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Easy there all you regulars. It’s not what you think....
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Reports are circulating suggesting that recent tensions between the major console manufacturers may actually be caused by frustrations over Nintendo’s continued domination of the highly lucrative “Children Fields”. For several years rivals have been sending diplomats into the region to attempt negotiations over fairer distribution of this valuable resource. These diplomats, most notably one Professor C. Bandicoot, have subsequently been lost without a trace. Foreign TV stations have been airing rare footage of two moustached brothers taking responsibility and showing no remorse for the loss of these individuals. They also stated that they “own” the Children Fields.
The world of console gaming has been waginga bloody battle for sales ever since the Japanese Console Crisis of the late eighties. Nations from around the globe have become heavily involved in the production of more powerful console units and the development of ways to snare new markets. But the place where it all started is with the kids. The Children Fields harbour reliable resources of what experts call “Pocket” money or “Allowance”, combined with a rich seasonal crop of “Christmas” money. Nintendo have been seen to capitalise on this income heavily for a long time, and rivals are becoming increasingly aware that they are missing out.
Tensions are high, as console superpower Sony feel that it is time to take the Children Fields by force.
Already used to dominating the market through pre-emptive manoeuvres, Sony want to quash the threat that Nintendo pose before it is too late. Sony feels that it is justified in military action, claiming that Nintendo not only has total domination of the Children Fields, but is actively seeking to steal business from other markets. Naturally, gamers are concerned at the monopoly Sony may hold in the event of a successful strike.
An expert explains Sony’s aggressive behaviour, “Sony seems to feel that because it has sold the most units, it is the most capable manufacturer. This isn’t necessarily the case. It is quite likely that their current strong market position is due to Sony taking a gamble on early release of their product. Again.”
Gamers are also busy expressing their opinions. Infamous Sony activist Top score derides Nintendo’s ability to trade in the console market. “if Ninty fanboy saps keep buying the tripe then they (Nintendo) will keep developing them” quipped the Extreme Fundamentalist. Many are quick to rise to Nintendo’s defence, in spite of dubious evidence of the violent stranglehold that it has on the Children Fields. Edgy protests, “Not only are GameCubes being victimised by discrimination, but they are being physically hurt and even killed for being who they are!” On the other hand, SR forum user Goatboy is quoted as saying “I genuinely, hand on heart, wish for the utter destruction of you, me, everyone on this planet.” We are open to speculation on whether this is due to the state of the gaming industry or not.
There is no escaping the fact that the Console World is locked in a bitter fight for supremacy. Tensions continued to rise as rogue state Sega saw the defection/forced departure of several of its most important officials, such as General Son Ic. Rumours of strong alliances with several other industry fringe members are fuelling speculation that they may be preparing to resume production, much to the dismay of the market leaders.
Fears are that if disputes continue to escalate, the world could face Console Armageddon, as the manufactures pile so much energy into their next generation machines that entire organisations implode spectacularly, ravaging the face of the world economy and plunging gamers into a long console drought. Subsequent riots could reach such proportions that many of the worlds major cities would be subjected to long periods of looting and mob rule.
But for now loyal gamers must brave the storm. Industry Watchdogs urge consumers not to panic buy, or cease support of the industry altogether, but to continue gaming as normal. A tough task to manage in the face of such adversity, but when given the message “Your Console Needs YOU!” most gamers demonstrate an unsurpassed loyalty to their trusty games machine. So buy your games, play them and enjoy them, safe in the knowledge that your small contribution could make the difference between world domination and total destruction for your favourite console!
----------------------
My take on the oh-so common “Console Wars” post. Thanks for reading!
--------------------
Reports are circulating suggesting that recent tensions between the major console manufacturers may actually be caused by frustrations over Nintendo’s continued domination of the highly lucrative “Children Fields”. For several years rivals have been sending diplomats into the region to attempt negotiations over fairer distribution of this valuable resource. These diplomats, most notably one Professor C. Bandicoot, have subsequently been lost without a trace. Foreign TV stations have been airing rare footage of two moustached brothers taking responsibility and showing no remorse for the loss of these individuals. They also stated that they “own” the Children Fields.
The world of console gaming has been waginga bloody battle for sales ever since the Japanese Console Crisis of the late eighties. Nations from around the globe have become heavily involved in the production of more powerful console units and the development of ways to snare new markets. But the place where it all started is with the kids. The Children Fields harbour reliable resources of what experts call “Pocket” money or “Allowance”, combined with a rich seasonal crop of “Christmas” money. Nintendo have been seen to capitalise on this income heavily for a long time, and rivals are becoming increasingly aware that they are missing out.
Tensions are high, as console superpower Sony feel that it is time to take the Children Fields by force.
Already used to dominating the market through pre-emptive manoeuvres, Sony want to quash the threat that Nintendo pose before it is too late. Sony feels that it is justified in military action, claiming that Nintendo not only has total domination of the Children Fields, but is actively seeking to steal business from other markets. Naturally, gamers are concerned at the monopoly Sony may hold in the event of a successful strike.
An expert explains Sony’s aggressive behaviour, “Sony seems to feel that because it has sold the most units, it is the most capable manufacturer. This isn’t necessarily the case. It is quite likely that their current strong market position is due to Sony taking a gamble on early release of their product. Again.”
Gamers are also busy expressing their opinions. Infamous Sony activist Top score derides Nintendo’s ability to trade in the console market. “if Ninty fanboy saps keep buying the tripe then they (Nintendo) will keep developing them” quipped the Extreme Fundamentalist. Many are quick to rise to Nintendo’s defence, in spite of dubious evidence of the violent stranglehold that it has on the Children Fields. Edgy protests, “Not only are GameCubes being victimised by discrimination, but they are being physically hurt and even killed for being who they are!” On the other hand, SR forum user Goatboy is quoted as saying “I genuinely, hand on heart, wish for the utter destruction of you, me, everyone on this planet.” We are open to speculation on whether this is due to the state of the gaming industry or not.
There is no escaping the fact that the Console World is locked in a bitter fight for supremacy. Tensions continued to rise as rogue state Sega saw the defection/forced departure of several of its most important officials, such as General Son Ic. Rumours of strong alliances with several other industry fringe members are fuelling speculation that they may be preparing to resume production, much to the dismay of the market leaders.
Fears are that if disputes continue to escalate, the world could face Console Armageddon, as the manufactures pile so much energy into their next generation machines that entire organisations implode spectacularly, ravaging the face of the world economy and plunging gamers into a long console drought. Subsequent riots could reach such proportions that many of the worlds major cities would be subjected to long periods of looting and mob rule.
But for now loyal gamers must brave the storm. Industry Watchdogs urge consumers not to panic buy, or cease support of the industry altogether, but to continue gaming as normal. A tough task to manage in the face of such adversity, but when given the message “Your Console Needs YOU!” most gamers demonstrate an unsurpassed loyalty to their trusty games machine. So buy your games, play them and enjoy them, safe in the knowledge that your small contribution could make the difference between world domination and total destruction for your favourite console!
----------------------
My take on the oh-so common “Console Wars” post. Thanks for reading!
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Alright ladies, no fighting in my thread!
*calls security*
*calls security*
good for you
Because you obviously haven't read the topic properly, if at all. If you'd even made an attempt to read it, you'd know that this wasn't a console wars topic and was actually sarcastic :)
Damn n00bs. Glad I'm not one :D
Damn n00bs. Glad I'm not one :D
Muddatrucker wrote:
> *Laughs at the fact that Mantalpiece hasn't read the post properly*
why you laughing because i dont find anything funny!
> *Laughs at the fact that Mantalpiece hasn't read the post properly*
why you laughing because i dont find anything funny!
Rainier Wolfcastle wrote:
> I suspect Console War posts are created by people that suspect that
> they have bought the wrong console, and seek validation for their
> choice from others, or a place to vent their frustration.
No, they are started by 'Style over Substance' n00bs from the Sony forum.
> I suspect Console War posts are created by people that suspect that
> they have bought the wrong console, and seek validation for their
> choice from others, or a place to vent their frustration.
No, they are started by 'Style over Substance' n00bs from the Sony forum.
Rainier Wolfcastle wrote:
> Muddatrucker wrote:
> And the most replies I've had to a topic is one, so don't feel so bad
> :)
>
> That'll be the curse of 'Red Name' syndrome. Newbie posts tend to
> either get flamed if they're rubbish, or just left to drop (unless
> they are truly astounding in quality!).
>
> When you become a regular, then you'll get two replies!
>
> ;-D
And if I'm a Notable, 3...hundred :D
*Laughs at the fact that Mantalpiece hasn't read the post properly*
Mudda :)
> Muddatrucker wrote:
> And the most replies I've had to a topic is one, so don't feel so bad
> :)
>
> That'll be the curse of 'Red Name' syndrome. Newbie posts tend to
> either get flamed if they're rubbish, or just left to drop (unless
> they are truly astounding in quality!).
>
> When you become a regular, then you'll get two replies!
>
> ;-D
And if I'm a Notable, 3...hundred :D
*Laughs at the fact that Mantalpiece hasn't read the post properly*
Mudda :)
Bckpac wrote:
> 3 replies actually, well done its a welcome change
> there are too many damn console war topics on this forum
> at the minute and its newbies, its giving people like me
> and muddatrucker a bad name thats why I get some mad when
> I see PS2 vs Xbox or PS2 vs Gamecube. They are all
> quality consoles.
Yeah, I actually started writing this post before all of these vs topics appeared. Talk about timing! I must have a sixth sense.
Yes, at the end of the day, all consoles have their merits and weaknesses. Which one you want depends on what your specific interests are.
I suspect Console War posts are created by people that suspect that they have bought the wrong console, and seek validation for their choice from others, or a place to vent their frustration.
Just my opinion though!
> 3 replies actually, well done its a welcome change
> there are too many damn console war topics on this forum
> at the minute and its newbies, its giving people like me
> and muddatrucker a bad name thats why I get some mad when
> I see PS2 vs Xbox or PS2 vs Gamecube. They are all
> quality consoles.
Yeah, I actually started writing this post before all of these vs topics appeared. Talk about timing! I must have a sixth sense.
Yes, at the end of the day, all consoles have their merits and weaknesses. Which one you want depends on what your specific interests are.
I suspect Console War posts are created by people that suspect that they have bought the wrong console, and seek validation for their choice from others, or a place to vent their frustration.
Just my opinion though!
please people dont even bother posting threads like these, because people simply arent interested.
write something thats new and that hasnt been written before about a thousand times
*as this one has*
something interesting and use your initiative to grab peoples attenion by writing something interesting not a load of crap!!
write something thats new and that hasnt been written before about a thousand times
*as this one has*
something interesting and use your initiative to grab peoples attenion by writing something interesting not a load of crap!!
I should send an Email to SR stating they should ban anyone who starts any topic that is a console wars (excluding ones that are just spoofs like yours) topic stating that one console rulz while another suxs.
Muddatrucker wrote:
> And the most replies I've had to a topic is one, so don't feel so bad :)
That'll be the curse of 'Red Name' syndrome. Newbie posts tend to either get flamed if they're rubbish, or just left to drop (unless they are truly astounding in quality!).
When you become a regular, then you'll get two replies!
;-D
> And the most replies I've had to a topic is one, so don't feel so bad :)
That'll be the curse of 'Red Name' syndrome. Newbie posts tend to either get flamed if they're rubbish, or just left to drop (unless they are truly astounding in quality!).
When you become a regular, then you'll get two replies!
;-D
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