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Every year the same ol' kerfuffle over Mother' Day: 'hey, here mom, have a piece of soap shaped like a panda... and have this cheap card with a picture of a dandelion on it. Would you like a (badly made) cup of tea? Would you like me to spill it on the floor and leave you to clean it up?'
I think it's lame, mothers should get decent presents. I'm no mother... I'm single, and I'm male... but, if I was, I'd want presents a darn sight better than a bowl of pot-pouri. In fact, I'd want video-games.
Now the obligatory introduction's finished, I can get on with the no-nonsense mother-related game title puns. The games that should be programmed, by all you people with mothers, in time for Mother's Day this Sunday, are as follows...
SUPER MARIO DUSTSHINE
Revolutionary new ultra Super Mario Dustshine wipes fresher than any other non-bio surface cleaner. Containing extracts of micro weasel-plums and anti-helix nucleotides, Super Mario Dustshine actively works to repel dust from devulcanising household surfaces. Dust your way through 5 exciting rooms using this fantastic product in this great new game from Mz Shiggz.
THE GETAWAY 2
With a storyline set two years before the events of SCEE's classic Getaway, the Getaway 2 is another London-based driving type game. You play the wife of Mark Hammond, and mother to his son, 'The Boy'. You must successfully complete 'The Boy's school runs in pre-congestion charge London rush hour traffic. You might even have to stop for Monster Munch or KP Choc Dips... and 'The Boy's friend with the glasses and the runny nose does tend to get car-sick quite alot.
DEAD OR ALIVE EXTREME GARDENING
Is it dead, is it alive? I don't know, I don't have a sodding clue about horticulture. But, mothers do. Deadhead the daisies, prune the ivy, mow the pansies and paint the lawn... all that sort of thing. That would make a really, really great game.
DAVID BECKHAM SOCCER
It could be a properly lame football game, it wouldn't matter, because mothers don't play football or video games. But they could look at the cover and say things like 'doesn't he have a nice smile' and 'he'd look even better if he combed his hair nicely'. Oh hang on... that game actually does exist doesn't it?
SPLINTER YELL
Accompany some sproglets to an adventure playground on a Saturday afternoon. You must chase after the little tykes removing the thousands of splinters acquired from the giant rotting timber frames. If you don't remove them in time, the little monkies will start yelling, louder and louder... until you get arrested by some social services dude.
MRS TONI HAWK'S PRO SCALER 7
Pro Scaler 7 inserts ribo-calcidroids right at the source of your limescale problem. By annexing unco-operative chalk deposits and converting them to dew-drops of lemongrass and coriander, Pro Scaler is the most pro de scaler on de market. Descale hundreds of hidden items like kettles, taps, shower-heads and other exciting domestic appliances in this corker of a game from Tony Hawk's mum.
MEDAL OF HONOUR: STEAK PIE
A classic FPS (Fine Pie Simulation)... You must create the finest steak pie known to humanity. It must have light, flaky pastry with a melt-in-the-mouth buttery twang. It must have the must juicy, tender cuts of select sirloin steak: lightly chargrilled, than marinated in a rich traditional Olde English gravy. You must win The Medal Of Honour 2003 for the Steak Pie category in the 'Awards For Excellence in Pie 2003' held by the 'Regional Pie Council'. [Further recipes may be available for download}
So, there you have it. That's what to get your mothers for Mothers' Day. If they're not chuffed to bits with their gift, then they must be totally mental and not worth being related to.
I think it's lame, mothers should get decent presents. I'm no mother... I'm single, and I'm male... but, if I was, I'd want presents a darn sight better than a bowl of pot-pouri. In fact, I'd want video-games.
Now the obligatory introduction's finished, I can get on with the no-nonsense mother-related game title puns. The games that should be programmed, by all you people with mothers, in time for Mother's Day this Sunday, are as follows...
SUPER MARIO DUSTSHINE
Revolutionary new ultra Super Mario Dustshine wipes fresher than any other non-bio surface cleaner. Containing extracts of micro weasel-plums and anti-helix nucleotides, Super Mario Dustshine actively works to repel dust from devulcanising household surfaces. Dust your way through 5 exciting rooms using this fantastic product in this great new game from Mz Shiggz.
THE GETAWAY 2
With a storyline set two years before the events of SCEE's classic Getaway, the Getaway 2 is another London-based driving type game. You play the wife of Mark Hammond, and mother to his son, 'The Boy'. You must successfully complete 'The Boy's school runs in pre-congestion charge London rush hour traffic. You might even have to stop for Monster Munch or KP Choc Dips... and 'The Boy's friend with the glasses and the runny nose does tend to get car-sick quite alot.
DEAD OR ALIVE EXTREME GARDENING
Is it dead, is it alive? I don't know, I don't have a sodding clue about horticulture. But, mothers do. Deadhead the daisies, prune the ivy, mow the pansies and paint the lawn... all that sort of thing. That would make a really, really great game.
DAVID BECKHAM SOCCER
It could be a properly lame football game, it wouldn't matter, because mothers don't play football or video games. But they could look at the cover and say things like 'doesn't he have a nice smile' and 'he'd look even better if he combed his hair nicely'. Oh hang on... that game actually does exist doesn't it?
SPLINTER YELL
Accompany some sproglets to an adventure playground on a Saturday afternoon. You must chase after the little tykes removing the thousands of splinters acquired from the giant rotting timber frames. If you don't remove them in time, the little monkies will start yelling, louder and louder... until you get arrested by some social services dude.
MRS TONI HAWK'S PRO SCALER 7
Pro Scaler 7 inserts ribo-calcidroids right at the source of your limescale problem. By annexing unco-operative chalk deposits and converting them to dew-drops of lemongrass and coriander, Pro Scaler is the most pro de scaler on de market. Descale hundreds of hidden items like kettles, taps, shower-heads and other exciting domestic appliances in this corker of a game from Tony Hawk's mum.
MEDAL OF HONOUR: STEAK PIE
A classic FPS (Fine Pie Simulation)... You must create the finest steak pie known to humanity. It must have light, flaky pastry with a melt-in-the-mouth buttery twang. It must have the must juicy, tender cuts of select sirloin steak: lightly chargrilled, than marinated in a rich traditional Olde English gravy. You must win The Medal Of Honour 2003 for the Steak Pie category in the 'Awards For Excellence in Pie 2003' held by the 'Regional Pie Council'. [Further recipes may be available for download}
So, there you have it. That's what to get your mothers for Mothers' Day. If they're not chuffed to bits with their gift, then they must be totally mental and not worth being related to.
illzen wrote:
> DEAD OR ALIVE EXTREME GARDENING
> MRS TONI HAWK'S PRO SCALER 7
That was enough to make me chuckle :D
> DEAD OR ALIVE EXTREME GARDENING
> MRS TONI HAWK'S PRO SCALER 7
That was enough to make me chuckle :D
Heh, I think my mum would feel greatly annoyed at me if I were to give her any of the above...
It's almost like one of my friends giving his mum a special washing up cloth for Mother's Day...
It's almost like one of my friends giving his mum a special washing up cloth for Mother's Day...
thankyou kindly mr.rocko, glad you enjoyed it.
Heh, just the thought of mothers wanting videogames as a gift makes me chuckle.
Very good post illzen.
Very good post illzen.
Every year the same ol' kerfuffle over Mother' Day: 'hey, here mom, have a piece of soap shaped like a panda... and have this cheap card with a picture of a dandelion on it. Would you like a (badly made) cup of tea? Would you like me to spill it on the floor and leave you to clean it up?'
I think it's lame, mothers should get decent presents. I'm no mother... I'm single, and I'm male... but, if I was, I'd want presents a darn sight better than a bowl of pot-pouri. In fact, I'd want video-games.
Now the obligatory introduction's finished, I can get on with the no-nonsense mother-related game title puns. The games that should be programmed, by all you people with mothers, in time for Mother's Day this Sunday, are as follows...
SUPER MARIO DUSTSHINE
Revolutionary new ultra Super Mario Dustshine wipes fresher than any other non-bio surface cleaner. Containing extracts of micro weasel-plums and anti-helix nucleotides, Super Mario Dustshine actively works to repel dust from devulcanising household surfaces. Dust your way through 5 exciting rooms using this fantastic product in this great new game from Mz Shiggz.
THE GETAWAY 2
With a storyline set two years before the events of SCEE's classic Getaway, the Getaway 2 is another London-based driving type game. You play the wife of Mark Hammond, and mother to his son, 'The Boy'. You must successfully complete 'The Boy's school runs in pre-congestion charge London rush hour traffic. You might even have to stop for Monster Munch or KP Choc Dips... and 'The Boy's friend with the glasses and the runny nose does tend to get car-sick quite alot.
DEAD OR ALIVE EXTREME GARDENING
Is it dead, is it alive? I don't know, I don't have a sodding clue about horticulture. But, mothers do. Deadhead the daisies, prune the ivy, mow the pansies and paint the lawn... all that sort of thing. That would make a really, really great game.
DAVID BECKHAM SOCCER
It could be a properly lame football game, it wouldn't matter, because mothers don't play football or video games. But they could look at the cover and say things like 'doesn't he have a nice smile' and 'he'd look even better if he combed his hair nicely'. Oh hang on... that game actually does exist doesn't it?
SPLINTER YELL
Accompany some sproglets to an adventure playground on a Saturday afternoon. You must chase after the little tykes removing the thousands of splinters acquired from the giant rotting timber frames. If you don't remove them in time, the little monkies will start yelling, louder and louder... until you get arrested by some social services dude.
MRS TONI HAWK'S PRO SCALER 7
Pro Scaler 7 inserts ribo-calcidroids right at the source of your limescale problem. By annexing unco-operative chalk deposits and converting them to dew-drops of lemongrass and coriander, Pro Scaler is the most pro de scaler on de market. Descale hundreds of hidden items like kettles, taps, shower-heads and other exciting domestic appliances in this corker of a game from Tony Hawk's mum.
MEDAL OF HONOUR: STEAK PIE
A classic FPS (Fine Pie Simulation)... You must create the finest steak pie known to humanity. It must have light, flaky pastry with a melt-in-the-mouth buttery twang. It must have the must juicy, tender cuts of select sirloin steak: lightly chargrilled, than marinated in a rich traditional Olde English gravy. You must win The Medal Of Honour 2003 for the Steak Pie category in the 'Awards For Excellence in Pie 2003' held by the 'Regional Pie Council'. [Further recipes may be available for download}
So, there you have it. That's what to get your mothers for Mothers' Day. If they're not chuffed to bits with their gift, then they must be totally mental and not worth being related to.
I think it's lame, mothers should get decent presents. I'm no mother... I'm single, and I'm male... but, if I was, I'd want presents a darn sight better than a bowl of pot-pouri. In fact, I'd want video-games.
Now the obligatory introduction's finished, I can get on with the no-nonsense mother-related game title puns. The games that should be programmed, by all you people with mothers, in time for Mother's Day this Sunday, are as follows...
SUPER MARIO DUSTSHINE
Revolutionary new ultra Super Mario Dustshine wipes fresher than any other non-bio surface cleaner. Containing extracts of micro weasel-plums and anti-helix nucleotides, Super Mario Dustshine actively works to repel dust from devulcanising household surfaces. Dust your way through 5 exciting rooms using this fantastic product in this great new game from Mz Shiggz.
THE GETAWAY 2
With a storyline set two years before the events of SCEE's classic Getaway, the Getaway 2 is another London-based driving type game. You play the wife of Mark Hammond, and mother to his son, 'The Boy'. You must successfully complete 'The Boy's school runs in pre-congestion charge London rush hour traffic. You might even have to stop for Monster Munch or KP Choc Dips... and 'The Boy's friend with the glasses and the runny nose does tend to get car-sick quite alot.
DEAD OR ALIVE EXTREME GARDENING
Is it dead, is it alive? I don't know, I don't have a sodding clue about horticulture. But, mothers do. Deadhead the daisies, prune the ivy, mow the pansies and paint the lawn... all that sort of thing. That would make a really, really great game.
DAVID BECKHAM SOCCER
It could be a properly lame football game, it wouldn't matter, because mothers don't play football or video games. But they could look at the cover and say things like 'doesn't he have a nice smile' and 'he'd look even better if he combed his hair nicely'. Oh hang on... that game actually does exist doesn't it?
SPLINTER YELL
Accompany some sproglets to an adventure playground on a Saturday afternoon. You must chase after the little tykes removing the thousands of splinters acquired from the giant rotting timber frames. If you don't remove them in time, the little monkies will start yelling, louder and louder... until you get arrested by some social services dude.
MRS TONI HAWK'S PRO SCALER 7
Pro Scaler 7 inserts ribo-calcidroids right at the source of your limescale problem. By annexing unco-operative chalk deposits and converting them to dew-drops of lemongrass and coriander, Pro Scaler is the most pro de scaler on de market. Descale hundreds of hidden items like kettles, taps, shower-heads and other exciting domestic appliances in this corker of a game from Tony Hawk's mum.
MEDAL OF HONOUR: STEAK PIE
A classic FPS (Fine Pie Simulation)... You must create the finest steak pie known to humanity. It must have light, flaky pastry with a melt-in-the-mouth buttery twang. It must have the must juicy, tender cuts of select sirloin steak: lightly chargrilled, than marinated in a rich traditional Olde English gravy. You must win The Medal Of Honour 2003 for the Steak Pie category in the 'Awards For Excellence in Pie 2003' held by the 'Regional Pie Council'. [Further recipes may be available for download}
So, there you have it. That's what to get your mothers for Mothers' Day. If they're not chuffed to bits with their gift, then they must be totally mental and not worth being related to.