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"Gaming's feminine cycle..."

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Mon 24/03/03 at 21:37
Regular
Posts: 787
I hate the way monkey's backside's always catch your eye at the zoo. I dislike those deceiving packet of sweets that appear greatly dense on the outside, but really have about three on the inside. I don't like the way dogs sniff around my sensitive region, and I have to pull a polite front to the smelly owner. But if there's one thing I really don't like, it's when games turn on their feminine mode.

1) "You don't love me"

Why, oh why do games constantly demand so much attention from us? Fair enough, we come back from a tough day, bored every now and then, and feel like playing with them, but they expect us to do this every single time. Take yesterday for example. I came home, nackered, distressed and felt like having a lie in. I walked into my room and the one second I glanced at my PS2 section, I got the look: the weeping puppy dog look that says "Why won't you play with me?". I'm nackered that's why! Sometimes I can even hear it moaning because I'm apparently "ignoring" it, which I'm not. All I'm doing is having a break, and not actually being with it for once and it moans.

2) "Tell me you love me"

We then make up after our little disagreement and start interacting with each other again, and everything seems alright. Until it then feels the need to take control of the relationship once more and move it up a gear: "Do you love me?"... Errrm...errr...yeah? Of..course..I ...do.

3) "Show me you love me"

I wish I never said yes. This is the point where it goes even further to pressure me into buying a new game, and I know for a fine fact if I don't it'll pull the guilt trip on me and we'll be back to square one. So I go, get a new game and come back to an expected appraisal. But what do I get, moaning ceremony number 200.

4) "This isn't good enough!"

Nothing ever is to you! Why can't you just be satisfied with the things I get you? "Because that would be lying, and a good relationship needs trust and honesty" But the thing is, I don't thing she has anything good to say about any of my gifts at all. This leads to an eerie silence between us, where I sit in the same spot for about an hour and she does the same, givingme he odd hacky looks occassionally.

5) "I like this one"

So I return the game, and select another one, which I don't particularly think would be good for her. And what happens? She likes it. It's like we work on two different levels! Once I've got the game she likes, she immediately puts immense pressure on me to play it right this instant, once again feeding her selfish lusts in the relationship.

6) "Work me harder!"

I start to play, fiddling with bits and bobs (on the joypad) and I begin to like what I'm doing. Once things get really exciting, I'm very reluctant to getting off her in any hurry, because I'm enjoying myself so much. We're now practically glued to each other, when all of a sudden she yells "Harder! I want to work harder!" Obviously I'm not satisfying her with my 'gameplaying', so I work harder to achieve those little juicy challenges.

7) "Okay, that's enough"

Soon enough, after playing for so long, things start to get repetitive and all the thrills start to disappear, for her anyway, so she decides to take control once more and call it a day. However, I know I'll soon return for another go to encounter even greater moments, of play.

Then the period comes back again where you're really not in the mood to spend time with her and her 'games', and you just want some space to do other things, then she starts assuming that she's not being loved and given enough attention.

It just goes on and on, but you pretty much get used to it...
Tue 25/03/03 at 18:58
Regular
"Sure.Fine.Whatever."
Posts: 9,629
Ròckó wrote:
> Indeed they can.
>
> I'm gonna start calling you Lady Lindgren, so I remember you haven't
> got a carrot and two cherries.

Lol!
Tue 25/03/03 at 18:56
Regular
"Being Ignorant"
Posts: 2,574
Indeed they can.

I'm gonna start calling you Lady Lindgren, so I remember you haven't got a carrot and two cherries.
Tue 25/03/03 at 18:29
Regular
"Sure.Fine.Whatever."
Posts: 9,629
Ròckó wrote:
> You're a woman, I mean a female?
>
> I always thought you were a.. you know... a bloke/kid/boy.
> Geez, you do learn something new everyday!

I'm very definitely female! Names can be deceiving, can't they!
Tue 25/03/03 at 18:06
Regular
"Being Ignorant"
Posts: 2,574
You're a woman, I mean a female?

I always thought you were a.. you know... a bloke/kid/boy.
Geez, you do learn something new everyday!
Tue 25/03/03 at 18:04
Regular
"Sure.Fine.Whatever."
Posts: 9,629
Ròckó wrote:
> I'm surprised no female users hae gone on a rampage up to now.
>
> Phew!

I would have but I'm too lazt to bother. Maybe if i have more energy later I'll have a pop at you! :P

Actually, I just don't give a monkeys.
Tue 25/03/03 at 18:00
Regular
"Being Ignorant"
Posts: 2,574
I'm surprised no female users hae gone on a rampage up to now.

Phew!
Tue 25/03/03 at 08:21
Regular
"Going nowhere fast"
Posts: 6,574
This made me smile. The underlying message was so familiar.
Tue 25/03/03 at 01:01
Regular
"Being Ignorant"
Posts: 2,574
I wouldn't class it as being sexist, more of a relationship guide for gamers.

Ahem.
Mon 24/03/03 at 21:46
Regular
"Brrrrr."
Posts: 1,864
Nothin' like a good ol' sexist thread, eh?


Not bad, though!
Mon 24/03/03 at 21:37
Regular
"Being Ignorant"
Posts: 2,574
I hate the way monkey's backside's always catch your eye at the zoo. I dislike those deceiving packet of sweets that appear greatly dense on the outside, but really have about three on the inside. I don't like the way dogs sniff around my sensitive region, and I have to pull a polite front to the smelly owner. But if there's one thing I really don't like, it's when games turn on their feminine mode.

1) "You don't love me"

Why, oh why do games constantly demand so much attention from us? Fair enough, we come back from a tough day, bored every now and then, and feel like playing with them, but they expect us to do this every single time. Take yesterday for example. I came home, nackered, distressed and felt like having a lie in. I walked into my room and the one second I glanced at my PS2 section, I got the look: the weeping puppy dog look that says "Why won't you play with me?". I'm nackered that's why! Sometimes I can even hear it moaning because I'm apparently "ignoring" it, which I'm not. All I'm doing is having a break, and not actually being with it for once and it moans.

2) "Tell me you love me"

We then make up after our little disagreement and start interacting with each other again, and everything seems alright. Until it then feels the need to take control of the relationship once more and move it up a gear: "Do you love me?"... Errrm...errr...yeah? Of..course..I ...do.

3) "Show me you love me"

I wish I never said yes. This is the point where it goes even further to pressure me into buying a new game, and I know for a fine fact if I don't it'll pull the guilt trip on me and we'll be back to square one. So I go, get a new game and come back to an expected appraisal. But what do I get, moaning ceremony number 200.

4) "This isn't good enough!"

Nothing ever is to you! Why can't you just be satisfied with the things I get you? "Because that would be lying, and a good relationship needs trust and honesty" But the thing is, I don't thing she has anything good to say about any of my gifts at all. This leads to an eerie silence between us, where I sit in the same spot for about an hour and she does the same, givingme he odd hacky looks occassionally.

5) "I like this one"

So I return the game, and select another one, which I don't particularly think would be good for her. And what happens? She likes it. It's like we work on two different levels! Once I've got the game she likes, she immediately puts immense pressure on me to play it right this instant, once again feeding her selfish lusts in the relationship.

6) "Work me harder!"

I start to play, fiddling with bits and bobs (on the joypad) and I begin to like what I'm doing. Once things get really exciting, I'm very reluctant to getting off her in any hurry, because I'm enjoying myself so much. We're now practically glued to each other, when all of a sudden she yells "Harder! I want to work harder!" Obviously I'm not satisfying her with my 'gameplaying', so I work harder to achieve those little juicy challenges.

7) "Okay, that's enough"

Soon enough, after playing for so long, things start to get repetitive and all the thrills start to disappear, for her anyway, so she decides to take control once more and call it a day. However, I know I'll soon return for another go to encounter even greater moments, of play.

Then the period comes back again where you're really not in the mood to spend time with her and her 'games', and you just want some space to do other things, then she starts assuming that she's not being loved and given enough attention.

It just goes on and on, but you pretty much get used to it...

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