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So I wake up this morning, roll over to shut the alarm clock off, and I think to myself, “What was that thing I needed to do today? Chewed out the staff: check. Updated .plan file nobody reads: check. Read the Bulletin Boards: check. Hmmm…I know it was important…”
Oh yeah! Do my Christmas shopping! Somewhere between work and school and writing, I’ve forgotten to so much as drop by a shopping centre in recent weeks, save for visits to my local game stores. Just looking out my window here, I can see the line-ups of traffic trying to find parking - seems I’m not the only one putting things off to the last minute. Well, before I face the inevitable madness, I’ll share with you a few tips on how to deal with last minute Christmas shopping (and besides, writing this allows me to procrastinate for that much longer).
So without further ado, here’s “Pob's Top Six Ways to Do Your Last Minute Christmas Shopping ™”, or, “How to Make Sure Loved Ones Don’t Forget You Next Year.”
1. Shop Online. I know, it may seem a little late in the game to be doing this, but it provides you with something almost nothing else will: a built-in excuse for lateness. With the speed of so-called “overnight” delivery this time of year, your gift is almost guaranteed to be late. This allows you to say things like, “I ordered you this great widget, but (fill in an e-retailer here) is having problems shipping everything out on time. It’s really a great gift.” This works even better if you tell a person who is also having problems finishing their shopping - build up just how great the gift is, and it may pay dividends for you on Christmas day (one caveat: this can backfire for next year’s gift receiving). This built-in excuse also gives you a lot more leeway; heck, you can now wait until those great post-Christmas sales to get the gift, and tailor it more towards what the receiver actually wanted, as opposed to the crud they found in their stocking.
2. Move to Japan. While this may seem a bit drastic, the advantages are obvious. First, your loved ones won’t be expecting huge gifts due to the expense of the move. Second, they don’t give gifts at Christmas in Japan; nope, they give gifts at New Year’s, giving you an entire week extra to finish your shopping. Third, you can buy extremely cheap knock-off electronics in Japan, thus allowing you to send seemingly expensive gifts to even the lowest person on your list - do this, and watch it pay dividends on Christmases and Birthdays for years to come.
3. Take a Trip to China or the Third World. Yep, another expensive solution, but it does get you out of those squirmy “I forgot” situations. If you can somehow work this into an educational scholarship, or a diplomatic job, all the better. Now, there is actually something you can do for Christmas gifts while there. You know all those cool clothes and shoes that everyone needs to have, but cost an arm and a leg to buy? Well, almost all of them are either made in China (or the Third World), or have cheap facsimiles produced there. A Gortex © jacket that might set you back £350 in the UK can be found there for under £75. There’s no better way to say, “Merry Christmas” than by taking advantage of sweatshop labor.
4. Plead Poverty. This may seem a bit of a cop-out, but it works, especially if you’re going to school. It also allows you to get out the easy way by visiting your local Dollar Store to get cheap, but cute gifts. Just make sure you get things that are appropriate to the person you are buying for: no stuffed rabbit slippers for Uncle Bob, the linebacker. This option can also pay huge dividends, when your loved ones realize how truly broke you are, and give you tons of money (hey, a guy can hope!).
5. Give Money/Gift Certificates. This one can be a bit tricky, and usually requires a certain amount of foundation setting. What you need to do is first: don’t see your loved ones too often leading up to Christmas; second, when you do see them, lament long and loud about how little time you have; third, tell everyone that you think money/gift certificates are the best darned gifts anyone could want (this may have the added benefit of causing them to give you same for Christmas). If you do these three things, not only will the expect money/gift certificates from you this Christmas, but they won’t think that you’re being impersonal; nope, they’ll just think you’re a little touched in the head, which fits in perfectly with how they probably view you as a gamer in any case.
6. Convert to an Eastern Religion. This might seem a bit drastic, but it is a lot cheaper than all of the aforementioned suggestions. Of course, it might not be cheaper in spiritual terms, depending on your belief structure - but you can always convert back to whatever you are now after Christmas. One note: don’t actually tell anyone you’ve converted until Christmas day. This way, you can still receive presents, while easily explaining why you didn’t buy any. Try saying things like, “Your decadent Western commercialism makes me sick,” or “The Mullah would really like this!” as you open your gifts. The lone drawback to this option is that the likelihood of getting great gifts next year becomes rather slim.
That about wraps things up for my pre-Christmas suggestions. Tune in to my next post, when I’ll give you tips on what to do with that pair of black socks your Aunt Mathilda thoughtfully bought for you. :-)
Thanks for Reading,
o(^_^)o
Oh yeah! Do my Christmas shopping! Somewhere between work and school and writing, I’ve forgotten to so much as drop by a shopping centre in recent weeks, save for visits to my local game stores. Just looking out my window here, I can see the line-ups of traffic trying to find parking - seems I’m not the only one putting things off to the last minute. Well, before I face the inevitable madness, I’ll share with you a few tips on how to deal with last minute Christmas shopping (and besides, writing this allows me to procrastinate for that much longer).
So without further ado, here’s “Pob's Top Six Ways to Do Your Last Minute Christmas Shopping ™”, or, “How to Make Sure Loved Ones Don’t Forget You Next Year.”
1. Shop Online. I know, it may seem a little late in the game to be doing this, but it provides you with something almost nothing else will: a built-in excuse for lateness. With the speed of so-called “overnight” delivery this time of year, your gift is almost guaranteed to be late. This allows you to say things like, “I ordered you this great widget, but (fill in an e-retailer here) is having problems shipping everything out on time. It’s really a great gift.” This works even better if you tell a person who is also having problems finishing their shopping - build up just how great the gift is, and it may pay dividends for you on Christmas day (one caveat: this can backfire for next year’s gift receiving). This built-in excuse also gives you a lot more leeway; heck, you can now wait until those great post-Christmas sales to get the gift, and tailor it more towards what the receiver actually wanted, as opposed to the crud they found in their stocking.
2. Move to Japan. While this may seem a bit drastic, the advantages are obvious. First, your loved ones won’t be expecting huge gifts due to the expense of the move. Second, they don’t give gifts at Christmas in Japan; nope, they give gifts at New Year’s, giving you an entire week extra to finish your shopping. Third, you can buy extremely cheap knock-off electronics in Japan, thus allowing you to send seemingly expensive gifts to even the lowest person on your list - do this, and watch it pay dividends on Christmases and Birthdays for years to come.
3. Take a Trip to China or the Third World. Yep, another expensive solution, but it does get you out of those squirmy “I forgot” situations. If you can somehow work this into an educational scholarship, or a diplomatic job, all the better. Now, there is actually something you can do for Christmas gifts while there. You know all those cool clothes and shoes that everyone needs to have, but cost an arm and a leg to buy? Well, almost all of them are either made in China (or the Third World), or have cheap facsimiles produced there. A Gortex © jacket that might set you back £350 in the UK can be found there for under £75. There’s no better way to say, “Merry Christmas” than by taking advantage of sweatshop labor.
4. Plead Poverty. This may seem a bit of a cop-out, but it works, especially if you’re going to school. It also allows you to get out the easy way by visiting your local Dollar Store to get cheap, but cute gifts. Just make sure you get things that are appropriate to the person you are buying for: no stuffed rabbit slippers for Uncle Bob, the linebacker. This option can also pay huge dividends, when your loved ones realize how truly broke you are, and give you tons of money (hey, a guy can hope!).
5. Give Money/Gift Certificates. This one can be a bit tricky, and usually requires a certain amount of foundation setting. What you need to do is first: don’t see your loved ones too often leading up to Christmas; second, when you do see them, lament long and loud about how little time you have; third, tell everyone that you think money/gift certificates are the best darned gifts anyone could want (this may have the added benefit of causing them to give you same for Christmas). If you do these three things, not only will the expect money/gift certificates from you this Christmas, but they won’t think that you’re being impersonal; nope, they’ll just think you’re a little touched in the head, which fits in perfectly with how they probably view you as a gamer in any case.
6. Convert to an Eastern Religion. This might seem a bit drastic, but it is a lot cheaper than all of the aforementioned suggestions. Of course, it might not be cheaper in spiritual terms, depending on your belief structure - but you can always convert back to whatever you are now after Christmas. One note: don’t actually tell anyone you’ve converted until Christmas day. This way, you can still receive presents, while easily explaining why you didn’t buy any. Try saying things like, “Your decadent Western commercialism makes me sick,” or “The Mullah would really like this!” as you open your gifts. The lone drawback to this option is that the likelihood of getting great gifts next year becomes rather slim.
That about wraps things up for my pre-Christmas suggestions. Tune in to my next post, when I’ll give you tips on what to do with that pair of black socks your Aunt Mathilda thoughtfully bought for you. :-)
Thanks for Reading,
o(^_^)o
thats ok then :P
Mystique wrote:
> you know you'll get banned if you keep doing it
It was a joke!
> you know you'll get banned if you keep doing it
It was a joke!
lol. great topic.
you know you'll get banned if you keep doing it
Mystique wrote:
> christ pob, you like you long topics dont you!
Oh, it's easy. Just go to gamespy.com, ctrl v.......whoops said to much. Better stop with the columns.
*GASP*
Said it again! Digging myself into a whole here. You could even say, HERE at Gamespy........I'll just stop there.
> christ pob, you like you long topics dont you!
Oh, it's easy. Just go to gamespy.com, ctrl v.......whoops said to much. Better stop with the columns.
*GASP*
Said it again! Digging myself into a whole here. You could even say, HERE at Gamespy........I'll just stop there.
christ pob, you like you long topics dont you!
So I wake up this morning, roll over to shut the alarm clock off, and I think to myself, “What was that thing I needed to do today? Chewed out the staff: check. Updated .plan file nobody reads: check. Read the Bulletin Boards: check. Hmmm…I know it was important…”
Oh yeah! Do my Christmas shopping! Somewhere between work and school and writing, I’ve forgotten to so much as drop by a shopping centre in recent weeks, save for visits to my local game stores. Just looking out my window here, I can see the line-ups of traffic trying to find parking - seems I’m not the only one putting things off to the last minute. Well, before I face the inevitable madness, I’ll share with you a few tips on how to deal with last minute Christmas shopping (and besides, writing this allows me to procrastinate for that much longer).
So without further ado, here’s “Pob's Top Six Ways to Do Your Last Minute Christmas Shopping ™”, or, “How to Make Sure Loved Ones Don’t Forget You Next Year.”
1. Shop Online. I know, it may seem a little late in the game to be doing this, but it provides you with something almost nothing else will: a built-in excuse for lateness. With the speed of so-called “overnight” delivery this time of year, your gift is almost guaranteed to be late. This allows you to say things like, “I ordered you this great widget, but (fill in an e-retailer here) is having problems shipping everything out on time. It’s really a great gift.” This works even better if you tell a person who is also having problems finishing their shopping - build up just how great the gift is, and it may pay dividends for you on Christmas day (one caveat: this can backfire for next year’s gift receiving). This built-in excuse also gives you a lot more leeway; heck, you can now wait until those great post-Christmas sales to get the gift, and tailor it more towards what the receiver actually wanted, as opposed to the crud they found in their stocking.
2. Move to Japan. While this may seem a bit drastic, the advantages are obvious. First, your loved ones won’t be expecting huge gifts due to the expense of the move. Second, they don’t give gifts at Christmas in Japan; nope, they give gifts at New Year’s, giving you an entire week extra to finish your shopping. Third, you can buy extremely cheap knock-off electronics in Japan, thus allowing you to send seemingly expensive gifts to even the lowest person on your list - do this, and watch it pay dividends on Christmases and Birthdays for years to come.
3. Take a Trip to China or the Third World. Yep, another expensive solution, but it does get you out of those squirmy “I forgot” situations. If you can somehow work this into an educational scholarship, or a diplomatic job, all the better. Now, there is actually something you can do for Christmas gifts while there. You know all those cool clothes and shoes that everyone needs to have, but cost an arm and a leg to buy? Well, almost all of them are either made in China (or the Third World), or have cheap facsimiles produced there. A Gortex © jacket that might set you back £350 in the UK can be found there for under £75. There’s no better way to say, “Merry Christmas” than by taking advantage of sweatshop labor.
4. Plead Poverty. This may seem a bit of a cop-out, but it works, especially if you’re going to school. It also allows you to get out the easy way by visiting your local Dollar Store to get cheap, but cute gifts. Just make sure you get things that are appropriate to the person you are buying for: no stuffed rabbit slippers for Uncle Bob, the linebacker. This option can also pay huge dividends, when your loved ones realize how truly broke you are, and give you tons of money (hey, a guy can hope!).
5. Give Money/Gift Certificates. This one can be a bit tricky, and usually requires a certain amount of foundation setting. What you need to do is first: don’t see your loved ones too often leading up to Christmas; second, when you do see them, lament long and loud about how little time you have; third, tell everyone that you think money/gift certificates are the best darned gifts anyone could want (this may have the added benefit of causing them to give you same for Christmas). If you do these three things, not only will the expect money/gift certificates from you this Christmas, but they won’t think that you’re being impersonal; nope, they’ll just think you’re a little touched in the head, which fits in perfectly with how they probably view you as a gamer in any case.
6. Convert to an Eastern Religion. This might seem a bit drastic, but it is a lot cheaper than all of the aforementioned suggestions. Of course, it might not be cheaper in spiritual terms, depending on your belief structure - but you can always convert back to whatever you are now after Christmas. One note: don’t actually tell anyone you’ve converted until Christmas day. This way, you can still receive presents, while easily explaining why you didn’t buy any. Try saying things like, “Your decadent Western commercialism makes me sick,” or “The Mullah would really like this!” as you open your gifts. The lone drawback to this option is that the likelihood of getting great gifts next year becomes rather slim.
That about wraps things up for my pre-Christmas suggestions. Tune in to my next post, when I’ll give you tips on what to do with that pair of black socks your Aunt Mathilda thoughtfully bought for you. :-)
Thanks for Reading,
o(^_^)o
Oh yeah! Do my Christmas shopping! Somewhere between work and school and writing, I’ve forgotten to so much as drop by a shopping centre in recent weeks, save for visits to my local game stores. Just looking out my window here, I can see the line-ups of traffic trying to find parking - seems I’m not the only one putting things off to the last minute. Well, before I face the inevitable madness, I’ll share with you a few tips on how to deal with last minute Christmas shopping (and besides, writing this allows me to procrastinate for that much longer).
So without further ado, here’s “Pob's Top Six Ways to Do Your Last Minute Christmas Shopping ™”, or, “How to Make Sure Loved Ones Don’t Forget You Next Year.”
1. Shop Online. I know, it may seem a little late in the game to be doing this, but it provides you with something almost nothing else will: a built-in excuse for lateness. With the speed of so-called “overnight” delivery this time of year, your gift is almost guaranteed to be late. This allows you to say things like, “I ordered you this great widget, but (fill in an e-retailer here) is having problems shipping everything out on time. It’s really a great gift.” This works even better if you tell a person who is also having problems finishing their shopping - build up just how great the gift is, and it may pay dividends for you on Christmas day (one caveat: this can backfire for next year’s gift receiving). This built-in excuse also gives you a lot more leeway; heck, you can now wait until those great post-Christmas sales to get the gift, and tailor it more towards what the receiver actually wanted, as opposed to the crud they found in their stocking.
2. Move to Japan. While this may seem a bit drastic, the advantages are obvious. First, your loved ones won’t be expecting huge gifts due to the expense of the move. Second, they don’t give gifts at Christmas in Japan; nope, they give gifts at New Year’s, giving you an entire week extra to finish your shopping. Third, you can buy extremely cheap knock-off electronics in Japan, thus allowing you to send seemingly expensive gifts to even the lowest person on your list - do this, and watch it pay dividends on Christmases and Birthdays for years to come.
3. Take a Trip to China or the Third World. Yep, another expensive solution, but it does get you out of those squirmy “I forgot” situations. If you can somehow work this into an educational scholarship, or a diplomatic job, all the better. Now, there is actually something you can do for Christmas gifts while there. You know all those cool clothes and shoes that everyone needs to have, but cost an arm and a leg to buy? Well, almost all of them are either made in China (or the Third World), or have cheap facsimiles produced there. A Gortex © jacket that might set you back £350 in the UK can be found there for under £75. There’s no better way to say, “Merry Christmas” than by taking advantage of sweatshop labor.
4. Plead Poverty. This may seem a bit of a cop-out, but it works, especially if you’re going to school. It also allows you to get out the easy way by visiting your local Dollar Store to get cheap, but cute gifts. Just make sure you get things that are appropriate to the person you are buying for: no stuffed rabbit slippers for Uncle Bob, the linebacker. This option can also pay huge dividends, when your loved ones realize how truly broke you are, and give you tons of money (hey, a guy can hope!).
5. Give Money/Gift Certificates. This one can be a bit tricky, and usually requires a certain amount of foundation setting. What you need to do is first: don’t see your loved ones too often leading up to Christmas; second, when you do see them, lament long and loud about how little time you have; third, tell everyone that you think money/gift certificates are the best darned gifts anyone could want (this may have the added benefit of causing them to give you same for Christmas). If you do these three things, not only will the expect money/gift certificates from you this Christmas, but they won’t think that you’re being impersonal; nope, they’ll just think you’re a little touched in the head, which fits in perfectly with how they probably view you as a gamer in any case.
6. Convert to an Eastern Religion. This might seem a bit drastic, but it is a lot cheaper than all of the aforementioned suggestions. Of course, it might not be cheaper in spiritual terms, depending on your belief structure - but you can always convert back to whatever you are now after Christmas. One note: don’t actually tell anyone you’ve converted until Christmas day. This way, you can still receive presents, while easily explaining why you didn’t buy any. Try saying things like, “Your decadent Western commercialism makes me sick,” or “The Mullah would really like this!” as you open your gifts. The lone drawback to this option is that the likelihood of getting great gifts next year becomes rather slim.
That about wraps things up for my pre-Christmas suggestions. Tune in to my next post, when I’ll give you tips on what to do with that pair of black socks your Aunt Mathilda thoughtfully bought for you. :-)
Thanks for Reading,
o(^_^)o