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I suppose there are many methods of pulling yourself out of a situation. Did you count to ten slowly? Did you cycle self-affirming statements in your mind to detract yourself? Did you just walk away? Did you say something snarky and then walk away? Did you get physical?
I know that I'm highly qualified in my field and do a fine job at phenomenal speeds with accuracy, but there's this gal at work who's energy makes me feel like I'm in slow mo. It's become quite uncomfortable to be around her and I'm finding myself harbouring angst unable to find a way to effectively communicate with her. I've recently come to wonder if she's on drugs or something. She does look um.. unkept.
Anyways, on a few occassions some issues have come up that really needed an immediate solid decision and with the bosslady out of the office, I consulted with the team. Before I could finish trying to relay the concern so everyone had a clear understanding, she jumps in obliterating the discussion by undervaluing it's importance and stressing the need to hurry back to our piles of work.
Now on the grander scale of things, I can see that we're three days behind, and most trivial issues can be sorted on a case by case basis. However, if the team isn't working on the same wavelength, it is inevitable that we'll encounter bigger issues down the line that would create more work for us or halt our production altogether. Taking a few moments out to collaborate isn't going to create a global catastrophe..
Anyways, pulling herself out of the conversation's in this fashion has left me and the other team member wondering what the hell we were going to do. Personally, I've felt offended. Professionally, I've seen her as just incapable of working in a team, too immature to effectively communicate for possible fear that she'll have to actually compromise or implement change, obnoxiously over-confident, and predominantly self-segregating.
Since I'm so new on the scene I really don't want to cause any waves, so I just go about my day doing my own thing. Needless to say, the issues have slowed our production and the final decisions were always left aside until whenever bosslady got back in the office to figure it out for us.
I'm already at the point where I feel like saying something snarky to her, because she does take snippy jabs at me when the underwriters are around. Like condescendingly saying "it's alriiight..just breathe.."
Psh.
Lately I just keep telling myself that she's just young and inexperienced and to let it go, but it's reeeally no exuse for her attitude and behaviour if she's performing at my level. That's another issue in itself. I've wondered why with no experience or education she could even be on my team, but then I learned her mother's worked for the company for years. Anyways, I take breaks to release and detract my mind.
On Friday, the bosslady reorganized the office layout to accomodate a n00b to the team and said IT was to come by tomorrow to move me. My new cubicle is just a bit further from her, but I'm so excited I went in yesterday and moved myself.
So, anyone else have stories? Anyone get to the boiling point and just take a physical jab?
> Maybe that's because I haven't been around for a while, it's
> funny because when I returned I remembered nearly everyone, and
> most people remembered me, but I couldn't remember you at all...
> I also find it amusing you have to disengage from a discussion
> about who should go into the Hall Of Fame.
It wasn't the discussion, but your blatent incompetence I was disengaging from. I tend to get impatient around stupidity.
> These are very interesting and I can relate to a lot of what is
> written. I'll be back to address some stuff when I'm not
> exercising some disengaging from the Biggie BS in Genchat.
> Funny, I don't recall ever seeing him around until just today
> he's such a forgettable nobody..
>
> Okay, I'm done with the snarky comments for tonight. :)
Maybe that's because I haven't been around for a while, it's funny because when I returned I remembered nearly everyone, and most people remembered me, but I couldn't remember you at all... I also find it amusing you have to disengage from a discussion about who should go into the Hall Of Fame.
As for disengagment, I used to play Tennis a lot, I only play very occassionally nowadays, I found the best way to disengage myself, after say a double fault, was to literally just slap youself on the leg or something like that. When I was younger I would verbally vent my frustration, or bash my racquet, although i've learned all that does is frustrate you and consequently hamper your performance.
As for different scenarios, i'll either shut down or walk away like many other people have said, or i'll stamp or punch something. I get very easily frustrated, but I try my best. It depends whether i'm upset, in which I usually just shut down, or frustraion, in which I lash out.
Okay, I'm done with the snarky comments for tonight. :)
Ive come across many different situations and if people get on the wrong side of me, i deal with it how close i am with them.
If its just some random tool on here, i can keep coming back at them and be arguementative, as when i shut down the computer i know i dont have to deal with them again. So id class that as b***h back then walk.
Ive totally shut down bothering with a certain person. Not because i completley hate them, i think hate maybe is a strong word for someone i actually loved. I just find that we are 2 arguemantative people. However i think we could be at each others throats all day if were texting or messaging on a computer. However when we are face to face things feel awkward but we just not like that in person. Id say its like 2 different people. I sit there and know i could just argue with him there and then. But its pointless, because like doing it online or text we get no where fast. SO i guess you can say ive walked away from all the grief we give each other. Ok its effecting other situations but i just think at the minute its for the best its this way. There is only so much i can take of people and i guess its the same for him to i dont know. Either way at some point things are going to have to change and we are going to have to just be civil. Shutting down is so easy but its not the answer... (well not the answer in this situation)
If there is people im really close to and care about, i try my best to just sort things out, and i tend not to give in till its sorted. Now i often have many situations like this. If i care about them i just tend not to let go or leave things on bad/awkward terms. I like to get things sorted. Now sometimes that can be a difficult situation, especilly when im faced with people who just like to give up, walk away and shut down. However as long as i say everything i have to say i leave it with them then and if they walk away from it at least they can go away knowing ive got across what i needed to say.
I guess i just respond differently depending on whats going on.
Ive gone on abit there, i cant explain it well so ie given up lol...
But great topic though!
> I'm sure we've all come accross circumstances where we become
> totally infuriated with someone or something. I'm really
> interested in hearing about them and how you choose to disengage
> yourself.
>
> I suppose there are many methods of pulling yourself out of a
> situation. Did you count to ten slowly? Did you cycle
> self-affirming statements in your mind to detract yourself? Did
> you just walk away? Did you say something snarky and then walk
> away? Did you get physical?
I go through things two ways.
I either talk myself into walking away from someone over the course of a week or more by reminding myself of everything i hate about them.
Or
I shutdown completely. This one is a bit more difficult to explain really. I've found that i'm able to switch off all my feelings at a seconds notice if needed and just completely cut you off. This would be a great method of dealing with annoying people if it wasnt temporary though.
> So, anyone else have stories? Anyone get to the boiling point
> and just take a physical jab?
I got so fed up with office politics I quit that type of environment and now work from home. So now instead of watching all the the back-stabbing, in-fighting and butt-licking as I slaved away in a factory-farm environment making someone else rich I get to discuss time-management, workflow issues and quality improvements with my cat over a cup of coffee.
I came to the conclusion long ago that if you're alive, that's all you need. You don't need to push yourself for promotion, produce outstanding workloads to earn more money so that you can spend it on things you don't really need. All you need is happiness.
If you think your co-worker is a grungy coke-addict why not just come straight out and tell it to her face? You'll feel better for it, she won't. Win/Win.
I suppose there are many methods of pulling yourself out of a situation. Did you count to ten slowly? Did you cycle self-affirming statements in your mind to detract yourself? Did you just walk away? Did you say something snarky and then walk away? Did you get physical?
I know that I'm highly qualified in my field and do a fine job at phenomenal speeds with accuracy, but there's this gal at work who's energy makes me feel like I'm in slow mo. It's become quite uncomfortable to be around her and I'm finding myself harbouring angst unable to find a way to effectively communicate with her. I've recently come to wonder if she's on drugs or something. She does look um.. unkept.
Anyways, on a few occassions some issues have come up that really needed an immediate solid decision and with the bosslady out of the office, I consulted with the team. Before I could finish trying to relay the concern so everyone had a clear understanding, she jumps in obliterating the discussion by undervaluing it's importance and stressing the need to hurry back to our piles of work.
Now on the grander scale of things, I can see that we're three days behind, and most trivial issues can be sorted on a case by case basis. However, if the team isn't working on the same wavelength, it is inevitable that we'll encounter bigger issues down the line that would create more work for us or halt our production altogether. Taking a few moments out to collaborate isn't going to create a global catastrophe..
Anyways, pulling herself out of the conversation's in this fashion has left me and the other team member wondering what the hell we were going to do. Personally, I've felt offended. Professionally, I've seen her as just incapable of working in a team, too immature to effectively communicate for possible fear that she'll have to actually compromise or implement change, obnoxiously over-confident, and predominantly self-segregating.
Since I'm so new on the scene I really don't want to cause any waves, so I just go about my day doing my own thing. Needless to say, the issues have slowed our production and the final decisions were always left aside until whenever bosslady got back in the office to figure it out for us.
I'm already at the point where I feel like saying something snarky to her, because she does take snippy jabs at me when the underwriters are around. Like condescendingly saying "it's alriiight..just breathe.."
Psh.
Lately I just keep telling myself that she's just young and inexperienced and to let it go, but it's reeeally no exuse for her attitude and behaviour if she's performing at my level. That's another issue in itself. I've wondered why with no experience or education she could even be on my team, but then I learned her mother's worked for the company for years. Anyways, I take breaks to release and detract my mind.
On Friday, the bosslady reorganized the office layout to accomodate a n00b to the team and said IT was to come by tomorrow to move me. My new cubicle is just a bit further from her, but I'm so excited I went in yesterday and moved myself.
So, anyone else have stories? Anyone get to the boiling point and just take a physical jab?