The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Eyes open. Light from curtains hurts eyes. Try to close curtains but am still chained to bed. Fall over and hit head on floor just like yesterday.
Scream
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
The one I call Daddy opens door. He unlocks chains and opens curtains all the way. I try to gauge his eyes out for letting light in, but he grabs my wrists and drags me downstairs.
Chained to the kitchen table. Daddy gives me a bowl with food in it. Milk. Coco-Pops. Me no want stinky Coco-Pops. I try to fling bowl on floor, but hands are restricted by chains.
Daddy spoons stinky Coco-Pops in my mouth and holds my mouth closed making me swallow. When all Coco-Pops gone, he cleans up bowl.
Now day is getting good. Chained to PS2 now. Lovely black box makes pretty pictures for me. Daddy has gone. His vroom vroom with "Lexus" written on it is gone from the driveway.
But I have vroom vroom too. Mine is smaller than Daddy's, but I love it. I roll it back and forth on the space where there used to be a bit of carpet. It is fun. I see Barbie in the corner. She's my girlfriend. We're going to get married. PS2 and pretty pictures will be best man and ushers.
I look out the window. Boy in house next door is playing with nasty GameCube. He's not chained to it like me and PS2, so PS2 is betta.
I play PS2 and look at pretty pictures until Daddy gets home. My Lexus is better than his because it's small and makes less noise. Daddy feeds me more food and won't let me spit it out.
Now chained back to bed. Daddy puts pills in my mouth to make me sleepy sleepy. Now I will be asleep, and PS2 will grow legs and come upstairs to hug me all night.
I am happy.
Scream
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
The one I call Daddy opens door. He unlocks chains and opens curtains all the way. I try to gauge his eyes out for letting light in, but he grabs my wrists and drags me downstairs.
Chained to the kitchen table. Daddy gives me a bowl with food in it. Milk. Coco-Pops. Me no want stinky Coco-Pops. I try to fling bowl on floor, but hands are restricted by chains.
Daddy spoons stinky Coco-Pops in my mouth and holds my mouth closed making me swallow. When all Coco-Pops gone, he cleans up bowl.
Now day is getting good. Chained to PS2 now. Lovely black box makes pretty pictures for me. Daddy has gone. His vroom vroom with "Lexus" written on it is gone from the driveway.
But I have vroom vroom too. Mine is smaller than Daddy's, but I love it. I roll it back and forth on the space where there used to be a bit of carpet. It is fun. I see Barbie in the corner. She's my girlfriend. We're going to get married. PS2 and pretty pictures will be best man and ushers.
I look out the window. Boy in house next door is playing with nasty GameCube. He's not chained to it like me and PS2, so PS2 is betta.
I play PS2 and look at pretty pictures until Daddy gets home. My Lexus is better than his because it's small and makes less noise. Daddy feeds me more food and won't let me spit it out.
Now chained back to bed. Daddy puts pills in my mouth to make me sleepy sleepy. Now I will be asleep, and PS2 will grow legs and come upstairs to hug me all night.
I am happy.
Insane Bartender wrote:
I see Barbie in the corner. She's my girlfriend.
> We're going to get married. PS2 and pretty pictures will be best man
> and ushers.
I thought that bit was funny :D.
You should have said "now daddy chain me to the high chair so I can have my din dins and daddy makes planes noises when he feeds me"
Top scores mother: "now top score it's past your bedtime get into bed"
Top score: "only if snuffy bunny kisses me good night"
I see Barbie in the corner. She's my girlfriend.
> We're going to get married. PS2 and pretty pictures will be best man
> and ushers.
I thought that bit was funny :D.
You should have said "now daddy chain me to the high chair so I can have my din dins and daddy makes planes noises when he feeds me"
Top scores mother: "now top score it's past your bedtime get into bed"
Top score: "only if snuffy bunny kisses me good night"
Mr Snaffleburger - Ah... how you remind me of my favourite MTV2 star.
Great post IB, and it dwarved Top Scores.
Great post IB, and it dwarved Top Scores.
Insane Bartender wrote:
> I may do a proper version of that sometime.
>
> The idea of comparing Top Score with Angus Thermopile is sheer genius.
> Nice one!
Heh heh! It would work and be an invigorating read!
> I may do a proper version of that sometime.
>
> The idea of comparing Top Score with Angus Thermopile is sheer genius.
> Nice one!
Heh heh! It would work and be an invigorating read!
Very funny. Do I gather that someone has been annoying? Haven't looked through the forum yet.
I may do a proper version of that sometime.
The idea of comparing Top Score with Angus Thermopile is sheer genius. Nice one!
The idea of comparing Top Score with Angus Thermopile is sheer genius. Nice one!
Heh heh!
"chained to the slats of the bed while my mum filled me with pain..."
Should have made an appearance somewhere.
Lol!
"chained to the slats of the bed while my mum filled me with pain..."
Should have made an appearance somewhere.
Lol!
Very good...
Like the first few lines!
Like the first few lines!
Eyes open. Light from curtains hurts eyes. Try to close curtains but am still chained to bed. Fall over and hit head on floor just like yesterday.
Scream
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
The one I call Daddy opens door. He unlocks chains and opens curtains all the way. I try to gauge his eyes out for letting light in, but he grabs my wrists and drags me downstairs.
Chained to the kitchen table. Daddy gives me a bowl with food in it. Milk. Coco-Pops. Me no want stinky Coco-Pops. I try to fling bowl on floor, but hands are restricted by chains.
Daddy spoons stinky Coco-Pops in my mouth and holds my mouth closed making me swallow. When all Coco-Pops gone, he cleans up bowl.
Now day is getting good. Chained to PS2 now. Lovely black box makes pretty pictures for me. Daddy has gone. His vroom vroom with "Lexus" written on it is gone from the driveway.
But I have vroom vroom too. Mine is smaller than Daddy's, but I love it. I roll it back and forth on the space where there used to be a bit of carpet. It is fun. I see Barbie in the corner. She's my girlfriend. We're going to get married. PS2 and pretty pictures will be best man and ushers.
I look out the window. Boy in house next door is playing with nasty GameCube. He's not chained to it like me and PS2, so PS2 is betta.
I play PS2 and look at pretty pictures until Daddy gets home. My Lexus is better than his because it's small and makes less noise. Daddy feeds me more food and won't let me spit it out.
Now chained back to bed. Daddy puts pills in my mouth to make me sleepy sleepy. Now I will be asleep, and PS2 will grow legs and come upstairs to hug me all night.
I am happy.
Scream
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
The one I call Daddy opens door. He unlocks chains and opens curtains all the way. I try to gauge his eyes out for letting light in, but he grabs my wrists and drags me downstairs.
Chained to the kitchen table. Daddy gives me a bowl with food in it. Milk. Coco-Pops. Me no want stinky Coco-Pops. I try to fling bowl on floor, but hands are restricted by chains.
Daddy spoons stinky Coco-Pops in my mouth and holds my mouth closed making me swallow. When all Coco-Pops gone, he cleans up bowl.
Now day is getting good. Chained to PS2 now. Lovely black box makes pretty pictures for me. Daddy has gone. His vroom vroom with "Lexus" written on it is gone from the driveway.
But I have vroom vroom too. Mine is smaller than Daddy's, but I love it. I roll it back and forth on the space where there used to be a bit of carpet. It is fun. I see Barbie in the corner. She's my girlfriend. We're going to get married. PS2 and pretty pictures will be best man and ushers.
I look out the window. Boy in house next door is playing with nasty GameCube. He's not chained to it like me and PS2, so PS2 is betta.
I play PS2 and look at pretty pictures until Daddy gets home. My Lexus is better than his because it's small and makes less noise. Daddy feeds me more food and won't let me spit it out.
Now chained back to bed. Daddy puts pills in my mouth to make me sleepy sleepy. Now I will be asleep, and PS2 will grow legs and come upstairs to hug me all night.
I am happy.