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This thread has been linked to the game 'Duke Nukem Forever'.
Ever wonder what video gaming's last taboo is? No - me, neither. However, having played Duke Nukem Forever, it would seem to be smoking, which would certainly reflect Hollywood's position on the matter. Aside from the game's mainstay, which is slaughtering evil aliens, Duke Nukem Forever lets you get up to all sorts of behaviour that is generally frowned upon by polite society. You can get drunk out of your head on beer, take steroids, fling poo around, kill topless women and squash small animals. But smoking? No chance - even though there are packs of cigarettes in the game, the game won't let you use them. You can, however, chug down beer till you're very ill indeed. Which seems kind of uneven to me. Yes, smoking is a disgusting habit, but is it worse than all the other things in the game? I doubt it.
Having said that, the uneven treatment of smoking is the least of Duke Nukem Forever's worries. I won't go into the detailed history of the game, but it's been in development for at least 12 years. The game was being developed by 3D Realms but they went bust, the game having become something of an industry joke. But now it's been finished by Gearbox Games and released by 2K. And was it worth the wait? No. It's a load of old rubbish.
The previous title in the Duke Nukem series, Duke Nukem 3D, was highly lauded and remains one of the best 3D shoot-em-ups ever. Unlike Doom, it took place in the real world - sort of - and had macho badass Duke Nukem slaughtering a bunch of evil aliens and firing out a bunch of quips as he did so. It was an excellent game - and it still is, since you get buy it on Grand Old Games for about four quid. Duke Nukem Forever, on the other hand, is a big mess. As a Duke Nukem game it falls flat and as a 3D shoot-em-up it falls short of the accomplishments of other shooters.
The game starts with you, as Duke, finishing up his business in the bathroom. This is presumably to underline the fact that the game contains plenty of toilet humour and also that you can interact with various objects in the world. Thing is, messing around with physics is an option that's been available to anyone who's played Half Life 2 or any number of other post Half Life 2 games. And as for the humour? It's just not funny - I suspect Gearbox were trying to emulate the humour of the original game and failed miserably. It's not a case of me viewing the old game through rose-tinted glasses either - I played the original before having a crack at Forever and it's still good for a few laughs. Duke Nukem Forever, on the other hand, has few genuinely good gags, and it feels like Duke is just firing out quips and random without any real regard for context.
Once you've left the bathroom - and by this point you'll have noticed the controls feel a little wonky - you have a quick wanded through a corridor and see a bunch of SWAT members getting slaughtered by a monster in a football stadium which, as it turns out, is where you're holed up. Inconveniently for you, the corridor collapses, forcing you to find another way out. This where another of Forever's faults crops up. Whereas the previous game let you roam around the levels more or less at will - barring the odd locked door - Forever shunts you down a series of small linear levels and usually stops you backtracking by using a scripted event such as a door locking behind you.
Around this time, you'll also notice how poor the graphics are - they're scarcely better than those found on the original X-Box. The animation's pretty dire too. Eventually, you'll make your way to the stadium itself to take on the cycloid, the giant boss from the end of the last game. You might get killed by the monster, as I did and if you played the original Duke Nukem 3D, you'll wonder when Duke became such a p***y because many of the monsters in the game - bosses or not - can kill Duke in two or three hits at normal difficulty level. So instead of the balls-to-the-wall shoot-em-up antics of Duke Nukem 3D, you end up having to use the same kind of fire-cover-duck tactics you have to use in other shooters. And when you die, the game loads the level again, and given that the game has some excruciatingly long load times, that's one hell of a pain in itself.
Should you manage to kill the monster, the game continues - although that you'll have encountered several of the game's major flaws within the space of about five minutes, you may not want to continue. At this point I certainly wasn't having fun. But let me throw in another flaw since I'm on a roll. This involves partially spoiling the end of the game, so if you don't want to know how it ends, look away now. Right. Here goes. The boss you fight in the first few minutes of the game, the Cycloid, is the exact same monster you fight at the end of the game. No, I'm not kidding. After you kill the boss, it's revealed Duke was playing a game, so you're playing a game within a game, but the actual boss you've just killed is the end of game boss. Yeah, it's a pretty rubbish design decision and it smacks of trying to get this out of the door as soon as possible.
The game doesn't really get any better from here on in. I managed to make it to the game's third boss or so before I gave up because the game simply wasn't any fun. The game does occasionally throw in some vehicle sections, but these are pretty poor as well, given how poorly the vehicles handle. The game also has you solving some minor puzzles and jumping around on platforms on some reason which is a trial in itself given the wonkiness of the controls. And as for the puzzles? They're pretty dire too. How is it you're expected to bounce a pipebomb round a vent to set off a chain of explosions to open a door when Duke has been yanking open all the other metal doors he's encountered?
And then there's the monsters and the weapons. The game explains that the aliens from the previous game have come back. Which is really a convenient way of saying that they're going to use the exact same weapons and monsters in the game. And indeed, there are very few new monsters and very few new weapons, most having been recycled from Duke Nukem 3D. Even though the game might look like Duke Nukem 3D with a graphics upgrade, it's not - it isn't a patch on that game.
The game makes jokes about Duke himself being a relic, but that's not the problem with Forever. After all, Duke Nukem 3D has stood the test of time. The problem is that Duke Nukem Forever is just a bad game. It's a mish-mash of old and new gaming ideas, a Frankenstein's monster of a game that doesn't offer much to either fans of Duke Nukem 3D or gamers who are just looking for a good shoot-em-up. It'll probably sell on the name alone, but if Duke wasn't in it, there's no way this would have been released. If you're looking for more old-school shooting mayhem then try the original Duke Nukem 3D or wait for Serious Sam 3 to be released. And leave Duke Nukem Forever on the shelf.
Overall mark - 1 out of 5.
(review by me, also posted on dooyoo.co.uk)
Having said that, the uneven treatment of smoking is the least of Duke Nukem Forever's worries. I won't go into the detailed history of the game, but it's been in development for at least 12 years. The game was being developed by 3D Realms but they went bust, the game having become something of an industry joke. But now it's been finished by Gearbox Games and released by 2K. And was it worth the wait? No. It's a load of old rubbish.
The previous title in the Duke Nukem series, Duke Nukem 3D, was highly lauded and remains one of the best 3D shoot-em-ups ever. Unlike Doom, it took place in the real world - sort of - and had macho badass Duke Nukem slaughtering a bunch of evil aliens and firing out a bunch of quips as he did so. It was an excellent game - and it still is, since you get buy it on Grand Old Games for about four quid. Duke Nukem Forever, on the other hand, is a big mess. As a Duke Nukem game it falls flat and as a 3D shoot-em-up it falls short of the accomplishments of other shooters.
The game starts with you, as Duke, finishing up his business in the bathroom. This is presumably to underline the fact that the game contains plenty of toilet humour and also that you can interact with various objects in the world. Thing is, messing around with physics is an option that's been available to anyone who's played Half Life 2 or any number of other post Half Life 2 games. And as for the humour? It's just not funny - I suspect Gearbox were trying to emulate the humour of the original game and failed miserably. It's not a case of me viewing the old game through rose-tinted glasses either - I played the original before having a crack at Forever and it's still good for a few laughs. Duke Nukem Forever, on the other hand, has few genuinely good gags, and it feels like Duke is just firing out quips and random without any real regard for context.
Once you've left the bathroom - and by this point you'll have noticed the controls feel a little wonky - you have a quick wanded through a corridor and see a bunch of SWAT members getting slaughtered by a monster in a football stadium which, as it turns out, is where you're holed up. Inconveniently for you, the corridor collapses, forcing you to find another way out. This where another of Forever's faults crops up. Whereas the previous game let you roam around the levels more or less at will - barring the odd locked door - Forever shunts you down a series of small linear levels and usually stops you backtracking by using a scripted event such as a door locking behind you.
Around this time, you'll also notice how poor the graphics are - they're scarcely better than those found on the original X-Box. The animation's pretty dire too. Eventually, you'll make your way to the stadium itself to take on the cycloid, the giant boss from the end of the last game. You might get killed by the monster, as I did and if you played the original Duke Nukem 3D, you'll wonder when Duke became such a p***y because many of the monsters in the game - bosses or not - can kill Duke in two or three hits at normal difficulty level. So instead of the balls-to-the-wall shoot-em-up antics of Duke Nukem 3D, you end up having to use the same kind of fire-cover-duck tactics you have to use in other shooters. And when you die, the game loads the level again, and given that the game has some excruciatingly long load times, that's one hell of a pain in itself.
Should you manage to kill the monster, the game continues - although that you'll have encountered several of the game's major flaws within the space of about five minutes, you may not want to continue. At this point I certainly wasn't having fun. But let me throw in another flaw since I'm on a roll. This involves partially spoiling the end of the game, so if you don't want to know how it ends, look away now. Right. Here goes. The boss you fight in the first few minutes of the game, the Cycloid, is the exact same monster you fight at the end of the game. No, I'm not kidding. After you kill the boss, it's revealed Duke was playing a game, so you're playing a game within a game, but the actual boss you've just killed is the end of game boss. Yeah, it's a pretty rubbish design decision and it smacks of trying to get this out of the door as soon as possible.
The game doesn't really get any better from here on in. I managed to make it to the game's third boss or so before I gave up because the game simply wasn't any fun. The game does occasionally throw in some vehicle sections, but these are pretty poor as well, given how poorly the vehicles handle. The game also has you solving some minor puzzles and jumping around on platforms on some reason which is a trial in itself given the wonkiness of the controls. And as for the puzzles? They're pretty dire too. How is it you're expected to bounce a pipebomb round a vent to set off a chain of explosions to open a door when Duke has been yanking open all the other metal doors he's encountered?
And then there's the monsters and the weapons. The game explains that the aliens from the previous game have come back. Which is really a convenient way of saying that they're going to use the exact same weapons and monsters in the game. And indeed, there are very few new monsters and very few new weapons, most having been recycled from Duke Nukem 3D. Even though the game might look like Duke Nukem 3D with a graphics upgrade, it's not - it isn't a patch on that game.
The game makes jokes about Duke himself being a relic, but that's not the problem with Forever. After all, Duke Nukem 3D has stood the test of time. The problem is that Duke Nukem Forever is just a bad game. It's a mish-mash of old and new gaming ideas, a Frankenstein's monster of a game that doesn't offer much to either fans of Duke Nukem 3D or gamers who are just looking for a good shoot-em-up. It'll probably sell on the name alone, but if Duke wasn't in it, there's no way this would have been released. If you're looking for more old-school shooting mayhem then try the original Duke Nukem 3D or wait for Serious Sam 3 to be released. And leave Duke Nukem Forever on the shelf.
Overall mark - 1 out of 5.
(review by me, also posted on dooyoo.co.uk)
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Ever wonder what video gaming's last taboo is? No - me, neither. However, having played Duke Nukem Forever, it would seem to be smoking, which would certainly reflect Hollywood's position on the matter. Aside from the game's mainstay, which is slaughtering evil aliens, Duke Nukem Forever lets you get up to all sorts of behaviour that is generally frowned upon by polite society. You can get drunk out of your head on beer, take steroids, fling poo around, kill topless women and squash small animals. But smoking? No chance - even though there are packs of cigarettes in the game, the game won't let you use them. You can, however, chug down beer till you're very ill indeed. Which seems kind of uneven to me. Yes, smoking is a disgusting habit, but is it worse than all the other things in the game? I doubt it.
Having said that, the uneven treatment of smoking is the least of Duke Nukem Forever's worries. I won't go into the detailed history of the game, but it's been in development for at least 12 years. The game was being developed by 3D Realms but they went bust, the game having become something of an industry joke. But now it's been finished by Gearbox Games and released by 2K. And was it worth the wait? No. It's a load of old rubbish.
The previous title in the Duke Nukem series, Duke Nukem 3D, was highly lauded and remains one of the best 3D shoot-em-ups ever. Unlike Doom, it took place in the real world - sort of - and had macho badass Duke Nukem slaughtering a bunch of evil aliens and firing out a bunch of quips as he did so. It was an excellent game - and it still is, since you get buy it on Grand Old Games for about four quid. Duke Nukem Forever, on the other hand, is a big mess. As a Duke Nukem game it falls flat and as a 3D shoot-em-up it falls short of the accomplishments of other shooters.
The game starts with you, as Duke, finishing up his business in the bathroom. This is presumably to underline the fact that the game contains plenty of toilet humour and also that you can interact with various objects in the world. Thing is, messing around with physics is an option that's been available to anyone who's played Half Life 2 or any number of other post Half Life 2 games. And as for the humour? It's just not funny - I suspect Gearbox were trying to emulate the humour of the original game and failed miserably. It's not a case of me viewing the old game through rose-tinted glasses either - I played the original before having a crack at Forever and it's still good for a few laughs. Duke Nukem Forever, on the other hand, has few genuinely good gags, and it feels like Duke is just firing out quips and random without any real regard for context.
Once you've left the bathroom - and by this point you'll have noticed the controls feel a little wonky - you have a quick wanded through a corridor and see a bunch of SWAT members getting slaughtered by a monster in a football stadium which, as it turns out, is where you're holed up. Inconveniently for you, the corridor collapses, forcing you to find another way out. This where another of Forever's faults crops up. Whereas the previous game let you roam around the levels more or less at will - barring the odd locked door - Forever shunts you down a series of small linear levels and usually stops you backtracking by using a scripted event such as a door locking behind you.
Around this time, you'll also notice how poor the graphics are - they're scarcely better than those found on the original X-Box. The animation's pretty dire too. Eventually, you'll make your way to the stadium itself to take on the cycloid, the giant boss from the end of the last game. You might get killed by the monster, as I did and if you played the original Duke Nukem 3D, you'll wonder when Duke became such a p***y because many of the monsters in the game - bosses or not - can kill Duke in two or three hits at normal difficulty level. So instead of the balls-to-the-wall shoot-em-up antics of Duke Nukem 3D, you end up having to use the same kind of fire-cover-duck tactics you have to use in other shooters. And when you die, the game loads the level again, and given that the game has some excruciatingly long load times, that's one hell of a pain in itself.
Should you manage to kill the monster, the game continues - although that you'll have encountered several of the game's major flaws within the space of about five minutes, you may not want to continue. At this point I certainly wasn't having fun. But let me throw in another flaw since I'm on a roll. This involves partially spoiling the end of the game, so if you don't want to know how it ends, look away now. Right. Here goes. The boss you fight in the first few minutes of the game, the Cycloid, is the exact same monster you fight at the end of the game. No, I'm not kidding. After you kill the boss, it's revealed Duke was playing a game, so you're playing a game within a game, but the actual boss you've just killed is the end of game boss. Yeah, it's a pretty rubbish design decision and it smacks of trying to get this out of the door as soon as possible.
The game doesn't really get any better from here on in. I managed to make it to the game's third boss or so before I gave up because the game simply wasn't any fun. The game does occasionally throw in some vehicle sections, but these are pretty poor as well, given how poorly the vehicles handle. The game also has you solving some minor puzzles and jumping around on platforms on some reason which is a trial in itself given the wonkiness of the controls. And as for the puzzles? They're pretty dire too. How is it you're expected to bounce a pipebomb round a vent to set off a chain of explosions to open a door when Duke has been yanking open all the other metal doors he's encountered?
And then there's the monsters and the weapons. The game explains that the aliens from the previous game have come back. Which is really a convenient way of saying that they're going to use the exact same weapons and monsters in the game. And indeed, there are very few new monsters and very few new weapons, most having been recycled from Duke Nukem 3D. Even though the game might look like Duke Nukem 3D with a graphics upgrade, it's not - it isn't a patch on that game.
The game makes jokes about Duke himself being a relic, but that's not the problem with Forever. After all, Duke Nukem 3D has stood the test of time. The problem is that Duke Nukem Forever is just a bad game. It's a mish-mash of old and new gaming ideas, a Frankenstein's monster of a game that doesn't offer much to either fans of Duke Nukem 3D or gamers who are just looking for a good shoot-em-up. It'll probably sell on the name alone, but if Duke wasn't in it, there's no way this would have been released. If you're looking for more old-school shooting mayhem then try the original Duke Nukem 3D or wait for Serious Sam 3 to be released. And leave Duke Nukem Forever on the shelf.
Overall mark - 1 out of 5.
(review by me, also posted on dooyoo.co.uk)
Having said that, the uneven treatment of smoking is the least of Duke Nukem Forever's worries. I won't go into the detailed history of the game, but it's been in development for at least 12 years. The game was being developed by 3D Realms but they went bust, the game having become something of an industry joke. But now it's been finished by Gearbox Games and released by 2K. And was it worth the wait? No. It's a load of old rubbish.
The previous title in the Duke Nukem series, Duke Nukem 3D, was highly lauded and remains one of the best 3D shoot-em-ups ever. Unlike Doom, it took place in the real world - sort of - and had macho badass Duke Nukem slaughtering a bunch of evil aliens and firing out a bunch of quips as he did so. It was an excellent game - and it still is, since you get buy it on Grand Old Games for about four quid. Duke Nukem Forever, on the other hand, is a big mess. As a Duke Nukem game it falls flat and as a 3D shoot-em-up it falls short of the accomplishments of other shooters.
The game starts with you, as Duke, finishing up his business in the bathroom. This is presumably to underline the fact that the game contains plenty of toilet humour and also that you can interact with various objects in the world. Thing is, messing around with physics is an option that's been available to anyone who's played Half Life 2 or any number of other post Half Life 2 games. And as for the humour? It's just not funny - I suspect Gearbox were trying to emulate the humour of the original game and failed miserably. It's not a case of me viewing the old game through rose-tinted glasses either - I played the original before having a crack at Forever and it's still good for a few laughs. Duke Nukem Forever, on the other hand, has few genuinely good gags, and it feels like Duke is just firing out quips and random without any real regard for context.
Once you've left the bathroom - and by this point you'll have noticed the controls feel a little wonky - you have a quick wanded through a corridor and see a bunch of SWAT members getting slaughtered by a monster in a football stadium which, as it turns out, is where you're holed up. Inconveniently for you, the corridor collapses, forcing you to find another way out. This where another of Forever's faults crops up. Whereas the previous game let you roam around the levels more or less at will - barring the odd locked door - Forever shunts you down a series of small linear levels and usually stops you backtracking by using a scripted event such as a door locking behind you.
Around this time, you'll also notice how poor the graphics are - they're scarcely better than those found on the original X-Box. The animation's pretty dire too. Eventually, you'll make your way to the stadium itself to take on the cycloid, the giant boss from the end of the last game. You might get killed by the monster, as I did and if you played the original Duke Nukem 3D, you'll wonder when Duke became such a p***y because many of the monsters in the game - bosses or not - can kill Duke in two or three hits at normal difficulty level. So instead of the balls-to-the-wall shoot-em-up antics of Duke Nukem 3D, you end up having to use the same kind of fire-cover-duck tactics you have to use in other shooters. And when you die, the game loads the level again, and given that the game has some excruciatingly long load times, that's one hell of a pain in itself.
Should you manage to kill the monster, the game continues - although that you'll have encountered several of the game's major flaws within the space of about five minutes, you may not want to continue. At this point I certainly wasn't having fun. But let me throw in another flaw since I'm on a roll. This involves partially spoiling the end of the game, so if you don't want to know how it ends, look away now. Right. Here goes. The boss you fight in the first few minutes of the game, the Cycloid, is the exact same monster you fight at the end of the game. No, I'm not kidding. After you kill the boss, it's revealed Duke was playing a game, so you're playing a game within a game, but the actual boss you've just killed is the end of game boss. Yeah, it's a pretty rubbish design decision and it smacks of trying to get this out of the door as soon as possible.
The game doesn't really get any better from here on in. I managed to make it to the game's third boss or so before I gave up because the game simply wasn't any fun. The game does occasionally throw in some vehicle sections, but these are pretty poor as well, given how poorly the vehicles handle. The game also has you solving some minor puzzles and jumping around on platforms on some reason which is a trial in itself given the wonkiness of the controls. And as for the puzzles? They're pretty dire too. How is it you're expected to bounce a pipebomb round a vent to set off a chain of explosions to open a door when Duke has been yanking open all the other metal doors he's encountered?
And then there's the monsters and the weapons. The game explains that the aliens from the previous game have come back. Which is really a convenient way of saying that they're going to use the exact same weapons and monsters in the game. And indeed, there are very few new monsters and very few new weapons, most having been recycled from Duke Nukem 3D. Even though the game might look like Duke Nukem 3D with a graphics upgrade, it's not - it isn't a patch on that game.
The game makes jokes about Duke himself being a relic, but that's not the problem with Forever. After all, Duke Nukem 3D has stood the test of time. The problem is that Duke Nukem Forever is just a bad game. It's a mish-mash of old and new gaming ideas, a Frankenstein's monster of a game that doesn't offer much to either fans of Duke Nukem 3D or gamers who are just looking for a good shoot-em-up. It'll probably sell on the name alone, but if Duke wasn't in it, there's no way this would have been released. If you're looking for more old-school shooting mayhem then try the original Duke Nukem 3D or wait for Serious Sam 3 to be released. And leave Duke Nukem Forever on the shelf.
Overall mark - 1 out of 5.
(review by me, also posted on dooyoo.co.uk)