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Was rubbish!
Gone
Gone
Nantucket.. lol FM your funny :P
No worries Darr. Perhaps if you simplify your words instead of jumbling them trying to articulate in just one complicated word? Perhaps stories are better to write now, instead of poetry?
No worries Darr. Perhaps if you simplify your words instead of jumbling them trying to articulate in just one complicated word? Perhaps stories are better to write now, instead of poetry?
Not at all, I really prefer the other one too :D
As I said, losing my touch. The problem is, when I write something, at the time I think 'yeah, this is brilliant!' etc, then it's only afterwards I realise 'oh hang on this isn't so good after all'
Perhaps I should write a line, wait an hour, then write another one
As I said, losing my touch. The problem is, when I write something, at the time I think 'yeah, this is brilliant!' etc, then it's only afterwards I realise 'oh hang on this isn't so good after all'
Perhaps I should write a line, wait an hour, then write another one
Preferred the first one. Must be the italics. The words from this one felt like they were being fired by an Uzi rather than the pen of a poet laureate. It seemed to lack aesthetic and the rhythm missfired in a couple of places.
This woefully amateur critique was brought to you by a person whose best opus ended four lines early because he couldn't find anything to rhyme with Nantucket, so don't take it to heart :)
This woefully amateur critique was brought to you by a person whose best opus ended four lines early because he couldn't find anything to rhyme with Nantucket, so don't take it to heart :)
Was rubbish!
Gone
Gone