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"Leaked Dixons memo reveals major error..."

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Wed 19/03/03 at 10:58
Regular
Posts: 787
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Re: Gamecube Memo 19/03/03

Last week a memo was circulated to all stores under the Dixons Group Company, in which it stated that we would no longer be participating in selling Gamecube hardware, software and accessories in any of the Dixons Group Stores. Many branch managers appear to have taken it upon themselves to start selling off old stock under reduced prices, with a view to clearing stock. DON’T. We will not be ending Gamecube stocks. There has been a serious misunderstanding – prior to this I sent out a VERYpassionate plea to try and drive Gamecube sales, in response to a meeting with Nintendo of Europe officials, but due to a keyboarding administrative error it was taken…how shall I put this… the ‘wrong’ way. Below is the troublesome piece of text…

* * * * * * * * * * * *
(Original Gamecube Memo dated 10/03/03)

“I want to make it perfectly clear that upcoming game.. of the calibre of the Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker, Metroid Prime, F-Zero, Wario World, and Pikmin2 in all quarters 2003-4 aren’t the sort to be ..hit, and management know.. it! If we can alter our approach a little bit, we can ..end the Gamecube.. target.. and all our plan.. for it flying! I hope you all know what I’m making clear – take the appropriate action…”
* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The problematic error was in fact a problem with our keyboard the ‘s’ button wasn’t working, and as a result changed the direction of the memo quite dramatically. I’ve included some dotted lines to show where the ‘s’ should have been - add an ‘s’ on the doted line and you can see my declaration of intent was quite different. I understand this puts many of you in a difficult position and the situation is being rectified immediately. I am taking steps internally to ensure our current secretary and distributor of communication, the 84 year old Miss Lucy Plot, is replaced with a younger person who is more ‘in tune’ with the English language. I’m afraid that the gung-ho approaches of many managers will see your behavoiur reviewed, but I urge you to remember that Miss Plot has given us forty years of service so please restrict your vitriol to attacks on her professional conduct – no ageism.

Apologies for any inconvience caused. I have issued a statement declaring the strength of our relationship with Nintendo as a face-saving exercise, but fear we may have to continue this course of action to avoid share troubles. Further instructions will be issued as and when our course of action is decided.

Yours sincerely,

Sir Stanley Kalms
President of Dixons Group PLC

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Wed 19/03/03 at 18:10
Regular
Posts: 11,038
Oh dear, I ALMOST believed that.
Wed 19/03/03 at 17:28
Regular
"Festivus!"
Posts: 6,228
Nice.

Very Nice.

And Smart.

Oh so smart.

You must be proud. And gay. but less of that.
Wed 19/03/03 at 11:16
Regular
Posts: 5,630
*rips hair out*

I knew I'd leave some in...
Wed 19/03/03 at 10:58
Regular
Posts: 5,630
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Re: Gamecube Memo 19/03/03

Last week a memo was circulated to all stores under the Dixons Group Company, in which it stated that we would no longer be participating in selling Gamecube hardware, software and accessories in any of the Dixons Group Stores. Many branch managers appear to have taken it upon themselves to start selling off old stock under reduced prices, with a view to clearing stock. DON’T. We will not be ending Gamecube stocks. There has been a serious misunderstanding – prior to this I sent out a VERYpassionate plea to try and drive Gamecube sales, in response to a meeting with Nintendo of Europe officials, but due to a keyboarding administrative error it was taken…how shall I put this… the ‘wrong’ way. Below is the troublesome piece of text…

* * * * * * * * * * * *
(Original Gamecube Memo dated 10/03/03)

“I want to make it perfectly clear that upcoming game.. of the calibre of the Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker, Metroid Prime, F-Zero, Wario World, and Pikmin2 in all quarters 2003-4 aren’t the sort to be ..hit, and management know.. it! If we can alter our approach a little bit, we can ..end the Gamecube.. target.. and all our plan.. for it flying! I hope you all know what I’m making clear – take the appropriate action…”
* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The problematic error was in fact a problem with our keyboard the ‘s’ button wasn’t working, and as a result changed the direction of the memo quite dramatically. I’ve included some dotted lines to show where the ‘s’ should have been - add an ‘s’ on the doted line and you can see my declaration of intent was quite different. I understand this puts many of you in a difficult position and the situation is being rectified immediately. I am taking steps internally to ensure our current secretary and distributor of communication, the 84 year old Miss Lucy Plot, is replaced with a younger person who is more ‘in tune’ with the English language. I’m afraid that the gung-ho approaches of many managers will see your behavoiur reviewed, but I urge you to remember that Miss Plot has given us forty years of service so please restrict your vitriol to attacks on her professional conduct – no ageism.

Apologies for any inconvience caused. I have issued a statement declaring the strength of our relationship with Nintendo as a face-saving exercise, but fear we may have to continue this course of action to avoid share troubles. Further instructions will be issued as and when our course of action is decided.

Yours sincerely,

Sir Stanley Kalms
President of Dixons Group PLC

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