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Windows is the most used computer operating system in the world and is used absolutely everywhere. Since the programme is used all over the world, some additions could be made to suit different groups better.
Aussie Windows 98
The ‘start’ button is replaced my a more frequently used ‘G’Day Mate’
The recycle bin is renamed as “Crap I don’t need”
And the control panel has a more down to earth title, “How to screw around with the settings.”
The boringly named [C:] drive is titled “Big disk with all my stuff on it!”
’Yes’, ‘No’ and ‘Cancel’ are replaced by ‘Alright Mate’, ‘****** off’ and ‘Get out of it’.
The find feature has a new title, “Where’s that bloody file gone!?”
The generic American ‘OK’ is replaced by a more Aussie, “You Ripper!”
Alternative software is named for ease of use. Microsoft paint is entitled “Keeping the kids busy”, Calculator is called “Adding thingymabob” and the notepad is titled, “Writing death threats to the boss.”
Aussie windows is sure you be big down under, when they get computers that is…
Scouser Windows 2000
The start tab would be replaced with “Ay!” which means oh so many things in Liverpool.
’My Documents’ has changed its name to “My *****”
Instead of playing the traditional Windows entrance music when the machine is turned on, a rendition of “Ferry across the Mersey” squeals out from the speakers.
’Yes’, ‘No’ and ‘Cancel’ are replaced by ‘Ay!’, ‘Not a chance’ and ‘Get lost’
The internet explorer caption will say “Porn!” and the Microsoft paint will be named, “Funny drawing thingy.”
The Scouser Windows 2000 was discontinued because nobody would actually pay for a copy, they would simply hijack the truck and steal the lot of them.
Townie Windows 2002
The start button is replaced by a key that says, “What you looking at?” in a true townie style.
The Windows music that plays when the computer is turned on is replaced by a crappy techno mix of “Cry me a river”.
The recycle bin is harshly named “Crap I don’t want, coz I’m ‘ard”
The slogan, “Where do you want to go today?” is replaced by “Where do you want to get stoned today?”
When logging onto the internet, instead of Connie’s “Welcome to AOL” message, the townie gets an, “Alrite mush, ‘owz it goin’?”
’Yes’, ‘No’ and ‘Cancel’ are replaced by ‘Alrite’, ‘As if!’ and ‘Shut up you git’
On the internet, certain bookmarks are already made on certain websites, (Rockport.com, Burberry.com, Carbrini.com and ciggies.com)
The ‘My Pictures’ folder will be simply categorised into “Porn”, “Birds I’ve pulled” and “Cars what we have robbed.”
The find feature is renamed, “Eh, where’s that bloody thing gone?”
The “OK” on pop-ups has changed to “innit”
The internet tools has changed its name to “How to try and hack into well important files and that.”
Townie Windows was all set to be a huge success until developers realised that Townies don’t have a clue how to operate a machine and the Dole money wouldn’t pay for the software.
Alcoholic Windows XP
The ‘Start’ tab is to be replaced by ‘Place Order’ in a true bar style
The find feature is now called, “Eh? Where that gone?”
The ‘time and date’ feature has a hangover planner to allow you to recover from your binge
The slogan, “Where do you want to go today?” is replaced by “Where do you want to get drunk today?”
The Windows music that plays when the computer is turned on is replaced by a rowdy pub cheer.
The recycle bin is now named “Just make it go away!”
The ‘Log off” button states, “I’m home, take me drunk”
The “OK” on pop-ups has changed to “eh?”
’Yes’, ‘No’ and ‘Cancel’ are replaced by ‘What?’, ‘What? and ‘Erm, What?’
The screensaver will be dancing beer cans and the wallpaper will be set as ‘Best places I have been drunk’
Due to the fact alcoholics tend to blow all of their money on booze, the games development was cancelled and the staff were all fired for coming up with such an idiotic idea.
Thanks for reading, hope I didn’t offend anyone by this but if I did (I know how picky you all are) I am sorry.
Aussie Windows 98
The ‘start’ button is replaced my a more frequently used ‘G’Day Mate’
The recycle bin is renamed as “Crap I don’t need”
And the control panel has a more down to earth title, “How to screw around with the settings.”
The boringly named [C:] drive is titled “Big disk with all my stuff on it!”
’Yes’, ‘No’ and ‘Cancel’ are replaced by ‘Alright Mate’, ‘****** off’ and ‘Get out of it’.
The find feature has a new title, “Where’s that bloody file gone!?”
The generic American ‘OK’ is replaced by a more Aussie, “You Ripper!”
Alternative software is named for ease of use. Microsoft paint is entitled “Keeping the kids busy”, Calculator is called “Adding thingymabob” and the notepad is titled, “Writing death threats to the boss.”
Aussie windows is sure you be big down under, when they get computers that is…
Scouser Windows 2000
The start tab would be replaced with “Ay!” which means oh so many things in Liverpool.
’My Documents’ has changed its name to “My *****”
Instead of playing the traditional Windows entrance music when the machine is turned on, a rendition of “Ferry across the Mersey” squeals out from the speakers.
’Yes’, ‘No’ and ‘Cancel’ are replaced by ‘Ay!’, ‘Not a chance’ and ‘Get lost’
The internet explorer caption will say “Porn!” and the Microsoft paint will be named, “Funny drawing thingy.”
The Scouser Windows 2000 was discontinued because nobody would actually pay for a copy, they would simply hijack the truck and steal the lot of them.
Townie Windows 2002
The start button is replaced by a key that says, “What you looking at?” in a true townie style.
The Windows music that plays when the computer is turned on is replaced by a crappy techno mix of “Cry me a river”.
The recycle bin is harshly named “Crap I don’t want, coz I’m ‘ard”
The slogan, “Where do you want to go today?” is replaced by “Where do you want to get stoned today?”
When logging onto the internet, instead of Connie’s “Welcome to AOL” message, the townie gets an, “Alrite mush, ‘owz it goin’?”
’Yes’, ‘No’ and ‘Cancel’ are replaced by ‘Alrite’, ‘As if!’ and ‘Shut up you git’
On the internet, certain bookmarks are already made on certain websites, (Rockport.com, Burberry.com, Carbrini.com and ciggies.com)
The ‘My Pictures’ folder will be simply categorised into “Porn”, “Birds I’ve pulled” and “Cars what we have robbed.”
The find feature is renamed, “Eh, where’s that bloody thing gone?”
The “OK” on pop-ups has changed to “innit”
The internet tools has changed its name to “How to try and hack into well important files and that.”
Townie Windows was all set to be a huge success until developers realised that Townies don’t have a clue how to operate a machine and the Dole money wouldn’t pay for the software.
Alcoholic Windows XP
The ‘Start’ tab is to be replaced by ‘Place Order’ in a true bar style
The find feature is now called, “Eh? Where that gone?”
The ‘time and date’ feature has a hangover planner to allow you to recover from your binge
The slogan, “Where do you want to go today?” is replaced by “Where do you want to get drunk today?”
The Windows music that plays when the computer is turned on is replaced by a rowdy pub cheer.
The recycle bin is now named “Just make it go away!”
The ‘Log off” button states, “I’m home, take me drunk”
The “OK” on pop-ups has changed to “eh?”
’Yes’, ‘No’ and ‘Cancel’ are replaced by ‘What?’, ‘What? and ‘Erm, What?’
The screensaver will be dancing beer cans and the wallpaper will be set as ‘Best places I have been drunk’
Due to the fact alcoholics tend to blow all of their money on booze, the games development was cancelled and the staff were all fired for coming up with such an idiotic idea.
Thanks for reading, hope I didn’t offend anyone by this but if I did (I know how picky you all are) I am sorry.
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Stolen from various websites...
Very funny mate :D
Judah Ben-Hur wrote:
> I have a few quips. As well as the usual scousers are muggers
> stereotype, there is a large mistake in the Townies section.
> "dole money", the thing is, every townie I have ever had the
> unfortunate pleasure to hear still yabbers on about dole scum and how
> they should go and get a job. When they are setting fire to a car,
> writing something illegible on a flat surface, or
> "blazin'"
>
> Instead of this new £80 squids fine malarky name and shame they
> should have give back the £80 you stole then the police maim and
> shame you (a naked flogging would suit it nicely, followed by a
> chaining up and nail-throwing session.
>
> Sometimes too far is never enough.
> Death by mow-mow?
Yo, can we get a moron to translate this for the rest of the world?
> I have a few quips. As well as the usual scousers are muggers
> stereotype, there is a large mistake in the Townies section.
> "dole money", the thing is, every townie I have ever had the
> unfortunate pleasure to hear still yabbers on about dole scum and how
> they should go and get a job. When they are setting fire to a car,
> writing something illegible on a flat surface, or
> "blazin'"
>
> Instead of this new £80 squids fine malarky name and shame they
> should have give back the £80 you stole then the police maim and
> shame you (a naked flogging would suit it nicely, followed by a
> chaining up and nail-throwing session.
>
> Sometimes too far is never enough.
> Death by mow-mow?
Yo, can we get a moron to translate this for the rest of the world?
What ARE you on about JBH?
I have a few quips. As well as the usual scousers are muggers stereotype, there is a large mistake in the Townies section. "dole money", the thing is, every townie I have ever had the unfortunate pleasure to hear still yabbers on about dole scum and how they should go and get a job. When they are setting fire to a car, writing something illegible on a flat surface, or "blazin'"
Instead of this new £80 squids fine malarky name and shame they should have give back the £80 you stole then the police maim and shame you (a naked flogging would suit it nicely, followed by a chaining up and nail-throwing session.
Sometimes too far is never enough.
Death by mow-mow?
Instead of this new £80 squids fine malarky name and shame they should have give back the £80 you stole then the police maim and shame you (a naked flogging would suit it nicely, followed by a chaining up and nail-throwing session.
Sometimes too far is never enough.
Death by mow-mow?
Erm not original
Windows: Phonics edition was good. As was Geordie edition.
When I saw them a year ago.
Replaced "Internet Explorer" with "porn".
When I saw them a year ago.
Replaced "Internet Explorer" with "porn".
Azul wrote:
> But none of it is his work....
Yes, it is. I was inspired by the Aussie one and used a few of those but the rest was made up my your truly.
> But none of it is his work....
Yes, it is. I was inspired by the Aussie one and used a few of those but the rest was made up my your truly.
Reload wrote:
> Another great post.
> What do you have for breakfast?
Weatabix, of course!
> Another great post.
> What do you have for breakfast?
Weatabix, of course!
But none of it is his work....
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