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* If you haven't read the previous drunk hero's story then you might want to read it before this one *
Since the last successful mission our drunken hero's have all left their jobs and started there own business where they attempt to rid the world of evil. It isn't easy but someone has to do it. For the first couple of years things were quiet, the odd job saving cats from trees or giving talks at schools about the effects of being evil. But suddenly things changed. The world became a much darker and sadder place. After defeating Microhard and their brainwashing consoles the world became peaceful again, that was up until now.
The Microhard boss had escaped from prison and had gone into hiding, where he was in the process of designing one of the most deadliest and just plain evil devices the world had ever seen.
In the pub the group who still hadn't decided on a name all sat round the table closest to the fire, various pieces of scrunched up paper lay in the fire burning away.
"I hate making plans!" blasted Stryke, he was frustrated at nobody helping.
"Lets just go bash him stupid with big sticks" said Rasta as he necked another pint. Ant lay on one of the sofa's, he had already drank too much and had passed out. The others in true comical fashion had stripped him of all his clothes and put everything back on back to front. A grunt came from the corner as Sheepy clambered back to his feet, that bottle of vodka made him a little tipsy and caused him to fall straight of his chair. He brushed the dirt of his kilt and sat back down.
"I have a plan", he said in his deep Scottish accent, "A damm fine plan like no others." The others looked round, waiting for the words to leave his mouth. "Emm well we phone the police and let them do it while we get drunk."
"You idiot" shouted Rasta, "the government are in on it so they can get a nice piece of the pie, a share of the takings."
As he spoke Ant got up and looked around, a look of shock on his face as he looked at his clothes, he was too drunk to work out what happened but he did like his new look. "Woo look, the ladies are gonna love me in this. I'm unique"
"You sure are" laughed Stryke.
They eventually noted down a few ideas and left the pub, Rasta and Stryke had to carry Ant as he couldn't, due to the copious amounts of alcohol he had drank, move his legs in the motion that allows him to walk. They headed back to the flat to crash before beginning the plan in the morning. The threw Ant on the old sofa in the back and made their way into the kitchen, there on the far wall in large red letters were the words "You will pay for this". Stryke hid under the breakfast bar, alcohol made him fear a lot of things. Rasta on the other hand became stupidly brave, he began shouting "Bring it on, I'll take you now punk."
Sheepy ran in "Way hey fight, yeah kick him in the groin!" after realising there was no fight Sheepy went back to bed, the others followed shortly after.
The morning sun broke through the gap in the curtains, Ant sat up, no hangover at all, he could here a grunting noise from the floor, It was Stryke, Ant kicked him lightly a few times to wake him up.
"My head hurts, do something Ant or I'll beat you stupid"
The two began shouting, ready to fight but Sheepy walked in. "Ladies put those handbags away." As he spoke a gorgeous blonde with legs that seemed to go up and up walked out of his room. Stryke and Ant looked in amazement as she kissed Sheepy and then left. "Err emm how do you do it Sheepy? Where did she come from, she wasn't here last night"
"No idea guys, guess you've got it or you don't. She just phones late last night to say she needed me, so she came round and well the rest is the same as usual." Said Sheepy as he went to look for Rasta.
It was time, they all left on bicycles and headed to the old factory were the rumour was that the Microhard boss was hiding. Pretty pants hiding place if you ask me but I don't care because it is my story.
They left their bikes chained to an old rusty pipe, Ant was keen to remove the tyres and seat to warn off potential thief's but Rasta was keen just to go in and get the job done. They all removed the dart guns from their belts, Stryke opened his rucksack and handed each of them a stink bomb and a smoke bomb. "I made these because I'm clever"
The place smelled like an old folks home, they could hear large machines at work. In the large main room there was a large silver machine and workers trying to operate it. A large voice spoke through the sound system. "I see you have arrived, prepare to witness the end! Guards get them and bring them to me."
A group of guards ran towards them, Sheepy took his bottle from his bag, lit a rag which he had carefully stuffed into the bottle neck. He threw it and it exploded and caught fire, the guards ran, screaming like little girls that had just been burned. Ant ran and picked up the guns which they had dropped. "Way hey hey, I got me a machine gun," more guards ran towards him, he began to shoot but the kickback knocked him back and through a wall. "That doesn't happen in time crisis!"
The others ran through the hole and armed themselves and got ready to fight, shots fired all around as Ant got a little trigger happy, he aimed at anything which moved and had quite a good shot. Soon a pile of guards, seagulls, and rats were lying at the end of the hall, "Damm it, that me beat" the voice on the speaker said. "Opps, left the button on, err I was lying!" it said before it was shut off. Stryke made his way to the machine, he read the manual, "Oh dear, he plans on killing gaming for good, RASTA, He is gonna kill GameCube and the others"
Rasta ran in, gun at the ready. "Come out and face me like a man"
Sure enough he did, ready to fight. He had a small control in his hand. "When I press this button it will be the end, the machine sends out a special radio wave which will damage every single processor in any gaming console." Rasta acted quickly and kicked it out his hand, Stryke tried as hard as he could to dismantle the machine but struggled. Ant picked up the control and ran away. Sheepy picked up a gun out of Strykes bag and fired it at Mr Microhard. "No sheepy, that's the water gun filled with vodka!" shouted Stryke, but it was too late, Sheepy had shot him in the face.
They all looked as the man fell to his knees, he looked up at Rasta, "eh..eh.. he is a robot!" shouted Rasta, the vodka had melted away his fake face to reveal his true identity, he was indeed a robot. Suddenly they heard a noise, they looked round to see a small midget running away with a controller in his hand. They gave chase and caught him, they held him upside down until he told them how to take the robot and machine apart, they then took the midget to the local prison where he now performs as a inmate circus clown to entertain the other prisoners.
So they had saved the world, finally put an end to the evil Microhard man and been given a tasty reward, all that was left now was to go get really drunk and get some strippers. A happy ending for all, except Stryke, he was really sick, due to drink and slept with Ant's sister Sally. Now Ant keeps referring to him as brother. Oh well life goes on.
The End - For good, no more drunks!
P.S Happy New Year
Since the last successful mission our drunken hero's have all left their jobs and started there own business where they attempt to rid the world of evil. It isn't easy but someone has to do it. For the first couple of years things were quiet, the odd job saving cats from trees or giving talks at schools about the effects of being evil. But suddenly things changed. The world became a much darker and sadder place. After defeating Microhard and their brainwashing consoles the world became peaceful again, that was up until now.
The Microhard boss had escaped from prison and had gone into hiding, where he was in the process of designing one of the most deadliest and just plain evil devices the world had ever seen.
In the pub the group who still hadn't decided on a name all sat round the table closest to the fire, various pieces of scrunched up paper lay in the fire burning away.
"I hate making plans!" blasted Stryke, he was frustrated at nobody helping.
"Lets just go bash him stupid with big sticks" said Rasta as he necked another pint. Ant lay on one of the sofa's, he had already drank too much and had passed out. The others in true comical fashion had stripped him of all his clothes and put everything back on back to front. A grunt came from the corner as Sheepy clambered back to his feet, that bottle of vodka made him a little tipsy and caused him to fall straight of his chair. He brushed the dirt of his kilt and sat back down.
"I have a plan", he said in his deep Scottish accent, "A damm fine plan like no others." The others looked round, waiting for the words to leave his mouth. "Emm well we phone the police and let them do it while we get drunk."
"You idiot" shouted Rasta, "the government are in on it so they can get a nice piece of the pie, a share of the takings."
As he spoke Ant got up and looked around, a look of shock on his face as he looked at his clothes, he was too drunk to work out what happened but he did like his new look. "Woo look, the ladies are gonna love me in this. I'm unique"
"You sure are" laughed Stryke.
They eventually noted down a few ideas and left the pub, Rasta and Stryke had to carry Ant as he couldn't, due to the copious amounts of alcohol he had drank, move his legs in the motion that allows him to walk. They headed back to the flat to crash before beginning the plan in the morning. The threw Ant on the old sofa in the back and made their way into the kitchen, there on the far wall in large red letters were the words "You will pay for this". Stryke hid under the breakfast bar, alcohol made him fear a lot of things. Rasta on the other hand became stupidly brave, he began shouting "Bring it on, I'll take you now punk."
Sheepy ran in "Way hey fight, yeah kick him in the groin!" after realising there was no fight Sheepy went back to bed, the others followed shortly after.
The morning sun broke through the gap in the curtains, Ant sat up, no hangover at all, he could here a grunting noise from the floor, It was Stryke, Ant kicked him lightly a few times to wake him up.
"My head hurts, do something Ant or I'll beat you stupid"
The two began shouting, ready to fight but Sheepy walked in. "Ladies put those handbags away." As he spoke a gorgeous blonde with legs that seemed to go up and up walked out of his room. Stryke and Ant looked in amazement as she kissed Sheepy and then left. "Err emm how do you do it Sheepy? Where did she come from, she wasn't here last night"
"No idea guys, guess you've got it or you don't. She just phones late last night to say she needed me, so she came round and well the rest is the same as usual." Said Sheepy as he went to look for Rasta.
It was time, they all left on bicycles and headed to the old factory were the rumour was that the Microhard boss was hiding. Pretty pants hiding place if you ask me but I don't care because it is my story.
They left their bikes chained to an old rusty pipe, Ant was keen to remove the tyres and seat to warn off potential thief's but Rasta was keen just to go in and get the job done. They all removed the dart guns from their belts, Stryke opened his rucksack and handed each of them a stink bomb and a smoke bomb. "I made these because I'm clever"
The place smelled like an old folks home, they could hear large machines at work. In the large main room there was a large silver machine and workers trying to operate it. A large voice spoke through the sound system. "I see you have arrived, prepare to witness the end! Guards get them and bring them to me."
A group of guards ran towards them, Sheepy took his bottle from his bag, lit a rag which he had carefully stuffed into the bottle neck. He threw it and it exploded and caught fire, the guards ran, screaming like little girls that had just been burned. Ant ran and picked up the guns which they had dropped. "Way hey hey, I got me a machine gun," more guards ran towards him, he began to shoot but the kickback knocked him back and through a wall. "That doesn't happen in time crisis!"
The others ran through the hole and armed themselves and got ready to fight, shots fired all around as Ant got a little trigger happy, he aimed at anything which moved and had quite a good shot. Soon a pile of guards, seagulls, and rats were lying at the end of the hall, "Damm it, that me beat" the voice on the speaker said. "Opps, left the button on, err I was lying!" it said before it was shut off. Stryke made his way to the machine, he read the manual, "Oh dear, he plans on killing gaming for good, RASTA, He is gonna kill GameCube and the others"
Rasta ran in, gun at the ready. "Come out and face me like a man"
Sure enough he did, ready to fight. He had a small control in his hand. "When I press this button it will be the end, the machine sends out a special radio wave which will damage every single processor in any gaming console." Rasta acted quickly and kicked it out his hand, Stryke tried as hard as he could to dismantle the machine but struggled. Ant picked up the control and ran away. Sheepy picked up a gun out of Strykes bag and fired it at Mr Microhard. "No sheepy, that's the water gun filled with vodka!" shouted Stryke, but it was too late, Sheepy had shot him in the face.
They all looked as the man fell to his knees, he looked up at Rasta, "eh..eh.. he is a robot!" shouted Rasta, the vodka had melted away his fake face to reveal his true identity, he was indeed a robot. Suddenly they heard a noise, they looked round to see a small midget running away with a controller in his hand. They gave chase and caught him, they held him upside down until he told them how to take the robot and machine apart, they then took the midget to the local prison where he now performs as a inmate circus clown to entertain the other prisoners.
So they had saved the world, finally put an end to the evil Microhard man and been given a tasty reward, all that was left now was to go get really drunk and get some strippers. A happy ending for all, except Stryke, he was really sick, due to drink and slept with Ant's sister Sally. Now Ant keeps referring to him as brother. Oh well life goes on.
The End - For good, no more drunks!
P.S Happy New Year
If this doesn't win GAD, i'll be mortified. It's great!
Best line: "I made these because I'm clever"
It's funny cos it's true! ;-)
I love it, Alan.
Best line: "I made these because I'm clever"
It's funny cos it's true! ;-)
I love it, Alan.
LOL!
* If you haven't read the previous drunk hero's story then you might want to read it before this one *
Since the last successful mission our drunken hero's have all left their jobs and started there own business where they attempt to rid the world of evil. It isn't easy but someone has to do it. For the first couple of years things were quiet, the odd job saving cats from trees or giving talks at schools about the effects of being evil. But suddenly things changed. The world became a much darker and sadder place. After defeating Microhard and their brainwashing consoles the world became peaceful again, that was up until now.
The Microhard boss had escaped from prison and had gone into hiding, where he was in the process of designing one of the most deadliest and just plain evil devices the world had ever seen.
In the pub the group who still hadn't decided on a name all sat round the table closest to the fire, various pieces of scrunched up paper lay in the fire burning away.
"I hate making plans!" blasted Stryke, he was frustrated at nobody helping.
"Lets just go bash him stupid with big sticks" said Rasta as he necked another pint. Ant lay on one of the sofa's, he had already drank too much and had passed out. The others in true comical fashion had stripped him of all his clothes and put everything back on back to front. A grunt came from the corner as Sheepy clambered back to his feet, that bottle of vodka made him a little tipsy and caused him to fall straight of his chair. He brushed the dirt of his kilt and sat back down.
"I have a plan", he said in his deep Scottish accent, "A damm fine plan like no others." The others looked round, waiting for the words to leave his mouth. "Emm well we phone the police and let them do it while we get drunk."
"You idiot" shouted Rasta, "the government are in on it so they can get a nice piece of the pie, a share of the takings."
As he spoke Ant got up and looked around, a look of shock on his face as he looked at his clothes, he was too drunk to work out what happened but he did like his new look. "Woo look, the ladies are gonna love me in this. I'm unique"
"You sure are" laughed Stryke.
They eventually noted down a few ideas and left the pub, Rasta and Stryke had to carry Ant as he couldn't, due to the copious amounts of alcohol he had drank, move his legs in the motion that allows him to walk. They headed back to the flat to crash before beginning the plan in the morning. The threw Ant on the old sofa in the back and made their way into the kitchen, there on the far wall in large red letters were the words "You will pay for this". Stryke hid under the breakfast bar, alcohol made him fear a lot of things. Rasta on the other hand became stupidly brave, he began shouting "Bring it on, I'll take you now punk."
Sheepy ran in "Way hey fight, yeah kick him in the groin!" after realising there was no fight Sheepy went back to bed, the others followed shortly after.
The morning sun broke through the gap in the curtains, Ant sat up, no hangover at all, he could here a grunting noise from the floor, It was Stryke, Ant kicked him lightly a few times to wake him up.
"My head hurts, do something Ant or I'll beat you stupid"
The two began shouting, ready to fight but Sheepy walked in. "Ladies put those handbags away." As he spoke a gorgeous blonde with legs that seemed to go up and up walked out of his room. Stryke and Ant looked in amazement as she kissed Sheepy and then left. "Err emm how do you do it Sheepy? Where did she come from, she wasn't here last night"
"No idea guys, guess you've got it or you don't. She just phones late last night to say she needed me, so she came round and well the rest is the same as usual." Said Sheepy as he went to look for Rasta.
It was time, they all left on bicycles and headed to the old factory were the rumour was that the Microhard boss was hiding. Pretty pants hiding place if you ask me but I don't care because it is my story.
They left their bikes chained to an old rusty pipe, Ant was keen to remove the tyres and seat to warn off potential thief's but Rasta was keen just to go in and get the job done. They all removed the dart guns from their belts, Stryke opened his rucksack and handed each of them a stink bomb and a smoke bomb. "I made these because I'm clever"
The place smelled like an old folks home, they could hear large machines at work. In the large main room there was a large silver machine and workers trying to operate it. A large voice spoke through the sound system. "I see you have arrived, prepare to witness the end! Guards get them and bring them to me."
A group of guards ran towards them, Sheepy took his bottle from his bag, lit a rag which he had carefully stuffed into the bottle neck. He threw it and it exploded and caught fire, the guards ran, screaming like little girls that had just been burned. Ant ran and picked up the guns which they had dropped. "Way hey hey, I got me a machine gun," more guards ran towards him, he began to shoot but the kickback knocked him back and through a wall. "That doesn't happen in time crisis!"
The others ran through the hole and armed themselves and got ready to fight, shots fired all around as Ant got a little trigger happy, he aimed at anything which moved and had quite a good shot. Soon a pile of guards, seagulls, and rats were lying at the end of the hall, "Damm it, that me beat" the voice on the speaker said. "Opps, left the button on, err I was lying!" it said before it was shut off. Stryke made his way to the machine, he read the manual, "Oh dear, he plans on killing gaming for good, RASTA, He is gonna kill GameCube and the others"
Rasta ran in, gun at the ready. "Come out and face me like a man"
Sure enough he did, ready to fight. He had a small control in his hand. "When I press this button it will be the end, the machine sends out a special radio wave which will damage every single processor in any gaming console." Rasta acted quickly and kicked it out his hand, Stryke tried as hard as he could to dismantle the machine but struggled. Ant picked up the control and ran away. Sheepy picked up a gun out of Strykes bag and fired it at Mr Microhard. "No sheepy, that's the water gun filled with vodka!" shouted Stryke, but it was too late, Sheepy had shot him in the face.
They all looked as the man fell to his knees, he looked up at Rasta, "eh..eh.. he is a robot!" shouted Rasta, the vodka had melted away his fake face to reveal his true identity, he was indeed a robot. Suddenly they heard a noise, they looked round to see a small midget running away with a controller in his hand. They gave chase and caught him, they held him upside down until he told them how to take the robot and machine apart, they then took the midget to the local prison where he now performs as a inmate circus clown to entertain the other prisoners.
So they had saved the world, finally put an end to the evil Microhard man and been given a tasty reward, all that was left now was to go get really drunk and get some strippers. A happy ending for all, except Stryke, he was really sick, due to drink and slept with Ant's sister Sally. Now Ant keeps referring to him as brother. Oh well life goes on.
The End - For good, no more drunks!
P.S Happy New Year
Since the last successful mission our drunken hero's have all left their jobs and started there own business where they attempt to rid the world of evil. It isn't easy but someone has to do it. For the first couple of years things were quiet, the odd job saving cats from trees or giving talks at schools about the effects of being evil. But suddenly things changed. The world became a much darker and sadder place. After defeating Microhard and their brainwashing consoles the world became peaceful again, that was up until now.
The Microhard boss had escaped from prison and had gone into hiding, where he was in the process of designing one of the most deadliest and just plain evil devices the world had ever seen.
In the pub the group who still hadn't decided on a name all sat round the table closest to the fire, various pieces of scrunched up paper lay in the fire burning away.
"I hate making plans!" blasted Stryke, he was frustrated at nobody helping.
"Lets just go bash him stupid with big sticks" said Rasta as he necked another pint. Ant lay on one of the sofa's, he had already drank too much and had passed out. The others in true comical fashion had stripped him of all his clothes and put everything back on back to front. A grunt came from the corner as Sheepy clambered back to his feet, that bottle of vodka made him a little tipsy and caused him to fall straight of his chair. He brushed the dirt of his kilt and sat back down.
"I have a plan", he said in his deep Scottish accent, "A damm fine plan like no others." The others looked round, waiting for the words to leave his mouth. "Emm well we phone the police and let them do it while we get drunk."
"You idiot" shouted Rasta, "the government are in on it so they can get a nice piece of the pie, a share of the takings."
As he spoke Ant got up and looked around, a look of shock on his face as he looked at his clothes, he was too drunk to work out what happened but he did like his new look. "Woo look, the ladies are gonna love me in this. I'm unique"
"You sure are" laughed Stryke.
They eventually noted down a few ideas and left the pub, Rasta and Stryke had to carry Ant as he couldn't, due to the copious amounts of alcohol he had drank, move his legs in the motion that allows him to walk. They headed back to the flat to crash before beginning the plan in the morning. The threw Ant on the old sofa in the back and made their way into the kitchen, there on the far wall in large red letters were the words "You will pay for this". Stryke hid under the breakfast bar, alcohol made him fear a lot of things. Rasta on the other hand became stupidly brave, he began shouting "Bring it on, I'll take you now punk."
Sheepy ran in "Way hey fight, yeah kick him in the groin!" after realising there was no fight Sheepy went back to bed, the others followed shortly after.
The morning sun broke through the gap in the curtains, Ant sat up, no hangover at all, he could here a grunting noise from the floor, It was Stryke, Ant kicked him lightly a few times to wake him up.
"My head hurts, do something Ant or I'll beat you stupid"
The two began shouting, ready to fight but Sheepy walked in. "Ladies put those handbags away." As he spoke a gorgeous blonde with legs that seemed to go up and up walked out of his room. Stryke and Ant looked in amazement as she kissed Sheepy and then left. "Err emm how do you do it Sheepy? Where did she come from, she wasn't here last night"
"No idea guys, guess you've got it or you don't. She just phones late last night to say she needed me, so she came round and well the rest is the same as usual." Said Sheepy as he went to look for Rasta.
It was time, they all left on bicycles and headed to the old factory were the rumour was that the Microhard boss was hiding. Pretty pants hiding place if you ask me but I don't care because it is my story.
They left their bikes chained to an old rusty pipe, Ant was keen to remove the tyres and seat to warn off potential thief's but Rasta was keen just to go in and get the job done. They all removed the dart guns from their belts, Stryke opened his rucksack and handed each of them a stink bomb and a smoke bomb. "I made these because I'm clever"
The place smelled like an old folks home, they could hear large machines at work. In the large main room there was a large silver machine and workers trying to operate it. A large voice spoke through the sound system. "I see you have arrived, prepare to witness the end! Guards get them and bring them to me."
A group of guards ran towards them, Sheepy took his bottle from his bag, lit a rag which he had carefully stuffed into the bottle neck. He threw it and it exploded and caught fire, the guards ran, screaming like little girls that had just been burned. Ant ran and picked up the guns which they had dropped. "Way hey hey, I got me a machine gun," more guards ran towards him, he began to shoot but the kickback knocked him back and through a wall. "That doesn't happen in time crisis!"
The others ran through the hole and armed themselves and got ready to fight, shots fired all around as Ant got a little trigger happy, he aimed at anything which moved and had quite a good shot. Soon a pile of guards, seagulls, and rats were lying at the end of the hall, "Damm it, that me beat" the voice on the speaker said. "Opps, left the button on, err I was lying!" it said before it was shut off. Stryke made his way to the machine, he read the manual, "Oh dear, he plans on killing gaming for good, RASTA, He is gonna kill GameCube and the others"
Rasta ran in, gun at the ready. "Come out and face me like a man"
Sure enough he did, ready to fight. He had a small control in his hand. "When I press this button it will be the end, the machine sends out a special radio wave which will damage every single processor in any gaming console." Rasta acted quickly and kicked it out his hand, Stryke tried as hard as he could to dismantle the machine but struggled. Ant picked up the control and ran away. Sheepy picked up a gun out of Strykes bag and fired it at Mr Microhard. "No sheepy, that's the water gun filled with vodka!" shouted Stryke, but it was too late, Sheepy had shot him in the face.
They all looked as the man fell to his knees, he looked up at Rasta, "eh..eh.. he is a robot!" shouted Rasta, the vodka had melted away his fake face to reveal his true identity, he was indeed a robot. Suddenly they heard a noise, they looked round to see a small midget running away with a controller in his hand. They gave chase and caught him, they held him upside down until he told them how to take the robot and machine apart, they then took the midget to the local prison where he now performs as a inmate circus clown to entertain the other prisoners.
So they had saved the world, finally put an end to the evil Microhard man and been given a tasty reward, all that was left now was to go get really drunk and get some strippers. A happy ending for all, except Stryke, he was really sick, due to drink and slept with Ant's sister Sally. Now Ant keeps referring to him as brother. Oh well life goes on.
The End - For good, no more drunks!
P.S Happy New Year