He quickly got up, and ran through to the kitchen, finding something to arm himself with. There was an iron, and a toaster on the worktop. He grabbed the iron, turned, and threw it at Mo. Everything seemed to go into slow motion, as the iron spun round and round, making it’s way towards Mo. She started to lean back to avoid the iron, her legs vertical, but her torso now almost horizontal, and her arms to the side. The iron flew over her face, and out over the balcony. Everything still was going at half speed, and as she started to raise herself, she spotted a silver chrome toaster flying at her. There wasn’t enough time to dodge it properly as she did with the iron, so started to dip her left shoulder, and turn, as the toaster flew by her.
Everything was now back in real-time, and she made a run towards Trover. He was terrified, what would he do? There was one item left on the worktop. A bike helmet. God knows what it was doing there, as in the first place, they didn’t have a bike. It would have to do, and he picked it up, and slammed it in her face as she approached him.
A scream was heard by Kitty and her mum from outside, so they quickly made their way up to the flat. Mo was laying there, her face squashed, and Trover hovering over her with a bloody bike helmet. It was the beginning of another “Who killed so-and-so” storyline, when it’s so obvious as to who it is....