The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
This one is adapted from the competition entry for the movie script. Enjoy.
Tony has arranged a meeting between all the users of the UKChatforums. Unfortunately, it looks like only Goatboy, Strafex, M16, Dringo and The Game have been able to get there in time. Ali stands in the kitchen making tea for everyone while they decide what to do next.
“Tony.” Says Goatboy. “only five of us have turned up. Not much point doing anything spectacular now.”
Tony looked unhappy at this turn out. “Ok, as there are so few of us, I think we should all go down the pub instead.”
“Sounds good to me!” said Strafex.
After parking Strafex’s mini in the car park of the town, they make their way to the pub, which involved a lot of dragging as Dringo seems to be stopping at every shop window in sight along the way. Unseen by the gang, a strange looking unmarked lorry, obviously containing hazardous chemicals, is heading straight for the door of the pub. There are only a few people in the building and luckily they see the truck and manage to escape as it just scrapes the door, knocking over a glowing barrel of something oozy on to the floor of the entrance before driving off at top speed in a cloud of smoke.
Tony and co enter the deserted pub, unaware of the mysterious glow surrounding the building as they are eager to get a drink. The scene before them startles all but M16, as they stand there and watch him go to the bar, where a large ape is wiping down the bar. M16 passes tables of chimps, baboons and other monkeys before reaching the bar where he finally stops and does a double take before shrieking and running back to the rest of them.
“Hey!” says a large ape sitting at a bar next to them, “No pets. Who brought pets in here?”
“It’s ok maurice.” Says a friendly looking gorilla as they turn around. “They’re with us.”
“Just make sure you keep them on a lead then.” Snorted the ape.
After sitting with the table of friendly looking gorillas, the gang find out that this is an alternate reality and after quite a few drinks, accept it as if it ís normal., just so long as they serve proper beer. The gorillas, Burt, James and Fredrick, are intrigued and ask to be shown back to the other world, where their kind are locked in cages.
“But we don’t really know how we got here anyway.” Explained Tony.
“Yeah.” Said The Game, “We just walked through that door.” He pointed to the front door of the pub, still glowing with strange ooze.
“Perhaps we could try walking back out with you then…” said James.
They dutifully show them the way out and as they walk through the door, find themselves back in the human dimension with a busy shopping precinct in view.
One of the apes, Burt, is pretty freaked out by what he sees.
“It’s madness!” he screams and climbs on the roof of a nearby bus. The driver returns and shouts angrily at the others. "Get the monkey off the roof."
“It’s not a monkey, mate, it’s a gorilla.” Shouts Goatboy at the driver.
“Whatever! Just get it off!”
They eventually calm Burt down and coax him off the roof and Strafex goes with him to get his Mini that is waiting outside.
The rest of them wait around until Strafex turns up with Bert stuck in the back of the mini, arms coming out of the windows.
"How'd he fit it in there?" asks Goatboy, but the only answer given by Strafex is a tub of Vaseline.
“Sorry I asked!” says Goatboy and climbs in the other car with the two other gorillas.
They all make their way back to the office, the rest of them in Dringo’s station wagon passing a nearby police car with a couple of startled policemen in.
“Thank goodness for that!” said Dringo. “I thought they were going to give chase after seeing Bert in Strafex’s car.”
--- --
The gorillas and SR crew sit a side office of Special Reserve, drinking coffee which Ali has made once he calms down from the gorilla hair all over the carpet.
“I think itís best If you return to your reality.” Says Ali before Tony can stifle a muttered grumble about being angry for getting monkey hair on his couch. “Those policemen were giving us funny looks earlier and I think they were a bit suspicious of a monkey in a mini.” Ali looked at Strafex as he said this, making it clear that he didn’t approve of gorillas in the mini.
The gang gather around the TV, which The Game has turned on after getting bored. The pictures show them driving along with the gorillas and a newsreader explains that the military have been sent to deal with the situation as soon as possible. A ring at the door has everyone startled.
“Is that the army?” asks Frederick, hiding behind the sofa.
“No, it's only the postman” says Dringo as he peeps out from the office blinds. ”How the heck are we going to get these three back to their dimension if we’re even afraid of the postman?”
Tony cautiously opens the door to the postman, who offers him a parcel.
“Aha,” says Tony accepting the parcel from the postman while the others hide. “That will be the fancy dress costumes for the Christmas play. Lads, I have an idea.”
M16, The Game and Goatboy stand outside of the small warehouse room as the door opens and Tony walks out beaming all over. Following him are three slightly obviously dressed up monkeys.
“Mum?” exclaims M16 as he sees Bert walk out.
“That’s not your mum.” Whispers The Game in his ear.
"If that's not my mother, then who is it?" says M16 loudly to the amusement of the rest of them.
Bert takes off his hat and shouts “Tada!”, M16 puts his hand to his head in embarrassment.
Goatboy looks at the monkeys and rubs his chin. “You know, it’s a crazy idea, but it might just work.”
Using The Game and Ali’s cars, the gang quickly make their way back to the pub. Unfortunately the police have set up roadblocks and are searching all the vehicles. The gang ditch the cars behind a hedge and sneak past the roadblocks.
After running for a while they see the pub straight ahead and make a dash for it. The army are looking around, several men with guns are shouting orders, but pay no attention to the odd looking group of people. Suddenly, Bert’s dress tears on a bush and one of the soldiers looks around to see a gorilla in a hat.
“Damn!” says Tony, seeing the soldier. “It’s Major Lee, he’s always had it in for me ever since I sold him Superman on the N64. He hates games now.”
“Put the gorilla down and come quietly.” He shouts at Tony and co.
“I donít think so!” says Tony as they make a run for the entrance.
The gang dodge bullets as they dive for the entrance to the pub. Just about making it, they pick themselves up from the floor and find themselves in their own pub, with people quietly having a drink. After panicking, they realise that the monkeys have gone and they are alone.
--
A little later, when the army notice that the pub is quiet, the army major storms in to the pub and looks around. He turns to Tony and demands “Where are those apes?”
“What apes?” asks Tony and the whole pub seems to shrug it’s collective shoulders as the Major’s face gets redder.
“I’ll catch you out one day Tony, and when I do, you’ll be sorry!” says the major as he storms out while the others try not to laugh too loudly into their beer.
“Well done lads.” Said Tony, having another drink.
Tony has arranged a meeting between all the users of the UKChatforums. Unfortunately, it looks like only Goatboy, Strafex, M16, Dringo and The Game have been able to get there in time. Ali stands in the kitchen making tea for everyone while they decide what to do next.
“Tony.” Says Goatboy. “only five of us have turned up. Not much point doing anything spectacular now.”
Tony looked unhappy at this turn out. “Ok, as there are so few of us, I think we should all go down the pub instead.”
“Sounds good to me!” said Strafex.
After parking Strafex’s mini in the car park of the town, they make their way to the pub, which involved a lot of dragging as Dringo seems to be stopping at every shop window in sight along the way. Unseen by the gang, a strange looking unmarked lorry, obviously containing hazardous chemicals, is heading straight for the door of the pub. There are only a few people in the building and luckily they see the truck and manage to escape as it just scrapes the door, knocking over a glowing barrel of something oozy on to the floor of the entrance before driving off at top speed in a cloud of smoke.
Tony and co enter the deserted pub, unaware of the mysterious glow surrounding the building as they are eager to get a drink. The scene before them startles all but M16, as they stand there and watch him go to the bar, where a large ape is wiping down the bar. M16 passes tables of chimps, baboons and other monkeys before reaching the bar where he finally stops and does a double take before shrieking and running back to the rest of them.
“Hey!” says a large ape sitting at a bar next to them, “No pets. Who brought pets in here?”
“It’s ok maurice.” Says a friendly looking gorilla as they turn around. “They’re with us.”
“Just make sure you keep them on a lead then.” Snorted the ape.
After sitting with the table of friendly looking gorillas, the gang find out that this is an alternate reality and after quite a few drinks, accept it as if it ís normal., just so long as they serve proper beer. The gorillas, Burt, James and Fredrick, are intrigued and ask to be shown back to the other world, where their kind are locked in cages.
“But we don’t really know how we got here anyway.” Explained Tony.
“Yeah.” Said The Game, “We just walked through that door.” He pointed to the front door of the pub, still glowing with strange ooze.
“Perhaps we could try walking back out with you then…” said James.
They dutifully show them the way out and as they walk through the door, find themselves back in the human dimension with a busy shopping precinct in view.
One of the apes, Burt, is pretty freaked out by what he sees.
“It’s madness!” he screams and climbs on the roof of a nearby bus. The driver returns and shouts angrily at the others. "Get the monkey off the roof."
“It’s not a monkey, mate, it’s a gorilla.” Shouts Goatboy at the driver.
“Whatever! Just get it off!”
They eventually calm Burt down and coax him off the roof and Strafex goes with him to get his Mini that is waiting outside.
The rest of them wait around until Strafex turns up with Bert stuck in the back of the mini, arms coming out of the windows.
"How'd he fit it in there?" asks Goatboy, but the only answer given by Strafex is a tub of Vaseline.
“Sorry I asked!” says Goatboy and climbs in the other car with the two other gorillas.
They all make their way back to the office, the rest of them in Dringo’s station wagon passing a nearby police car with a couple of startled policemen in.
“Thank goodness for that!” said Dringo. “I thought they were going to give chase after seeing Bert in Strafex’s car.”
--- --
The gorillas and SR crew sit a side office of Special Reserve, drinking coffee which Ali has made once he calms down from the gorilla hair all over the carpet.
“I think itís best If you return to your reality.” Says Ali before Tony can stifle a muttered grumble about being angry for getting monkey hair on his couch. “Those policemen were giving us funny looks earlier and I think they were a bit suspicious of a monkey in a mini.” Ali looked at Strafex as he said this, making it clear that he didn’t approve of gorillas in the mini.
The gang gather around the TV, which The Game has turned on after getting bored. The pictures show them driving along with the gorillas and a newsreader explains that the military have been sent to deal with the situation as soon as possible. A ring at the door has everyone startled.
“Is that the army?” asks Frederick, hiding behind the sofa.
“No, it's only the postman” says Dringo as he peeps out from the office blinds. ”How the heck are we going to get these three back to their dimension if we’re even afraid of the postman?”
Tony cautiously opens the door to the postman, who offers him a parcel.
“Aha,” says Tony accepting the parcel from the postman while the others hide. “That will be the fancy dress costumes for the Christmas play. Lads, I have an idea.”
M16, The Game and Goatboy stand outside of the small warehouse room as the door opens and Tony walks out beaming all over. Following him are three slightly obviously dressed up monkeys.
“Mum?” exclaims M16 as he sees Bert walk out.
“That’s not your mum.” Whispers The Game in his ear.
"If that's not my mother, then who is it?" says M16 loudly to the amusement of the rest of them.
Bert takes off his hat and shouts “Tada!”, M16 puts his hand to his head in embarrassment.
Goatboy looks at the monkeys and rubs his chin. “You know, it’s a crazy idea, but it might just work.”
Using The Game and Ali’s cars, the gang quickly make their way back to the pub. Unfortunately the police have set up roadblocks and are searching all the vehicles. The gang ditch the cars behind a hedge and sneak past the roadblocks.
After running for a while they see the pub straight ahead and make a dash for it. The army are looking around, several men with guns are shouting orders, but pay no attention to the odd looking group of people. Suddenly, Bert’s dress tears on a bush and one of the soldiers looks around to see a gorilla in a hat.
“Damn!” says Tony, seeing the soldier. “It’s Major Lee, he’s always had it in for me ever since I sold him Superman on the N64. He hates games now.”
“Put the gorilla down and come quietly.” He shouts at Tony and co.
“I donít think so!” says Tony as they make a run for the entrance.
The gang dodge bullets as they dive for the entrance to the pub. Just about making it, they pick themselves up from the floor and find themselves in their own pub, with people quietly having a drink. After panicking, they realise that the monkeys have gone and they are alone.
--
A little later, when the army notice that the pub is quiet, the army major storms in to the pub and looks around. He turns to Tony and demands “Where are those apes?”
“What apes?” asks Tony and the whole pub seems to shrug it’s collective shoulders as the Major’s face gets redder.
“I’ll catch you out one day Tony, and when I do, you’ll be sorry!” says the major as he storms out while the others try not to laugh too loudly into their beer.
“Well done lads.” Said Tony, having another drink.
There have been no replies to this thread yet.
This one is adapted from the competition entry for the movie script. Enjoy.
Tony has arranged a meeting between all the users of the UKChatforums. Unfortunately, it looks like only Goatboy, Strafex, M16, Dringo and The Game have been able to get there in time. Ali stands in the kitchen making tea for everyone while they decide what to do next.
“Tony.” Says Goatboy. “only five of us have turned up. Not much point doing anything spectacular now.”
Tony looked unhappy at this turn out. “Ok, as there are so few of us, I think we should all go down the pub instead.”
“Sounds good to me!” said Strafex.
After parking Strafex’s mini in the car park of the town, they make their way to the pub, which involved a lot of dragging as Dringo seems to be stopping at every shop window in sight along the way. Unseen by the gang, a strange looking unmarked lorry, obviously containing hazardous chemicals, is heading straight for the door of the pub. There are only a few people in the building and luckily they see the truck and manage to escape as it just scrapes the door, knocking over a glowing barrel of something oozy on to the floor of the entrance before driving off at top speed in a cloud of smoke.
Tony and co enter the deserted pub, unaware of the mysterious glow surrounding the building as they are eager to get a drink. The scene before them startles all but M16, as they stand there and watch him go to the bar, where a large ape is wiping down the bar. M16 passes tables of chimps, baboons and other monkeys before reaching the bar where he finally stops and does a double take before shrieking and running back to the rest of them.
“Hey!” says a large ape sitting at a bar next to them, “No pets. Who brought pets in here?”
“It’s ok maurice.” Says a friendly looking gorilla as they turn around. “They’re with us.”
“Just make sure you keep them on a lead then.” Snorted the ape.
After sitting with the table of friendly looking gorillas, the gang find out that this is an alternate reality and after quite a few drinks, accept it as if it ís normal., just so long as they serve proper beer. The gorillas, Burt, James and Fredrick, are intrigued and ask to be shown back to the other world, where their kind are locked in cages.
“But we don’t really know how we got here anyway.” Explained Tony.
“Yeah.” Said The Game, “We just walked through that door.” He pointed to the front door of the pub, still glowing with strange ooze.
“Perhaps we could try walking back out with you then…” said James.
They dutifully show them the way out and as they walk through the door, find themselves back in the human dimension with a busy shopping precinct in view.
One of the apes, Burt, is pretty freaked out by what he sees.
“It’s madness!” he screams and climbs on the roof of a nearby bus. The driver returns and shouts angrily at the others. "Get the monkey off the roof."
“It’s not a monkey, mate, it’s a gorilla.” Shouts Goatboy at the driver.
“Whatever! Just get it off!”
They eventually calm Burt down and coax him off the roof and Strafex goes with him to get his Mini that is waiting outside.
The rest of them wait around until Strafex turns up with Bert stuck in the back of the mini, arms coming out of the windows.
"How'd he fit it in there?" asks Goatboy, but the only answer given by Strafex is a tub of Vaseline.
“Sorry I asked!” says Goatboy and climbs in the other car with the two other gorillas.
They all make their way back to the office, the rest of them in Dringo’s station wagon passing a nearby police car with a couple of startled policemen in.
“Thank goodness for that!” said Dringo. “I thought they were going to give chase after seeing Bert in Strafex’s car.”
--- --
The gorillas and SR crew sit a side office of Special Reserve, drinking coffee which Ali has made once he calms down from the gorilla hair all over the carpet.
“I think itís best If you return to your reality.” Says Ali before Tony can stifle a muttered grumble about being angry for getting monkey hair on his couch. “Those policemen were giving us funny looks earlier and I think they were a bit suspicious of a monkey in a mini.” Ali looked at Strafex as he said this, making it clear that he didn’t approve of gorillas in the mini.
The gang gather around the TV, which The Game has turned on after getting bored. The pictures show them driving along with the gorillas and a newsreader explains that the military have been sent to deal with the situation as soon as possible. A ring at the door has everyone startled.
“Is that the army?” asks Frederick, hiding behind the sofa.
“No, it's only the postman” says Dringo as he peeps out from the office blinds. ”How the heck are we going to get these three back to their dimension if we’re even afraid of the postman?”
Tony cautiously opens the door to the postman, who offers him a parcel.
“Aha,” says Tony accepting the parcel from the postman while the others hide. “That will be the fancy dress costumes for the Christmas play. Lads, I have an idea.”
M16, The Game and Goatboy stand outside of the small warehouse room as the door opens and Tony walks out beaming all over. Following him are three slightly obviously dressed up monkeys.
“Mum?” exclaims M16 as he sees Bert walk out.
“That’s not your mum.” Whispers The Game in his ear.
"If that's not my mother, then who is it?" says M16 loudly to the amusement of the rest of them.
Bert takes off his hat and shouts “Tada!”, M16 puts his hand to his head in embarrassment.
Goatboy looks at the monkeys and rubs his chin. “You know, it’s a crazy idea, but it might just work.”
Using The Game and Ali’s cars, the gang quickly make their way back to the pub. Unfortunately the police have set up roadblocks and are searching all the vehicles. The gang ditch the cars behind a hedge and sneak past the roadblocks.
After running for a while they see the pub straight ahead and make a dash for it. The army are looking around, several men with guns are shouting orders, but pay no attention to the odd looking group of people. Suddenly, Bert’s dress tears on a bush and one of the soldiers looks around to see a gorilla in a hat.
“Damn!” says Tony, seeing the soldier. “It’s Major Lee, he’s always had it in for me ever since I sold him Superman on the N64. He hates games now.”
“Put the gorilla down and come quietly.” He shouts at Tony and co.
“I donít think so!” says Tony as they make a run for the entrance.
The gang dodge bullets as they dive for the entrance to the pub. Just about making it, they pick themselves up from the floor and find themselves in their own pub, with people quietly having a drink. After panicking, they realise that the monkeys have gone and they are alone.
--
A little later, when the army notice that the pub is quiet, the army major storms in to the pub and looks around. He turns to Tony and demands “Where are those apes?”
“What apes?” asks Tony and the whole pub seems to shrug it’s collective shoulders as the Major’s face gets redder.
“I’ll catch you out one day Tony, and when I do, you’ll be sorry!” says the major as he storms out while the others try not to laugh too loudly into their beer.
“Well done lads.” Said Tony, having another drink.
Tony has arranged a meeting between all the users of the UKChatforums. Unfortunately, it looks like only Goatboy, Strafex, M16, Dringo and The Game have been able to get there in time. Ali stands in the kitchen making tea for everyone while they decide what to do next.
“Tony.” Says Goatboy. “only five of us have turned up. Not much point doing anything spectacular now.”
Tony looked unhappy at this turn out. “Ok, as there are so few of us, I think we should all go down the pub instead.”
“Sounds good to me!” said Strafex.
After parking Strafex’s mini in the car park of the town, they make their way to the pub, which involved a lot of dragging as Dringo seems to be stopping at every shop window in sight along the way. Unseen by the gang, a strange looking unmarked lorry, obviously containing hazardous chemicals, is heading straight for the door of the pub. There are only a few people in the building and luckily they see the truck and manage to escape as it just scrapes the door, knocking over a glowing barrel of something oozy on to the floor of the entrance before driving off at top speed in a cloud of smoke.
Tony and co enter the deserted pub, unaware of the mysterious glow surrounding the building as they are eager to get a drink. The scene before them startles all but M16, as they stand there and watch him go to the bar, where a large ape is wiping down the bar. M16 passes tables of chimps, baboons and other monkeys before reaching the bar where he finally stops and does a double take before shrieking and running back to the rest of them.
“Hey!” says a large ape sitting at a bar next to them, “No pets. Who brought pets in here?”
“It’s ok maurice.” Says a friendly looking gorilla as they turn around. “They’re with us.”
“Just make sure you keep them on a lead then.” Snorted the ape.
After sitting with the table of friendly looking gorillas, the gang find out that this is an alternate reality and after quite a few drinks, accept it as if it ís normal., just so long as they serve proper beer. The gorillas, Burt, James and Fredrick, are intrigued and ask to be shown back to the other world, where their kind are locked in cages.
“But we don’t really know how we got here anyway.” Explained Tony.
“Yeah.” Said The Game, “We just walked through that door.” He pointed to the front door of the pub, still glowing with strange ooze.
“Perhaps we could try walking back out with you then…” said James.
They dutifully show them the way out and as they walk through the door, find themselves back in the human dimension with a busy shopping precinct in view.
One of the apes, Burt, is pretty freaked out by what he sees.
“It’s madness!” he screams and climbs on the roof of a nearby bus. The driver returns and shouts angrily at the others. "Get the monkey off the roof."
“It’s not a monkey, mate, it’s a gorilla.” Shouts Goatboy at the driver.
“Whatever! Just get it off!”
They eventually calm Burt down and coax him off the roof and Strafex goes with him to get his Mini that is waiting outside.
The rest of them wait around until Strafex turns up with Bert stuck in the back of the mini, arms coming out of the windows.
"How'd he fit it in there?" asks Goatboy, but the only answer given by Strafex is a tub of Vaseline.
“Sorry I asked!” says Goatboy and climbs in the other car with the two other gorillas.
They all make their way back to the office, the rest of them in Dringo’s station wagon passing a nearby police car with a couple of startled policemen in.
“Thank goodness for that!” said Dringo. “I thought they were going to give chase after seeing Bert in Strafex’s car.”
--- --
The gorillas and SR crew sit a side office of Special Reserve, drinking coffee which Ali has made once he calms down from the gorilla hair all over the carpet.
“I think itís best If you return to your reality.” Says Ali before Tony can stifle a muttered grumble about being angry for getting monkey hair on his couch. “Those policemen were giving us funny looks earlier and I think they were a bit suspicious of a monkey in a mini.” Ali looked at Strafex as he said this, making it clear that he didn’t approve of gorillas in the mini.
The gang gather around the TV, which The Game has turned on after getting bored. The pictures show them driving along with the gorillas and a newsreader explains that the military have been sent to deal with the situation as soon as possible. A ring at the door has everyone startled.
“Is that the army?” asks Frederick, hiding behind the sofa.
“No, it's only the postman” says Dringo as he peeps out from the office blinds. ”How the heck are we going to get these three back to their dimension if we’re even afraid of the postman?”
Tony cautiously opens the door to the postman, who offers him a parcel.
“Aha,” says Tony accepting the parcel from the postman while the others hide. “That will be the fancy dress costumes for the Christmas play. Lads, I have an idea.”
M16, The Game and Goatboy stand outside of the small warehouse room as the door opens and Tony walks out beaming all over. Following him are three slightly obviously dressed up monkeys.
“Mum?” exclaims M16 as he sees Bert walk out.
“That’s not your mum.” Whispers The Game in his ear.
"If that's not my mother, then who is it?" says M16 loudly to the amusement of the rest of them.
Bert takes off his hat and shouts “Tada!”, M16 puts his hand to his head in embarrassment.
Goatboy looks at the monkeys and rubs his chin. “You know, it’s a crazy idea, but it might just work.”
Using The Game and Ali’s cars, the gang quickly make their way back to the pub. Unfortunately the police have set up roadblocks and are searching all the vehicles. The gang ditch the cars behind a hedge and sneak past the roadblocks.
After running for a while they see the pub straight ahead and make a dash for it. The army are looking around, several men with guns are shouting orders, but pay no attention to the odd looking group of people. Suddenly, Bert’s dress tears on a bush and one of the soldiers looks around to see a gorilla in a hat.
“Damn!” says Tony, seeing the soldier. “It’s Major Lee, he’s always had it in for me ever since I sold him Superman on the N64. He hates games now.”
“Put the gorilla down and come quietly.” He shouts at Tony and co.
“I donít think so!” says Tony as they make a run for the entrance.
The gang dodge bullets as they dive for the entrance to the pub. Just about making it, they pick themselves up from the floor and find themselves in their own pub, with people quietly having a drink. After panicking, they realise that the monkeys have gone and they are alone.
--
A little later, when the army notice that the pub is quiet, the army major storms in to the pub and looks around. He turns to Tony and demands “Where are those apes?”
“What apes?” asks Tony and the whole pub seems to shrug it’s collective shoulders as the Major’s face gets redder.
“I’ll catch you out one day Tony, and when I do, you’ll be sorry!” says the major as he storms out while the others try not to laugh too loudly into their beer.
“Well done lads.” Said Tony, having another drink.