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Tonty Rainbird woke up one morning, stretched, and took off his Postman Pat Pyjamas. He put on his nice, new suit, and his Yellow and Green tie. He strolled down his spiral staircase, walked through his large but modest lounge, and headed into his kitchen. The sun shined through the windows, causing Tonty to protect his eyes from the brightness. His wife was making a fry-up. Tonty licked his lips, and took a seat at his chipped wooden table.
His wife placed a plate full of bacon, eggs, tomatoes and other tasty, fatty delights in front of him. He made to pick up his knife and fork, and grabbed at nothing but air. He was outraged at this, and was about to scream at his wife when she disproved her supposed insolence, and handed him his cutlery. Tonty remembered an important ingredient, and leant across to grab the Tomato Ketchup. He flipped the lid, turned it towards it himself, and squeezed.
"BWAH HA HA HA HA!!!!"
Tonty suddenly shrieked with laughter. His wife turned, shocked, and was stunned to see Tonty sitting there, covering himself in Tomato Ketchup.
"Tonty!" She cried, rushing up to him and trying to pull the bottle from him. But it was to no avail, and Tonty slapped her around the face with the back of his hand, jumped to his feet, and ran out of the kitchen, leaving his estranged wife nearly in tears.
Tonty was in tars of himself. Tears of laughter. He sprinted outside, grabbing an umbrella on the way. "I'M THE SCUM OF THE EARTH!!" He cried, putting up the Umbrella which had Special Reserve scrawled over it.
An old lady walked past him, so he took it from her and swang it over his head like cowboys do whenever they're trying to catch a bandit with some rope. "YEEEEEE-HA!"
He threw the handbag right back at her, and she caught it in front of her face. He then procceeded to kick her right in the jaw, knocking her down, the handbag her only source of protection.
_____________________________
Mr Snuggly had gathered many of the regular posters from FOG.
"Our worst fears have been confirmed. Tonty has gone mad." He confirmed.
"Mad?" Grix asked.
"Mad. Bonkers. Berserk. Looney-Tunes."
"Cartoons?"
"No. But Tonty has gone mad. When Tonty started this company we always knew this day would come. He was always a bit of a weirdo, ever since he started playing Barbie Riding Club in his spare time. He seemed to get worse everyday, and all of a sudden he went back to normal again. However, we were not decieved."
Loki, who was standing behind Snuggly said, "It was just the calm before the storm."
"Storm?"
"Yes."
"Thunder?"
"No. But we knew that one day Tonty would just wake up, and go mad. And you are the only guys who can stop him."
"Us?" Aliboy asked.
"Yes. You. You will be the savious of the fabled Special Reserve."
"Games?"
"Yes."
"Beer?"
"No. But yes, you will save many, many games."
"Well, I'm up for it," Meka said. Everyone else murmered agreement.
"Especially if we're saving the beer!" Sheepy said excitedly.
"No Sheepy, we're not saving any beer. But we can all go for a drink afterwards. But not Ant."
"Can I have chocolate milkshake? Because obviously I'm too young to drink."
"No Ant. If you can't drink alcohol, you will drink nothing at all."
______________________
Tonty had just rampaged through *certified games store* and with the price checker he'd stolen from *certified supermarket* tried to check the barcodes on every single N64 game he could find. Not many, then.
After failing to find a barcode on an young lad, he stomped out of *certified games store* and made his way over to *certified fast-food restaurant* He barged through to the counter and asked in a very high voice,
"I'll have 2 portions of Spam, one Notable and a glass of Sheepy."
"erm..."
Tonty had already had enough, and he grabbed as many straws as possible and threw them at teenager who was supposed to be serving him.
"DAMN NEWBIES!! GO AND WITCH EROTIC WATCH PROJECT, NOW!!!"
He stormed out of *certified fast-food restaurant* and made his way to the Special Reserve offices.
_________________________
"How are we supposed to save him?" Stryke asked.
"All you have to do is go talk to him. All he needs to calm down and go back to normal is talk to some posters on the Special Reserve forums. Perhaps say some catchphrases, other forum-related stuff." Snuggly told them.
"Any reason why this would cure him?" Your Honour asked.
"Crap plot mainly."
__________________________
Tonty headed inside, and was about to shout "maccaroni cheese reeks of sound blasters" when he saw Mr Snuggly and Loki talking to a bunch of people he didn't know.
"Who are they!?" He said, pointing. "Are they the batch of new N64 games!?"
"No Tonty," Snuggly said in a calm, soothing tone, "No one buys N64 games any more, you know that."
Tony looked around, and finally said in a rather timid voice, "Yes...yes, of course I do."
Snuggly and Loki began pushing all the posters towards him. "Go on, go talk to him!" Loki whispered, alarmed at Tonty's sudden quietness.
"Erm...hi Tonty. I'm Grix."
"D***s?"
"No, Grix. Grix Thraves."
Tonty's face suddenly changed...it went from a sort of alarmed, annoyed look, to a quizzical, puzzled look. "Grix?? I know...you. Grix..."
"And I'm er-no. Do you remember me?"
"Y-y-yes...sort of."
"Catchphrases..." Snuggly said out of the corner of his mouth.
"I smash fase wiv stik!" Goatboy shouted.
Tonty whirled around to face him. "Stik?"
"ONCE YOU POP, YOU CAN'T STOP!!" CLASSIQUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ant cried.
Tonty turned to face Ant now, "Sugar??" He said. He was much calmer now, and he appeared to be remembering.
"Damn Dirty Monkeys!" Meka screamed at the top of his voice.
Tonty grinned, "Notables!!"
"YAY!!" The whole group cheered.
Tonty turned and pointed at Aliboy, and then Strkye, and then GasMask.
"Idiots!!"
"YA..." the group stopped cheering, but Tonty hadn't finished. "No...no, regulars!!"
"YAY!!" Tonty looked down at his tomato sauce covered shirt and tie.
"What the hell has been going on here!?" He shouted, seemingly back to normal. "And why am I holding a *certified supermarket* price-checker?!"
"Oh...well, erm...you see, you went to *certified supermarket* to buy us all some snacks, because you're such a kind man, and some twonk there squirted you with tomato sauce. *certified supermarket* were horrified at the incident, and very sorry. So they gave you a price checker as compensation. Don't you remember?" Loki said uncertainly.
"No...no, I don't. Ah well, maybe I took a bang to the head or something. Anyway, has that batch of new N64 games come in yet?"
"erm..."
"Only joking!" Tonty said with a laugh, "We all know that no one wants N64 games anymore! I know, lets go and play on a PlayStation 2!"
The idea was greeted by cheers, and Tonty did not go mad for another few months or so. But that me friends, is another story.
Thanks for reading, Ant.
His wife placed a plate full of bacon, eggs, tomatoes and other tasty, fatty delights in front of him. He made to pick up his knife and fork, and grabbed at nothing but air. He was outraged at this, and was about to scream at his wife when she disproved her supposed insolence, and handed him his cutlery. Tonty remembered an important ingredient, and leant across to grab the Tomato Ketchup. He flipped the lid, turned it towards it himself, and squeezed.
"BWAH HA HA HA HA!!!!"
Tonty suddenly shrieked with laughter. His wife turned, shocked, and was stunned to see Tonty sitting there, covering himself in Tomato Ketchup.
"Tonty!" She cried, rushing up to him and trying to pull the bottle from him. But it was to no avail, and Tonty slapped her around the face with the back of his hand, jumped to his feet, and ran out of the kitchen, leaving his estranged wife nearly in tears.
Tonty was in tars of himself. Tears of laughter. He sprinted outside, grabbing an umbrella on the way. "I'M THE SCUM OF THE EARTH!!" He cried, putting up the Umbrella which had Special Reserve scrawled over it.
An old lady walked past him, so he took it from her and swang it over his head like cowboys do whenever they're trying to catch a bandit with some rope. "YEEEEEE-HA!"
He threw the handbag right back at her, and she caught it in front of her face. He then procceeded to kick her right in the jaw, knocking her down, the handbag her only source of protection.
_____________________________
Mr Snuggly had gathered many of the regular posters from FOG.
"Our worst fears have been confirmed. Tonty has gone mad." He confirmed.
"Mad?" Grix asked.
"Mad. Bonkers. Berserk. Looney-Tunes."
"Cartoons?"
"No. But Tonty has gone mad. When Tonty started this company we always knew this day would come. He was always a bit of a weirdo, ever since he started playing Barbie Riding Club in his spare time. He seemed to get worse everyday, and all of a sudden he went back to normal again. However, we were not decieved."
Loki, who was standing behind Snuggly said, "It was just the calm before the storm."
"Storm?"
"Yes."
"Thunder?"
"No. But we knew that one day Tonty would just wake up, and go mad. And you are the only guys who can stop him."
"Us?" Aliboy asked.
"Yes. You. You will be the savious of the fabled Special Reserve."
"Games?"
"Yes."
"Beer?"
"No. But yes, you will save many, many games."
"Well, I'm up for it," Meka said. Everyone else murmered agreement.
"Especially if we're saving the beer!" Sheepy said excitedly.
"No Sheepy, we're not saving any beer. But we can all go for a drink afterwards. But not Ant."
"Can I have chocolate milkshake? Because obviously I'm too young to drink."
"No Ant. If you can't drink alcohol, you will drink nothing at all."
______________________
Tonty had just rampaged through *certified games store* and with the price checker he'd stolen from *certified supermarket* tried to check the barcodes on every single N64 game he could find. Not many, then.
After failing to find a barcode on an young lad, he stomped out of *certified games store* and made his way over to *certified fast-food restaurant* He barged through to the counter and asked in a very high voice,
"I'll have 2 portions of Spam, one Notable and a glass of Sheepy."
"erm..."
Tonty had already had enough, and he grabbed as many straws as possible and threw them at teenager who was supposed to be serving him.
"DAMN NEWBIES!! GO AND WITCH EROTIC WATCH PROJECT, NOW!!!"
He stormed out of *certified fast-food restaurant* and made his way to the Special Reserve offices.
_________________________
"How are we supposed to save him?" Stryke asked.
"All you have to do is go talk to him. All he needs to calm down and go back to normal is talk to some posters on the Special Reserve forums. Perhaps say some catchphrases, other forum-related stuff." Snuggly told them.
"Any reason why this would cure him?" Your Honour asked.
"Crap plot mainly."
__________________________
Tonty headed inside, and was about to shout "maccaroni cheese reeks of sound blasters" when he saw Mr Snuggly and Loki talking to a bunch of people he didn't know.
"Who are they!?" He said, pointing. "Are they the batch of new N64 games!?"
"No Tonty," Snuggly said in a calm, soothing tone, "No one buys N64 games any more, you know that."
Tony looked around, and finally said in a rather timid voice, "Yes...yes, of course I do."
Snuggly and Loki began pushing all the posters towards him. "Go on, go talk to him!" Loki whispered, alarmed at Tonty's sudden quietness.
"Erm...hi Tonty. I'm Grix."
"D***s?"
"No, Grix. Grix Thraves."
Tonty's face suddenly changed...it went from a sort of alarmed, annoyed look, to a quizzical, puzzled look. "Grix?? I know...you. Grix..."
"And I'm er-no. Do you remember me?"
"Y-y-yes...sort of."
"Catchphrases..." Snuggly said out of the corner of his mouth.
"I smash fase wiv stik!" Goatboy shouted.
Tonty whirled around to face him. "Stik?"
"ONCE YOU POP, YOU CAN'T STOP!!" CLASSIQUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ant cried.
Tonty turned to face Ant now, "Sugar??" He said. He was much calmer now, and he appeared to be remembering.
"Damn Dirty Monkeys!" Meka screamed at the top of his voice.
Tonty grinned, "Notables!!"
"YAY!!" The whole group cheered.
Tonty turned and pointed at Aliboy, and then Strkye, and then GasMask.
"Idiots!!"
"YA..." the group stopped cheering, but Tonty hadn't finished. "No...no, regulars!!"
"YAY!!" Tonty looked down at his tomato sauce covered shirt and tie.
"What the hell has been going on here!?" He shouted, seemingly back to normal. "And why am I holding a *certified supermarket* price-checker?!"
"Oh...well, erm...you see, you went to *certified supermarket* to buy us all some snacks, because you're such a kind man, and some twonk there squirted you with tomato sauce. *certified supermarket* were horrified at the incident, and very sorry. So they gave you a price checker as compensation. Don't you remember?" Loki said uncertainly.
"No...no, I don't. Ah well, maybe I took a bang to the head or something. Anyway, has that batch of new N64 games come in yet?"
"erm..."
"Only joking!" Tonty said with a laugh, "We all know that no one wants N64 games anymore! I know, lets go and play on a PlayStation 2!"
The idea was greeted by cheers, and Tonty did not go mad for another few months or so. But that me friends, is another story.
Thanks for reading, Ant.
Page:
Ant wrote:
Why don't you give them a
> go? {:)
HA! It would be so pathetic its just unbelievable. Stories. Me? HA!
Why don't you give them a
> go? {:)
HA! It would be so pathetic its just unbelievable. Stories. Me? HA!
GasMask wrote:
> Nice story Ant.
"Tonty slaps wife" - Taken from The Sun's front
> page.
Oh yea and thanks for the part ;o) Ant, if I could write stories then
> I would include you. Only for you to get beaten up be Mr.Burns you little weak
> monkey boy :oP
Why don't you give them a go? {:)
> Nice story Ant.
"Tonty slaps wife" - Taken from The Sun's front
> page.
Oh yea and thanks for the part ;o) Ant, if I could write stories then
> I would include you. Only for you to get beaten up be Mr.Burns you little weak
> monkey boy :oP
Why don't you give them a go? {:)
Nice story Ant.
"Tonty slaps wife" - Taken from The Sun's front page.
Oh yea and thanks for the part ;o) Ant, if I could write stories then I would include you. Only for you to get beaten up be Mr.Burns you little weak monkey boy :oP
Joking Joking.
Keep knocking 'em out.
(Sounds rude)
The stories you fools :o)
"Tonty slaps wife" - Taken from The Sun's front page.
Oh yea and thanks for the part ;o) Ant, if I could write stories then I would include you. Only for you to get beaten up be Mr.Burns you little weak monkey boy :oP
Joking Joking.
Keep knocking 'em out.
(Sounds rude)
The stories you fools :o)
POP!! {:)
very nice. very long.
pb wrote:
> Hahaha. I can't work out whether it's funny strange or funny haha. It must be
> both. Nice one Ant.
Yes, it was meant to be both. Thank-you. {:)
> Hahaha. I can't work out whether it's funny strange or funny haha. It must be
> both. Nice one Ant.
Yes, it was meant to be both. Thank-you. {:)
LoL, superb.
also how did this tonty stuff start???
ketchup
Why not greeeeeeeeeeen ketchup
he he
Why not greeeeeeeeeeen ketchup
he he
Page: