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Water snakes.
I bet you’ve always wondered why there aren’t any water snakes in games today. It’s somewhat of a taboo, no-one wants to ask, no-one wants to tell.
But I will.
Never fear, all your water snake related gaming questions will soon be answered.
It’s about time, too
The water snake is a key part of the games designing process.
Not a lot of people know that.
Water snakes, those weird snakes that live underwater, those little things everyone ignores are the primary part of designing a good game - they create your enjoyment. They are gaming gods.
The waters around the world are polluted with good ideas, and with bad ones. Every time you have a shower, every time you wash your face you wash away any good ideas you had. And you’ll never even notice.
Ideas start off on the skin of humans, a slight tingling in your arm, a twitchy toe, an itchy nose - ideas. Ideas trying to get into your brain. When they’re in there, you’re safe, you’ve got them forever (unless you wash your brain) but every time you wash you wash away those ideas that have formed on your skin.
Ideas that will be put into games, YOUR ideas. Washed away.
I never wash.
Water snakes take up these ideas. And they don’t even notice. The streamlined body of the water snake attracts good ideas like a magnet, your ideas, your family’s ideas, your friend’s ideas.
Stolen.
A few men, Einstein, Newton etc. etc. have eaten water snakes. The digestion of the ideas caught by the water snake puts them directly into your brain, when they will be safe. What once would have been the great ideas of a normal man went to some snake-muching freak.
And they got all the credit.
Ask yourself - why are there so few geniuses? There should be more, shouldn’t there?
Well, the simple answer is water snakes.
No-one eats water snakes.
Why would you?
What a stupid idea.
EXACTLY
And it explains why all geniuses are a little eccentric. Let's face it, to eat a water snake you’d have to have a screw loose. These men did, they were nothing until they went over the edge, until they ate a water snake.
They were just crazy fools until they went that step more. THEN they were geniuses.
But wait!
Before you all go out and gobble down a bucket of snakes, listen to this warning.
As I said, bad ideas also get washed off into the sea, and these too are picked up by water snakes. You are even more likely to eat a bad water snake and get really bad ideas into your head.
It’s not worth it.
What do you think was on the menu the night before Hitler invaded Poland?
No mere coincidence I can tell you.
Everything starts to fall into place when you look at the world from the perspective of a water snake. Trust me.
I know everything about you.
Your strengths, your weaknesses.
I am the water snake. You cannot defeat me.
Ahem
So, what of games?
The same thing applies. It’s just common sense.
For every game created, the designers eat a water snake. It’s a ritual, the water snake ritual. A top secret operation before the meeting where ideas are thrown about.
Water snakes.
But game designers do not know of bad ideas. They don’t have my knowledge of the world, they think every water snake is covered in good ideas.
How wrong they are.
Let’s take the Army Men games for instance.
They are the plague of the gaming world. Everyone knows this.
Everyone except the designers. They think they had a good idea, they think they ate a good water snake, full of good ideas, they don’t know why no-one buys their games, they just can’t understand. So they just keep making them, certain they have a good idea, and never will stop until they die a horrible death.
Well, a normal death would do. But that’s not the point.
And why do you think the world’s best ideas, the world’s best games come from Japan?
Simple.
The Japanese are fond of raw fish, we all know this, and one rare delicacy is the water snake. The Japanese east water snake as a part of their diet, so they are prone to having many more good ideas (and bad ones) than the rest of the, non-water-snake-eating, world.
Let’s take Mr Hideo Kojima, shall we. He ate his whole water snake, and a big one it was too, covered in good ideas, and produced Metal Gear Solid.
That was his great idea.
Then, as he dreamt up MGS2 he was eating a piece of water snake. A bad one. This polluted his first idea and turned what was great into what was not so great.
Eating water snakes is a very tricky business. I’m surprised they don’t tell you in school, it can be very hazardous to you and any good ideas you may already have.
Bad can pollute good, and in the same way, a lot of good can override the bad.
So, we come onto crime-related games.
It’s really quite simple. Extinction.
Over the years there has been loads of games made, and for each one a water snake was eaten.
That’s a lot of snakes.
These days there are few water snakes left, they’ve become a rare treat for designers. Few people actually do the snake eating ritual before designing a game anymore, just because there aren’t enough left.
So, what do they do?
They steal the good ideas that have come before. No water snakes means no new ideas means no originality, means no mind-blowing games.
Thus, we have our problem of originality.
Sure, there’s a few truly original games now and then, those designers hired poachers and thieves to get them what they wanted, some new ideas. Like I said, they don’t know about the bad ideas, so they can boast about how good this new idea of theirs is, but it won’t turn out very well if they didn’t eat a good water snake.
It’s a problem that happens all the time.
Some companies, and here’s where we get down to it, have bought in a limited supply of water snakes. They cut them up and spread them out among the designers and their games. The result is a lot of games with a few new ideas in them - some turn out good, some bad.
But a piece of water snake doesn’t give you a whole new concept. So, we go back to our hunter gatherer instincts and throw in violence.
It makes prefect sense. There’s not enough snake to go around, so they either fill the gap with stolen ideas, or with mindless violence.
It is the way of man.
It’s our nature.
It’s what we do.
Violence and fighting is at our core.
It’s what we resort to when we’re bored, when we’ve nothing else to do, when there’s a void in something. We fill it with violence.
THEREFORE:
The decline in water snake has caused an increase of crime-related games.
Done and done.
And
Everything’s
Finally
Starting
To
Make
A
Little
More
Sense.
Isn’t it?
Hmm?
FFF
I bet you’ve always wondered why there aren’t any water snakes in games today. It’s somewhat of a taboo, no-one wants to ask, no-one wants to tell.
But I will.
Never fear, all your water snake related gaming questions will soon be answered.
It’s about time, too
The water snake is a key part of the games designing process.
Not a lot of people know that.
Water snakes, those weird snakes that live underwater, those little things everyone ignores are the primary part of designing a good game - they create your enjoyment. They are gaming gods.
The waters around the world are polluted with good ideas, and with bad ones. Every time you have a shower, every time you wash your face you wash away any good ideas you had. And you’ll never even notice.
Ideas start off on the skin of humans, a slight tingling in your arm, a twitchy toe, an itchy nose - ideas. Ideas trying to get into your brain. When they’re in there, you’re safe, you’ve got them forever (unless you wash your brain) but every time you wash you wash away those ideas that have formed on your skin.
Ideas that will be put into games, YOUR ideas. Washed away.
I never wash.
Water snakes take up these ideas. And they don’t even notice. The streamlined body of the water snake attracts good ideas like a magnet, your ideas, your family’s ideas, your friend’s ideas.
Stolen.
A few men, Einstein, Newton etc. etc. have eaten water snakes. The digestion of the ideas caught by the water snake puts them directly into your brain, when they will be safe. What once would have been the great ideas of a normal man went to some snake-muching freak.
And they got all the credit.
Ask yourself - why are there so few geniuses? There should be more, shouldn’t there?
Well, the simple answer is water snakes.
No-one eats water snakes.
Why would you?
What a stupid idea.
EXACTLY
And it explains why all geniuses are a little eccentric. Let's face it, to eat a water snake you’d have to have a screw loose. These men did, they were nothing until they went over the edge, until they ate a water snake.
They were just crazy fools until they went that step more. THEN they were geniuses.
But wait!
Before you all go out and gobble down a bucket of snakes, listen to this warning.
As I said, bad ideas also get washed off into the sea, and these too are picked up by water snakes. You are even more likely to eat a bad water snake and get really bad ideas into your head.
It’s not worth it.
What do you think was on the menu the night before Hitler invaded Poland?
No mere coincidence I can tell you.
Everything starts to fall into place when you look at the world from the perspective of a water snake. Trust me.
I know everything about you.
Your strengths, your weaknesses.
I am the water snake. You cannot defeat me.
Ahem
So, what of games?
The same thing applies. It’s just common sense.
For every game created, the designers eat a water snake. It’s a ritual, the water snake ritual. A top secret operation before the meeting where ideas are thrown about.
Water snakes.
But game designers do not know of bad ideas. They don’t have my knowledge of the world, they think every water snake is covered in good ideas.
How wrong they are.
Let’s take the Army Men games for instance.
They are the plague of the gaming world. Everyone knows this.
Everyone except the designers. They think they had a good idea, they think they ate a good water snake, full of good ideas, they don’t know why no-one buys their games, they just can’t understand. So they just keep making them, certain they have a good idea, and never will stop until they die a horrible death.
Well, a normal death would do. But that’s not the point.
And why do you think the world’s best ideas, the world’s best games come from Japan?
Simple.
The Japanese are fond of raw fish, we all know this, and one rare delicacy is the water snake. The Japanese east water snake as a part of their diet, so they are prone to having many more good ideas (and bad ones) than the rest of the, non-water-snake-eating, world.
Let’s take Mr Hideo Kojima, shall we. He ate his whole water snake, and a big one it was too, covered in good ideas, and produced Metal Gear Solid.
That was his great idea.
Then, as he dreamt up MGS2 he was eating a piece of water snake. A bad one. This polluted his first idea and turned what was great into what was not so great.
Eating water snakes is a very tricky business. I’m surprised they don’t tell you in school, it can be very hazardous to you and any good ideas you may already have.
Bad can pollute good, and in the same way, a lot of good can override the bad.
So, we come onto crime-related games.
It’s really quite simple. Extinction.
Over the years there has been loads of games made, and for each one a water snake was eaten.
That’s a lot of snakes.
These days there are few water snakes left, they’ve become a rare treat for designers. Few people actually do the snake eating ritual before designing a game anymore, just because there aren’t enough left.
So, what do they do?
They steal the good ideas that have come before. No water snakes means no new ideas means no originality, means no mind-blowing games.
Thus, we have our problem of originality.
Sure, there’s a few truly original games now and then, those designers hired poachers and thieves to get them what they wanted, some new ideas. Like I said, they don’t know about the bad ideas, so they can boast about how good this new idea of theirs is, but it won’t turn out very well if they didn’t eat a good water snake.
It’s a problem that happens all the time.
Some companies, and here’s where we get down to it, have bought in a limited supply of water snakes. They cut them up and spread them out among the designers and their games. The result is a lot of games with a few new ideas in them - some turn out good, some bad.
But a piece of water snake doesn’t give you a whole new concept. So, we go back to our hunter gatherer instincts and throw in violence.
It makes prefect sense. There’s not enough snake to go around, so they either fill the gap with stolen ideas, or with mindless violence.
It is the way of man.
It’s our nature.
It’s what we do.
Violence and fighting is at our core.
It’s what we resort to when we’re bored, when we’ve nothing else to do, when there’s a void in something. We fill it with violence.
THEREFORE:
The decline in water snake has caused an increase of crime-related games.
Done and done.
And
Everything’s
Finally
Starting
To
Make
A
Little
More
Sense.
Isn’t it?
Hmm?
FFF
Page:
Im "[email protected]" feel free to add me anyone else who sees this
Kyz22 wrote:
> English Bloke - can I have your msn addy if you have msn please?
You can give me yours and I will add you, its just I don’t want to put mine up hear as my name is my personal e-mail which I don’t really want to broadcast online.
> English Bloke - can I have your msn addy if you have msn please?
You can give me yours and I will add you, its just I don’t want to put mine up hear as my name is my personal e-mail which I don’t really want to broadcast online.
yeah my mate reviewed it on here (lloydi0500)
do you use messanger kyz22?
do you use messanger kyz22?
English Bloke - can I have your msn addy if you have msn please?
Have you heard any reviews for Tenchu 3?
Kyz22 wrote:
> Do you know what you're going to claim yet? If you dont and you have a
> cube I recommend Resi Zero!
I just brought this game about an hour ago... come to think of it, what am I doing hear talking to you lot? I'm of to play it now!
> Do you know what you're going to claim yet? If you dont and you have a
> cube I recommend Resi Zero!
I just brought this game about an hour ago... come to think of it, what am I doing hear talking to you lot? I'm of to play it now!
I don't have a cube.
Yet.
My pocket are empty, you see.
I'll probably get Tenchu 3 or Ape Escape 2.
Or maybe a distant title as something to look fowards to.
Yet.
My pocket are empty, you see.
I'll probably get Tenchu 3 or Ape Escape 2.
Or maybe a distant title as something to look fowards to.
Do you know what you're going to claim yet? If you dont and you have a cube I recommend Resi Zero!
Thankee children.
Very good post, deserved the GAD mate :-)
Page: