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Ok, this is the next instalment in Hideo Kojima’s mighty Metal Gear series.
I got this info from www.gulliblefooleatmypants.com so don’t tell anyone else.
They were going to go with Metal Gear Barry, considering how rubbish Metal Gear Ray’s name was in Sons Of Liberty.
The idea was to have Solid Snake (anyone else getting porno-images from that name?) having to infiltrate the top-secret government drinking establishment called the “SIR YES SIR”, where loads of jarhead Marines sat about playing Flashpoint and calling it training.
Snake would have to battle the final boss, Metal Gear Barry.
A hulking monster of a barman with facial scars, a crew-cut and dead eyes.
Like a shark’s.
You would be able to defeat Metal Gear Barry only by utilising the “Spelling test” dartgun, which would force the victim to submit to various logistic puzzles, upon which he lumber around the bar shouting “Barry Smash!” and attacking mirrors “cos they looked at him funny”.
But Kojima realised this idea was rubbish.
So they binned it.
And instead came up with quite possibly the most ingenious idea yet:
Metal Gear Frank Butcher
Sons of Rickeeeeeeeeeeee
In this, you only play Snake for a small portion of the game, whereupon you assume the character of “Rickee”.
Rickee is a simple chap of limited intelligence, who spends his days fixing cars and looking like a dog that’s been showed a card trick.
You discover a plan by a character known only as “Pat”, a short pug-faced woman with really bad hair and a face like a bag of spanners. Her plan is to flood the Western Market with rubbish cars that will explode on contact with motorways.
And her weapon to sell these cars?
Metal Gear Frank Butcher.
An enormous, balding cockney fighting machine that clunks about shouting “RICKEEEEE” with his metallic rasp.
His only weaknesses are massive pairs of tinted specs that make him look like a monkey wearing coke bottles and a sheepskin coat, from which he draws his powers of sub-sonic voice blast.
As the simple fool “Rickee”, it is up to you to completely fail to notice your wife’s septum has fallen out from doing “too much snow” and to generally stumble about the game trying not to walk into scenery.
You have the “confused moron” attack, where you stand and scratch your greasy head until enemies walk off in disgust and you are free to move on towards the final conflict with Metal Gear Frank Butcher.
Upon meeting Metal Gear Frank, you must stand there and look like you’re trying to work out a really hard maths problem, whilst Metal Gear Frank smiles and flashes his big white teeth in a rictus grin.
Like a shark.
Kojima has been reported as saying “This game is rubbish and I made it all up.”
Reporters laughed and fawned, giving the idea 10/10 already and clamouring for advance copies – demanding to know what was next?
Kojima shook his head and said “Metal Gear Shopping List?”, wherein the entire room burst into applause and asked to see it.
Kojima shrugged and showed them a receipt from his garage for an Aero, two bottles of coke and some coal – upon which every games site in the world awarded Kojima “Master of Everything” and cast giant bronze statues in his likeness.
I got this info from www.gulliblefooleatmypants.com so don’t tell anyone else.
They were going to go with Metal Gear Barry, considering how rubbish Metal Gear Ray’s name was in Sons Of Liberty.
The idea was to have Solid Snake (anyone else getting porno-images from that name?) having to infiltrate the top-secret government drinking establishment called the “SIR YES SIR”, where loads of jarhead Marines sat about playing Flashpoint and calling it training.
Snake would have to battle the final boss, Metal Gear Barry.
A hulking monster of a barman with facial scars, a crew-cut and dead eyes.
Like a shark’s.
You would be able to defeat Metal Gear Barry only by utilising the “Spelling test” dartgun, which would force the victim to submit to various logistic puzzles, upon which he lumber around the bar shouting “Barry Smash!” and attacking mirrors “cos they looked at him funny”.
But Kojima realised this idea was rubbish.
So they binned it.
And instead came up with quite possibly the most ingenious idea yet:
Metal Gear Frank Butcher
Sons of Rickeeeeeeeeeeee
In this, you only play Snake for a small portion of the game, whereupon you assume the character of “Rickee”.
Rickee is a simple chap of limited intelligence, who spends his days fixing cars and looking like a dog that’s been showed a card trick.
You discover a plan by a character known only as “Pat”, a short pug-faced woman with really bad hair and a face like a bag of spanners. Her plan is to flood the Western Market with rubbish cars that will explode on contact with motorways.
And her weapon to sell these cars?
Metal Gear Frank Butcher.
An enormous, balding cockney fighting machine that clunks about shouting “RICKEEEEE” with his metallic rasp.
His only weaknesses are massive pairs of tinted specs that make him look like a monkey wearing coke bottles and a sheepskin coat, from which he draws his powers of sub-sonic voice blast.
As the simple fool “Rickee”, it is up to you to completely fail to notice your wife’s septum has fallen out from doing “too much snow” and to generally stumble about the game trying not to walk into scenery.
You have the “confused moron” attack, where you stand and scratch your greasy head until enemies walk off in disgust and you are free to move on towards the final conflict with Metal Gear Frank Butcher.
Upon meeting Metal Gear Frank, you must stand there and look like you’re trying to work out a really hard maths problem, whilst Metal Gear Frank smiles and flashes his big white teeth in a rictus grin.
Like a shark.
Kojima has been reported as saying “This game is rubbish and I made it all up.”
Reporters laughed and fawned, giving the idea 10/10 already and clamouring for advance copies – demanding to know what was next?
Kojima shook his head and said “Metal Gear Shopping List?”, wherein the entire room burst into applause and asked to see it.
Kojima shrugged and showed them a receipt from his garage for an Aero, two bottles of coke and some coal – upon which every games site in the world awarded Kojima “Master of Everything” and cast giant bronze statues in his likeness.
Well it was going to Metal Gear Mehmet & Ali.
Bah
Curse you kids and the trends, it's hard to keep up
But the screenshot is cool
Bah
Curse you kids and the trends, it's hard to keep up
But the screenshot is cool
Your problem Goatboy, is that you're behind the times. Frank Butcher left Eastenders over a year ago, and Ricky even earlier.
I doubt half of the people here even remember who he is.
;-)
I doubt half of the people here even remember who he is.
;-)
Look!
Not "Metal Gear So Solid" but a previous ef..ah what's the point, literate and cynical comedy is wasted here.
Here ya go:
Smash fase wiv stick
That'll keep 'em happy Goaty.
Not "Metal Gear So Solid" but a previous ef..ah what's the point, literate and cynical comedy is wasted here.
Here ya go:
Smash fase wiv stick
That'll keep 'em happy Goaty.
Solid Snake sounds like some kinda dodgy porn.
Huh Huh Huh i said solid Huh huh huh
Huh Huh Huh i said solid Huh huh huh
You lot think I'm joking don't you.
Well you wait and see.
Well you wait and see.
Check that artwork, he's just about to launch his "This is my lot boy" slap-attack.
*in huge, booming metallic voice*
"RICCCKKKKKEEEEEE"
*car alarms go off, cats scream, windows break*
"RICCCKKKKKEEEEEE"
*car alarms go off, cats scream, windows break*
Look, this is the box cover-art:
www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Stadium/1123/mr5.jpg
www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Stadium/1123/mr5.jpg
Ok, this is the next instalment in Hideo Kojima’s mighty Metal Gear series.
I got this info from www.gulliblefooleatmypants.com so don’t tell anyone else.
They were going to go with Metal Gear Barry, considering how rubbish Metal Gear Ray’s name was in Sons Of Liberty.
The idea was to have Solid Snake (anyone else getting porno-images from that name?) having to infiltrate the top-secret government drinking establishment called the “SIR YES SIR”, where loads of jarhead Marines sat about playing Flashpoint and calling it training.
Snake would have to battle the final boss, Metal Gear Barry.
A hulking monster of a barman with facial scars, a crew-cut and dead eyes.
Like a shark’s.
You would be able to defeat Metal Gear Barry only by utilising the “Spelling test” dartgun, which would force the victim to submit to various logistic puzzles, upon which he lumber around the bar shouting “Barry Smash!” and attacking mirrors “cos they looked at him funny”.
But Kojima realised this idea was rubbish.
So they binned it.
And instead came up with quite possibly the most ingenious idea yet:
Metal Gear Frank Butcher
Sons of Rickeeeeeeeeeeee
In this, you only play Snake for a small portion of the game, whereupon you assume the character of “Rickee”.
Rickee is a simple chap of limited intelligence, who spends his days fixing cars and looking like a dog that’s been showed a card trick.
You discover a plan by a character known only as “Pat”, a short pug-faced woman with really bad hair and a face like a bag of spanners. Her plan is to flood the Western Market with rubbish cars that will explode on contact with motorways.
And her weapon to sell these cars?
Metal Gear Frank Butcher.
An enormous, balding cockney fighting machine that clunks about shouting “RICKEEEEE” with his metallic rasp.
His only weaknesses are massive pairs of tinted specs that make him look like a monkey wearing coke bottles and a sheepskin coat, from which he draws his powers of sub-sonic voice blast.
As the simple fool “Rickee”, it is up to you to completely fail to notice your wife’s septum has fallen out from doing “too much snow” and to generally stumble about the game trying not to walk into scenery.
You have the “confused moron” attack, where you stand and scratch your greasy head until enemies walk off in disgust and you are free to move on towards the final conflict with Metal Gear Frank Butcher.
Upon meeting Metal Gear Frank, you must stand there and look like you’re trying to work out a really hard maths problem, whilst Metal Gear Frank smiles and flashes his big white teeth in a rictus grin.
Like a shark.
Kojima has been reported as saying “This game is rubbish and I made it all up.”
Reporters laughed and fawned, giving the idea 10/10 already and clamouring for advance copies – demanding to know what was next?
Kojima shook his head and said “Metal Gear Shopping List?”, wherein the entire room burst into applause and asked to see it.
Kojima shrugged and showed them a receipt from his garage for an Aero, two bottles of coke and some coal – upon which every games site in the world awarded Kojima “Master of Everything” and cast giant bronze statues in his likeness.
I got this info from www.gulliblefooleatmypants.com so don’t tell anyone else.
They were going to go with Metal Gear Barry, considering how rubbish Metal Gear Ray’s name was in Sons Of Liberty.
The idea was to have Solid Snake (anyone else getting porno-images from that name?) having to infiltrate the top-secret government drinking establishment called the “SIR YES SIR”, where loads of jarhead Marines sat about playing Flashpoint and calling it training.
Snake would have to battle the final boss, Metal Gear Barry.
A hulking monster of a barman with facial scars, a crew-cut and dead eyes.
Like a shark’s.
You would be able to defeat Metal Gear Barry only by utilising the “Spelling test” dartgun, which would force the victim to submit to various logistic puzzles, upon which he lumber around the bar shouting “Barry Smash!” and attacking mirrors “cos they looked at him funny”.
But Kojima realised this idea was rubbish.
So they binned it.
And instead came up with quite possibly the most ingenious idea yet:
Metal Gear Frank Butcher
Sons of Rickeeeeeeeeeeee
In this, you only play Snake for a small portion of the game, whereupon you assume the character of “Rickee”.
Rickee is a simple chap of limited intelligence, who spends his days fixing cars and looking like a dog that’s been showed a card trick.
You discover a plan by a character known only as “Pat”, a short pug-faced woman with really bad hair and a face like a bag of spanners. Her plan is to flood the Western Market with rubbish cars that will explode on contact with motorways.
And her weapon to sell these cars?
Metal Gear Frank Butcher.
An enormous, balding cockney fighting machine that clunks about shouting “RICKEEEEE” with his metallic rasp.
His only weaknesses are massive pairs of tinted specs that make him look like a monkey wearing coke bottles and a sheepskin coat, from which he draws his powers of sub-sonic voice blast.
As the simple fool “Rickee”, it is up to you to completely fail to notice your wife’s septum has fallen out from doing “too much snow” and to generally stumble about the game trying not to walk into scenery.
You have the “confused moron” attack, where you stand and scratch your greasy head until enemies walk off in disgust and you are free to move on towards the final conflict with Metal Gear Frank Butcher.
Upon meeting Metal Gear Frank, you must stand there and look like you’re trying to work out a really hard maths problem, whilst Metal Gear Frank smiles and flashes his big white teeth in a rictus grin.
Like a shark.
Kojima has been reported as saying “This game is rubbish and I made it all up.”
Reporters laughed and fawned, giving the idea 10/10 already and clamouring for advance copies – demanding to know what was next?
Kojima shook his head and said “Metal Gear Shopping List?”, wherein the entire room burst into applause and asked to see it.
Kojima shrugged and showed them a receipt from his garage for an Aero, two bottles of coke and some coal – upon which every games site in the world awarded Kojima “Master of Everything” and cast giant bronze statues in his likeness.