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Pro Script: I think this has a vague spoiler related to Super Mario Sunshine somewhere in it, so if you're touchy, then go away. And kill yourself.
There has always been a strange obsession within the male community with round objects, from hamburgers, to the moon. Many developers have tried to bring the wonders of a sphere into the gaming world, but due to the fact that every thing is made out of triangles, this unfortunately doesn't quite work out. Over the past few years, we've experienced an octagonal nose on Mario, odd shaped breasticles on Lara, and squarish footballs. Nevertheless, this does not discourage people from trying to bring the "Best Shape In The World TM" into the modern age, and here are the best examples.
In FIFA games, balls are brought to attention in three main ways, not all executed properly. The first reference to balls comes from just looking at a still screen of the game. At a daytime match, one will often wonder where the lighting comes from. It turns out, that it comes from the sun. The sun is a giant flaming thing, that no-one has ever been bothered to extinguish. It casts painful light onto the world except at night time, but the sun is also a ball. Though it does seem to be a rather subtle reference to balls, the same ball is used in actually quite a lot of games. The second and least subtle use of the balls in the game is shown through the characters. Take a moment to think about the scenario: It is mid-afternoon, 22 men run into a secluded grassy area, wearing shorts. The sexual tension is unbearable. It is through homo-eroticism, that all those copies of FIFA have been sold. There are two ways this can be interpreted. You can sourly think that: "Those overpaid monkeys, obviously only play the game because they have no balls. A more common interpretation is that: "They are so manly, I wish I had balls as big as them". Unfortunately, due to the lack of power in today's consoles, the true reason for giving men genitalia in games is lost. The third reference is not often spotted by all. As I closely analysed a football match (Bromly Vs Stoke), I noticed that the men are playing with balls. A common misinterpretation is that this is a barbaric sport, in which men kick spheres for their own pleasure. To a lesser extent, this is true, but it also contains some heavy religious metaphors, which I will allow you to discover, for fear of sounding preachy.
Super Monkey Ball is a deep game. The game raises many questions which humans are generally scared to ask themselves. These questions range from a standard question such as: "What kind of genius traps monkeys in balls?" to the amazingly deep: "Should I risk my life for a couple of bananas?". These may be deep questions, but the more intellectual side of the game is revealed through the trapping of monkeys in balls. Through hearing that the game is based around monkeys in balls, the reality of the situation is that everyone will have drawn their own conclusions of the game, even if they haven't played it. This is a smart move on SEGA's part, as this means that only the more open minded gamers will play the game, giving it an underground status, making SEGA the David Blaine of the games industry. There are three main pulling points to SMB: You get to play as monkeys! You get to play as an innocent little child! There are balls! Now I don't know about you, but the sound of an innocent lit... I mean the sound of rolling around in a ball is an attractive one to say the least. A common reason for wanting to play a game is because you were never allowed to do those things in real life. For example, my parents refused to take me to Russia, to save the citizens from falling blocks. Though this left a giant mental scar on me, Tetris stopped me from committing suicide. The same applies to Monkey Ball. I doubt that there was one child apart from me that didn't get to ride around in airless translucent balls (I have over-protective parents). Nevertheless, this did not stop me from playing SMB. But anyways, back to expert level with "Baby"...... Mmm.
Nintendo grew increasingly seedy after the failure of the gamecube. The latest stream of games pouring from their evil mouths, have been the sexually promiscuous "PIKMIN" (notice that it is just an erotic spelling of pacman) and the fairly dire (in comparison to the others), Uber Maryo Sunshyn (it's copyrighted). Everything about the game is seedy, including the debatable reason why they went to a questionably shaped island for a "relaxing" holiday. It is incinuated that peach was abused by Bowser, fulfilling Shigeru's promise of a more adult and responsible Mario. This is all related to the problems that males can cause with what their spheres contain. A quote springs to mind from Spiderman: "With great power, comes great responsibility". This just shows that however cool and powerful balls are, it doesn't mean you can go raping princesses. This adds a great sense of foreboding to the gameplay after Peach is captured, and those fears are brought to life, at the end of the game where you see Peach being forced to have a bath with Bowser. With one reference to balls, a whole different method of playing and atmosphere is added to the game. Mario has grown up but so soon? It used to be that a kiss on the nose or a thank you maintained the love interest between the princess and the plumber.
But in the end, it just goes to show, that balls in games is as natural as beef in a pie.
Well, that's it. *Runs*
Melancholy
There has always been a strange obsession within the male community with round objects, from hamburgers, to the moon. Many developers have tried to bring the wonders of a sphere into the gaming world, but due to the fact that every thing is made out of triangles, this unfortunately doesn't quite work out. Over the past few years, we've experienced an octagonal nose on Mario, odd shaped breasticles on Lara, and squarish footballs. Nevertheless, this does not discourage people from trying to bring the "Best Shape In The World TM" into the modern age, and here are the best examples.
In FIFA games, balls are brought to attention in three main ways, not all executed properly. The first reference to balls comes from just looking at a still screen of the game. At a daytime match, one will often wonder where the lighting comes from. It turns out, that it comes from the sun. The sun is a giant flaming thing, that no-one has ever been bothered to extinguish. It casts painful light onto the world except at night time, but the sun is also a ball. Though it does seem to be a rather subtle reference to balls, the same ball is used in actually quite a lot of games. The second and least subtle use of the balls in the game is shown through the characters. Take a moment to think about the scenario: It is mid-afternoon, 22 men run into a secluded grassy area, wearing shorts. The sexual tension is unbearable. It is through homo-eroticism, that all those copies of FIFA have been sold. There are two ways this can be interpreted. You can sourly think that: "Those overpaid monkeys, obviously only play the game because they have no balls. A more common interpretation is that: "They are so manly, I wish I had balls as big as them". Unfortunately, due to the lack of power in today's consoles, the true reason for giving men genitalia in games is lost. The third reference is not often spotted by all. As I closely analysed a football match (Bromly Vs Stoke), I noticed that the men are playing with balls. A common misinterpretation is that this is a barbaric sport, in which men kick spheres for their own pleasure. To a lesser extent, this is true, but it also contains some heavy religious metaphors, which I will allow you to discover, for fear of sounding preachy.
Super Monkey Ball is a deep game. The game raises many questions which humans are generally scared to ask themselves. These questions range from a standard question such as: "What kind of genius traps monkeys in balls?" to the amazingly deep: "Should I risk my life for a couple of bananas?". These may be deep questions, but the more intellectual side of the game is revealed through the trapping of monkeys in balls. Through hearing that the game is based around monkeys in balls, the reality of the situation is that everyone will have drawn their own conclusions of the game, even if they haven't played it. This is a smart move on SEGA's part, as this means that only the more open minded gamers will play the game, giving it an underground status, making SEGA the David Blaine of the games industry. There are three main pulling points to SMB: You get to play as monkeys! You get to play as an innocent little child! There are balls! Now I don't know about you, but the sound of an innocent lit... I mean the sound of rolling around in a ball is an attractive one to say the least. A common reason for wanting to play a game is because you were never allowed to do those things in real life. For example, my parents refused to take me to Russia, to save the citizens from falling blocks. Though this left a giant mental scar on me, Tetris stopped me from committing suicide. The same applies to Monkey Ball. I doubt that there was one child apart from me that didn't get to ride around in airless translucent balls (I have over-protective parents). Nevertheless, this did not stop me from playing SMB. But anyways, back to expert level with "Baby"...... Mmm.
Nintendo grew increasingly seedy after the failure of the gamecube. The latest stream of games pouring from their evil mouths, have been the sexually promiscuous "PIKMIN" (notice that it is just an erotic spelling of pacman) and the fairly dire (in comparison to the others), Uber Maryo Sunshyn (it's copyrighted). Everything about the game is seedy, including the debatable reason why they went to a questionably shaped island for a "relaxing" holiday. It is incinuated that peach was abused by Bowser, fulfilling Shigeru's promise of a more adult and responsible Mario. This is all related to the problems that males can cause with what their spheres contain. A quote springs to mind from Spiderman: "With great power, comes great responsibility". This just shows that however cool and powerful balls are, it doesn't mean you can go raping princesses. This adds a great sense of foreboding to the gameplay after Peach is captured, and those fears are brought to life, at the end of the game where you see Peach being forced to have a bath with Bowser. With one reference to balls, a whole different method of playing and atmosphere is added to the game. Mario has grown up but so soon? It used to be that a kiss on the nose or a thank you maintained the love interest between the princess and the plumber.
But in the end, it just goes to show, that balls in games is as natural as beef in a pie.
Well, that's it. *Runs*
Melancholy
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I wonder whether I'll take in Kyz22, El Blokey and Rosalind's opinion on the post or yours.
what's this spam I see?
what a waste of valuable eye-time, reading that.
what a waste of valuable eye-time, reading that.
Why thankyou.
funny
what is it with males and balls. Its an unhealthy obssesion you know.
Girls aren't obssesed with balls.
Good post though
what is it with males and balls. Its an unhealthy obssesion you know.
Girls aren't obssesed with balls.
Good post though
El Blokey wrote:
> First me "b*tching about notable elections" and now this.
> Your "be hilarious by flaming El Blokey" bender is annoying.
Damn im just kidding mate, cool it :-)
> First me "b*tching about notable elections" and now this.
> Your "be hilarious by flaming El Blokey" bender is annoying.
Damn im just kidding mate, cool it :-)
Kyz22 wrote:
> Your 'criticise every other post except you own' bender seems to be
> coming to an end, im impressed mate!
First me "b*tching about notable elections" and now this. Your "be hilarious by flaming El Blokey" bender is annoying.
> Your 'criticise every other post except you own' bender seems to be
> coming to an end, im impressed mate!
First me "b*tching about notable elections" and now this. Your "be hilarious by flaming El Blokey" bender is annoying.
That's good to know.
Now back to the thread.
Please.
Now back to the thread.
Please.
Hello!
Hello?
Gah...
You should probably reply to this thread.
I may explode.
You should probably reply to this thread.
I may explode.
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