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We all know about the repetitive threads that keep on littering these forums. Ghastly spam, polluting minds, "EXBOCKS VERSAIS PLAYSTAYSHUN TOOW" they cry in what seems to be satire but ends up just being plain, boring old illiteracy. We're all tired with comparing consoles with eachother, and I think the world wold be a much better place if we compared them with everyday objects instead.
Gamecube being my console of choice (proud white parent of black Gamecube), and a spoon being my weapon of choice, I shall tell you, with strong language once and moderate sexual references as well as mild peril, of the everlasting argument: The Gamecube, versus the spoon.
Sex appeal:
Ok, I've heard it all before, "It looks like it stumbled out of a child's square bumbum", "It is a child in disguise... It's purple, like a child." and the occasional "The purple turns me on". The Gamecube's got a controversial image. Some herald it as a genius image, not following the crowd, a purple rebel, if you will. Others think it is just a child's ugly cube of childy games. Whether it's hot or not though, the fact is that it isn't actually a cube, as it has funny protruding bits, which make me giggle and feel all tingly inside. Whatever floats your boat though, the Gamecube has never been Miss America, therefore not being pretty, so Gamecube has failed in terms of attracting old ugly perverted men. There's always 2005 to look forward to I suppose (for old ugly perverted men that is).
I have never heard someone claim to find a spoon ugly. Arguably one of the finest designed objects in the world, a spoon can hold sugar without making it spill (unless you hold it upside down) and can also hold a reasonable sized testicle without evident strain. It is also silver and exquisitely chic. If there's something cooler looking then a spoon, I'd like to hear it. It shines mischievously in the light, awaiting whatever devious plan you have in store for it. Always willing, the spoon will never say no. It also acts as a concave/convex mirror, making your finger seem much fatter/thinner then it really is. It's like viewing yourself through an anorexic's eyes. I'm afraid the spoon is a gbillion times more cooler looking then the Gamecube.
Loading times:
Do you remember how N64 owners got really upset when Nintendo made the announcement of changing to cheaper and more efficient CDroms? I do. One of the key problems most people had, was that "It is going to have lording times (NOM told me so) and that will be bad because it will be a graystation". Nintendo were pestered by unruly youths into making a good piece of hardware, which made loading times incredibly short, shorter than a two year old's little finger. This made games run smooth. Scarily smooth, without cool loading screens, like Halo, or DOA Beach Volleyball. This enabled all Gamecube gamers to carry on insulting the Greystation and all subsidiarys. If the Gamecubers had nothing to feel secure over, then I'm sure they would all get panic attacks and resort to ODing on strepsils.
It turns out, that the spoon was invented loads and loads of years ago. Yet it seems that it was created with vastly superior technology, no loading times are evident, even between levels. The developers of the common spoon claim that they were just lucky, but it's streamlined design helps it get through those tough and thick textures in the most densely and cleverly designed of cakes. This delivers a fluid and speedy method of eating, and when you just can't stop bingeing, then the spoon will not make you. Though the Gamecube has small loading times, it is apparent that the experience delivered with a spoon is much more consistent, and I hear bingeing helps to stop your period cramps! Again, the spoon wins this round.
Games:
A fairly decent range, with fun platformers, such as SMS and Crash Bandicoot (bleugh) and quality shootemups, such as James Bond:Agent Under Fire, and James Bond: Agent Under Nightfire, it also has the best selection of Role Playing Games on the range of consoles, including ZooCube, and Ty the Tasmanian Tiger. Occasionaly it's been said that Gamecube is lacking developers, but the fact is, that I would rather play Ty the tasmanian tiger, over Morrowind anyday (It could happen). Gamecube isn't for childys, you stupid poopoo head, it's for those young at heart and those mentally challenged. Nintendo are all for helping people to understand about disabled people, with the heart warming game, Animal Crossing, in which you play as a retarded child learning how to be independant.
Have you ever wondered where fat chicks came from? So have I. I once asked my mother, she said that fat people were people who Jesus was angry with. For the majority of my life, I believed that this was true until I witnessed a Christian get horribly obese in the space of a couple of days. I realised that it was the fattening foods, which were being injected into her blood stream which made her fat. This though, is not the nicest way to get "Pleasingly Plump" or "Frabjoobily fat" and the spoon will help you along the path of self discovery, into the dark depths of diabetes. You can eat with a spoon in many different ways, whilst sitting up straight, slouching, lying down, and for the more adventurous, there's even a whole range of sexually pleasing methods, all which are found in the Torah "The smitiest book you've ever read". Again, it looks like the spoon's the winner.
Conclusion:
I suppose it isn't really fair to compare a mere Gamecube with the likes of such a heavyweight fan favourite as the spoon, but I suppose that I may have made you laugh. Which will have made ti all worthwhile.
Goodnight, and adieu.
Melancholy.
P.S: Dear an intervening God, please don't smite me for this mild blasphemy.
Gamecube being my console of choice (proud white parent of black Gamecube), and a spoon being my weapon of choice, I shall tell you, with strong language once and moderate sexual references as well as mild peril, of the everlasting argument: The Gamecube, versus the spoon.
Sex appeal:
Ok, I've heard it all before, "It looks like it stumbled out of a child's square bumbum", "It is a child in disguise... It's purple, like a child." and the occasional "The purple turns me on". The Gamecube's got a controversial image. Some herald it as a genius image, not following the crowd, a purple rebel, if you will. Others think it is just a child's ugly cube of childy games. Whether it's hot or not though, the fact is that it isn't actually a cube, as it has funny protruding bits, which make me giggle and feel all tingly inside. Whatever floats your boat though, the Gamecube has never been Miss America, therefore not being pretty, so Gamecube has failed in terms of attracting old ugly perverted men. There's always 2005 to look forward to I suppose (for old ugly perverted men that is).
I have never heard someone claim to find a spoon ugly. Arguably one of the finest designed objects in the world, a spoon can hold sugar without making it spill (unless you hold it upside down) and can also hold a reasonable sized testicle without evident strain. It is also silver and exquisitely chic. If there's something cooler looking then a spoon, I'd like to hear it. It shines mischievously in the light, awaiting whatever devious plan you have in store for it. Always willing, the spoon will never say no. It also acts as a concave/convex mirror, making your finger seem much fatter/thinner then it really is. It's like viewing yourself through an anorexic's eyes. I'm afraid the spoon is a gbillion times more cooler looking then the Gamecube.
Loading times:
Do you remember how N64 owners got really upset when Nintendo made the announcement of changing to cheaper and more efficient CDroms? I do. One of the key problems most people had, was that "It is going to have lording times (NOM told me so) and that will be bad because it will be a graystation". Nintendo were pestered by unruly youths into making a good piece of hardware, which made loading times incredibly short, shorter than a two year old's little finger. This made games run smooth. Scarily smooth, without cool loading screens, like Halo, or DOA Beach Volleyball. This enabled all Gamecube gamers to carry on insulting the Greystation and all subsidiarys. If the Gamecubers had nothing to feel secure over, then I'm sure they would all get panic attacks and resort to ODing on strepsils.
It turns out, that the spoon was invented loads and loads of years ago. Yet it seems that it was created with vastly superior technology, no loading times are evident, even between levels. The developers of the common spoon claim that they were just lucky, but it's streamlined design helps it get through those tough and thick textures in the most densely and cleverly designed of cakes. This delivers a fluid and speedy method of eating, and when you just can't stop bingeing, then the spoon will not make you. Though the Gamecube has small loading times, it is apparent that the experience delivered with a spoon is much more consistent, and I hear bingeing helps to stop your period cramps! Again, the spoon wins this round.
Games:
A fairly decent range, with fun platformers, such as SMS and Crash Bandicoot (bleugh) and quality shootemups, such as James Bond:Agent Under Fire, and James Bond: Agent Under Nightfire, it also has the best selection of Role Playing Games on the range of consoles, including ZooCube, and Ty the Tasmanian Tiger. Occasionaly it's been said that Gamecube is lacking developers, but the fact is, that I would rather play Ty the tasmanian tiger, over Morrowind anyday (It could happen). Gamecube isn't for childys, you stupid poopoo head, it's for those young at heart and those mentally challenged. Nintendo are all for helping people to understand about disabled people, with the heart warming game, Animal Crossing, in which you play as a retarded child learning how to be independant.
Have you ever wondered where fat chicks came from? So have I. I once asked my mother, she said that fat people were people who Jesus was angry with. For the majority of my life, I believed that this was true until I witnessed a Christian get horribly obese in the space of a couple of days. I realised that it was the fattening foods, which were being injected into her blood stream which made her fat. This though, is not the nicest way to get "Pleasingly Plump" or "Frabjoobily fat" and the spoon will help you along the path of self discovery, into the dark depths of diabetes. You can eat with a spoon in many different ways, whilst sitting up straight, slouching, lying down, and for the more adventurous, there's even a whole range of sexually pleasing methods, all which are found in the Torah "The smitiest book you've ever read". Again, it looks like the spoon's the winner.
Conclusion:
I suppose it isn't really fair to compare a mere Gamecube with the likes of such a heavyweight fan favourite as the spoon, but I suppose that I may have made you laugh. Which will have made ti all worthwhile.
Goodnight, and adieu.
Melancholy.
P.S: Dear an intervening God, please don't smite me for this mild blasphemy.
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spoon, heh. dont forget, you cant have an egg and cube race can you?
I am blessed with compliments.
Its funny
Testicles in spoons
*giggles to self*
Testicles in spoons
*giggles to self*
My Gamecube gave me a great rush when my ate my cereal with it. Much more awakening than Cornflakes, I was hyper all day. As if some sort of electrical current had travelled through me earlier.
The testicle shaped one.
Surely you know of what I speak.
Surely you know of what I speak.
What type of spoon is this? A childs one with pictures of teddys, an industrial spoon, a small tea spoon or a large caster sugar spoon. Oh and lets not forget the automated spoon.
It's interesting how much thought this post has provoked.
Ok, cocked that up well didn't I... Should have said:
The cube is definately best looking out of the three consoles, and is
my favourite as most will know.
But in the overall scheme of things I would rather have a Gamecube
than a spoon, as you can balance cookie crisp cereal on a fork
instead.
The cube is definately best looking out of the three consoles, and is
my favourite as most will know.
But in the overall scheme of things I would rather have a Gamecube
than a spoon, as you can balance cookie crisp cereal on a fork
instead.
The cube is definately best looking out of the three consoles, and is my favourite as most will know.
But in the overall scheme of things I would rather have a Gamecube than a GameCube, as you can balance cookie crisp cereal on a fork instead.
But in the overall scheme of things I would rather have a Gamecube than a GameCube, as you can balance cookie crisp cereal on a fork instead.
Ah but you must remember 'There is no spoon' great post!
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