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Hidden Cameras. A source of endless fun, humiliation of others and, of course, badly funded TV shows. But what would happen if Video Games’ brightest and best stars were ‘Caught on tape’ without knowing?
My friends, enter the private lives’ of computer games characters.
Mario
Mario, up front, seems like a regular sort of guy. Happy, saves princess’ etc etc, but really, deep down, we have a drug addict.
You see, it all started way back in the era of the NES. As innocent as I was, and I blame my age, I was too young to notice that Mario had an obsession with Magic Mushrooms. I decided to delve further into the situation, so I placed a hidden camera in his home, situated in the mushroom kingdom…
Mario: Urg, too early. Rough night last night, eh?
Random woman: Yeah. My head…
Mario: I feel like a scotch!
Woman: Mario, no, you’ll become an alchy.
Mario: BECOME?
Woman: Sorry, you’ll spark up old habits…
Mario: Stupid woman. Live hard, die young I say! Now, let’s get back top business…
*Hours later*
*In smokey room*
Mario: Woo! I’m high and I can feeeeeeeeeel it!
Woman: Mario, honestly, I’ve told you time and time again, drugs are illegal.
Mario: So? Like I actually care. What, with saving the princess and drinking, I never have time to have fun. Christ, it’s not like I’m getting stoned every day…
Woman: Every two days is just as bad.
Mario: Stupid woman. Why are you even here? You had better not be pregnant…
Woman: What? I’m out of here…
Mario: Fine, but before you go, get me that bottle of scotch that’s by the door…
As you can see, Mario isn’t really the plumber we all know and love. In response to this, Mario commented that, “It was an invasion of privacy” and that “I was faking it. I had smoke machines in the cupboard”. The random woman declined to comment on the matter.
Now, moving on, there’s also another character that’s been prone to be addicted to drugs. Sonic. How do you think he runs so fast? And Tails, he doesn’t reach those speeds by rotating his two tails! Yuji Naka wanted to live through his characters, and Sonic was formed during that night out with the lads in that dodgy-looking bar. Anyway, to set things straight once and for all, I placed a camera in his bedroom, just to make sure.
--------------
Sonic: Hey, Tails, hand me the stuff.
Tails: Hey, we’re doing it again? Sweet!
Sonic: Come on, hurry up. I gotta go leg it through the Chemical Plant zone again…
Tails: Alright then. Here you are…
*later*
Sonic: Woo! The speed! Damn that stuff is good.
Tails: Yeah! This rocks! So Sonic, what you gonna do when we get back?
Sonic: Wanna get drunk? Chilli dawg?
Tails: Hell yeah! Let's go!
----------
Another poor misguided soul. Still, he is fast, so we can turn a blind eye to it all…
Now, the next unsuspecting character was no other than Link. Earlier this year, it was unknown whether or not Link was rustling horses from Lon Lon farm. After hiding two secret camera's- one in the stables and one in his tree house, we have finally found the answer….
--------------
Link: Right, what's the time? Ah yes, time to go and do 'business'. Hmm…
*10 minute walk later*
Link: Ah, here we are, Lon Lon farm. Now, time to sneak in unnoticed.
*Enters stables*
Link: Aha, here we go. Now, Epona, just move over here, yeah, good. I had better do this before they come in a notice me. There we go, all set. Now, for real business… HEY! There's a bloody camera in here! Well, it's nothing an ice arrow can't fix…
*Back at treehouse*
Link: Yep, I'm gonna make a lot of money from this… who'd have thought selling manure could get you so many rupees?
--------------
There you go folks, it's settled. Link does NOT rustle horses; rather, he sells their manure.
Moving on, the next unsuspecting person just so happened to be Master Chief. We placed a hidden camera in his warthog, as he was going out for a picnic…
--------------
Master Chief: You know what Barry? I'm sick and tired of pretending to be some super human. *Draws from fag* I only wanted to be some random man with a gun, no fancy suits, no fancy aliens, no fancy words. A real down to earth madman with a gun.
Barry: Yeah, I understand. Damn Gates. He couldn't let Bungie get on with it, could he?
MC: Nope, the imbecile. Just think, I could have been mowing down helpless people in the streets, but no, Mr. "I wear glasses and I have so much money my toaster is gold" Gates decided that it wasn't enough…
*Flicks fag butt*
Barry: Hey man, take it easy. Just go take him down or something.
MC: nah, there's no point. Besides, I've only got one more game to film and then I can go back to teaching Aerobics to young women in tight clothes…
Barry: Indeed. Ah well, we better get back to work.
MC: *sigh* Oh well, an actors life is never done.
----------
Well, that's a turn for the worse. Master Chief is unhappy with his life, Mario is constantly getting stoned, Sonic is hooked on steroids, and Link sells manure. And to think, if we didn't have hidden cameras, we'd have never known a thing.
Excuse me while I shudder *Shudder*
My friends, enter the private lives’ of computer games characters.
Mario
Mario, up front, seems like a regular sort of guy. Happy, saves princess’ etc etc, but really, deep down, we have a drug addict.
You see, it all started way back in the era of the NES. As innocent as I was, and I blame my age, I was too young to notice that Mario had an obsession with Magic Mushrooms. I decided to delve further into the situation, so I placed a hidden camera in his home, situated in the mushroom kingdom…
Mario: Urg, too early. Rough night last night, eh?
Random woman: Yeah. My head…
Mario: I feel like a scotch!
Woman: Mario, no, you’ll become an alchy.
Mario: BECOME?
Woman: Sorry, you’ll spark up old habits…
Mario: Stupid woman. Live hard, die young I say! Now, let’s get back top business…
*Hours later*
*In smokey room*
Mario: Woo! I’m high and I can feeeeeeeeeel it!
Woman: Mario, honestly, I’ve told you time and time again, drugs are illegal.
Mario: So? Like I actually care. What, with saving the princess and drinking, I never have time to have fun. Christ, it’s not like I’m getting stoned every day…
Woman: Every two days is just as bad.
Mario: Stupid woman. Why are you even here? You had better not be pregnant…
Woman: What? I’m out of here…
Mario: Fine, but before you go, get me that bottle of scotch that’s by the door…
As you can see, Mario isn’t really the plumber we all know and love. In response to this, Mario commented that, “It was an invasion of privacy” and that “I was faking it. I had smoke machines in the cupboard”. The random woman declined to comment on the matter.
Now, moving on, there’s also another character that’s been prone to be addicted to drugs. Sonic. How do you think he runs so fast? And Tails, he doesn’t reach those speeds by rotating his two tails! Yuji Naka wanted to live through his characters, and Sonic was formed during that night out with the lads in that dodgy-looking bar. Anyway, to set things straight once and for all, I placed a camera in his bedroom, just to make sure.
--------------
Sonic: Hey, Tails, hand me the stuff.
Tails: Hey, we’re doing it again? Sweet!
Sonic: Come on, hurry up. I gotta go leg it through the Chemical Plant zone again…
Tails: Alright then. Here you are…
*later*
Sonic: Woo! The speed! Damn that stuff is good.
Tails: Yeah! This rocks! So Sonic, what you gonna do when we get back?
Sonic: Wanna get drunk? Chilli dawg?
Tails: Hell yeah! Let's go!
----------
Another poor misguided soul. Still, he is fast, so we can turn a blind eye to it all…
Now, the next unsuspecting character was no other than Link. Earlier this year, it was unknown whether or not Link was rustling horses from Lon Lon farm. After hiding two secret camera's- one in the stables and one in his tree house, we have finally found the answer….
--------------
Link: Right, what's the time? Ah yes, time to go and do 'business'. Hmm…
*10 minute walk later*
Link: Ah, here we are, Lon Lon farm. Now, time to sneak in unnoticed.
*Enters stables*
Link: Aha, here we go. Now, Epona, just move over here, yeah, good. I had better do this before they come in a notice me. There we go, all set. Now, for real business… HEY! There's a bloody camera in here! Well, it's nothing an ice arrow can't fix…
*Back at treehouse*
Link: Yep, I'm gonna make a lot of money from this… who'd have thought selling manure could get you so many rupees?
--------------
There you go folks, it's settled. Link does NOT rustle horses; rather, he sells their manure.
Moving on, the next unsuspecting person just so happened to be Master Chief. We placed a hidden camera in his warthog, as he was going out for a picnic…
--------------
Master Chief: You know what Barry? I'm sick and tired of pretending to be some super human. *Draws from fag* I only wanted to be some random man with a gun, no fancy suits, no fancy aliens, no fancy words. A real down to earth madman with a gun.
Barry: Yeah, I understand. Damn Gates. He couldn't let Bungie get on with it, could he?
MC: Nope, the imbecile. Just think, I could have been mowing down helpless people in the streets, but no, Mr. "I wear glasses and I have so much money my toaster is gold" Gates decided that it wasn't enough…
*Flicks fag butt*
Barry: Hey man, take it easy. Just go take him down or something.
MC: nah, there's no point. Besides, I've only got one more game to film and then I can go back to teaching Aerobics to young women in tight clothes…
Barry: Indeed. Ah well, we better get back to work.
MC: *sigh* Oh well, an actors life is never done.
----------
Well, that's a turn for the worse. Master Chief is unhappy with his life, Mario is constantly getting stoned, Sonic is hooked on steroids, and Link sells manure. And to think, if we didn't have hidden cameras, we'd have never known a thing.
Excuse me while I shudder *Shudder*
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BEARDS. wrote:
> What the hell were you doing up at 7am?
Was he writing that post? Or is this a trick question?
> What the hell were you doing up at 7am?
Was he writing that post? Or is this a trick question?
Heh great post as per usual matey :-)
Cheers guys.
I was checking an auction on eBay, so I decided to post it then, you see...
:)
I was checking an auction on eBay, so I decided to post it then, you see...
:)
Heh, that was good.
Another great 'un from Chipseh.
Another great 'un from Chipseh.
Wahey, another good post Microchips
=D
=D
What the hell were you doing up at 7am?
Good good good.
:-)
:-)
Thanks guys, thanks very much.
Mental note- never post topics at 7:00 in the morning...
Mental note- never post topics at 7:00 in the morning...
"*Flicks fag butt* "
Ahhh double meanings.
This was trés amusant mr shipseh, trés amusant.
I liked the whole *hours later* thing with Mario and the woman.
Ahhh double meanings.
This was trés amusant mr shipseh, trés amusant.
I liked the whole *hours later* thing with Mario and the woman.
Hehe. Good posty-posty-post-pasta-post.
Hmm......pasta.
:)
Links always had a dark-er side. Dark Link!
I need sleep....
Hmm......pasta.
:)
Links always had a dark-er side. Dark Link!
I need sleep....
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