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ORIGINALLY, a multi format games retailer, but evolved into something a lot more sinister in search of global domination.
The Concise Oxford Dictionary, 2704
So the story begins…
This is the story, the story of a video gaming outlet, and how its discreet research and animal testing directed them into a spiral of greed, gluttony and demand.
It all began in the year of the SNES, two friends, one codenamed Tony, and the other, Mr. Snuggly (the names may/ may not have been altered) both gaming fanatics, set out in order to discover the meaning of life. Their journey started in the small town of Basildon, in the October of ’89. By November both of the young adults had become bored of their journey, and decided it was time to plan for the future.
Mr. Snuggly received a personal computer, complete with Windows 3.1 for Christmas, and before he and his best friend knew it, the PC was hooked up to the ‘internet’. The Internet was all the rage, and the two young gentlemen decided to discover the potential within the virtual world.
As there interest in the Internet and the gaming industry progressed, so did their knowledge of basic programming. Tony purchased a few domain names, while they were still widely available. These included ‘www.ukgames.com’ ‘www.ukgardensheds.com’ and ‘www.windows.com’. These domains put the boys back 3 pounds per year. Little did the boys know, ukgames.com would soon become a goldmine of opportunity, and wealth.
Tony received an email from a William Gates, it was an offer for the domain name ‘windows.com’, because the boys were naïve and unsophisticated, Mr. Gates capitalised upon this opportunity to purchase the domain from the lads for 20p. Because of the lack of success the boys accepted the offer, and each became 10p wealthier.
The Internet became tiresome to the boys, so they invested 20p’s worth of stock in Mr. Gates’ ‘Windows’ products.
The sales of Windows 95 hit the roof, and then some. The boys were millionaires. They sold their stock before Bill released Windows ME, and that was the wisest move of their life.
The boys thought long and hard about their future. How can we use this money wisely? They thought. Weeks passed.
They finally decided that, to become successful in this world of drunks and boars, to purchase stock for their websites. They bought, games, consoles, sheds, and a few pairs of slippers.
Ukgames.com soon became a place for cheap priced games and consoles. As the Internet became more widely available, they decided to create a forum onto their already successful site. 10 users joined up in the first year, business wasn’t so good, but hey, they were millionaires, right?
No, unsuspectedly, Tony incorporated a gambling problem, he had spent over half of their original earnings in a casino named ‘Cheats’. Snuggly was irritated by this, and then became powerful in the financial side of things. Snuggly shortly sold ukgardensheds.com as it was losing them thousands of pounds annually.
He had one option, and one option only. Offer forum users free games for good posts, and tag the games with tracking devices. These would then search round the house when players were not in, and collect loose notes. Ever suddenly lost a fiver? Now you know. The loose notes were then placed into the same ‘jiffi’ postage bag, as the game was sent in. I found out the hard way, I walked in when a game was walking round my room with a tenner in its case, bemused, I ran onto the street, onto the road, * crack*…
The punters were not suspicious, and everything was running smooth for Snuggly and Tony. The days were soon filled with loneliness, so the men decided to hire new staff, in the form of BEARDS, loki, Brad, Odin, Larrykins, Schroeder and many other crazy cats. These newly hired staff tried to make ukgames.com a better place, but Tony and Snuggly often made them draw rude pictures, and have keyboard fights.
The troublesome twosome, often stole money from their colleagues, and paid them with the same notes, the vicious cycle continued month after month, nobody dared to complain, despite knowing what the murderous men were up to.
Keyboard fights got out of hand, and Schroeder disappeared. Feared dead, the forum goers, were afraid of GAD being extinguished. Regulars often imitated Shroeder, but Tony often interrupted and assured the forumers that there would be no return from Schroedy.
One by one, the staffies disappeared in to the dark, evil underworld of Special Reserve. Forum goers were threatened by Snuggly, that if they were to leave, they knew their addresses. However a young boy, the age of 15, stepped forward, he was known as Kyzz, Would he be the hero? He left Special Reserve, unthreatened by the two men. He stepped forward
Kyzz was never seen again…
Snuggly and Tony sold the domain, to a German company ‘Einsblitzkalpen’ in order to escape from the law, and avoid having sandpaper rubbed on their nipples.
Snuggly and Tony decided to go for something bigger. They had conquered the virtual world, and had the real one in their sights. They created a faction known as the Reservortaries, and they were ravenous for authority, and prosperity.
In the summer of 2612, the reservortaries came to power, eliminating both the labour and conservative parties, with firearms, and staples. The masterful partner ship grew into something a lot more sinister, a lot more evil. Many thought ill of the group, but this wasn’t allowed, surely. Sceptics were eliminated, THERE WOULD NOT BE ANY SCEPTICS. THERE WOULD NOT BE ANY DOUBTERS. THE RESERVATORIES WILL POSSESS YOU. Farmers were tortured, for an unknown reason, and everyone had to give all their financial gain to the reservortaries. Everyone was becoming anxious of their ways; many tried to overpower the men, each and everyone, slaughtered on the spot, brutally, murderously, and occasionally amusingly.
What had happened to these two gamers? Tony and Snuggly were out of control, entering a state of power and authority. No one was to question these ‘men’; no one was to stop them…
The world entered a state of depression, illness, and injustice. Many could not take it any longer. It seemed like the world had already ended, yet everything was still alive. Years passed…
Tony decided to switch on his PS45, Sony’s latest creation, “my god” Tony exclaimed. “where have you been all my life?”. The answer was right in front of him, the simple, obvious delights of gaming. He had exploited everyone’s privacy, rights, and pets, for money, and wealth. When all he had to sample were the enchantments of the gaming industry. The two old men, restored the world, into a glorious, magnificent place, everyone became joyful. Gaming had returned to the hearts of Snuggly and Tony.
Until, midday on the 17th of July, everything was running as smoothly as humanly possible. But the sunlight was blocked; it became dark, as if evil had lurked into a land of happiness. A figure arose from the horizon, a masterful being, holding two weapons, he approached the two men. It was Kyzz…
Blood splattered along the monumental metropolis, guts, organs, everything. The mortals were executed, but their immortal souls will live in the hearts of every gamer.
Kyzz misunderstood the circumstance, but chances were not given. He tried to raise his fist in a land of hypocrisy, but ended up on the floor, in a puddle of red.
There were no winners.
The final Chapter of the SR Story comes to an end. Never, never to return.
Just so ya’ know, like
Cheers
I will keep them coming, until I roll into a ball on the floor like a spastic and explode.
Good post. Keep 'em coming.
Anyway, nice story
*Coughs*
ORIGINALLY, a multi format games retailer, but evolved into something a lot more sinister in search of global domination.
The Concise Oxford Dictionary, 2704
So the story begins…
This is the story, the story of a video gaming outlet, and how its discreet research and animal testing directed them into a spiral of greed, gluttony and demand.
It all began in the year of the SNES, two friends, one codenamed Tony, and the other, Mr. Snuggly (the names may/ may not have been altered) both gaming fanatics, set out in order to discover the meaning of life. Their journey started in the small town of Basildon, in the October of ’89. By November both of the young adults had become bored of their journey, and decided it was time to plan for the future.
Mr. Snuggly received a personal computer, complete with Windows 3.1 for Christmas, and before he and his best friend knew it, the PC was hooked up to the ‘internet’. The Internet was all the rage, and the two young gentlemen decided to discover the potential within the virtual world.
As there interest in the Internet and the gaming industry progressed, so did their knowledge of basic programming. Tony purchased a few domain names, while they were still widely available. These included ‘www.ukgames.com’ ‘www.ukgardensheds.com’ and ‘www.windows.com’. These domains put the boys back 3 pounds per year. Little did the boys know, ukgames.com would soon become a goldmine of opportunity, and wealth.
Tony received an email from a William Gates, it was an offer for the domain name ‘windows.com’, because the boys were naïve and unsophisticated, Mr. Gates capitalised upon this opportunity to purchase the domain from the lads for 20p. Because of the lack of success the boys accepted the offer, and each became 10p wealthier.
The Internet became tiresome to the boys, so they invested 20p’s worth of stock in Mr. Gates’ ‘Windows’ products.
The sales of Windows 95 hit the roof, and then some. The boys were millionaires. They sold their stock before Bill released Windows ME, and that was the wisest move of their life.
The boys thought long and hard about their future. How can we use this money wisely? They thought. Weeks passed.
They finally decided that, to become successful in this world of drunks and boars, to purchase stock for their websites. They bought, games, consoles, sheds, and a few pairs of slippers.
Ukgames.com soon became a place for cheap priced games and consoles. As the Internet became more widely available, they decided to create a forum onto their already successful site. 10 users joined up in the first year, business wasn’t so good, but hey, they were millionaires, right?
No, unsuspectedly, Tony incorporated a gambling problem, he had spent over half of their original earnings in a casino named ‘Cheats’. Snuggly was irritated by this, and then became powerful in the financial side of things. Snuggly shortly sold ukgardensheds.com as it was losing them thousands of pounds annually.
He had one option, and one option only. Offer forum users free games for good posts, and tag the games with tracking devices. These would then search round the house when players were not in, and collect loose notes. Ever suddenly lost a fiver? Now you know. The loose notes were then placed into the same ‘jiffi’ postage bag, as the game was sent in. I found out the hard way, I walked in when a game was walking round my room with a tenner in its case, bemused, I ran onto the street, onto the road, * crack*…
The punters were not suspicious, and everything was running smooth for Snuggly and Tony. The days were soon filled with loneliness, so the men decided to hire new staff, in the form of BEARDS, loki, Brad, Odin, Larrykins, Schroeder and many other crazy cats. These newly hired staff tried to make ukgames.com a better place, but Tony and Snuggly often made them draw rude pictures, and have keyboard fights.
The troublesome twosome, often stole money from their colleagues, and paid them with the same notes, the vicious cycle continued month after month, nobody dared to complain, despite knowing what the murderous men were up to.
Keyboard fights got out of hand, and Schroeder disappeared. Feared dead, the forum goers, were afraid of GAD being extinguished. Regulars often imitated Shroeder, but Tony often interrupted and assured the forumers that there would be no return from Schroedy.
One by one, the staffies disappeared in to the dark, evil underworld of Special Reserve. Forum goers were threatened by Snuggly, that if they were to leave, they knew their addresses. However a young boy, the age of 15, stepped forward, he was known as Kyzz, Would he be the hero? He left Special Reserve, unthreatened by the two men. He stepped forward
Kyzz was never seen again…
Snuggly and Tony sold the domain, to a German company ‘Einsblitzkalpen’ in order to escape from the law, and avoid having sandpaper rubbed on their nipples.
Snuggly and Tony decided to go for something bigger. They had conquered the virtual world, and had the real one in their sights. They created a faction known as the Reservortaries, and they were ravenous for authority, and prosperity.
In the summer of 2612, the reservortaries came to power, eliminating both the labour and conservative parties, with firearms, and staples. The masterful partner ship grew into something a lot more sinister, a lot more evil. Many thought ill of the group, but this wasn’t allowed, surely. Sceptics were eliminated, THERE WOULD NOT BE ANY SCEPTICS. THERE WOULD NOT BE ANY DOUBTERS. THE RESERVATORIES WILL POSSESS YOU. Farmers were tortured, for an unknown reason, and everyone had to give all their financial gain to the reservortaries. Everyone was becoming anxious of their ways; many tried to overpower the men, each and everyone, slaughtered on the spot, brutally, murderously, and occasionally amusingly.
What had happened to these two gamers? Tony and Snuggly were out of control, entering a state of power and authority. No one was to question these ‘men’; no one was to stop them…
The world entered a state of depression, illness, and injustice. Many could not take it any longer. It seemed like the world had already ended, yet everything was still alive. Years passed…
Tony decided to switch on his PS45, Sony’s latest creation, “my god” Tony exclaimed. “where have you been all my life?”. The answer was right in front of him, the simple, obvious delights of gaming. He had exploited everyone’s privacy, rights, and pets, for money, and wealth. When all he had to sample were the enchantments of the gaming industry. The two old men, restored the world, into a glorious, magnificent place, everyone became joyful. Gaming had returned to the hearts of Snuggly and Tony.
Until, midday on the 17th of July, everything was running as smoothly as humanly possible. But the sunlight was blocked; it became dark, as if evil had lurked into a land of happiness. A figure arose from the horizon, a masterful being, holding two weapons, he approached the two men. It was Kyzz…
Blood splattered along the monumental metropolis, guts, organs, everything. The mortals were executed, but their immortal souls will live in the hearts of every gamer.
Kyzz misunderstood the circumstance, but chances were not given. He tried to raise his fist in a land of hypocrisy, but ended up on the floor, in a puddle of red.
There were no winners.
The final Chapter of the SR Story comes to an end. Never, never to return.
Just so ya’ know, like
Cheers