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We have all had them, those times when you just think "Why? Why is gaming so freaking stupid?" Usually the stupidities can be attributed to restrictions needed to make the game work. "Why cant Mario fly out of a level in Mario 64?" There is an invisible wall, however the Gameplay dictates, you're not allowed out, there is nothing there, it's more professional to create a transparent window effect, than to let people sail off into a black space, inhabited by nothing at all but broken polygons and excess code baggage, or whatever is lurking behind those places. With all that said, there are some terribly illogical things that pop up in games all the time, things that can be very annoying, funny but usually just 'There', you've got used to it, they've been popping up since the dawn of time. I'm still compelled to write this feature though, and what follows are ten illogical or stupid gaming phenomena, these are, by no means, the definite ten, however they are the ones that come to me now, so, anyway, onwards.
Bosses always have a "Weak point"
Why is this? Why does Bowser sit on a bridge over a lava pool in Super Mario Bros? He must realize that it's not very safe, especially after falling in 15 times before Mario attempts the same trick for a 16th time. Why the hell Does the boss that can only be killed with the Bow & Arrow in Zelda leave a Bow & Arrow lying around in a chest? I am not trying to say that this is bad, as such, of course games cannot simply have invincible baddies, unless you are not required to kill them, however the structure of games sometimes leaves itself open for the odd chuckle or WHACK IN THE LEG.
The item you need is always somewhere accessible
Strange (isn't it?) that in a game like Zelda, vital items needed to progress further in the game, are never hidden... further in the game. Example: Link needs the Hookshot to reach the Forest Temple *Shock* The hookshot is NOT hidden in the forth temple. Of course if it was, Link would simply be stuck, throughout his quest the items are always in positions he can get to using items he's already found, again this isn't an annoyance, just something that recurs over and over in many different genres, yet makes very little sense.
Enemies are morons
Why the hell do Koopa's walk in straight lines in Mario World? Presumably they are evil, and do not like Mario at all, we are frequently lead to believe they are minions of the Evil Bowser person. If this is true why do they wander off in lines falling in holes? Are they just stupid? They don't seem to make any attempt to actually kill Mario. These primitive actions carry on into the newer, more "sophisticated" generation of games. Do the bad guys in Perfect Dark not think of their families, when they rush out, right in front of Joanna, and proclaim "You made your last move girl" or their 27 work colleagues? No! Because they are flaming idiots. All of them.
Game characters have "Super Human" abilities
Yes, even when they are Human. Mario is not real, he is a strange plumber who can throw fireballs out of his hands, however characters like Link, who are supposed to be normal kids, but who have courage and will and other crap, still have crazy powers. They can fall from huge heights and only be slightly injured, they can be shot in the face and only lose "half their health", yes I'm talking Perfect dark here, but also, almost every other FPS in existence.
You picked up an extra "life"
... Okay, you cant pick up an "extra life", what the hell is that all about, it's simply not possible EVER in real life, in fact the only thing that is certain in life, is death. I think games like Perfect Dark do it best, they don't do lives, you are simply trying again, you're not playing the level over and over but losing your guns and having life decreasement each time. And what the hell is it with "continues" a strange invention whereby you get a whole load more lives after you've lost all your other "lives". I read an interesting column recently, the author suggested that the reason Games often fail to draw you into the characters like Films and books do is the "Another chance" mentality. Would you really care if John Conor died in Terminator 2 thus ending humanities chances of survival forever if you knew he could just "Start again", possibly from the last "save point"? Probably not.
Guns are just left lying around
In almost every single game ever, bar pure racers, most sports titles, and perhaps a few others, almost every game ever has this trait, stuff is just left lying around. What is it doing there? We can but guess. Why are Rupees in the bushes in Zelda, why are there guns lying around in Goldeneye? Who exactly left that explosive orange on that vine? These questions, and more, will never ever be answered, ever.
Wahahah, I am a boss, you will never defeat me
"Ahahah, I am so evil, and awesome, I could squash you like a bug, but rather than doing that, I think I will setup 38 highly elaborate traps, each one more fiendish than the last, mwahahahah! Oh this is such fun, ahaha, I shall make a room that gets lower and lower mwahahhaha, I shall give him exactly enough time so he can only just make it if he holds the run button, wahahah, oh damn he's made it... the next trap will definitely get him, waha... *cough splutter*"
Tum te tum, let me just brush my teeth and SAVE THE WORLD
RPG's, they're a funny bunch, whilst often resting the fate of the universe on several characters with different personalities (so they argue with HILARIOUS CONSEQUENCES) they also tend to talk to dogs and help fat ladies fix their baths, they also enjoy taking long snoozes in hotel "Restrooms" when the fate of the world rests on their actions in the next hour.
Hmmm, I wonder what's in THIS house
Picture the scene...
Cheeky, Nameless, Hylian Elf thing: "Hmmmm, that looks like a posh house, I wonder what I'll find if I take a look inside... aha a CHEST there is money in this chest, and what have we here? Delicious rupees, here in this pot. And now look, I have been hit over the head with a chair, ouch, it really hurts, and that man looks angry, and now there is blood on me leg, HEY you leave the police out of this"
Bwahah! You will never work out my weak spot (My Groin!!!)
"Heh, you will never kill me... Unless you grab me by my tail and spin me around and around... ooops, I've said too much, now lets fight, little child", such mind numbing "hints" frequently annoy me. Why does every boss-type-creature feel the need to blatantly give away any weak points he might have? If your arch rival comes up to you do you say "You stupid p***k, I will kick your head in, moron, it's lucky you don't know about my recently BROKEN WRIST on my LEFT ARM, cause if you did, you might be able to win" I, personally, would think not, but then it's well documented that I am not really knowledgeable in the "ways of the world"...
And that concludes my slightly exhaustive look at those little anomalies and strangeness, that, although, usually, just one of those things about gaming, can be idiotic and occasionally sloppy from the developers view. I'm sure there are tons and tons of things I missed out, I strongly encourage you to post your ideas and thoughts in this post - you never know we could even have a few thousand replys!. It's a topic which could be the source of much amusement to come, if people get into it.
Merry Christmas!
Bosses always have a "Weak point"
Why is this? Why does Bowser sit on a bridge over a lava pool in Super Mario Bros? He must realize that it's not very safe, especially after falling in 15 times before Mario attempts the same trick for a 16th time. Why the hell Does the boss that can only be killed with the Bow & Arrow in Zelda leave a Bow & Arrow lying around in a chest? I am not trying to say that this is bad, as such, of course games cannot simply have invincible baddies, unless you are not required to kill them, however the structure of games sometimes leaves itself open for the odd chuckle or WHACK IN THE LEG.
The item you need is always somewhere accessible
Strange (isn't it?) that in a game like Zelda, vital items needed to progress further in the game, are never hidden... further in the game. Example: Link needs the Hookshot to reach the Forest Temple *Shock* The hookshot is NOT hidden in the forth temple. Of course if it was, Link would simply be stuck, throughout his quest the items are always in positions he can get to using items he's already found, again this isn't an annoyance, just something that recurs over and over in many different genres, yet makes very little sense.
Enemies are morons
Why the hell do Koopa's walk in straight lines in Mario World? Presumably they are evil, and do not like Mario at all, we are frequently lead to believe they are minions of the Evil Bowser person. If this is true why do they wander off in lines falling in holes? Are they just stupid? They don't seem to make any attempt to actually kill Mario. These primitive actions carry on into the newer, more "sophisticated" generation of games. Do the bad guys in Perfect Dark not think of their families, when they rush out, right in front of Joanna, and proclaim "You made your last move girl" or their 27 work colleagues? No! Because they are flaming idiots. All of them.
Game characters have "Super Human" abilities
Yes, even when they are Human. Mario is not real, he is a strange plumber who can throw fireballs out of his hands, however characters like Link, who are supposed to be normal kids, but who have courage and will and other crap, still have crazy powers. They can fall from huge heights and only be slightly injured, they can be shot in the face and only lose "half their health", yes I'm talking Perfect dark here, but also, almost every other FPS in existence.
You picked up an extra "life"
... Okay, you cant pick up an "extra life", what the hell is that all about, it's simply not possible EVER in real life, in fact the only thing that is certain in life, is death. I think games like Perfect Dark do it best, they don't do lives, you are simply trying again, you're not playing the level over and over but losing your guns and having life decreasement each time. And what the hell is it with "continues" a strange invention whereby you get a whole load more lives after you've lost all your other "lives". I read an interesting column recently, the author suggested that the reason Games often fail to draw you into the characters like Films and books do is the "Another chance" mentality. Would you really care if John Conor died in Terminator 2 thus ending humanities chances of survival forever if you knew he could just "Start again", possibly from the last "save point"? Probably not.
Guns are just left lying around
In almost every single game ever, bar pure racers, most sports titles, and perhaps a few others, almost every game ever has this trait, stuff is just left lying around. What is it doing there? We can but guess. Why are Rupees in the bushes in Zelda, why are there guns lying around in Goldeneye? Who exactly left that explosive orange on that vine? These questions, and more, will never ever be answered, ever.
Wahahah, I am a boss, you will never defeat me
"Ahahah, I am so evil, and awesome, I could squash you like a bug, but rather than doing that, I think I will setup 38 highly elaborate traps, each one more fiendish than the last, mwahahahah! Oh this is such fun, ahaha, I shall make a room that gets lower and lower mwahahhaha, I shall give him exactly enough time so he can only just make it if he holds the run button, wahahah, oh damn he's made it... the next trap will definitely get him, waha... *cough splutter*"
Tum te tum, let me just brush my teeth and SAVE THE WORLD
RPG's, they're a funny bunch, whilst often resting the fate of the universe on several characters with different personalities (so they argue with HILARIOUS CONSEQUENCES) they also tend to talk to dogs and help fat ladies fix their baths, they also enjoy taking long snoozes in hotel "Restrooms" when the fate of the world rests on their actions in the next hour.
Hmmm, I wonder what's in THIS house
Picture the scene...
Cheeky, Nameless, Hylian Elf thing: "Hmmmm, that looks like a posh house, I wonder what I'll find if I take a look inside... aha a CHEST there is money in this chest, and what have we here? Delicious rupees, here in this pot. And now look, I have been hit over the head with a chair, ouch, it really hurts, and that man looks angry, and now there is blood on me leg, HEY you leave the police out of this"
Bwahah! You will never work out my weak spot (My Groin!!!)
"Heh, you will never kill me... Unless you grab me by my tail and spin me around and around... ooops, I've said too much, now lets fight, little child", such mind numbing "hints" frequently annoy me. Why does every boss-type-creature feel the need to blatantly give away any weak points he might have? If your arch rival comes up to you do you say "You stupid p***k, I will kick your head in, moron, it's lucky you don't know about my recently BROKEN WRIST on my LEFT ARM, cause if you did, you might be able to win" I, personally, would think not, but then it's well documented that I am not really knowledgeable in the "ways of the world"...
And that concludes my slightly exhaustive look at those little anomalies and strangeness, that, although, usually, just one of those things about gaming, can be idiotic and occasionally sloppy from the developers view. I'm sure there are tons and tons of things I missed out, I strongly encourage you to post your ideas and thoughts in this post - you never know we could even have a few thousand replys!. It's a topic which could be the source of much amusement to come, if people get into it.
Merry Christmas!
Yea, and in most racers why the hell are they always so good? Like Gran Turismo 2. But, its getting much better now. I mean, at least they battle you for your position (Excitebike 64) and V-Rally (N64) Was such a "Grr!" one little tap, and thats it, race practially over. But, in my view it made the game more of a challenge.
1) Trying to get used to the super sensitive controls
2) Trying not to hit any parts of the track because it just sends you into oblivion.
3) Trying to stay away from the red blooded drivers. I mean, they were stupid, no actually, not stupid, just suicidal. It was funny :o)
1) Trying to get used to the super sensitive controls
2) Trying not to hit any parts of the track because it just sends you into oblivion.
3) Trying to stay away from the red blooded drivers. I mean, they were stupid, no actually, not stupid, just suicidal. It was funny :o)
That was actually a suprisingly good read! Like the style (although I'm not entirely sure whether you're not just a regular who has picked up a new account... so many have done it before! Oh, and it's Xmas as well;)
Well, a few I'd like to add:
*Enemies leave ammo is wooden crates that, when shot, explode, and yet leave the weapons inside unharmed.
*Enemies generally die when you jump on them once, or shoot them a couple of times. You, hewever, can be shot many times before beginning to suffer!
There are more (actually, I wrote a topic just like this a few months back, but with different flaws!), but I can;t think of them!
Merry Christmas!
Sonic
Well, a few I'd like to add:
*Enemies leave ammo is wooden crates that, when shot, explode, and yet leave the weapons inside unharmed.
*Enemies generally die when you jump on them once, or shoot them a couple of times. You, hewever, can be shot many times before beginning to suffer!
There are more (actually, I wrote a topic just like this a few months back, but with different flaws!), but I can;t think of them!
Merry Christmas!
Sonic
there all just, those thing that are stupid but we've grow up to love.
We have all had them, those times when you just think "Why? Why is gaming so freaking stupid?" Usually the stupidities can be attributed to restrictions needed to make the game work. "Why cant Mario fly out of a level in Mario 64?" There is an invisible wall, however the Gameplay dictates, you're not allowed out, there is nothing there, it's more professional to create a transparent window effect, than to let people sail off into a black space, inhabited by nothing at all but broken polygons and excess code baggage, or whatever is lurking behind those places. With all that said, there are some terribly illogical things that pop up in games all the time, things that can be very annoying, funny but usually just 'There', you've got used to it, they've been popping up since the dawn of time. I'm still compelled to write this feature though, and what follows are ten illogical or stupid gaming phenomena, these are, by no means, the definite ten, however they are the ones that come to me now, so, anyway, onwards.
Bosses always have a "Weak point"
Why is this? Why does Bowser sit on a bridge over a lava pool in Super Mario Bros? He must realize that it's not very safe, especially after falling in 15 times before Mario attempts the same trick for a 16th time. Why the hell Does the boss that can only be killed with the Bow & Arrow in Zelda leave a Bow & Arrow lying around in a chest? I am not trying to say that this is bad, as such, of course games cannot simply have invincible baddies, unless you are not required to kill them, however the structure of games sometimes leaves itself open for the odd chuckle or WHACK IN THE LEG.
The item you need is always somewhere accessible
Strange (isn't it?) that in a game like Zelda, vital items needed to progress further in the game, are never hidden... further in the game. Example: Link needs the Hookshot to reach the Forest Temple *Shock* The hookshot is NOT hidden in the forth temple. Of course if it was, Link would simply be stuck, throughout his quest the items are always in positions he can get to using items he's already found, again this isn't an annoyance, just something that recurs over and over in many different genres, yet makes very little sense.
Enemies are morons
Why the hell do Koopa's walk in straight lines in Mario World? Presumably they are evil, and do not like Mario at all, we are frequently lead to believe they are minions of the Evil Bowser person. If this is true why do they wander off in lines falling in holes? Are they just stupid? They don't seem to make any attempt to actually kill Mario. These primitive actions carry on into the newer, more "sophisticated" generation of games. Do the bad guys in Perfect Dark not think of their families, when they rush out, right in front of Joanna, and proclaim "You made your last move girl" or their 27 work colleagues? No! Because they are flaming idiots. All of them.
Game characters have "Super Human" abilities
Yes, even when they are Human. Mario is not real, he is a strange plumber who can throw fireballs out of his hands, however characters like Link, who are supposed to be normal kids, but who have courage and will and other crap, still have crazy powers. They can fall from huge heights and only be slightly injured, they can be shot in the face and only lose "half their health", yes I'm talking Perfect dark here, but also, almost every other FPS in existence.
You picked up an extra "life"
... Okay, you cant pick up an "extra life", what the hell is that all about, it's simply not possible EVER in real life, in fact the only thing that is certain in life, is death. I think games like Perfect Dark do it best, they don't do lives, you are simply trying again, you're not playing the level over and over but losing your guns and having life decreasement each time. And what the hell is it with "continues" a strange invention whereby you get a whole load more lives after you've lost all your other "lives". I read an interesting column recently, the author suggested that the reason Games often fail to draw you into the characters like Films and books do is the "Another chance" mentality. Would you really care if John Conor died in Terminator 2 thus ending humanities chances of survival forever if you knew he could just "Start again", possibly from the last "save point"? Probably not.
Guns are just left lying around
In almost every single game ever, bar pure racers, most sports titles, and perhaps a few others, almost every game ever has this trait, stuff is just left lying around. What is it doing there? We can but guess. Why are Rupees in the bushes in Zelda, why are there guns lying around in Goldeneye? Who exactly left that explosive orange on that vine? These questions, and more, will never ever be answered, ever.
Wahahah, I am a boss, you will never defeat me
"Ahahah, I am so evil, and awesome, I could squash you like a bug, but rather than doing that, I think I will setup 38 highly elaborate traps, each one more fiendish than the last, mwahahahah! Oh this is such fun, ahaha, I shall make a room that gets lower and lower mwahahhaha, I shall give him exactly enough time so he can only just make it if he holds the run button, wahahah, oh damn he's made it... the next trap will definitely get him, waha... *cough splutter*"
Tum te tum, let me just brush my teeth and SAVE THE WORLD
RPG's, they're a funny bunch, whilst often resting the fate of the universe on several characters with different personalities (so they argue with HILARIOUS CONSEQUENCES) they also tend to talk to dogs and help fat ladies fix their baths, they also enjoy taking long snoozes in hotel "Restrooms" when the fate of the world rests on their actions in the next hour.
Hmmm, I wonder what's in THIS house
Picture the scene...
Cheeky, Nameless, Hylian Elf thing: "Hmmmm, that looks like a posh house, I wonder what I'll find if I take a look inside... aha a CHEST there is money in this chest, and what have we here? Delicious rupees, here in this pot. And now look, I have been hit over the head with a chair, ouch, it really hurts, and that man looks angry, and now there is blood on me leg, HEY you leave the police out of this"
Bwahah! You will never work out my weak spot (My Groin!!!)
"Heh, you will never kill me... Unless you grab me by my tail and spin me around and around... ooops, I've said too much, now lets fight, little child", such mind numbing "hints" frequently annoy me. Why does every boss-type-creature feel the need to blatantly give away any weak points he might have? If your arch rival comes up to you do you say "You stupid p***k, I will kick your head in, moron, it's lucky you don't know about my recently BROKEN WRIST on my LEFT ARM, cause if you did, you might be able to win" I, personally, would think not, but then it's well documented that I am not really knowledgeable in the "ways of the world"...
And that concludes my slightly exhaustive look at those little anomalies and strangeness, that, although, usually, just one of those things about gaming, can be idiotic and occasionally sloppy from the developers view. I'm sure there are tons and tons of things I missed out, I strongly encourage you to post your ideas and thoughts in this post - you never know we could even have a few thousand replys!. It's a topic which could be the source of much amusement to come, if people get into it.
Merry Christmas!
Bosses always have a "Weak point"
Why is this? Why does Bowser sit on a bridge over a lava pool in Super Mario Bros? He must realize that it's not very safe, especially after falling in 15 times before Mario attempts the same trick for a 16th time. Why the hell Does the boss that can only be killed with the Bow & Arrow in Zelda leave a Bow & Arrow lying around in a chest? I am not trying to say that this is bad, as such, of course games cannot simply have invincible baddies, unless you are not required to kill them, however the structure of games sometimes leaves itself open for the odd chuckle or WHACK IN THE LEG.
The item you need is always somewhere accessible
Strange (isn't it?) that in a game like Zelda, vital items needed to progress further in the game, are never hidden... further in the game. Example: Link needs the Hookshot to reach the Forest Temple *Shock* The hookshot is NOT hidden in the forth temple. Of course if it was, Link would simply be stuck, throughout his quest the items are always in positions he can get to using items he's already found, again this isn't an annoyance, just something that recurs over and over in many different genres, yet makes very little sense.
Enemies are morons
Why the hell do Koopa's walk in straight lines in Mario World? Presumably they are evil, and do not like Mario at all, we are frequently lead to believe they are minions of the Evil Bowser person. If this is true why do they wander off in lines falling in holes? Are they just stupid? They don't seem to make any attempt to actually kill Mario. These primitive actions carry on into the newer, more "sophisticated" generation of games. Do the bad guys in Perfect Dark not think of their families, when they rush out, right in front of Joanna, and proclaim "You made your last move girl" or their 27 work colleagues? No! Because they are flaming idiots. All of them.
Game characters have "Super Human" abilities
Yes, even when they are Human. Mario is not real, he is a strange plumber who can throw fireballs out of his hands, however characters like Link, who are supposed to be normal kids, but who have courage and will and other crap, still have crazy powers. They can fall from huge heights and only be slightly injured, they can be shot in the face and only lose "half their health", yes I'm talking Perfect dark here, but also, almost every other FPS in existence.
You picked up an extra "life"
... Okay, you cant pick up an "extra life", what the hell is that all about, it's simply not possible EVER in real life, in fact the only thing that is certain in life, is death. I think games like Perfect Dark do it best, they don't do lives, you are simply trying again, you're not playing the level over and over but losing your guns and having life decreasement each time. And what the hell is it with "continues" a strange invention whereby you get a whole load more lives after you've lost all your other "lives". I read an interesting column recently, the author suggested that the reason Games often fail to draw you into the characters like Films and books do is the "Another chance" mentality. Would you really care if John Conor died in Terminator 2 thus ending humanities chances of survival forever if you knew he could just "Start again", possibly from the last "save point"? Probably not.
Guns are just left lying around
In almost every single game ever, bar pure racers, most sports titles, and perhaps a few others, almost every game ever has this trait, stuff is just left lying around. What is it doing there? We can but guess. Why are Rupees in the bushes in Zelda, why are there guns lying around in Goldeneye? Who exactly left that explosive orange on that vine? These questions, and more, will never ever be answered, ever.
Wahahah, I am a boss, you will never defeat me
"Ahahah, I am so evil, and awesome, I could squash you like a bug, but rather than doing that, I think I will setup 38 highly elaborate traps, each one more fiendish than the last, mwahahahah! Oh this is such fun, ahaha, I shall make a room that gets lower and lower mwahahhaha, I shall give him exactly enough time so he can only just make it if he holds the run button, wahahah, oh damn he's made it... the next trap will definitely get him, waha... *cough splutter*"
Tum te tum, let me just brush my teeth and SAVE THE WORLD
RPG's, they're a funny bunch, whilst often resting the fate of the universe on several characters with different personalities (so they argue with HILARIOUS CONSEQUENCES) they also tend to talk to dogs and help fat ladies fix their baths, they also enjoy taking long snoozes in hotel "Restrooms" when the fate of the world rests on their actions in the next hour.
Hmmm, I wonder what's in THIS house
Picture the scene...
Cheeky, Nameless, Hylian Elf thing: "Hmmmm, that looks like a posh house, I wonder what I'll find if I take a look inside... aha a CHEST there is money in this chest, and what have we here? Delicious rupees, here in this pot. And now look, I have been hit over the head with a chair, ouch, it really hurts, and that man looks angry, and now there is blood on me leg, HEY you leave the police out of this"
Bwahah! You will never work out my weak spot (My Groin!!!)
"Heh, you will never kill me... Unless you grab me by my tail and spin me around and around... ooops, I've said too much, now lets fight, little child", such mind numbing "hints" frequently annoy me. Why does every boss-type-creature feel the need to blatantly give away any weak points he might have? If your arch rival comes up to you do you say "You stupid p***k, I will kick your head in, moron, it's lucky you don't know about my recently BROKEN WRIST on my LEFT ARM, cause if you did, you might be able to win" I, personally, would think not, but then it's well documented that I am not really knowledgeable in the "ways of the world"...
And that concludes my slightly exhaustive look at those little anomalies and strangeness, that, although, usually, just one of those things about gaming, can be idiotic and occasionally sloppy from the developers view. I'm sure there are tons and tons of things I missed out, I strongly encourage you to post your ideas and thoughts in this post - you never know we could even have a few thousand replys!. It's a topic which could be the source of much amusement to come, if people get into it.
Merry Christmas!