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"Being Drunk: The Game"

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Tue 25/02/03 at 18:55
Regular
Posts: 787
Being Drunk: The Game

Isn’t it great being drunk? Yes, of course it is, your worries are gone, you can chat up beautiful women (badly, admittedly) and fall asleep in a pool of your own watery sick. However getting absolutely hammered costs a fair amount of cash these days, unless you take the cheap cider approach, which often results in kidney failure. Have you ever wished for the effects of being totally plastered without the terrible hangover and the taste of vomit and peanuts in your mouth the following morning? Well now you can with ‘Being Drunk: The Game’, a revolutionary title from Kyz Industries.

The first step of the game is to choose your poison; you have to begin on something light such as beer, lager or alcopops then progress gradually until you are drinking absinth, aftershave and Flash from under the kitchen sink. Also you need to choose how many of each you drink and your game status can range from tipsy where you are just happy and jolly, to wasted where you hear ‘the voices’ and people blur into each other.

The second part of the game is the location(s) for your alcohol-fuelled fiasco. You can choose from a number of prime locations such as bars, clubs, house parties and nightclubs, and a number of less popular locations like the bus shelter, the local dump, a friends bathroom and on a tightrope high above a busy road.

What would your night be like without strangers to chat up or fight with and mates you carry you home and right rude things across your forehead? Of course, the third stage is to choose who is going to me at the places you visit. You can choose mates or strangers, sexy ladies or tough guys, hippies or ravers. It is up to you who is there, you can even crash a 5 year olds birthday party or an old peoples bingo night.

Once all of the previous things have been selected you are ready to begin. The game can be controlled in two modes, 3rd person Sims mode where you click and tell yourself to do stuff like “Chat up that honey” or “Hit fat guy with snooker cue.” The other gameplay mode is 1st person and you strut around and see things as a drunker you would.

Being a game, you have to fulfil certain tasks before ‘closing time’ and are the usual drunk things to do.

- You have to chat somebody up. It doesn’t matter what age or gender they are, but it is a rule of being drunk. This is played in a turn-based style with you choosing a chatup line and the computer generating an insult, which tells you where exactly to shove it. You succeed if you manage to get the girls number or don’t get slapped.

- You have to start a fight with anyone and by any means. You may wish to avoid the meatheads who hang around the pool tables and own he motorbikes outside though. You can begin with a mild shove and work your way up to a knockout punch or hit over the head with a bar stool. You are the official winner when the other person is out cold or you are banned from the club/pub/bingo hall.

- You have to buy a dodgy fast food takeaway at 2AM. Be it a kebab or a Chinese, you need to eat some greasy stuff that you will wake up with your face in the next morning. This is more difficult that in seems because you will be so drunk you will find it hard walking through the door of the takeaway and counting out the correct change will be an impossibility. This feature can be enhanced by those who have rumble capabilities in their game pads.

- The next task is to find your way home. This is the most difficult part of the game and requires some quick thinking. Crossing a virtual road when virtually drunk isn’t easy you know! You need to locate your house or flat in the computer-generated town, struggle to find your keys then struggle even more to get them into the lock. Once inside your house you have to lock up again and then it is decision time.

- The decision you need to make is if you will go to bed or stay up and drink whatever you can find in the cupboards. If you opt for going to bed then you need to locate your bedroom and casually flop onto the bed and begin snoring. If you choose the stay up and drink, then you have yet another challenge! You need to find anything in the house that contains alcohol and swig it fast. You will begin with the obvious things like the cans of lager in the fridge and the bottle of vodka in the cabinet but slowly progress to anything that says [%vol] on the label. This may include antiseptic cream, antifreeze and toilet duck. Once you have drunk everything possible you should either pass out due to having more alcohol than blood in your blood stream or collapse from poisoning.

The beauty of the game is that you don’t wake up with a pounding headache, sick all over your chin and an ugly girl in bed next to you.

-kyz˛˛-
Wed 26/02/03 at 13:56
Regular
"Going nowhere fast"
Posts: 6,574
Melancholy wrote:

> It may be an ugly man. Trust me, it happens.

I trust you. It has happened.
Wed 26/02/03 at 13:00
Regular
"Must be Parkinson's"
Posts: 1,471
Ineedsleep wrote:

> P.S. I never wake up with an ugly girl in my bed but I seem to have
> experienced most of the rest.

You haven't? It may be an ugly man. Trust me, it happens.
Tue 25/02/03 at 21:48
Regular
"Going nowhere fast"
Posts: 6,574
Top stuff again.

I know you enjoy writing but where the hell do you get your ideas from?

P.S. I never wake up with an ugly girl in my bed but I seem to have experienced most of the rest.
Tue 25/02/03 at 21:13
Regular
"Must be Parkinson's"
Posts: 1,471
If it was as brilliant as your Westenders thing, I have no reason why/why not to read it.

*runs*
Tue 25/02/03 at 19:47
Regular
"Which one's pink?"
Posts: 12,152
Ho ho, very good, much better than some of the rushed pieces of *ahem* you've churned out in the last week or so.

Hmmm, might do a "Being High: The Game" now.....
Tue 25/02/03 at 19:40
"slightlyshortertagl"
Posts: 10,759
I like it

:-D
Tue 25/02/03 at 19:29
Regular
"Z will be here soon"
Posts: 7,562
I will tell you the same as everyone else King Kong, I enjoy writing :-)

Can I have your msn addy or can you add me: - [email protected] - cheers
Tue 25/02/03 at 19:26
Regular
"Being Ignorant"
Posts: 2,574
Why do you do this Kyz, and how do you do it? Every flaming day. Give the poor less intelligent users a chance eh?

Oh yeah, and well done you for breaking SRs Ukcheats milestone barrier.

:)
Tue 25/02/03 at 19:25
Regular
"Brrrrr."
Posts: 1,864
BEARDS. wrote:
> You can't drink Flash, it has a chemical in it that makes you throw up
> as soon as it hits the back of your throat.
>
> Who says daytime TV can't teach you anything...

Oh, my dear BEARDS, allow me to prove you wrong. Btw, if I don't post anything here in the next couple of days, phone my parents and ask them to check my pulse...
Tue 25/02/03 at 19:07
Regular
"Z will be here soon"
Posts: 7,562
BEARDS - Learn something new every day, eh!

Melancholy - I am worries as to why exactly you have a deer in your eye :-P

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