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"Nintendo's links to the past"

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Tue 04/03/03 at 17:25
Regular
Posts: 787
The year is 2029 (Popular date for some reason…). After many years (about 27 actually) of intense competition, Nintendo came out top. Both SONY and MS were losing money on each console sold, whereas Ninty actually made a profit (Which coincidentally came in handy when the, er, ‘Next Next Generation’ consoles were released.) After extensive research, Nintendo were able to produce a time machine, capable of travelling through time (No surprise there, then.) Their vision for the future? Shape the past, Nintendo style.

First Human life

As Satoru Iwata stepped out of the time machine, the world back then was strange. Lack of electricity made Satoru scared. “Noh Nintendoh makes Satoru shiver” said he. Satoru, with added NES, walked through the strange landscape, pondering what kind of creature left that crap the size his head. Mammoth, perhaps. After a while, he spotted what he came for: one of the first humans. Approaching the naked monkey man, he replaced the fig leaf covering his worldly possessions with a NES, and then baggered off again.

Back in modern times, whilst exploring some caves in South America, Barry Strong noticed something odd. In cave paintings, humans had NES’ between their legs. According to the paintings, early man had been given the knowledge of how to kill enemies by jumping on their heads (ala Mario) which made survival easier. Nintendo saves the day, then.


Satoru clambered back into the time machine, and nipped forward a couple of thousand years. Arriving in ancient Rome, he stepped out, armed with his trousers and a Game Boy, and proceeded to find Julius Cesar.

Amazed by the strange architecture, Mr. Iwata jotted some ideas down for future use in level design. Upon finding Cesar, conveniently just before he was stabbed, he replaced the knife with the Game Boy, and headed off back to the time machine.


Back in present day, while studying Roman History for A Level, Afro McJoe began revising over his notes:

"Julius Cesar was then surrounded by 10 men, each wanting a go at Tetris"

Another job done, Satoru Iwata headed through time yet again, arriving in Victorian times. This time, not only did he have a SNES, but he also had an N64 and a GBA. They were all destined for one man- Thomas Edison. Surely he's someone who deserves to have a little fun after inventing the light bulb?

Again, back in modern times (Ie. 2029) a museum worker was polishing the exhibits.

"Not bad for someone who invented the light bulb, the metal detector and recorded sound for the first time. Oh, and those consoles were more technologically advanced than early computers. Bloody smart, he was."

Laughing at how the future would change, he clambered back in and traveled to 1916, where he landed on the western front in France. Supplying a soldier with a GBA SP and a GC, he chuckled and headed for the river of time.


In 2029 though, the Great-Great-Great-granddaughter of Wilfred Sassoon (Poor, yes, I know… :D) was reading over some of the letters he distant relation sent back home. One read:


Dear Mother,

God is on our side. Before I could not see anything at night, we'd be pelted and people would be shot, but we could not help as it was so dark. He sent a Japanese angle with glasses and a mop-like hair cut and gave us a light-source. We now have the upper-edge over Fritz

Your loving son

Wilfred Sassoon

(P.S. He also gave me a purple box; looks like it could be for comms.)


As he was heading back home, Satoru couldn't resist the urge. He landed back in 1955, October 28th to be precise, and witnessed the birth of baby-Gates. Making sure not to alter history too much (Not that it mattered now, anyway) he slipped a Nintendo T-shirt onto him, and left.


Back in the present day, Satoru got off the machine and headed back to Ninty HQ, where he found Head of Marketing, Bill Gates.

He couldn't help but laugh at the situation.

Thanks for reading

A Somewhat crazy Microchips
Tue 04/03/03 at 20:57
Regular
"previously phuzzy."
Posts: 3,487
Mexcellent post there, Meester Chips.

A mad mind, you possess.
Tue 04/03/03 at 20:15
Regular
"Jog on, sunshine"
Posts: 8,979
Heh, magic. Why is my brain stuck in the past?

*Must remember it's 2003*
Tue 04/03/03 at 20:12
Regular
"Must be Parkinson's"
Posts: 1,471
You wrote this in 2002 I take it, 27 years later. Because now, that would make it 2030, silly.
Tue 04/03/03 at 19:37
Regular
"Jog on, sunshine"
Posts: 8,979
Thanks ye.


It's called using lunchtimes at school and emailing stuff home.

Not bad, really.
Tue 04/03/03 at 17:54
Regular
"bit of a brain"
Posts: 18,933
Ha, genius. As I knew it would be.
Where do you find the time to write such things?
Ridiculous.
Tue 04/03/03 at 17:27
Regular
"Jog on, sunshine"
Posts: 8,979
*Japanese Angel, not angle.

:D
Tue 04/03/03 at 17:25
Regular
"Jog on, sunshine"
Posts: 8,979
The year is 2029 (Popular date for some reason…). After many years (about 27 actually) of intense competition, Nintendo came out top. Both SONY and MS were losing money on each console sold, whereas Ninty actually made a profit (Which coincidentally came in handy when the, er, ‘Next Next Generation’ consoles were released.) After extensive research, Nintendo were able to produce a time machine, capable of travelling through time (No surprise there, then.) Their vision for the future? Shape the past, Nintendo style.

First Human life

As Satoru Iwata stepped out of the time machine, the world back then was strange. Lack of electricity made Satoru scared. “Noh Nintendoh makes Satoru shiver” said he. Satoru, with added NES, walked through the strange landscape, pondering what kind of creature left that crap the size his head. Mammoth, perhaps. After a while, he spotted what he came for: one of the first humans. Approaching the naked monkey man, he replaced the fig leaf covering his worldly possessions with a NES, and then baggered off again.

Back in modern times, whilst exploring some caves in South America, Barry Strong noticed something odd. In cave paintings, humans had NES’ between their legs. According to the paintings, early man had been given the knowledge of how to kill enemies by jumping on their heads (ala Mario) which made survival easier. Nintendo saves the day, then.


Satoru clambered back into the time machine, and nipped forward a couple of thousand years. Arriving in ancient Rome, he stepped out, armed with his trousers and a Game Boy, and proceeded to find Julius Cesar.

Amazed by the strange architecture, Mr. Iwata jotted some ideas down for future use in level design. Upon finding Cesar, conveniently just before he was stabbed, he replaced the knife with the Game Boy, and headed off back to the time machine.


Back in present day, while studying Roman History for A Level, Afro McJoe began revising over his notes:

"Julius Cesar was then surrounded by 10 men, each wanting a go at Tetris"

Another job done, Satoru Iwata headed through time yet again, arriving in Victorian times. This time, not only did he have a SNES, but he also had an N64 and a GBA. They were all destined for one man- Thomas Edison. Surely he's someone who deserves to have a little fun after inventing the light bulb?

Again, back in modern times (Ie. 2029) a museum worker was polishing the exhibits.

"Not bad for someone who invented the light bulb, the metal detector and recorded sound for the first time. Oh, and those consoles were more technologically advanced than early computers. Bloody smart, he was."

Laughing at how the future would change, he clambered back in and traveled to 1916, where he landed on the western front in France. Supplying a soldier with a GBA SP and a GC, he chuckled and headed for the river of time.


In 2029 though, the Great-Great-Great-granddaughter of Wilfred Sassoon (Poor, yes, I know… :D) was reading over some of the letters he distant relation sent back home. One read:


Dear Mother,

God is on our side. Before I could not see anything at night, we'd be pelted and people would be shot, but we could not help as it was so dark. He sent a Japanese angle with glasses and a mop-like hair cut and gave us a light-source. We now have the upper-edge over Fritz

Your loving son

Wilfred Sassoon

(P.S. He also gave me a purple box; looks like it could be for comms.)


As he was heading back home, Satoru couldn't resist the urge. He landed back in 1955, October 28th to be precise, and witnessed the birth of baby-Gates. Making sure not to alter history too much (Not that it mattered now, anyway) he slipped a Nintendo T-shirt onto him, and left.


Back in the present day, Satoru got off the machine and headed back to Ninty HQ, where he found Head of Marketing, Bill Gates.

He couldn't help but laugh at the situation.

Thanks for reading

A Somewhat crazy Microchips

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