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Anyways, I take a backstage pass along to many of the greatest games developers in the world. Of course, I made them on Microsoft Publisher, and they were not stupid. I got thrown onto my behind by 13 of the 14 developers... Rage, however begged me for money, I told them I had nothing, but they ripped off my trousers, onlookers smiled, I kicked their faces into the rough tarmac.
That will teach them...
Well, after my 'brave' behaviour, SEGA allowed me onto their premises, despite calling me a git, only half an hour before. I saw blood, I saw bones, I saw more guts than the latest Mortal Kombat.
After many hours over the toilet, I had drained myself of all the internal food, and some ingredients, I had never known I had devoured...
I spent hours looking at it, but strangely it looked like some sort of rhinoceros. I glared in disbelief, up until at funny looking Japanese man tapped me on the shoulder and told me I was in the ladies toilets. I declared "what are you doing here, then"... I regret doing that... What I saw was a product of modern science, and hours of surgery. I. Ran. Like. Hell.
I was greeted by the small blue hedgehog we all know and love, upon leaving the ladies room. Cigar in mouth, heroin needle in arm, I began to question this drugged up monstrosity. He says that he doesn't need to work anymore, its all done by his double take. I walked away before he bit me in the face.
Into the main area, where all the Sega classics were produced, Monkey Ball, Sonic, NiGhTs, Panzer Dragoon Orta, I met all the legends of the gaming world.
I saw the production of the latest Sonic game, I Saw stunts that even Mr. Hawks himself would be proud of, I saw more flesh than Mr. Lector would even dare to think about... This place was sick. *Is sick*
I saw the Sonic double attempt the loop-de-loop from the first cut scene, around 43 times. It never failed to amuse me the way his eyes closed, just before his cranium cracked on the unpadded ground. Yu Suzuki was jumping up and down like a madman, like a crazed maniac, laughing so violently his eyes watered, and his nose bled. I continued to the next room.
Super Monkey Ball 3 was in creation, but apparently the apes weren't performing correctly. "Bring on the whip" one man exclaimed, "Milk and two sugars" another one announced. The apes were vicious things, and attempted to bite me many times, I kicked them, they screamed, I chuckled. The latest minigame 'Monkey cricket' was in progress. The balls often smashed into pieces, just like baby monkeys skull often would. As you could imagine, in SEGA HQ, there were many crazed, malformed, creatures, I decided to complain about the staff at the end of the day.
The next room would end my journey. Unsuspectedly i stepped into the room of Shenmue. Shenmue 3 was a 'work in progress' title. Ryo immediately approached me, and ask me so many questions, my ears burnt, in anger. "Which way to the porridge house?", "Where could I find Li?", "why are you poking me with a stick? you stupid moron". I couldn't take his antics, I snapped. I threw a small prop in his face, little did i know, this prop was a young boy of the age of seven. I tried to run, but i was lifted into the air. I was on the set for the latest NiGhT's game, the purple-hatted fiend taunted, mocked, and stripped me of my dignity. I tried to fly, but I fell to the ground...
A shadow approached me; I flung a stone at the being...
I forgot about Shinobi. Sword in back, I stumbled out of SEGA HQ. I fell to the floor, to take my final breath.
"I don't care how they make them, SEGA do make quality games, don't they?"
*Is dead*
Let this be a lesson… Always make fake tickets on Publisher if you are looking for a cheap suicide.
Cheers
A spoof may be created in the future...
Another intresting post from you. Keep it up. Maybe a spoof with SR members sometime soon as Drunk Cow seems to have gone AWOL.
Anyways, I take a backstage pass along to many of the greatest games developers in the world. Of course, I made them on Microsoft Publisher, and they were not stupid. I got thrown onto my behind by 13 of the 14 developers... Rage, however begged me for money, I told them I had nothing, but they ripped off my trousers, onlookers smiled, I kicked their faces into the rough tarmac.
That will teach them...
Well, after my 'brave' behaviour, SEGA allowed me onto their premises, despite calling me a git, only half an hour before. I saw blood, I saw bones, I saw more guts than the latest Mortal Kombat.
After many hours over the toilet, I had drained myself of all the internal food, and some ingredients, I had never known I had devoured...
I spent hours looking at it, but strangely it looked like some sort of rhinoceros. I glared in disbelief, up until at funny looking Japanese man tapped me on the shoulder and told me I was in the ladies toilets. I declared "what are you doing here, then"... I regret doing that... What I saw was a product of modern science, and hours of surgery. I. Ran. Like. Hell.
I was greeted by the small blue hedgehog we all know and love, upon leaving the ladies room. Cigar in mouth, heroin needle in arm, I began to question this drugged up monstrosity. He says that he doesn't need to work anymore, its all done by his double take. I walked away before he bit me in the face.
Into the main area, where all the Sega classics were produced, Monkey Ball, Sonic, NiGhTs, Panzer Dragoon Orta, I met all the legends of the gaming world.
I saw the production of the latest Sonic game, I Saw stunts that even Mr. Hawks himself would be proud of, I saw more flesh than Mr. Lector would even dare to think about... This place was sick. *Is sick*
I saw the Sonic double attempt the loop-de-loop from the first cut scene, around 43 times. It never failed to amuse me the way his eyes closed, just before his cranium cracked on the unpadded ground. Yu Suzuki was jumping up and down like a madman, like a crazed maniac, laughing so violently his eyes watered, and his nose bled. I continued to the next room.
Super Monkey Ball 3 was in creation, but apparently the apes weren't performing correctly. "Bring on the whip" one man exclaimed, "Milk and two sugars" another one announced. The apes were vicious things, and attempted to bite me many times, I kicked them, they screamed, I chuckled. The latest minigame 'Monkey cricket' was in progress. The balls often smashed into pieces, just like baby monkeys skull often would. As you could imagine, in SEGA HQ, there were many crazed, malformed, creatures, I decided to complain about the staff at the end of the day.
The next room would end my journey. Unsuspectedly i stepped into the room of Shenmue. Shenmue 3 was a 'work in progress' title. Ryo immediately approached me, and ask me so many questions, my ears burnt, in anger. "Which way to the porridge house?", "Where could I find Li?", "why are you poking me with a stick? you stupid moron". I couldn't take his antics, I snapped. I threw a small prop in his face, little did i know, this prop was a young boy of the age of seven. I tried to run, but i was lifted into the air. I was on the set for the latest NiGhT's game, the purple-hatted fiend taunted, mocked, and stripped me of my dignity. I tried to fly, but I fell to the ground...
A shadow approached me; I flung a stone at the being...
I forgot about Shinobi. Sword in back, I stumbled out of SEGA HQ. I fell to the floor, to take my final breath.
"I don't care how they make them, SEGA do make quality games, don't they?"
*Is dead*
Let this be a lesson… Always make fake tickets on Publisher if you are looking for a cheap suicide.
Cheers