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"ssc13- The Followers"

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Fri 06/07/07 at 22:39
Regular
"Why do peole b****"
Posts: 303
Harry Blinker was on his way to school when the neighbourhood bullies started following him. At first he ignored them thinking that they would just leave him alone, but after about halfway they were still following him so he decided to confront them and asked them what they wanted. The gang didn’t respond well to this and took his bag and emptied his things out on the floor, after everything was on the floor they picked up his work books and started ripping them up. When they ran out of books they started pushing him and shouted abuse at Harry. “leave me alone”, he cried.
One of the members of the gang said “uh, is the little baby getting upset”, and punched him. The other boys stood there laughing at Harry’s pain.
The person that punched Harry told the boys to huddle up. While they were doing this Harry got up and ran away. One of the boys saw him running and shouted get him. Harry had about ten boy chasing him. They were much faster than him but some how he managed to escape. When he got to school his best mate Chris saw him and asked “what’s happened, why are u you running for ?”. As Harry was explaining Chris walked him to the front desk to tell the office workers.
All day Harry was thinking about the boys and wondering if they knew what school he went to.

After school sadly Harry found out at that they did because he saw them waiting outside for him. He told his mates that the boys were waiting for him and they agreed to walk home with him to make him feel secure. But that didn’t stop the boys following him.
This was because there were 10 of the boys and only 5 of harry’s mates.
After a while Chris realized that they weren’t following them, so they went through a short cut through a dark alleyway. When they got halfway the gang surrounded Harry and the rest of his mates and grabbed Louise who was chrises girlfriend.
One of the boys started chatting her up and whispered somthink into her ears and she slapped him. This made him angry so he pinned her up against the wall and Chris went to get her up but one of the gang members kneed him in the belly and started kicking him.
“leave him lone”, Louise shouted.
The boy that was kicking Chris stopped and said in a sly voice, “ok then”, and threw him against a wall. “I’ll play with our little friend here”. after saying that he got hold of harrries collor and dragged him along the floor and said “ eat this”, while squishing mud against his face.
“Leave them alone”, said a strong voice from the background. The gang must have recognized the voice because they ran of.
Harry and his mates ran in the direction that the voice came from but couldn’t see anyone except for a dog.
Sat 21/07/07 at 13:12
Regular
"not dead"
Posts: 11,145
Seemed to take place in a vacuum - there wasn't really enough description of the surrounding. Also didn't think we got inside Harry's head enough, we were told that this happened, then this happened, but not really how he felt about it.

The ending with the dog was surprising, but it seemed to come from nowhere - if it was foreshadowed - had Harry of seen the dog looking at him early on, or something, it would have felt more complete.
Fri 06/07/07 at 22:39
Regular
"Why do peole b****"
Posts: 303
Harry Blinker was on his way to school when the neighbourhood bullies started following him. At first he ignored them thinking that they would just leave him alone, but after about halfway they were still following him so he decided to confront them and asked them what they wanted. The gang didn’t respond well to this and took his bag and emptied his things out on the floor, after everything was on the floor they picked up his work books and started ripping them up. When they ran out of books they started pushing him and shouted abuse at Harry. “leave me alone”, he cried.
One of the members of the gang said “uh, is the little baby getting upset”, and punched him. The other boys stood there laughing at Harry’s pain.
The person that punched Harry told the boys to huddle up. While they were doing this Harry got up and ran away. One of the boys saw him running and shouted get him. Harry had about ten boy chasing him. They were much faster than him but some how he managed to escape. When he got to school his best mate Chris saw him and asked “what’s happened, why are u you running for ?”. As Harry was explaining Chris walked him to the front desk to tell the office workers.
All day Harry was thinking about the boys and wondering if they knew what school he went to.

After school sadly Harry found out at that they did because he saw them waiting outside for him. He told his mates that the boys were waiting for him and they agreed to walk home with him to make him feel secure. But that didn’t stop the boys following him.
This was because there were 10 of the boys and only 5 of harry’s mates.
After a while Chris realized that they weren’t following them, so they went through a short cut through a dark alleyway. When they got halfway the gang surrounded Harry and the rest of his mates and grabbed Louise who was chrises girlfriend.
One of the boys started chatting her up and whispered somthink into her ears and she slapped him. This made him angry so he pinned her up against the wall and Chris went to get her up but one of the gang members kneed him in the belly and started kicking him.
“leave him lone”, Louise shouted.
The boy that was kicking Chris stopped and said in a sly voice, “ok then”, and threw him against a wall. “I’ll play with our little friend here”. after saying that he got hold of harrries collor and dragged him along the floor and said “ eat this”, while squishing mud against his face.
“Leave them alone”, said a strong voice from the background. The gang must have recognized the voice because they ran of.
Harry and his mates ran in the direction that the voice came from but couldn’t see anyone except for a dog.

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