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This is my first story I’ve done on SR. Not really sure how it’s going to be set out or anything, I’m just going to write it as it comes into my head. Hope you enjoy.
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
Once lived a man called Kingklik, who’s only calling in life was to find the power of the holy GAD. He lay in his bed, eyes open, all night thinking of the holy power of such a force. He had many plans to receive this holy power for himself, but he failed a numerous amount of times. He could sit for hours on end trying to find out where it could be and how to reach it. But eventually he found a way…
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
“James! James!” RiCkOsS called.
“I have come an almighty conclusion!”
“And what would that be?” Replied a rather tired Kingklik as he rose from his bed rubbing his grainy eyes.
“I am actually a notable!” RiCkOsS exclaimed “Look at the facts! Number one; I’m gold!”
“Errr, no you’re not RiCkOsS. You’re purple” Kingklik said very ‘a matter a fact’ like.
“D’OH!” RiCkOsS cursed “Ahhh, but number two; under my name it says notable!”
“RiCkOsS, that says regular”
“D’OH!” RiCkOsS cursed once more “But, James, my friend, I have a third reason that will prove without a doubt that I’m a notable. I went to the local newsagents and asked if I could buy Triple X weekly and the shop keeper replied “You are notable””
“RiCkOsS, she meant you are NOT ABLE” Kingklik exclaimed shortly before yawning.
“D’OH!” RiCkOsS cursed before going down the stairs grumbling “Need some coffee”
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
After a while Kingklik finally got up. He went into the bathroom to brush his gums and wash his pincers and shell. After getting ready and washing all his pincers (Which took about ½ hour) he scuttled down stairs.
Twain who was munching on some cereal looked at Kingklik in a very funny way. “Why..” Twain began but was abruptly interrupted by RiCkOsS saying “It’s Wednesdays, remember, that’s why we have a Nintendo genius in the house on Thursdays and a pregnant women in the house on Sundays. It’s James’ many identities”
“A good morning to you too!” Kingklik moaned. “Oh and RiCkOsS, I thought we agreed it would be better if nobody found out about that pregnant women thing?” Kingklik exclaimed in a whisper
“Oh yeh, sorry about that, anyway it’s only Twain, he’s not going to say anything.” RiCkOsS replied.
Kingklik shook his head and began to say something probably very pointless. “I have thought up a way to find the holy GAD, it has taken some time for my crustation brain to get round, but as Shigsy I thought up an ingenious plan!”
RiCkOsS let out a big sigh (Twain let out something else but we won’t talk about that) “Twain! That stinks!” RiCkOsS screamed “Anyway, what is this ‘Ingenious’ idea then James?” RiCkOsS said quite bored.
“What we do is” Twain lets another out and everyone stares at him “Twain, go to bathroom! This is important!” Kingklik yells “Anyway, this brilliant plan, yes. What we do is, find a map with an X on it, and follow it” Kingklik stares at RiCkOsS wide eyed waiting for an answer.
“Well, errr, have you got a map?” RiCkOsS replied rather confused.
“Well, no, not really...” Kingklik began, but suddenly MJ appeared at the door covered in blood.
“Where have you been MJ?” RiCkOsS asked.
“Where do you think, Tactical ops. We won, but I got shot in both my arms four times. Now I can’t even have a….. cup of tea” MJ exclaimed.
“Oh, well, well done, I suppose” RiCkOsS replied.
“All I got was this map with a cross on it.” MJ said.
“How convenient” Kingklik said in a very wooden voice. “That is exactly what I need” Kingklik said again in a wooden voice.
“Here, you can have it mate, it isn’t going to come to mush for me” MJ said before handing to Kingklik with his teeth.
“Oh my god we have to cross over the red sea!” Kingklik yelled looking very surprised as MJ tried to close the door with his limp arms.
“No you don’t that’s just my blood” MJ exclaimed
“Oh…” Kingklik replied looking rather disappointed.
“We must search for this cross! Who’s with me?” Kingklik declares in a very leadership kind of a way.
“Spose, yeah” RiCkOsS replies with boredom in his voice.
“Ehh, have you got any spare arms?” MJ asked.
Kingklik rips off two of his huge pincers. “There you go” Kingklik said as he passed the pincers to MJ.
“Thanks, I might as well go now then” MJ exclaimed.
Slik slowly walks down the stairs.
“Have you been in bed all this time?” Kingklik asked.
“NO! I got up at 7!” slik exclaimed.
“Well what have you been doing since then?” Kingklik asked.
“I’ve been doing my hair! Hence the name!” slik said.
A rather flatulent noise came from the bathroom. “I think Twain wants to come. Actually he’d better not, it’s smells enough in here.”
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
After the brave four set off on the trail of the Holy GAD, they decided to split up. Why? Because it was in the script.
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
THE TALE OF SIR MJ AND SIR SLIK
Sir MJ and Sir slik had the job searching for the holy GAD with a very convenient 2nd map, which slik had (Best read woodenly).
“Hang on, do we have to cross a river?” MJ asked.
“Oops, no we don’t that’s just my gel.” slik replies “We need to cross over a desert though.” Slik exclaimed happily.
MJ and slik walk for miles and miles, but come across nothing and when it looks like all is lost the faint chant of a tomahawk can be heard in the distance. Suddenly, out of nowhere out jumps a native tomahawk! Both slick and MJ jump and scream like women (Well wouldn’t you if you saw Indian-Dude!), yes, it was Indian-Dude.
“Hi” Indian-Dude said rather nicely.
“Oh, so you’re not going to try and kill any of us?” MJ asked.
“No, not yet” Indian-Dude said happily. “So, what are doing around here then?” Indian-Dude asked.
“We’re looking for the holy GAD” Both MJ and slik said at the same time.
“What!? You’re looking for the holy GAD!? I can’t let you do that!” Indian-Dude exclaimed and with his immense strength picked one of the feathers off his hat (At a struggle) and viciously started to tickle MJ and slik.
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
Eventually slik and MJ got bored and went to the pub for a brave beer.
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
THE TALE OF SIR KINGKLIK AND SIR RICKOSS
“James, on the map it says we must venture through the toughest of forest’s.” RiCkOsS exclaimed.
“Well we’d better start going, hadn’t we?” Kingklik said.
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
Sir RiCkOsS and Sir Kingklik ventured deep into forest, falling over several times and ending up both breaking their noses. They came across traps and ravenous animals such as bears and squirrels. But they overcame the traps, killed the bears and ran away from the squrriels.
“It was big okay!” RiCkOsS said to Kingklik. “Big teeth, big claws and a big…. Nose!”
“RiCkOsS, you’ve got the map, how big is the forest? We’ve been walking for hours.” Kingklik asked.
“Oh yeah, about the map, I kind of ate it…” RiCkOsS murmured.
“What, how are we going to find the holy GAD?!” Kingklik moaned.
“Ask the first person we see…” RiCkOsS said.
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
After more and more walking Sir RiCkOsS and Sir Kingklik hear something in the distance.
“Bravely bold Sir Robin, brought fourth from Camelot. He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp. Or to have his eyes gauged out and his elbows broken. To have his knee caps split and his body burnt away. And his limbs all hacked and mangled brave Sir Robin…”
“Ehh, hello, Robin, you wouldn’t happen to know where we could find a holy GAD, would you?” RiCkOsS asked cautiously.
“Well, yes actually just keep going over that way and you’ll find the secret of the holy GAD…” Robin said while pointing in the direction he came from. “Oh yeah and you wouldn’t happen to have seen a holt grail would you, so tall, quite shiny?” Robin asked.
“Sorry mate, I haven’t” Kingklik said.
“Oh, and could you be a mate bring my minstrels with you?” Robin asked.
“Sure, you helped me” Kingklik replied.
Kingklik and RiCkOsS set off in the way Robin pointed followed by his minstrels. “Bravely bold Sir Kingklik brought fourth from SR towers.
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
After a while, RiCkOsS and Kingklik came to the end of the forest and (Thankfully) lost the minstrels. They came to a giant building called ‘The notables GAD attempts drafts’.
“There it is, RiCkOsS!” Kingklik yelled.
“I can see that, but it’s guarded!” RiCkOsS exclaimed, and he was right, SHEEPY and RastaBillySkank were guarding the door.
“That’ll be easy” Kingklik exclaims.
Kingklik whispered something into RiCkOsS’ ear and then Kingklik got out a winegum and threw it into a near by river. Rasta suddenly dived into the river and was not seen again.
RiCkOsS walks past SHEEPY saying “Free beer! Get your free beer here!” As SHEEPY walked over to RiCkOsS, Kingklik ran into a room full of floppy disk’s, it was heaven…
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
Kingklik eventually won a GAD and the only other thing he had to worry about was his GAD expiring before they got GameCube games on the database.
Slik and MJ lived happily up to this, drinking pint, by pint.
Twain now lives in the bathroom and never comes out except when he needs food.
RiCkOsS dies in a freak accident.
THE END
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
Hope you enjoyed. All the insults in that story were for advertising purposes only, please don’t sue.
RiCkOsS
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
Once lived a man called Kingklik, who’s only calling in life was to find the power of the holy GAD. He lay in his bed, eyes open, all night thinking of the holy power of such a force. He had many plans to receive this holy power for himself, but he failed a numerous amount of times. He could sit for hours on end trying to find out where it could be and how to reach it. But eventually he found a way…
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
“James! James!” RiCkOsS called.
“I have come an almighty conclusion!”
“And what would that be?” Replied a rather tired Kingklik as he rose from his bed rubbing his grainy eyes.
“I am actually a notable!” RiCkOsS exclaimed “Look at the facts! Number one; I’m gold!”
“Errr, no you’re not RiCkOsS. You’re purple” Kingklik said very ‘a matter a fact’ like.
“D’OH!” RiCkOsS cursed “Ahhh, but number two; under my name it says notable!”
“RiCkOsS, that says regular”
“D’OH!” RiCkOsS cursed once more “But, James, my friend, I have a third reason that will prove without a doubt that I’m a notable. I went to the local newsagents and asked if I could buy Triple X weekly and the shop keeper replied “You are notable””
“RiCkOsS, she meant you are NOT ABLE” Kingklik exclaimed shortly before yawning.
“D’OH!” RiCkOsS cursed before going down the stairs grumbling “Need some coffee”
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
After a while Kingklik finally got up. He went into the bathroom to brush his gums and wash his pincers and shell. After getting ready and washing all his pincers (Which took about ½ hour) he scuttled down stairs.
Twain who was munching on some cereal looked at Kingklik in a very funny way. “Why..” Twain began but was abruptly interrupted by RiCkOsS saying “It’s Wednesdays, remember, that’s why we have a Nintendo genius in the house on Thursdays and a pregnant women in the house on Sundays. It’s James’ many identities”
“A good morning to you too!” Kingklik moaned. “Oh and RiCkOsS, I thought we agreed it would be better if nobody found out about that pregnant women thing?” Kingklik exclaimed in a whisper
“Oh yeh, sorry about that, anyway it’s only Twain, he’s not going to say anything.” RiCkOsS replied.
Kingklik shook his head and began to say something probably very pointless. “I have thought up a way to find the holy GAD, it has taken some time for my crustation brain to get round, but as Shigsy I thought up an ingenious plan!”
RiCkOsS let out a big sigh (Twain let out something else but we won’t talk about that) “Twain! That stinks!” RiCkOsS screamed “Anyway, what is this ‘Ingenious’ idea then James?” RiCkOsS said quite bored.
“What we do is” Twain lets another out and everyone stares at him “Twain, go to bathroom! This is important!” Kingklik yells “Anyway, this brilliant plan, yes. What we do is, find a map with an X on it, and follow it” Kingklik stares at RiCkOsS wide eyed waiting for an answer.
“Well, errr, have you got a map?” RiCkOsS replied rather confused.
“Well, no, not really...” Kingklik began, but suddenly MJ appeared at the door covered in blood.
“Where have you been MJ?” RiCkOsS asked.
“Where do you think, Tactical ops. We won, but I got shot in both my arms four times. Now I can’t even have a….. cup of tea” MJ exclaimed.
“Oh, well, well done, I suppose” RiCkOsS replied.
“All I got was this map with a cross on it.” MJ said.
“How convenient” Kingklik said in a very wooden voice. “That is exactly what I need” Kingklik said again in a wooden voice.
“Here, you can have it mate, it isn’t going to come to mush for me” MJ said before handing to Kingklik with his teeth.
“Oh my god we have to cross over the red sea!” Kingklik yelled looking very surprised as MJ tried to close the door with his limp arms.
“No you don’t that’s just my blood” MJ exclaimed
“Oh…” Kingklik replied looking rather disappointed.
“We must search for this cross! Who’s with me?” Kingklik declares in a very leadership kind of a way.
“Spose, yeah” RiCkOsS replies with boredom in his voice.
“Ehh, have you got any spare arms?” MJ asked.
Kingklik rips off two of his huge pincers. “There you go” Kingklik said as he passed the pincers to MJ.
“Thanks, I might as well go now then” MJ exclaimed.
Slik slowly walks down the stairs.
“Have you been in bed all this time?” Kingklik asked.
“NO! I got up at 7!” slik exclaimed.
“Well what have you been doing since then?” Kingklik asked.
“I’ve been doing my hair! Hence the name!” slik said.
A rather flatulent noise came from the bathroom. “I think Twain wants to come. Actually he’d better not, it’s smells enough in here.”
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
After the brave four set off on the trail of the Holy GAD, they decided to split up. Why? Because it was in the script.
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
THE TALE OF SIR MJ AND SIR SLIK
Sir MJ and Sir slik had the job searching for the holy GAD with a very convenient 2nd map, which slik had (Best read woodenly).
“Hang on, do we have to cross a river?” MJ asked.
“Oops, no we don’t that’s just my gel.” slik replies “We need to cross over a desert though.” Slik exclaimed happily.
MJ and slik walk for miles and miles, but come across nothing and when it looks like all is lost the faint chant of a tomahawk can be heard in the distance. Suddenly, out of nowhere out jumps a native tomahawk! Both slick and MJ jump and scream like women (Well wouldn’t you if you saw Indian-Dude!), yes, it was Indian-Dude.
“Hi” Indian-Dude said rather nicely.
“Oh, so you’re not going to try and kill any of us?” MJ asked.
“No, not yet” Indian-Dude said happily. “So, what are doing around here then?” Indian-Dude asked.
“We’re looking for the holy GAD” Both MJ and slik said at the same time.
“What!? You’re looking for the holy GAD!? I can’t let you do that!” Indian-Dude exclaimed and with his immense strength picked one of the feathers off his hat (At a struggle) and viciously started to tickle MJ and slik.
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
Eventually slik and MJ got bored and went to the pub for a brave beer.
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
THE TALE OF SIR KINGKLIK AND SIR RICKOSS
“James, on the map it says we must venture through the toughest of forest’s.” RiCkOsS exclaimed.
“Well we’d better start going, hadn’t we?” Kingklik said.
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
Sir RiCkOsS and Sir Kingklik ventured deep into forest, falling over several times and ending up both breaking their noses. They came across traps and ravenous animals such as bears and squirrels. But they overcame the traps, killed the bears and ran away from the squrriels.
“It was big okay!” RiCkOsS said to Kingklik. “Big teeth, big claws and a big…. Nose!”
“RiCkOsS, you’ve got the map, how big is the forest? We’ve been walking for hours.” Kingklik asked.
“Oh yeah, about the map, I kind of ate it…” RiCkOsS murmured.
“What, how are we going to find the holy GAD?!” Kingklik moaned.
“Ask the first person we see…” RiCkOsS said.
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
After more and more walking Sir RiCkOsS and Sir Kingklik hear something in the distance.
“Bravely bold Sir Robin, brought fourth from Camelot. He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp. Or to have his eyes gauged out and his elbows broken. To have his knee caps split and his body burnt away. And his limbs all hacked and mangled brave Sir Robin…”
“Ehh, hello, Robin, you wouldn’t happen to know where we could find a holy GAD, would you?” RiCkOsS asked cautiously.
“Well, yes actually just keep going over that way and you’ll find the secret of the holy GAD…” Robin said while pointing in the direction he came from. “Oh yeah and you wouldn’t happen to have seen a holt grail would you, so tall, quite shiny?” Robin asked.
“Sorry mate, I haven’t” Kingklik said.
“Oh, and could you be a mate bring my minstrels with you?” Robin asked.
“Sure, you helped me” Kingklik replied.
Kingklik and RiCkOsS set off in the way Robin pointed followed by his minstrels. “Bravely bold Sir Kingklik brought fourth from SR towers.
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
After a while, RiCkOsS and Kingklik came to the end of the forest and (Thankfully) lost the minstrels. They came to a giant building called ‘The notables GAD attempts drafts’.
“There it is, RiCkOsS!” Kingklik yelled.
“I can see that, but it’s guarded!” RiCkOsS exclaimed, and he was right, SHEEPY and RastaBillySkank were guarding the door.
“That’ll be easy” Kingklik exclaims.
Kingklik whispered something into RiCkOsS’ ear and then Kingklik got out a winegum and threw it into a near by river. Rasta suddenly dived into the river and was not seen again.
RiCkOsS walks past SHEEPY saying “Free beer! Get your free beer here!” As SHEEPY walked over to RiCkOsS, Kingklik ran into a room full of floppy disk’s, it was heaven…
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
Kingklik eventually won a GAD and the only other thing he had to worry about was his GAD expiring before they got GameCube games on the database.
Slik and MJ lived happily up to this, drinking pint, by pint.
Twain now lives in the bathroom and never comes out except when he needs food.
RiCkOsS dies in a freak accident.
THE END
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
Hope you enjoyed. All the insults in that story were for advertising purposes only, please don’t sue.
RiCkOsS
Page:
Good story Rickoss, it might win GAD when they finally get round to picking them
As Afro said, These stories are getting fashionable. Nice and funny, well done Rickoss. I think i might do one sometime.
I hope everyone liked my story because i'm already working on my second one. ;) The Life of RiCkOsS
I already have Sibs ;)
heh heh! That is very funny, and very good for a first story! I liked Twain having flatulence! And 'We killed the bears, and ran away from the squirrels'!
he he! Good story mate. You should post it in the story forum too if you haven't already.
he he! Good story mate. You should post it in the story forum too if you haven't already.
nice story mate
great story! include me in your next one lol.
slik ~_~
slik ~_~
P.O.P.
S.T.R.A.I.G.H.T.
T.O.
T.H.E.
T.O.P. :)
S.T.R.A.I.G.H.T.
T.O.
T.H.E.
T.O.P. :)
great story rickoss. especially if its your first!!!!!
AfroJoe wrote:
> Great story Rickoss. It seems to be getting fashionable to write stories now. I
> have done a few short ones but now I feel I should hit out with a big long
> story. Hmm, well done anyway.
How about a dramatic love story between a man and his dog :D :D
> Great story Rickoss. It seems to be getting fashionable to write stories now. I
> have done a few short ones but now I feel I should hit out with a big long
> story. Hmm, well done anyway.
How about a dramatic love story between a man and his dog :D :D
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