The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Beware sports games. No, this isn’t one of those (debatably) hilarious posts (of which I am guilty of several) where I tell you how EA Sports is secretly taking over the world, or detail the intricacies of Virtua Tennis mind control, oh no…this is deadly serious. Beware of sports games.
I have lots of PS2 games. I’d consider myself rather lucky in that respect. On my shelf are such classics as Ico, GTA:Vice City, Hitman 2 and Kingdom Hearts. And I haven’t played any of them in a fortnight. It’s not that I don’t like them, on the contrary – Ico has the beautiful art style and the thousands of people singing its praises; GTA is mindless, comic book gore fun; I’ve tremendously enjoyed sneaking around and throttling people in Hitman 2; and Kingdom Hearts’s blend of Disney magic and dark forces is brilliant. But I can’t bring myself to play them.
It’s not for lack of time either: my work is easily manageable, leaving me with a few hours spare every night. What do I do? Usually while it away on Shockwave games or ukchatforums, and occasionally play on my PS2. So what disc is making itself comfortable in my vertical blue and black behemoth? The might Pro Evolution Soccer 2.
Well, that’s not strictly true – it had a short vacation this afternoon as I watched Eddie Izzard’s Circle on DVD (borrowed from a friend, so time was of the essence, see)…but as soon as the credits rolled PES2 was right back in there like a shot. I played five, maybe six games. And then, I left. It’s just THAT easy. In fact, that’s exactly why I’m left catering to their every whim. It’s just too simple to sit down and be right in the thick of things.
Take Kingdom Hearts for example – the starting ‘tutorial’ type thing took about an hour. It’s a fun game, but I can’t really get myself in the right frame of mind for a quick go. Hitman 2 and GTA:Vice City are slightly better in this respect, but with the former’s mission based structure and the latter’s eventual tiring (after playing it for about four months) I still find myself playing sports.
Perhaps it’s my inner jock trying to escape my lazy body? When I’m playing Pro Evolution Soccer, I’m in a different state…I’m concentrating solely on the game, not getting ready for dinner, or packing my books for tomorrow…it’s all about ‘Madorna’ managing to wriggle free of his defender, or Cozi turning back onto his stronger right foot. It’s all so quick, so fluid…and then, within twenty seconds of the last game ending, the next one can begin.
Virtua Tennis is even worse, with its hypnotic game engine; watching tennis itself is bad enough, but participating in a video game is seriously dangerous. “Two sides, one ball, back and forth, back and forth, over and over…ARGH, I’ve been sitting here for nine hours!” OK, perhaps not that bad, but you can see what I’m getting at.
Another ultimate time waster is Tiger Woods 2003. A superb game in every which way – great graphics, great presentation, great gameplay, even a great soundtrack - and it’s golf. I mean, come on, GOLF! It screams, or rather seductively whispers, ‘relaxation’. What used to be for old men in plaid sweaters is now for millionaire playboys in fashionable turtlenecks, and I can get all the comfort and satisfaction of a great round whilst wearing my underwear and listening to the radio on a lazy Sunday afternoon. It won’t even spoil a good walk…take that Oscar Wilde!
NHL Hitz, on the other hand, doesn’t have that addictiveness. Perhaps it’s the abysmal loading times, or the fact that playing against the CPU isn’t fun at all once you’ve experienced a multiplayer game…but it doesn’t make me want to play it. PES2 does. NBA Street had the novelty when it was new, but now it just sits there. Mind you, so do most of my other games so that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe I WOULD be closer to the truth if I dreamt up some crazy story about sports game developers controlling our minds?
I suppose addictiveness is what developers should look for; just see how rich drug dealers are for proof. I haven’t even bothered to mention Championship Manager, the finest Columbian digitized narcotic…because you all know about it. Unless you’re a big girl’s blouse (and I know who you are, before you reply saying that it’s just a glorified spreadsheet), you’ve lost whole days (no exaggeration) to the franchise, whose latest release has just gone gold. But come on EA, Konami and the rest…be fair! Be fair to other developers, be fair to other branches of your own umbrella! I can’t play MOH:Frontline until I unlock the new golf club head!
My name is El Blokey, and I’m a sports game-a-holic. Well, my name isn’t really El Blokey. It’s Alex. But everyone calls Kerrang ‘Alex’, so I’m stuck with El Blokey.
Thanks for reading. Replies appreciated.
I have lots of PS2 games. I’d consider myself rather lucky in that respect. On my shelf are such classics as Ico, GTA:Vice City, Hitman 2 and Kingdom Hearts. And I haven’t played any of them in a fortnight. It’s not that I don’t like them, on the contrary – Ico has the beautiful art style and the thousands of people singing its praises; GTA is mindless, comic book gore fun; I’ve tremendously enjoyed sneaking around and throttling people in Hitman 2; and Kingdom Hearts’s blend of Disney magic and dark forces is brilliant. But I can’t bring myself to play them.
It’s not for lack of time either: my work is easily manageable, leaving me with a few hours spare every night. What do I do? Usually while it away on Shockwave games or ukchatforums, and occasionally play on my PS2. So what disc is making itself comfortable in my vertical blue and black behemoth? The might Pro Evolution Soccer 2.
Well, that’s not strictly true – it had a short vacation this afternoon as I watched Eddie Izzard’s Circle on DVD (borrowed from a friend, so time was of the essence, see)…but as soon as the credits rolled PES2 was right back in there like a shot. I played five, maybe six games. And then, I left. It’s just THAT easy. In fact, that’s exactly why I’m left catering to their every whim. It’s just too simple to sit down and be right in the thick of things.
Take Kingdom Hearts for example – the starting ‘tutorial’ type thing took about an hour. It’s a fun game, but I can’t really get myself in the right frame of mind for a quick go. Hitman 2 and GTA:Vice City are slightly better in this respect, but with the former’s mission based structure and the latter’s eventual tiring (after playing it for about four months) I still find myself playing sports.
Perhaps it’s my inner jock trying to escape my lazy body? When I’m playing Pro Evolution Soccer, I’m in a different state…I’m concentrating solely on the game, not getting ready for dinner, or packing my books for tomorrow…it’s all about ‘Madorna’ managing to wriggle free of his defender, or Cozi turning back onto his stronger right foot. It’s all so quick, so fluid…and then, within twenty seconds of the last game ending, the next one can begin.
Virtua Tennis is even worse, with its hypnotic game engine; watching tennis itself is bad enough, but participating in a video game is seriously dangerous. “Two sides, one ball, back and forth, back and forth, over and over…ARGH, I’ve been sitting here for nine hours!” OK, perhaps not that bad, but you can see what I’m getting at.
Another ultimate time waster is Tiger Woods 2003. A superb game in every which way – great graphics, great presentation, great gameplay, even a great soundtrack - and it’s golf. I mean, come on, GOLF! It screams, or rather seductively whispers, ‘relaxation’. What used to be for old men in plaid sweaters is now for millionaire playboys in fashionable turtlenecks, and I can get all the comfort and satisfaction of a great round whilst wearing my underwear and listening to the radio on a lazy Sunday afternoon. It won’t even spoil a good walk…take that Oscar Wilde!
NHL Hitz, on the other hand, doesn’t have that addictiveness. Perhaps it’s the abysmal loading times, or the fact that playing against the CPU isn’t fun at all once you’ve experienced a multiplayer game…but it doesn’t make me want to play it. PES2 does. NBA Street had the novelty when it was new, but now it just sits there. Mind you, so do most of my other games so that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe I WOULD be closer to the truth if I dreamt up some crazy story about sports game developers controlling our minds?
I suppose addictiveness is what developers should look for; just see how rich drug dealers are for proof. I haven’t even bothered to mention Championship Manager, the finest Columbian digitized narcotic…because you all know about it. Unless you’re a big girl’s blouse (and I know who you are, before you reply saying that it’s just a glorified spreadsheet), you’ve lost whole days (no exaggeration) to the franchise, whose latest release has just gone gold. But come on EA, Konami and the rest…be fair! Be fair to other developers, be fair to other branches of your own umbrella! I can’t play MOH:Frontline until I unlock the new golf club head!
My name is El Blokey, and I’m a sports game-a-holic. Well, my name isn’t really El Blokey. It’s Alex. But everyone calls Kerrang ‘Alex’, so I’m stuck with El Blokey.
Thanks for reading. Replies appreciated.
There have been no replies to this thread yet.
Beware sports games. No, this isn’t one of those (debatably) hilarious posts (of which I am guilty of several) where I tell you how EA Sports is secretly taking over the world, or detail the intricacies of Virtua Tennis mind control, oh no…this is deadly serious. Beware of sports games.
I have lots of PS2 games. I’d consider myself rather lucky in that respect. On my shelf are such classics as Ico, GTA:Vice City, Hitman 2 and Kingdom Hearts. And I haven’t played any of them in a fortnight. It’s not that I don’t like them, on the contrary – Ico has the beautiful art style and the thousands of people singing its praises; GTA is mindless, comic book gore fun; I’ve tremendously enjoyed sneaking around and throttling people in Hitman 2; and Kingdom Hearts’s blend of Disney magic and dark forces is brilliant. But I can’t bring myself to play them.
It’s not for lack of time either: my work is easily manageable, leaving me with a few hours spare every night. What do I do? Usually while it away on Shockwave games or ukchatforums, and occasionally play on my PS2. So what disc is making itself comfortable in my vertical blue and black behemoth? The might Pro Evolution Soccer 2.
Well, that’s not strictly true – it had a short vacation this afternoon as I watched Eddie Izzard’s Circle on DVD (borrowed from a friend, so time was of the essence, see)…but as soon as the credits rolled PES2 was right back in there like a shot. I played five, maybe six games. And then, I left. It’s just THAT easy. In fact, that’s exactly why I’m left catering to their every whim. It’s just too simple to sit down and be right in the thick of things.
Take Kingdom Hearts for example – the starting ‘tutorial’ type thing took about an hour. It’s a fun game, but I can’t really get myself in the right frame of mind for a quick go. Hitman 2 and GTA:Vice City are slightly better in this respect, but with the former’s mission based structure and the latter’s eventual tiring (after playing it for about four months) I still find myself playing sports.
Perhaps it’s my inner jock trying to escape my lazy body? When I’m playing Pro Evolution Soccer, I’m in a different state…I’m concentrating solely on the game, not getting ready for dinner, or packing my books for tomorrow…it’s all about ‘Madorna’ managing to wriggle free of his defender, or Cozi turning back onto his stronger right foot. It’s all so quick, so fluid…and then, within twenty seconds of the last game ending, the next one can begin.
Virtua Tennis is even worse, with its hypnotic game engine; watching tennis itself is bad enough, but participating in a video game is seriously dangerous. “Two sides, one ball, back and forth, back and forth, over and over…ARGH, I’ve been sitting here for nine hours!” OK, perhaps not that bad, but you can see what I’m getting at.
Another ultimate time waster is Tiger Woods 2003. A superb game in every which way – great graphics, great presentation, great gameplay, even a great soundtrack - and it’s golf. I mean, come on, GOLF! It screams, or rather seductively whispers, ‘relaxation’. What used to be for old men in plaid sweaters is now for millionaire playboys in fashionable turtlenecks, and I can get all the comfort and satisfaction of a great round whilst wearing my underwear and listening to the radio on a lazy Sunday afternoon. It won’t even spoil a good walk…take that Oscar Wilde!
NHL Hitz, on the other hand, doesn’t have that addictiveness. Perhaps it’s the abysmal loading times, or the fact that playing against the CPU isn’t fun at all once you’ve experienced a multiplayer game…but it doesn’t make me want to play it. PES2 does. NBA Street had the novelty when it was new, but now it just sits there. Mind you, so do most of my other games so that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe I WOULD be closer to the truth if I dreamt up some crazy story about sports game developers controlling our minds?
I suppose addictiveness is what developers should look for; just see how rich drug dealers are for proof. I haven’t even bothered to mention Championship Manager, the finest Columbian digitized narcotic…because you all know about it. Unless you’re a big girl’s blouse (and I know who you are, before you reply saying that it’s just a glorified spreadsheet), you’ve lost whole days (no exaggeration) to the franchise, whose latest release has just gone gold. But come on EA, Konami and the rest…be fair! Be fair to other developers, be fair to other branches of your own umbrella! I can’t play MOH:Frontline until I unlock the new golf club head!
My name is El Blokey, and I’m a sports game-a-holic. Well, my name isn’t really El Blokey. It’s Alex. But everyone calls Kerrang ‘Alex’, so I’m stuck with El Blokey.
Thanks for reading. Replies appreciated.
I have lots of PS2 games. I’d consider myself rather lucky in that respect. On my shelf are such classics as Ico, GTA:Vice City, Hitman 2 and Kingdom Hearts. And I haven’t played any of them in a fortnight. It’s not that I don’t like them, on the contrary – Ico has the beautiful art style and the thousands of people singing its praises; GTA is mindless, comic book gore fun; I’ve tremendously enjoyed sneaking around and throttling people in Hitman 2; and Kingdom Hearts’s blend of Disney magic and dark forces is brilliant. But I can’t bring myself to play them.
It’s not for lack of time either: my work is easily manageable, leaving me with a few hours spare every night. What do I do? Usually while it away on Shockwave games or ukchatforums, and occasionally play on my PS2. So what disc is making itself comfortable in my vertical blue and black behemoth? The might Pro Evolution Soccer 2.
Well, that’s not strictly true – it had a short vacation this afternoon as I watched Eddie Izzard’s Circle on DVD (borrowed from a friend, so time was of the essence, see)…but as soon as the credits rolled PES2 was right back in there like a shot. I played five, maybe six games. And then, I left. It’s just THAT easy. In fact, that’s exactly why I’m left catering to their every whim. It’s just too simple to sit down and be right in the thick of things.
Take Kingdom Hearts for example – the starting ‘tutorial’ type thing took about an hour. It’s a fun game, but I can’t really get myself in the right frame of mind for a quick go. Hitman 2 and GTA:Vice City are slightly better in this respect, but with the former’s mission based structure and the latter’s eventual tiring (after playing it for about four months) I still find myself playing sports.
Perhaps it’s my inner jock trying to escape my lazy body? When I’m playing Pro Evolution Soccer, I’m in a different state…I’m concentrating solely on the game, not getting ready for dinner, or packing my books for tomorrow…it’s all about ‘Madorna’ managing to wriggle free of his defender, or Cozi turning back onto his stronger right foot. It’s all so quick, so fluid…and then, within twenty seconds of the last game ending, the next one can begin.
Virtua Tennis is even worse, with its hypnotic game engine; watching tennis itself is bad enough, but participating in a video game is seriously dangerous. “Two sides, one ball, back and forth, back and forth, over and over…ARGH, I’ve been sitting here for nine hours!” OK, perhaps not that bad, but you can see what I’m getting at.
Another ultimate time waster is Tiger Woods 2003. A superb game in every which way – great graphics, great presentation, great gameplay, even a great soundtrack - and it’s golf. I mean, come on, GOLF! It screams, or rather seductively whispers, ‘relaxation’. What used to be for old men in plaid sweaters is now for millionaire playboys in fashionable turtlenecks, and I can get all the comfort and satisfaction of a great round whilst wearing my underwear and listening to the radio on a lazy Sunday afternoon. It won’t even spoil a good walk…take that Oscar Wilde!
NHL Hitz, on the other hand, doesn’t have that addictiveness. Perhaps it’s the abysmal loading times, or the fact that playing against the CPU isn’t fun at all once you’ve experienced a multiplayer game…but it doesn’t make me want to play it. PES2 does. NBA Street had the novelty when it was new, but now it just sits there. Mind you, so do most of my other games so that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe I WOULD be closer to the truth if I dreamt up some crazy story about sports game developers controlling our minds?
I suppose addictiveness is what developers should look for; just see how rich drug dealers are for proof. I haven’t even bothered to mention Championship Manager, the finest Columbian digitized narcotic…because you all know about it. Unless you’re a big girl’s blouse (and I know who you are, before you reply saying that it’s just a glorified spreadsheet), you’ve lost whole days (no exaggeration) to the franchise, whose latest release has just gone gold. But come on EA, Konami and the rest…be fair! Be fair to other developers, be fair to other branches of your own umbrella! I can’t play MOH:Frontline until I unlock the new golf club head!
My name is El Blokey, and I’m a sports game-a-holic. Well, my name isn’t really El Blokey. It’s Alex. But everyone calls Kerrang ‘Alex’, so I’m stuck with El Blokey.
Thanks for reading. Replies appreciated.