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Well you probably won't read this because of the name of this topic so if you did then you are a lucky person as you get to read my first ever attempt at a short novel. Enjoy!
"I demand to know!" barked King Wabbledegook from across the room to his knights, "where the lost literature of the forgotten Terisha Forest may be!" "We don't know sir," squeaked the knights timidly. "WELL GET OUT OF MY ROOM THEN!" shouted the King. The King was a desparate man while he was after the Literature of the Terisha Forest or his sons would die when they became 2 years old. He didn't have any sons or even a wife who could bring the gift to have those kids so all the people in the kingdom of Marshvelow were confused as to why he needed the literature but the king had a deeper darker secret. There were hidden words in the literature that he needed to awaken the Great Humberta, King of Winchester so that the king could rule all of Englandville. (England hadn't been invented back then but Winchester had, queer eh?)
The next day the King had assembled a route for his most trustworthy and squeaky knights in his kingdom. He had sat up late in his burgandy throne the night before, pondering on what to d and he had found a perfect plan at exactly 4.37 am precisely 6 minutes before he needed to go to the toilet after feeling a sharp pain in his bowels. The plan was that he would send out 3 parties of knights to explore the hidden world of Pasedena in search of clues. Each army of knights was accompanied by a cat called Joseph. Cats called Joseph were sacred in those days. Each one had the power to make other armies dance around and pull faces at their superiors which ended up in the superiors chopping their inferiors heads off and losing due to lack of army but enough mumbling on about cats called Joseph and things like that. Lets start the story!
One party of knights were called the Felanges and they were having to walk through rainy marshlands. They carried Joseph the cat in a box of fibreglass to keep him drowzy to stop him noticing that he was wet and attacking them all. They headed up the hills in search of clues but there was nothing to be found except for a big pile of rocks at the top of the hill. They decided to head back down but at that particular moment, Allister fell over clutching his heart trying to pull out a big arrow that was on fire. "ARRGGGGGGHHHH!" he screamed. Then he died. The rest of the army were afraid the same would happen to them and they all made and attempt at grabbing Joseph the cat from inside his box but their leader, Peder McNulty decided that he would hold Joseph and protect the rest of the army from the thing that was a danger to them.
Back at the castle, King Wabbledegook was watching a TV show. Even though this was around a time around 46 years after the last dinosaur had died, TV was around, but then it became extinct and came back as the TV you know it as now. "Willy's not going to get that far. I drugged his tea." came a strong English accent from the TV screen. The King laughed and then remembered he was meant to be sombre as his army was finding his lost Literature which he was sad he couldn't find.
The second group of soldiers were called the Franteninas. They were Italian and all had a gift of being able to play a banjo. Their cat called Joseph was on a mini throne that was floating and he was playing a sacred bongo tune to ward off the enemy. These guys were on an island after a person called Moses came along and helped them get across the sea. It may sound familiar to you that bit. Then suddenly a huge rabbit made of wood and about 55 metres in area came hurtling through the air and landed on their group of knights. They all died instanly, even the cat Joseph but out of the wreckage crawled their leader, Barneyhovic. He ran forwards and was attacked by an eel that had just come out of the ground. It goobled his arms and legs off before eating the rest in one go. That was the 2nd army wiped out so only 2 were left now. The King was informed of this so he sat up all night, screaming about horiffic eels and great big bunnies. "GRRRRRRRR!" he shouted at the end before falling asleep at 2.58 am in the morning.
The 3rd group, called the Bamboozlers headed right into the Terisha Forest itself. They were right in the centre when a big beating could be heard nearby. THUMP! THUMP! Then a big monster came up from the roots of a tree and ate half of the army, but then it saw Joseph the cat, who was in a wicker basket and ran off out of the forest and up the hills. And in it's hole the 53 men left found that there was a box with sacred words on it. Holy holes of Hollyhead will make a hole in a hole of your heart. They opened the box and saw a bit of paper. "The sacred writing" one of the men stated. "Oh yeah, so it is," said the other one. So they headed back to the king's castle in Marshvelow. They showed the king the box and he was opening it when suddenly he had a heart attack. "Oh my god!" shouted one of the men. "He's dead!" "And he never got to read the notes of the forgotten Terisha Forest either." "Ah well," said a another, "Now we get to run the country!" YAY they all cheered.
If you want to know what happened to the first group then I will tell you that they fell in with a group of rather nasty buffalos and they are now all in the Mafia of Sweden. The sacred notes had read "Willy's not going to get that far. I put a hegdehog in his tea!" And next to it, the paper said *use in cheesy English accent* So it turned out that the mral of the story was that you should errrrr .... never ...... errrrr ...... there is no moral to this story.
Anyway, thanks for reading, Afro.
"I demand to know!" barked King Wabbledegook from across the room to his knights, "where the lost literature of the forgotten Terisha Forest may be!" "We don't know sir," squeaked the knights timidly. "WELL GET OUT OF MY ROOM THEN!" shouted the King. The King was a desparate man while he was after the Literature of the Terisha Forest or his sons would die when they became 2 years old. He didn't have any sons or even a wife who could bring the gift to have those kids so all the people in the kingdom of Marshvelow were confused as to why he needed the literature but the king had a deeper darker secret. There were hidden words in the literature that he needed to awaken the Great Humberta, King of Winchester so that the king could rule all of Englandville. (England hadn't been invented back then but Winchester had, queer eh?)
The next day the King had assembled a route for his most trustworthy and squeaky knights in his kingdom. He had sat up late in his burgandy throne the night before, pondering on what to d and he had found a perfect plan at exactly 4.37 am precisely 6 minutes before he needed to go to the toilet after feeling a sharp pain in his bowels. The plan was that he would send out 3 parties of knights to explore the hidden world of Pasedena in search of clues. Each army of knights was accompanied by a cat called Joseph. Cats called Joseph were sacred in those days. Each one had the power to make other armies dance around and pull faces at their superiors which ended up in the superiors chopping their inferiors heads off and losing due to lack of army but enough mumbling on about cats called Joseph and things like that. Lets start the story!
One party of knights were called the Felanges and they were having to walk through rainy marshlands. They carried Joseph the cat in a box of fibreglass to keep him drowzy to stop him noticing that he was wet and attacking them all. They headed up the hills in search of clues but there was nothing to be found except for a big pile of rocks at the top of the hill. They decided to head back down but at that particular moment, Allister fell over clutching his heart trying to pull out a big arrow that was on fire. "ARRGGGGGGHHHH!" he screamed. Then he died. The rest of the army were afraid the same would happen to them and they all made and attempt at grabbing Joseph the cat from inside his box but their leader, Peder McNulty decided that he would hold Joseph and protect the rest of the army from the thing that was a danger to them.
Back at the castle, King Wabbledegook was watching a TV show. Even though this was around a time around 46 years after the last dinosaur had died, TV was around, but then it became extinct and came back as the TV you know it as now. "Willy's not going to get that far. I drugged his tea." came a strong English accent from the TV screen. The King laughed and then remembered he was meant to be sombre as his army was finding his lost Literature which he was sad he couldn't find.
The second group of soldiers were called the Franteninas. They were Italian and all had a gift of being able to play a banjo. Their cat called Joseph was on a mini throne that was floating and he was playing a sacred bongo tune to ward off the enemy. These guys were on an island after a person called Moses came along and helped them get across the sea. It may sound familiar to you that bit. Then suddenly a huge rabbit made of wood and about 55 metres in area came hurtling through the air and landed on their group of knights. They all died instanly, even the cat Joseph but out of the wreckage crawled their leader, Barneyhovic. He ran forwards and was attacked by an eel that had just come out of the ground. It goobled his arms and legs off before eating the rest in one go. That was the 2nd army wiped out so only 2 were left now. The King was informed of this so he sat up all night, screaming about horiffic eels and great big bunnies. "GRRRRRRRR!" he shouted at the end before falling asleep at 2.58 am in the morning.
The 3rd group, called the Bamboozlers headed right into the Terisha Forest itself. They were right in the centre when a big beating could be heard nearby. THUMP! THUMP! Then a big monster came up from the roots of a tree and ate half of the army, but then it saw Joseph the cat, who was in a wicker basket and ran off out of the forest and up the hills. And in it's hole the 53 men left found that there was a box with sacred words on it. Holy holes of Hollyhead will make a hole in a hole of your heart. They opened the box and saw a bit of paper. "The sacred writing" one of the men stated. "Oh yeah, so it is," said the other one. So they headed back to the king's castle in Marshvelow. They showed the king the box and he was opening it when suddenly he had a heart attack. "Oh my god!" shouted one of the men. "He's dead!" "And he never got to read the notes of the forgotten Terisha Forest either." "Ah well," said a another, "Now we get to run the country!" YAY they all cheered.
If you want to know what happened to the first group then I will tell you that they fell in with a group of rather nasty buffalos and they are now all in the Mafia of Sweden. The sacred notes had read "Willy's not going to get that far. I put a hegdehog in his tea!" And next to it, the paper said *use in cheesy English accent* So it turned out that the mral of the story was that you should errrrr .... never ...... errrrr ...... there is no moral to this story.
Anyway, thanks for reading, Afro.
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Heh, that was so peculiar it made me laugh.
Pop.
:-D
:-D
Corporal Reddles you plank, stop quoting messages like that and putting about 2 words on the end.
I dunno.
Terrible, I tell you.
Terrible, I tell you.
Best. Topic. EVER!
Made me laugh, how the hell didnt you win GAD for this?
:D
Made me laugh, how the hell didnt you win GAD for this?
:D
LOL!
What a ponce I was back then!
:D :D :D
What a ponce I was back then!
:D :D :D
Tiltawhirl wrote:
> Tell me Afro, had you been drinking when you wrote this?
errrrrr, sort of. ;-)
> Tell me Afro, had you been drinking when you wrote this?
errrrrr, sort of. ;-)
Tell me Afro, had you been drinking when you wrote this?
3 very exciting posts there BC. Hmmm.
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