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It’s official; seven out of ten chimps prefer video games over any other form of electrical home entertainment.
In a recent highly complex scientific study, scientists have conducted complex experiments on monkey behavioural patterns concerning modern technological equipment and home entertainment choices.
For the research, ten random chimps; Mr. Bobo, Chaz, Clyde, Chimpy, Sherlock, Herman, Kevin, Saddam, Desmond and Roger, were locked in a windowless room with a solitary light and a poster of Mr. T on the wall for company, and the hairy miscreants were then supplied with various pieces of hi-tech electrical equipment, including microwaves, toasters, mobile phones, TVs, CD players and video game consoles. The chimps were then left to their own devices for 24 hours, and researchers studied which gadgets they paid most attention to. Whilst many of the chimps enjoyed listening to Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass on the CD player until they got bored of the crazy trumpets, some also had their eyes glued to Enter the Dragon on the TV (not literally though, scientists are often cruel, but gluing monkey’s eyes to television sets is low even for them) and Mr. Bobo enjoyed behaving inappropriately with the toaster until he got a nasty burn. The video games consoles received the most attention from the primate subjects however, with seven out of the ten spending most of their time spellbound by Super Monkey Ball on the Gamecube. Ape Escape II on the Playstation 2 also garnered lots of attention from the simian subjects, and some even played on the Xbox, showing that monkeys show no favouritism towards console manufacturers.
The research has received a fair bit of criticism from the usual places, an angry purple-faced elderly person hollered, “Why do they feel the need to do research like this? Each year, governments around the world give billions of pounds to scientific research, it doesn’t matter how stupid, anything from how to stack oranges in the most space efficient way and how to make a perfect cup of tea, to the effects of over-exposure of TV on the canine brain, why buttered toast always lands butter-side down, and now what modern gadgets monkeys like to play with in their spare time. Its absurd and pointless research like this must be stopped. The taxpayer’s money is being frittered away on pointless rubbish! Do you think I fought in a World War for mankind’s freedoms just so that scientists could do pointless research like this? Get your hands off me agrh humph…”
Head researcher of the ‘primate entertainment research’, Andy Szizemakowski defended his teams’ research, claiming, “What if one day monkeys were to rise up and take over the world and take away our civil liberties huh. Have people ever thought about that? If they do, we’ll need to know what kind of electrical entertainment they enjoy so we can please our hairy would-be masters. This important research gives us a head start and is by no means a waste of taxpayer’s money, honest.
Now that we have identified that monkeys are keen games players, we can also use them to eliminate many of today’s video game related illnesses like Hand-Arm Vibration Syndrome, Nintendonitis, violent revenge etc, and they can teach us important moral lessons; the monkeys don’t care about what console is what, or which one is better, they don’t argue, they just get on and enjoy the games. A lesson to all the video game zealots I think. What humans do not know, monkeys can teach us.”
Although the research is claimed to be for scientific purposes only, animal rights campaigners aren’t so sure, “We say it’s cruel to force chimps to play video games, destroying their brain cells and impairing their vision, you’ve seen how most gamers are; pale-faced glazy-eyed zombies. I think it’s just them having a laugh by letting monkeys play video games and it’s a shocking indictment of what we call scientific research these days.”
An unnamed representative from the video games industry was full of praise for the research though, saying, “knowing that monkeys enjoy playing video games is great for the industry, I’m not sure how, but it must be good in some way. Everyone loves monkeys, and I guess it shows that games have a wide-ranging appeal, from older people to children to monkeys, people of all ages, intelligence and species can enjoy games, and that’s what makes them so great.”
The research was believed to be so successful, that there have been calls for even more monkey-based video games in the future, with a wide range of monkey games to appeal to all ages of human and species of monkey. Forget online gaming, the future of gaming belongs to monkeys, at least they won’t argue about which console is best all the time.
In a recent highly complex scientific study, scientists have conducted complex experiments on monkey behavioural patterns concerning modern technological equipment and home entertainment choices.
For the research, ten random chimps; Mr. Bobo, Chaz, Clyde, Chimpy, Sherlock, Herman, Kevin, Saddam, Desmond and Roger, were locked in a windowless room with a solitary light and a poster of Mr. T on the wall for company, and the hairy miscreants were then supplied with various pieces of hi-tech electrical equipment, including microwaves, toasters, mobile phones, TVs, CD players and video game consoles. The chimps were then left to their own devices for 24 hours, and researchers studied which gadgets they paid most attention to. Whilst many of the chimps enjoyed listening to Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass on the CD player until they got bored of the crazy trumpets, some also had their eyes glued to Enter the Dragon on the TV (not literally though, scientists are often cruel, but gluing monkey’s eyes to television sets is low even for them) and Mr. Bobo enjoyed behaving inappropriately with the toaster until he got a nasty burn. The video games consoles received the most attention from the primate subjects however, with seven out of the ten spending most of their time spellbound by Super Monkey Ball on the Gamecube. Ape Escape II on the Playstation 2 also garnered lots of attention from the simian subjects, and some even played on the Xbox, showing that monkeys show no favouritism towards console manufacturers.
The research has received a fair bit of criticism from the usual places, an angry purple-faced elderly person hollered, “Why do they feel the need to do research like this? Each year, governments around the world give billions of pounds to scientific research, it doesn’t matter how stupid, anything from how to stack oranges in the most space efficient way and how to make a perfect cup of tea, to the effects of over-exposure of TV on the canine brain, why buttered toast always lands butter-side down, and now what modern gadgets monkeys like to play with in their spare time. Its absurd and pointless research like this must be stopped. The taxpayer’s money is being frittered away on pointless rubbish! Do you think I fought in a World War for mankind’s freedoms just so that scientists could do pointless research like this? Get your hands off me agrh humph…”
Head researcher of the ‘primate entertainment research’, Andy Szizemakowski defended his teams’ research, claiming, “What if one day monkeys were to rise up and take over the world and take away our civil liberties huh. Have people ever thought about that? If they do, we’ll need to know what kind of electrical entertainment they enjoy so we can please our hairy would-be masters. This important research gives us a head start and is by no means a waste of taxpayer’s money, honest.
Now that we have identified that monkeys are keen games players, we can also use them to eliminate many of today’s video game related illnesses like Hand-Arm Vibration Syndrome, Nintendonitis, violent revenge etc, and they can teach us important moral lessons; the monkeys don’t care about what console is what, or which one is better, they don’t argue, they just get on and enjoy the games. A lesson to all the video game zealots I think. What humans do not know, monkeys can teach us.”
Although the research is claimed to be for scientific purposes only, animal rights campaigners aren’t so sure, “We say it’s cruel to force chimps to play video games, destroying their brain cells and impairing their vision, you’ve seen how most gamers are; pale-faced glazy-eyed zombies. I think it’s just them having a laugh by letting monkeys play video games and it’s a shocking indictment of what we call scientific research these days.”
An unnamed representative from the video games industry was full of praise for the research though, saying, “knowing that monkeys enjoy playing video games is great for the industry, I’m not sure how, but it must be good in some way. Everyone loves monkeys, and I guess it shows that games have a wide-ranging appeal, from older people to children to monkeys, people of all ages, intelligence and species can enjoy games, and that’s what makes them so great.”
The research was believed to be so successful, that there have been calls for even more monkey-based video games in the future, with a wide range of monkey games to appeal to all ages of human and species of monkey. Forget online gaming, the future of gaming belongs to monkeys, at least they won’t argue about which console is best all the time.
well there is Top score but who are the other 9?
UMMM me likey gamees tooo...
It’s official; seven out of ten chimps prefer video games over any other form of electrical home entertainment.
In a recent highly complex scientific study, scientists have conducted complex experiments on monkey behavioural patterns concerning modern technological equipment and home entertainment choices.
For the research, ten random chimps; Mr. Bobo, Chaz, Clyde, Chimpy, Sherlock, Herman, Kevin, Saddam, Desmond and Roger, were locked in a windowless room with a solitary light and a poster of Mr. T on the wall for company, and the hairy miscreants were then supplied with various pieces of hi-tech electrical equipment, including microwaves, toasters, mobile phones, TVs, CD players and video game consoles. The chimps were then left to their own devices for 24 hours, and researchers studied which gadgets they paid most attention to. Whilst many of the chimps enjoyed listening to Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass on the CD player until they got bored of the crazy trumpets, some also had their eyes glued to Enter the Dragon on the TV (not literally though, scientists are often cruel, but gluing monkey’s eyes to television sets is low even for them) and Mr. Bobo enjoyed behaving inappropriately with the toaster until he got a nasty burn. The video games consoles received the most attention from the primate subjects however, with seven out of the ten spending most of their time spellbound by Super Monkey Ball on the Gamecube. Ape Escape II on the Playstation 2 also garnered lots of attention from the simian subjects, and some even played on the Xbox, showing that monkeys show no favouritism towards console manufacturers.
The research has received a fair bit of criticism from the usual places, an angry purple-faced elderly person hollered, “Why do they feel the need to do research like this? Each year, governments around the world give billions of pounds to scientific research, it doesn’t matter how stupid, anything from how to stack oranges in the most space efficient way and how to make a perfect cup of tea, to the effects of over-exposure of TV on the canine brain, why buttered toast always lands butter-side down, and now what modern gadgets monkeys like to play with in their spare time. Its absurd and pointless research like this must be stopped. The taxpayer’s money is being frittered away on pointless rubbish! Do you think I fought in a World War for mankind’s freedoms just so that scientists could do pointless research like this? Get your hands off me agrh humph…”
Head researcher of the ‘primate entertainment research’, Andy Szizemakowski defended his teams’ research, claiming, “What if one day monkeys were to rise up and take over the world and take away our civil liberties huh. Have people ever thought about that? If they do, we’ll need to know what kind of electrical entertainment they enjoy so we can please our hairy would-be masters. This important research gives us a head start and is by no means a waste of taxpayer’s money, honest.
Now that we have identified that monkeys are keen games players, we can also use them to eliminate many of today’s video game related illnesses like Hand-Arm Vibration Syndrome, Nintendonitis, violent revenge etc, and they can teach us important moral lessons; the monkeys don’t care about what console is what, or which one is better, they don’t argue, they just get on and enjoy the games. A lesson to all the video game zealots I think. What humans do not know, monkeys can teach us.”
Although the research is claimed to be for scientific purposes only, animal rights campaigners aren’t so sure, “We say it’s cruel to force chimps to play video games, destroying their brain cells and impairing their vision, you’ve seen how most gamers are; pale-faced glazy-eyed zombies. I think it’s just them having a laugh by letting monkeys play video games and it’s a shocking indictment of what we call scientific research these days.”
An unnamed representative from the video games industry was full of praise for the research though, saying, “knowing that monkeys enjoy playing video games is great for the industry, I’m not sure how, but it must be good in some way. Everyone loves monkeys, and I guess it shows that games have a wide-ranging appeal, from older people to children to monkeys, people of all ages, intelligence and species can enjoy games, and that’s what makes them so great.”
The research was believed to be so successful, that there have been calls for even more monkey-based video games in the future, with a wide range of monkey games to appeal to all ages of human and species of monkey. Forget online gaming, the future of gaming belongs to monkeys, at least they won’t argue about which console is best all the time.
In a recent highly complex scientific study, scientists have conducted complex experiments on monkey behavioural patterns concerning modern technological equipment and home entertainment choices.
For the research, ten random chimps; Mr. Bobo, Chaz, Clyde, Chimpy, Sherlock, Herman, Kevin, Saddam, Desmond and Roger, were locked in a windowless room with a solitary light and a poster of Mr. T on the wall for company, and the hairy miscreants were then supplied with various pieces of hi-tech electrical equipment, including microwaves, toasters, mobile phones, TVs, CD players and video game consoles. The chimps were then left to their own devices for 24 hours, and researchers studied which gadgets they paid most attention to. Whilst many of the chimps enjoyed listening to Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass on the CD player until they got bored of the crazy trumpets, some also had their eyes glued to Enter the Dragon on the TV (not literally though, scientists are often cruel, but gluing monkey’s eyes to television sets is low even for them) and Mr. Bobo enjoyed behaving inappropriately with the toaster until he got a nasty burn. The video games consoles received the most attention from the primate subjects however, with seven out of the ten spending most of their time spellbound by Super Monkey Ball on the Gamecube. Ape Escape II on the Playstation 2 also garnered lots of attention from the simian subjects, and some even played on the Xbox, showing that monkeys show no favouritism towards console manufacturers.
The research has received a fair bit of criticism from the usual places, an angry purple-faced elderly person hollered, “Why do they feel the need to do research like this? Each year, governments around the world give billions of pounds to scientific research, it doesn’t matter how stupid, anything from how to stack oranges in the most space efficient way and how to make a perfect cup of tea, to the effects of over-exposure of TV on the canine brain, why buttered toast always lands butter-side down, and now what modern gadgets monkeys like to play with in their spare time. Its absurd and pointless research like this must be stopped. The taxpayer’s money is being frittered away on pointless rubbish! Do you think I fought in a World War for mankind’s freedoms just so that scientists could do pointless research like this? Get your hands off me agrh humph…”
Head researcher of the ‘primate entertainment research’, Andy Szizemakowski defended his teams’ research, claiming, “What if one day monkeys were to rise up and take over the world and take away our civil liberties huh. Have people ever thought about that? If they do, we’ll need to know what kind of electrical entertainment they enjoy so we can please our hairy would-be masters. This important research gives us a head start and is by no means a waste of taxpayer’s money, honest.
Now that we have identified that monkeys are keen games players, we can also use them to eliminate many of today’s video game related illnesses like Hand-Arm Vibration Syndrome, Nintendonitis, violent revenge etc, and they can teach us important moral lessons; the monkeys don’t care about what console is what, or which one is better, they don’t argue, they just get on and enjoy the games. A lesson to all the video game zealots I think. What humans do not know, monkeys can teach us.”
Although the research is claimed to be for scientific purposes only, animal rights campaigners aren’t so sure, “We say it’s cruel to force chimps to play video games, destroying their brain cells and impairing their vision, you’ve seen how most gamers are; pale-faced glazy-eyed zombies. I think it’s just them having a laugh by letting monkeys play video games and it’s a shocking indictment of what we call scientific research these days.”
An unnamed representative from the video games industry was full of praise for the research though, saying, “knowing that monkeys enjoy playing video games is great for the industry, I’m not sure how, but it must be good in some way. Everyone loves monkeys, and I guess it shows that games have a wide-ranging appeal, from older people to children to monkeys, people of all ages, intelligence and species can enjoy games, and that’s what makes them so great.”
The research was believed to be so successful, that there have been calls for even more monkey-based video games in the future, with a wide range of monkey games to appeal to all ages of human and species of monkey. Forget online gaming, the future of gaming belongs to monkeys, at least they won’t argue about which console is best all the time.