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here is the results to the competition to become a Nintendo Elite, so you are garanteed a place in my next story. The resluts of the pontest to become a Nintendo Elite for the purpose of my next story has been divided up into easily seen sections, because it is pretty long. So here it is. Enjoy, and good luck if you entered...
-----INTRODUCTION-----
It was a quiet day in the Nintendo Forum. Too quiet. One by one, members clicked on Sibs’ new topic ‘Become a Nintendo Elite!’ and his full dastardly scheme came to light.
First came Kingklik, ironically his click on Sibs’ topic was his last. A swirl of green energy appeared in front of Kingkliks screen, and he was sucked in. Every person who tried to look at Sibs’ topic was sucked in, except for those chosen few, the Nintendo Elites. They were safe from the harmful effects of the new and evil topic.
The last was Mr. Gamecube. The fifteen appeared in a strangely familiar scene. Indeed, they seemed to remember the area, but didn’t know where they were. A booming voice came from no where. “You have all shown interest in becoming one of the chosen few, blessed by myself, and our God, Master Shigeru. Now you must pass a test. You will fight for the honour of Nintendo Elite! The winner will be the last survivor!” It suddenly dawned on Dr. Duck where they were (hey, they don’t give out PHDs for nothing). It was the Facility!
-----FIRST BLOOD-----
At that moment, gunfire broke out. Cyclone had found the weapon of his name, and had switched it to magazine discharge. He was unloading clips in the direction of Mr. Gamecube. Mr. Gamecube made a dash for the stairs and ran into the toilets, where he locked the door to a cubicle. Cyclone let him go, and scanned the area for other potential targets.
At that moment Starlight rounded the corner and blinded Cyclone with a glare of light. Starlight ran up and grabbed Cyclones gun from him, and just as his vision cleared, he made out the form of Starlight, aiming the cyclone gun right at him. The clip unloaded in his face. The first blood was spilled.
Meanwhile, MJswerve and Twain had found a secluded area of the facility, just at the end of the bottling room corridor, where the next door was locked shut, and there was only one way in. They were busy arguing over who knew most about Nintendo, and who would kill the other first if this was a game of Perfect Dark, and not reality. They were also busy complaining about how the layout of this facility was the same as the Perfect Dark one, but the texturing was all wrong. A fine job Sibs made of this facility. Suddenly the door began slowly opening… uksgamer2002 rushed in and shot off Falcon 2 rounds with his deadly nostril. Twain grabbed MJswerve and used held him in the crossfire. He took a bullet to both legs.
“NO! I can’t die! I know too much about Nintendo!” yelled MJswerve.
-----TURNING TO THE DARK SIDE-----
Twain remarked “That’s gotta hurt!” as MJ fell to the floor, bleeding. “I’m usually a pacifist, but…” he remarked, as uksgamer2002 incredibly managed to reload using only his nostril. Twain lashed out with his fist, and heard a satisfying crunch as he hit hard into uksgamer2002s nose.
“Oh NO! My only defence!” uksgamer2002 fumbled with the gun in his hand, unaccustomed to this strange tradition of pulling the trigger with a finger. Twain grabbed uksgamer2002s head and repeatedly banged it against the metal door. It then began closing, and Twain held uksgamer2002 in place until he heard the bones crack, as his head was torn off.
MJ, still hanging on to life muttered, “what a bloody mess”
Twain ran into the bottling room, but they were far past their prime. Sitting atop one of the collapsed bottles was Kingklik, with his Data Uplink.
In the room opposite the stairs Homers Odyssey lurked in hiding. Ace_greg dived into the room avoiding gunfire from a sentry Laptop Gun.
“Wait!” he yelled, “I come with a peace offering!” Ace_greg handed over an unnaturally large doughnut.
“Mmmm… Doughnuts” mumbled Homers Odyssey. At that moment GasMask burst in to the room.
“Now I have you!” he gloated. Homers Odyssey ate the huge doughnut, and Ace_greg began to laugh at him, knowing that the radioactive isotope in it would kill any human. But Homers Odyssey was fine. He let out a huge burp of green gas. Ace_greg fell to the floor, but GasMask was fine, and he put a bullet right between Homers Odysseys eyes.
Mr. Gamecube still cowardly hid in a toilet cubicle. He heard strange noises above him. Of course! The ventilation shaft. He tried to clamber up, but was met by a shot in his left hand. DeltaJava was camping up there, and now he knew Mr. Gamecube was nearby. DeltaJave slowly crept through the ventilation shaft to the opening above Mr. Gamecube was cowering. He could see the head between the ventilation grate. He took aim, poking his gun through the metal mesh, when he heard a strange noise. He collapsed on the grate and fell through, narrowly missing Indian-DudeY2K. It had really been him in the cubicle, and he had used his deadly bum fart!
“Don’t hurt me!” Mr. Gamecube pleaded.
Indian-DudeY2K left him cowering, in the toilets now even smellier atmoshpere. On the way out he saw a bright light, and his vision failed him.
-----THE LIGHT FANTASTIC-----
Mr. Gamecube saw the light approaching. What was it? Starlight opened the door to Mr. Gamecubes cubicle and unsheathed the serrated edge combat knife. In the corridor below auf deutscch took aim with a Farsight. Starlights bright form showed up unmistakably on the sight. auf deutscch took aim and fired. The bullet bored a neat hole through the floor, and went straight through Starlights brain. auf deutscch sang a quick verse of ‘Daddy cool’ to celebrate, but he was unaware of someone lurking in the nearby shadows.
AfroJoe pulled out a throwing knife and a small bottle labeled with skull and crossbones. He dipped the blade into the bottle, and pulled it out covered in black liquid. In one fluid movement he flipped round the corner under the stairs, threw the knife, hitting auf deutscch in the arm, and took cover on the corner the other side. auf deutscch felt the poison flow through him. His veins turned black with poison, and as it crept up to his brain he let out an agonizing scream. Thick black blood poured out as AfroJoe pulled the bloodied blade out.
AfroJoes keen senses picked up a smell behind him… Indian-DudeY2K. He spun around, but Indian-DudeY2K was on him.
“Move and I’ll smell you to kingdom come!” Indian-Dude said with a grin.
“Freeze!” came a yell from behind. It was GasMask, Indian-Dudes arch nemesis. He was holding a Laptop Gun.
“You’re coming with me!” ordered GasMask to Indian-Dude. GasMask and AfroJoe exchanged suspicious glances.
-----FOREVER DEDICATED TO NINTENDO-----
GasMask took Indian-Dude to the small room opposite the toilet stairs.
“Fart and I’ll kill you!” stated GasMask. Indian-Dude tried his best not to fart. He held them in countless times, and seconds seemed to go by in minutes. A bead of sweat trickled down Indian-Dudes face. His rear began to grow. And grow. It suddenly exploded, along with the rest of Indian-Dude. The green gas filled the small room. GasMask tried to open the door to escape, but it was too late. Even his advanced air filtering technique could not combat this. GasMask spluttered and fell to the floor, his lungs mutilated by this volatile gas.
MJswerve had managed to slowly crawl to where Twain and Kingklik were. The door opened, and the two could be seen uploading Sibs’ GAD winning Perfect Dark review to the NintyUK website. MJ took aim with the Magnum, and fired off a round. The monitor of the computer screen cracked.
“I have to finish this upload!” wailed Kingklik “Must update the NintyUK site!” Twain valiantly took MJs fire, allowing Kingklik to complete the upload, but Twain was mortally wounded, and began slowly bleeding to death.
“I own you Twian!” MJ yelled like some deadly war cry.
“Upload complete” came the distinctly female voice from Kingkliks Data Uplink. Just as the voice echoed around the room everything seemed to go into slow motion. Dr. Duck had administered a Combat Boost.
MJ took aim at Kingkliks head and pulled the trigger, as Kingklik slowly sailed off the top of the bottle, and through the glass, into the corridor. Kingklik broke a leg on impact, and fell to the floor. The slow motion wore off, and Kingklik writhed in pain.
“I’ll help you” came the friendly voice of Dr. Duck. Just give you a quick sedative here. Unfortunately, he hadn’t quite worked out how to work the sedative guns, and administered the maximum dose, killing Kingklik instantly.
“errr…” Dr. Duck stuttered, “oops?”
-----DAMN DIRTY DOCTERS-----
At that moment AfroJoe burst into the long corridor.
“Hold your fire! I’m a medic!” Dr. Duck yelled.
“Okay” AfroJoe replied grudgingly. MJ took aim at Dr. Duck and demanded medical aid.
“I don’t have any first aid stuff on me though!” exclaimed the doc.
“here, take this” AfroJoe said rummaging around in his vast hair, and producing a first aid kit, a drip, an operating table, and two trained heart surgeons. Unfortunately, years of being stuck in AfroJoes hair does nothing for your mental state, and by now the surgeons were raving mad, talking about the delights of the MubeGube, and the heroic acts of BarryO and the everlasting evil of Trouser.
“You aRe A DisCipLE of tHe EVIL TrouSer!!!” one surgeon said to MJ brandishing a surgical knife. He dived at MJ stabbing him in the heart. AfroJoe opened fire on the two mad surgeons, and Dr. Duck ran for his life. AfroJoes old AR33 came in very handy, and the bullets ripped through the mad surgeons. It was too late for MJswerve though.
“Looks like it’s just you and me.” AfroJoe stated.
Meanwhile Mr. Gamecube left the safety of the cubicle. And lying on the ground was an RCP-120.
AfroJoe and Dr. Duck were uneasily sizing each other up. A figure flashed in their midst and then vanished. The two exchanged piercing glares. Then Mr. Gamecube appeared. Aiming the RCP-120 at AfroJoe he exclaimed, “Dance!” trying to sound like a gangster but failing miserably. A Greenday song blared from nowhere and AfroJoe said flatly, “I can’t dance to this!” Then some 70’s disco blared on and the deadly dance began.
Mr. Gamecube fired off bullet after bullet, but AfroJoe danced with such skill and precision that every one missed him. As the clip ran out of ammo, the songs ended, and AfroJoe was left singing “Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Staying Alive… Ooh yeah! Boogie on down!” As he realized the music was gone he looked around and grinned sheepishly. Dr. Duck saw his chance and pounced. He rammed into the back of Mr. Gamecube and knocked the RCP-120 out of his hands. AfroJoe pulled out a rocket launcher and fired it at the fighting pair. Dr. Duck burnt to a crisp and was sold at a cheap Chinese take-away. But Mr. Gamecubes shield flashed and he survived. AfroJoe realized what had happened, and threw down the rocket launcher. Mr. Gamecube produced a small pistol, and fired it. The head shot was deadly. AfroJoes eyes flashed red for a second.
-----SHOWDOWN-----
“YOU HIT MY HAIR!” he shouted, “NEVER MESS WITH MY HAIR, YOU…” AfroJoes exact words could not be printed due to legal reasons. He charged Mr. Gamecube, but in his rage did not produce a weapon. Mr. Gamecube sidestepped the charge and aimed the pistol right at AfroJoe. He smiled.
“Looks like I win! Yahoo!” Mr. Gamecube exclaimed.
MWA HA HA HA! Laughter boomed throughout the Facility. Mr. Gamecube heard a clinking behind him. He spun around to see a grenade. BOOM!
“That’s what you get for creating pointless Worlds Longest Threads when we already have about 10!” Sibs’ voice boomed round.
“Does that mean I’m an elite?” AfroJoe questioned excitedly.
“Not quite…” Sibs continued, “Who owns you?”
“err… You do?”
AfroJoe was slapped by some unseen force.
“Who owns you?” Sibs repeated.
“umm, Nintendo?”
SLAP.
(about an hour later)
“WHO OWNS YOU?”
“Master Shigeru owns me.”
“Okay, you’re in.” said Sibs.
The End (for now…)
-----INTRODUCTION-----
It was a quiet day in the Nintendo Forum. Too quiet. One by one, members clicked on Sibs’ new topic ‘Become a Nintendo Elite!’ and his full dastardly scheme came to light.
First came Kingklik, ironically his click on Sibs’ topic was his last. A swirl of green energy appeared in front of Kingkliks screen, and he was sucked in. Every person who tried to look at Sibs’ topic was sucked in, except for those chosen few, the Nintendo Elites. They were safe from the harmful effects of the new and evil topic.
The last was Mr. Gamecube. The fifteen appeared in a strangely familiar scene. Indeed, they seemed to remember the area, but didn’t know where they were. A booming voice came from no where. “You have all shown interest in becoming one of the chosen few, blessed by myself, and our God, Master Shigeru. Now you must pass a test. You will fight for the honour of Nintendo Elite! The winner will be the last survivor!” It suddenly dawned on Dr. Duck where they were (hey, they don’t give out PHDs for nothing). It was the Facility!
-----FIRST BLOOD-----
At that moment, gunfire broke out. Cyclone had found the weapon of his name, and had switched it to magazine discharge. He was unloading clips in the direction of Mr. Gamecube. Mr. Gamecube made a dash for the stairs and ran into the toilets, where he locked the door to a cubicle. Cyclone let him go, and scanned the area for other potential targets.
At that moment Starlight rounded the corner and blinded Cyclone with a glare of light. Starlight ran up and grabbed Cyclones gun from him, and just as his vision cleared, he made out the form of Starlight, aiming the cyclone gun right at him. The clip unloaded in his face. The first blood was spilled.
Meanwhile, MJswerve and Twain had found a secluded area of the facility, just at the end of the bottling room corridor, where the next door was locked shut, and there was only one way in. They were busy arguing over who knew most about Nintendo, and who would kill the other first if this was a game of Perfect Dark, and not reality. They were also busy complaining about how the layout of this facility was the same as the Perfect Dark one, but the texturing was all wrong. A fine job Sibs made of this facility. Suddenly the door began slowly opening… uksgamer2002 rushed in and shot off Falcon 2 rounds with his deadly nostril. Twain grabbed MJswerve and used held him in the crossfire. He took a bullet to both legs.
“NO! I can’t die! I know too much about Nintendo!” yelled MJswerve.
-----TURNING TO THE DARK SIDE-----
Twain remarked “That’s gotta hurt!” as MJ fell to the floor, bleeding. “I’m usually a pacifist, but…” he remarked, as uksgamer2002 incredibly managed to reload using only his nostril. Twain lashed out with his fist, and heard a satisfying crunch as he hit hard into uksgamer2002s nose.
“Oh NO! My only defence!” uksgamer2002 fumbled with the gun in his hand, unaccustomed to this strange tradition of pulling the trigger with a finger. Twain grabbed uksgamer2002s head and repeatedly banged it against the metal door. It then began closing, and Twain held uksgamer2002 in place until he heard the bones crack, as his head was torn off.
MJ, still hanging on to life muttered, “what a bloody mess”
Twain ran into the bottling room, but they were far past their prime. Sitting atop one of the collapsed bottles was Kingklik, with his Data Uplink.
In the room opposite the stairs Homers Odyssey lurked in hiding. Ace_greg dived into the room avoiding gunfire from a sentry Laptop Gun.
“Wait!” he yelled, “I come with a peace offering!” Ace_greg handed over an unnaturally large doughnut.
“Mmmm… Doughnuts” mumbled Homers Odyssey. At that moment GasMask burst in to the room.
“Now I have you!” he gloated. Homers Odyssey ate the huge doughnut, and Ace_greg began to laugh at him, knowing that the radioactive isotope in it would kill any human. But Homers Odyssey was fine. He let out a huge burp of green gas. Ace_greg fell to the floor, but GasMask was fine, and he put a bullet right between Homers Odysseys eyes.
Mr. Gamecube still cowardly hid in a toilet cubicle. He heard strange noises above him. Of course! The ventilation shaft. He tried to clamber up, but was met by a shot in his left hand. DeltaJava was camping up there, and now he knew Mr. Gamecube was nearby. DeltaJave slowly crept through the ventilation shaft to the opening above Mr. Gamecube was cowering. He could see the head between the ventilation grate. He took aim, poking his gun through the metal mesh, when he heard a strange noise. He collapsed on the grate and fell through, narrowly missing Indian-DudeY2K. It had really been him in the cubicle, and he had used his deadly bum fart!
“Don’t hurt me!” Mr. Gamecube pleaded.
Indian-DudeY2K left him cowering, in the toilets now even smellier atmoshpere. On the way out he saw a bright light, and his vision failed him.
-----THE LIGHT FANTASTIC-----
Mr. Gamecube saw the light approaching. What was it? Starlight opened the door to Mr. Gamecubes cubicle and unsheathed the serrated edge combat knife. In the corridor below auf deutscch took aim with a Farsight. Starlights bright form showed up unmistakably on the sight. auf deutscch took aim and fired. The bullet bored a neat hole through the floor, and went straight through Starlights brain. auf deutscch sang a quick verse of ‘Daddy cool’ to celebrate, but he was unaware of someone lurking in the nearby shadows.
AfroJoe pulled out a throwing knife and a small bottle labeled with skull and crossbones. He dipped the blade into the bottle, and pulled it out covered in black liquid. In one fluid movement he flipped round the corner under the stairs, threw the knife, hitting auf deutscch in the arm, and took cover on the corner the other side. auf deutscch felt the poison flow through him. His veins turned black with poison, and as it crept up to his brain he let out an agonizing scream. Thick black blood poured out as AfroJoe pulled the bloodied blade out.
AfroJoes keen senses picked up a smell behind him… Indian-DudeY2K. He spun around, but Indian-DudeY2K was on him.
“Move and I’ll smell you to kingdom come!” Indian-Dude said with a grin.
“Freeze!” came a yell from behind. It was GasMask, Indian-Dudes arch nemesis. He was holding a Laptop Gun.
“You’re coming with me!” ordered GasMask to Indian-Dude. GasMask and AfroJoe exchanged suspicious glances.
-----FOREVER DEDICATED TO NINTENDO-----
GasMask took Indian-Dude to the small room opposite the toilet stairs.
“Fart and I’ll kill you!” stated GasMask. Indian-Dude tried his best not to fart. He held them in countless times, and seconds seemed to go by in minutes. A bead of sweat trickled down Indian-Dudes face. His rear began to grow. And grow. It suddenly exploded, along with the rest of Indian-Dude. The green gas filled the small room. GasMask tried to open the door to escape, but it was too late. Even his advanced air filtering technique could not combat this. GasMask spluttered and fell to the floor, his lungs mutilated by this volatile gas.
MJswerve had managed to slowly crawl to where Twain and Kingklik were. The door opened, and the two could be seen uploading Sibs’ GAD winning Perfect Dark review to the NintyUK website. MJ took aim with the Magnum, and fired off a round. The monitor of the computer screen cracked.
“I have to finish this upload!” wailed Kingklik “Must update the NintyUK site!” Twain valiantly took MJs fire, allowing Kingklik to complete the upload, but Twain was mortally wounded, and began slowly bleeding to death.
“I own you Twian!” MJ yelled like some deadly war cry.
“Upload complete” came the distinctly female voice from Kingkliks Data Uplink. Just as the voice echoed around the room everything seemed to go into slow motion. Dr. Duck had administered a Combat Boost.
MJ took aim at Kingkliks head and pulled the trigger, as Kingklik slowly sailed off the top of the bottle, and through the glass, into the corridor. Kingklik broke a leg on impact, and fell to the floor. The slow motion wore off, and Kingklik writhed in pain.
“I’ll help you” came the friendly voice of Dr. Duck. Just give you a quick sedative here. Unfortunately, he hadn’t quite worked out how to work the sedative guns, and administered the maximum dose, killing Kingklik instantly.
“errr…” Dr. Duck stuttered, “oops?”
-----DAMN DIRTY DOCTERS-----
At that moment AfroJoe burst into the long corridor.
“Hold your fire! I’m a medic!” Dr. Duck yelled.
“Okay” AfroJoe replied grudgingly. MJ took aim at Dr. Duck and demanded medical aid.
“I don’t have any first aid stuff on me though!” exclaimed the doc.
“here, take this” AfroJoe said rummaging around in his vast hair, and producing a first aid kit, a drip, an operating table, and two trained heart surgeons. Unfortunately, years of being stuck in AfroJoes hair does nothing for your mental state, and by now the surgeons were raving mad, talking about the delights of the MubeGube, and the heroic acts of BarryO and the everlasting evil of Trouser.
“You aRe A DisCipLE of tHe EVIL TrouSer!!!” one surgeon said to MJ brandishing a surgical knife. He dived at MJ stabbing him in the heart. AfroJoe opened fire on the two mad surgeons, and Dr. Duck ran for his life. AfroJoes old AR33 came in very handy, and the bullets ripped through the mad surgeons. It was too late for MJswerve though.
“Looks like it’s just you and me.” AfroJoe stated.
Meanwhile Mr. Gamecube left the safety of the cubicle. And lying on the ground was an RCP-120.
AfroJoe and Dr. Duck were uneasily sizing each other up. A figure flashed in their midst and then vanished. The two exchanged piercing glares. Then Mr. Gamecube appeared. Aiming the RCP-120 at AfroJoe he exclaimed, “Dance!” trying to sound like a gangster but failing miserably. A Greenday song blared from nowhere and AfroJoe said flatly, “I can’t dance to this!” Then some 70’s disco blared on and the deadly dance began.
Mr. Gamecube fired off bullet after bullet, but AfroJoe danced with such skill and precision that every one missed him. As the clip ran out of ammo, the songs ended, and AfroJoe was left singing “Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Staying Alive… Ooh yeah! Boogie on down!” As he realized the music was gone he looked around and grinned sheepishly. Dr. Duck saw his chance and pounced. He rammed into the back of Mr. Gamecube and knocked the RCP-120 out of his hands. AfroJoe pulled out a rocket launcher and fired it at the fighting pair. Dr. Duck burnt to a crisp and was sold at a cheap Chinese take-away. But Mr. Gamecubes shield flashed and he survived. AfroJoe realized what had happened, and threw down the rocket launcher. Mr. Gamecube produced a small pistol, and fired it. The head shot was deadly. AfroJoes eyes flashed red for a second.
-----SHOWDOWN-----
“YOU HIT MY HAIR!” he shouted, “NEVER MESS WITH MY HAIR, YOU…” AfroJoes exact words could not be printed due to legal reasons. He charged Mr. Gamecube, but in his rage did not produce a weapon. Mr. Gamecube sidestepped the charge and aimed the pistol right at AfroJoe. He smiled.
“Looks like I win! Yahoo!” Mr. Gamecube exclaimed.
MWA HA HA HA! Laughter boomed throughout the Facility. Mr. Gamecube heard a clinking behind him. He spun around to see a grenade. BOOM!
“That’s what you get for creating pointless Worlds Longest Threads when we already have about 10!” Sibs’ voice boomed round.
“Does that mean I’m an elite?” AfroJoe questioned excitedly.
“Not quite…” Sibs continued, “Who owns you?”
“err… You do?”
AfroJoe was slapped by some unseen force.
“Who owns you?” Sibs repeated.
“umm, Nintendo?”
SLAP.
(about an hour later)
“WHO OWNS YOU?”
“Master Shigeru owns me.”
“Okay, you’re in.” said Sibs.
The End (for now…)
Page:
here is the results to the competition to become a Nintendo Elite, so you are garanteed a place in my next story. The resluts of the pontest to become a Nintendo Elite for the purpose of my next story has been divided up into easily seen sections, because it is pretty long. So here it is. Enjoy, and good luck if you entered...
-----INTRODUCTION-----
It was a quiet day in the Nintendo Forum. Too quiet. One by one, members clicked on Sibs’ new topic ‘Become a Nintendo Elite!’ and his full dastardly scheme came to light.
First came Kingklik, ironically his click on Sibs’ topic was his last. A swirl of green energy appeared in front of Kingkliks screen, and he was sucked in. Every person who tried to look at Sibs’ topic was sucked in, except for those chosen few, the Nintendo Elites. They were safe from the harmful effects of the new and evil topic.
The last was Mr. Gamecube. The fifteen appeared in a strangely familiar scene. Indeed, they seemed to remember the area, but didn’t know where they were. A booming voice came from no where. “You have all shown interest in becoming one of the chosen few, blessed by myself, and our God, Master Shigeru. Now you must pass a test. You will fight for the honour of Nintendo Elite! The winner will be the last survivor!” It suddenly dawned on Dr. Duck where they were (hey, they don’t give out PHDs for nothing). It was the Facility!
-----FIRST BLOOD-----
At that moment, gunfire broke out. Cyclone had found the weapon of his name, and had switched it to magazine discharge. He was unloading clips in the direction of Mr. Gamecube. Mr. Gamecube made a dash for the stairs and ran into the toilets, where he locked the door to a cubicle. Cyclone let him go, and scanned the area for other potential targets.
At that moment Starlight rounded the corner and blinded Cyclone with a glare of light. Starlight ran up and grabbed Cyclones gun from him, and just as his vision cleared, he made out the form of Starlight, aiming the cyclone gun right at him. The clip unloaded in his face. The first blood was spilled.
Meanwhile, MJswerve and Twain had found a secluded area of the facility, just at the end of the bottling room corridor, where the next door was locked shut, and there was only one way in. They were busy arguing over who knew most about Nintendo, and who would kill the other first if this was a game of Perfect Dark, and not reality. They were also busy complaining about how the layout of this facility was the same as the Perfect Dark one, but the texturing was all wrong. A fine job Sibs made of this facility. Suddenly the door began slowly opening… uksgamer2002 rushed in and shot off Falcon 2 rounds with his deadly nostril. Twain grabbed MJswerve and used held him in the crossfire. He took a bullet to both legs.
“NO! I can’t die! I know too much about Nintendo!” yelled MJswerve.
-----TURNING TO THE DARK SIDE-----
Twain remarked “That’s gotta hurt!” as MJ fell to the floor, bleeding. “I’m usually a pacifist, but…” he remarked, as uksgamer2002 incredibly managed to reload using only his nostril. Twain lashed out with his fist, and heard a satisfying crunch as he hit hard into uksgamer2002s nose.
“Oh NO! My only defence!” uksgamer2002 fumbled with the gun in his hand, unaccustomed to this strange tradition of pulling the trigger with a finger. Twain grabbed uksgamer2002s head and repeatedly banged it against the metal door. It then began closing, and Twain held uksgamer2002 in place until he heard the bones crack, as his head was torn off.
MJ, still hanging on to life muttered, “what a bloody mess”
Twain ran into the bottling room, but they were far past their prime. Sitting atop one of the collapsed bottles was Kingklik, with his Data Uplink.
In the room opposite the stairs Homers Odyssey lurked in hiding. Ace_greg dived into the room avoiding gunfire from a sentry Laptop Gun.
“Wait!” he yelled, “I come with a peace offering!” Ace_greg handed over an unnaturally large doughnut.
“Mmmm… Doughnuts” mumbled Homers Odyssey. At that moment GasMask burst in to the room.
“Now I have you!” he gloated. Homers Odyssey ate the huge doughnut, and Ace_greg began to laugh at him, knowing that the radioactive isotope in it would kill any human. But Homers Odyssey was fine. He let out a huge burp of green gas. Ace_greg fell to the floor, but GasMask was fine, and he put a bullet right between Homers Odysseys eyes.
Mr. Gamecube still cowardly hid in a toilet cubicle. He heard strange noises above him. Of course! The ventilation shaft. He tried to clamber up, but was met by a shot in his left hand. DeltaJava was camping up there, and now he knew Mr. Gamecube was nearby. DeltaJave slowly crept through the ventilation shaft to the opening above Mr. Gamecube was cowering. He could see the head between the ventilation grate. He took aim, poking his gun through the metal mesh, when he heard a strange noise. He collapsed on the grate and fell through, narrowly missing Indian-DudeY2K. It had really been him in the cubicle, and he had used his deadly bum fart!
“Don’t hurt me!” Mr. Gamecube pleaded.
Indian-DudeY2K left him cowering, in the toilets now even smellier atmoshpere. On the way out he saw a bright light, and his vision failed him.
-----THE LIGHT FANTASTIC-----
Mr. Gamecube saw the light approaching. What was it? Starlight opened the door to Mr. Gamecubes cubicle and unsheathed the serrated edge combat knife. In the corridor below auf deutscch took aim with a Farsight. Starlights bright form showed up unmistakably on the sight. auf deutscch took aim and fired. The bullet bored a neat hole through the floor, and went straight through Starlights brain. auf deutscch sang a quick verse of ‘Daddy cool’ to celebrate, but he was unaware of someone lurking in the nearby shadows.
AfroJoe pulled out a throwing knife and a small bottle labeled with skull and crossbones. He dipped the blade into the bottle, and pulled it out covered in black liquid. In one fluid movement he flipped round the corner under the stairs, threw the knife, hitting auf deutscch in the arm, and took cover on the corner the other side. auf deutscch felt the poison flow through him. His veins turned black with poison, and as it crept up to his brain he let out an agonizing scream. Thick black blood poured out as AfroJoe pulled the bloodied blade out.
AfroJoes keen senses picked up a smell behind him… Indian-DudeY2K. He spun around, but Indian-DudeY2K was on him.
“Move and I’ll smell you to kingdom come!” Indian-Dude said with a grin.
“Freeze!” came a yell from behind. It was GasMask, Indian-Dudes arch nemesis. He was holding a Laptop Gun.
“You’re coming with me!” ordered GasMask to Indian-Dude. GasMask and AfroJoe exchanged suspicious glances.
-----FOREVER DEDICATED TO NINTENDO-----
GasMask took Indian-Dude to the small room opposite the toilet stairs.
“Fart and I’ll kill you!” stated GasMask. Indian-Dude tried his best not to fart. He held them in countless times, and seconds seemed to go by in minutes. A bead of sweat trickled down Indian-Dudes face. His rear began to grow. And grow. It suddenly exploded, along with the rest of Indian-Dude. The green gas filled the small room. GasMask tried to open the door to escape, but it was too late. Even his advanced air filtering technique could not combat this. GasMask spluttered and fell to the floor, his lungs mutilated by this volatile gas.
MJswerve had managed to slowly crawl to where Twain and Kingklik were. The door opened, and the two could be seen uploading Sibs’ GAD winning Perfect Dark review to the NintyUK website. MJ took aim with the Magnum, and fired off a round. The monitor of the computer screen cracked.
“I have to finish this upload!” wailed Kingklik “Must update the NintyUK site!” Twain valiantly took MJs fire, allowing Kingklik to complete the upload, but Twain was mortally wounded, and began slowly bleeding to death.
“I own you Twian!” MJ yelled like some deadly war cry.
“Upload complete” came the distinctly female voice from Kingkliks Data Uplink. Just as the voice echoed around the room everything seemed to go into slow motion. Dr. Duck had administered a Combat Boost.
MJ took aim at Kingkliks head and pulled the trigger, as Kingklik slowly sailed off the top of the bottle, and through the glass, into the corridor. Kingklik broke a leg on impact, and fell to the floor. The slow motion wore off, and Kingklik writhed in pain.
“I’ll help you” came the friendly voice of Dr. Duck. Just give you a quick sedative here. Unfortunately, he hadn’t quite worked out how to work the sedative guns, and administered the maximum dose, killing Kingklik instantly.
“errr…” Dr. Duck stuttered, “oops?”
-----DAMN DIRTY DOCTERS-----
At that moment AfroJoe burst into the long corridor.
“Hold your fire! I’m a medic!” Dr. Duck yelled.
“Okay” AfroJoe replied grudgingly. MJ took aim at Dr. Duck and demanded medical aid.
“I don’t have any first aid stuff on me though!” exclaimed the doc.
“here, take this” AfroJoe said rummaging around in his vast hair, and producing a first aid kit, a drip, an operating table, and two trained heart surgeons. Unfortunately, years of being stuck in AfroJoes hair does nothing for your mental state, and by now the surgeons were raving mad, talking about the delights of the MubeGube, and the heroic acts of BarryO and the everlasting evil of Trouser.
“You aRe A DisCipLE of tHe EVIL TrouSer!!!” one surgeon said to MJ brandishing a surgical knife. He dived at MJ stabbing him in the heart. AfroJoe opened fire on the two mad surgeons, and Dr. Duck ran for his life. AfroJoes old AR33 came in very handy, and the bullets ripped through the mad surgeons. It was too late for MJswerve though.
“Looks like it’s just you and me.” AfroJoe stated.
Meanwhile Mr. Gamecube left the safety of the cubicle. And lying on the ground was an RCP-120.
AfroJoe and Dr. Duck were uneasily sizing each other up. A figure flashed in their midst and then vanished. The two exchanged piercing glares. Then Mr. Gamecube appeared. Aiming the RCP-120 at AfroJoe he exclaimed, “Dance!” trying to sound like a gangster but failing miserably. A Greenday song blared from nowhere and AfroJoe said flatly, “I can’t dance to this!” Then some 70’s disco blared on and the deadly dance began.
Mr. Gamecube fired off bullet after bullet, but AfroJoe danced with such skill and precision that every one missed him. As the clip ran out of ammo, the songs ended, and AfroJoe was left singing “Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Staying Alive… Ooh yeah! Boogie on down!” As he realized the music was gone he looked around and grinned sheepishly. Dr. Duck saw his chance and pounced. He rammed into the back of Mr. Gamecube and knocked the RCP-120 out of his hands. AfroJoe pulled out a rocket launcher and fired it at the fighting pair. Dr. Duck burnt to a crisp and was sold at a cheap Chinese take-away. But Mr. Gamecubes shield flashed and he survived. AfroJoe realized what had happened, and threw down the rocket launcher. Mr. Gamecube produced a small pistol, and fired it. The head shot was deadly. AfroJoes eyes flashed red for a second.
-----SHOWDOWN-----
“YOU HIT MY HAIR!” he shouted, “NEVER MESS WITH MY HAIR, YOU…” AfroJoes exact words could not be printed due to legal reasons. He charged Mr. Gamecube, but in his rage did not produce a weapon. Mr. Gamecube sidestepped the charge and aimed the pistol right at AfroJoe. He smiled.
“Looks like I win! Yahoo!” Mr. Gamecube exclaimed.
MWA HA HA HA! Laughter boomed throughout the Facility. Mr. Gamecube heard a clinking behind him. He spun around to see a grenade. BOOM!
“That’s what you get for creating pointless Worlds Longest Threads when we already have about 10!” Sibs’ voice boomed round.
“Does that mean I’m an elite?” AfroJoe questioned excitedly.
“Not quite…” Sibs continued, “Who owns you?”
“err… You do?”
AfroJoe was slapped by some unseen force.
“Who owns you?” Sibs repeated.
“umm, Nintendo?”
SLAP.
(about an hour later)
“WHO OWNS YOU?”
“Master Shigeru owns me.”
“Okay, you’re in.” said Sibs.
The End (for now…)
-----INTRODUCTION-----
It was a quiet day in the Nintendo Forum. Too quiet. One by one, members clicked on Sibs’ new topic ‘Become a Nintendo Elite!’ and his full dastardly scheme came to light.
First came Kingklik, ironically his click on Sibs’ topic was his last. A swirl of green energy appeared in front of Kingkliks screen, and he was sucked in. Every person who tried to look at Sibs’ topic was sucked in, except for those chosen few, the Nintendo Elites. They were safe from the harmful effects of the new and evil topic.
The last was Mr. Gamecube. The fifteen appeared in a strangely familiar scene. Indeed, they seemed to remember the area, but didn’t know where they were. A booming voice came from no where. “You have all shown interest in becoming one of the chosen few, blessed by myself, and our God, Master Shigeru. Now you must pass a test. You will fight for the honour of Nintendo Elite! The winner will be the last survivor!” It suddenly dawned on Dr. Duck where they were (hey, they don’t give out PHDs for nothing). It was the Facility!
-----FIRST BLOOD-----
At that moment, gunfire broke out. Cyclone had found the weapon of his name, and had switched it to magazine discharge. He was unloading clips in the direction of Mr. Gamecube. Mr. Gamecube made a dash for the stairs and ran into the toilets, where he locked the door to a cubicle. Cyclone let him go, and scanned the area for other potential targets.
At that moment Starlight rounded the corner and blinded Cyclone with a glare of light. Starlight ran up and grabbed Cyclones gun from him, and just as his vision cleared, he made out the form of Starlight, aiming the cyclone gun right at him. The clip unloaded in his face. The first blood was spilled.
Meanwhile, MJswerve and Twain had found a secluded area of the facility, just at the end of the bottling room corridor, where the next door was locked shut, and there was only one way in. They were busy arguing over who knew most about Nintendo, and who would kill the other first if this was a game of Perfect Dark, and not reality. They were also busy complaining about how the layout of this facility was the same as the Perfect Dark one, but the texturing was all wrong. A fine job Sibs made of this facility. Suddenly the door began slowly opening… uksgamer2002 rushed in and shot off Falcon 2 rounds with his deadly nostril. Twain grabbed MJswerve and used held him in the crossfire. He took a bullet to both legs.
“NO! I can’t die! I know too much about Nintendo!” yelled MJswerve.
-----TURNING TO THE DARK SIDE-----
Twain remarked “That’s gotta hurt!” as MJ fell to the floor, bleeding. “I’m usually a pacifist, but…” he remarked, as uksgamer2002 incredibly managed to reload using only his nostril. Twain lashed out with his fist, and heard a satisfying crunch as he hit hard into uksgamer2002s nose.
“Oh NO! My only defence!” uksgamer2002 fumbled with the gun in his hand, unaccustomed to this strange tradition of pulling the trigger with a finger. Twain grabbed uksgamer2002s head and repeatedly banged it against the metal door. It then began closing, and Twain held uksgamer2002 in place until he heard the bones crack, as his head was torn off.
MJ, still hanging on to life muttered, “what a bloody mess”
Twain ran into the bottling room, but they were far past their prime. Sitting atop one of the collapsed bottles was Kingklik, with his Data Uplink.
In the room opposite the stairs Homers Odyssey lurked in hiding. Ace_greg dived into the room avoiding gunfire from a sentry Laptop Gun.
“Wait!” he yelled, “I come with a peace offering!” Ace_greg handed over an unnaturally large doughnut.
“Mmmm… Doughnuts” mumbled Homers Odyssey. At that moment GasMask burst in to the room.
“Now I have you!” he gloated. Homers Odyssey ate the huge doughnut, and Ace_greg began to laugh at him, knowing that the radioactive isotope in it would kill any human. But Homers Odyssey was fine. He let out a huge burp of green gas. Ace_greg fell to the floor, but GasMask was fine, and he put a bullet right between Homers Odysseys eyes.
Mr. Gamecube still cowardly hid in a toilet cubicle. He heard strange noises above him. Of course! The ventilation shaft. He tried to clamber up, but was met by a shot in his left hand. DeltaJava was camping up there, and now he knew Mr. Gamecube was nearby. DeltaJave slowly crept through the ventilation shaft to the opening above Mr. Gamecube was cowering. He could see the head between the ventilation grate. He took aim, poking his gun through the metal mesh, when he heard a strange noise. He collapsed on the grate and fell through, narrowly missing Indian-DudeY2K. It had really been him in the cubicle, and he had used his deadly bum fart!
“Don’t hurt me!” Mr. Gamecube pleaded.
Indian-DudeY2K left him cowering, in the toilets now even smellier atmoshpere. On the way out he saw a bright light, and his vision failed him.
-----THE LIGHT FANTASTIC-----
Mr. Gamecube saw the light approaching. What was it? Starlight opened the door to Mr. Gamecubes cubicle and unsheathed the serrated edge combat knife. In the corridor below auf deutscch took aim with a Farsight. Starlights bright form showed up unmistakably on the sight. auf deutscch took aim and fired. The bullet bored a neat hole through the floor, and went straight through Starlights brain. auf deutscch sang a quick verse of ‘Daddy cool’ to celebrate, but he was unaware of someone lurking in the nearby shadows.
AfroJoe pulled out a throwing knife and a small bottle labeled with skull and crossbones. He dipped the blade into the bottle, and pulled it out covered in black liquid. In one fluid movement he flipped round the corner under the stairs, threw the knife, hitting auf deutscch in the arm, and took cover on the corner the other side. auf deutscch felt the poison flow through him. His veins turned black with poison, and as it crept up to his brain he let out an agonizing scream. Thick black blood poured out as AfroJoe pulled the bloodied blade out.
AfroJoes keen senses picked up a smell behind him… Indian-DudeY2K. He spun around, but Indian-DudeY2K was on him.
“Move and I’ll smell you to kingdom come!” Indian-Dude said with a grin.
“Freeze!” came a yell from behind. It was GasMask, Indian-Dudes arch nemesis. He was holding a Laptop Gun.
“You’re coming with me!” ordered GasMask to Indian-Dude. GasMask and AfroJoe exchanged suspicious glances.
-----FOREVER DEDICATED TO NINTENDO-----
GasMask took Indian-Dude to the small room opposite the toilet stairs.
“Fart and I’ll kill you!” stated GasMask. Indian-Dude tried his best not to fart. He held them in countless times, and seconds seemed to go by in minutes. A bead of sweat trickled down Indian-Dudes face. His rear began to grow. And grow. It suddenly exploded, along with the rest of Indian-Dude. The green gas filled the small room. GasMask tried to open the door to escape, but it was too late. Even his advanced air filtering technique could not combat this. GasMask spluttered and fell to the floor, his lungs mutilated by this volatile gas.
MJswerve had managed to slowly crawl to where Twain and Kingklik were. The door opened, and the two could be seen uploading Sibs’ GAD winning Perfect Dark review to the NintyUK website. MJ took aim with the Magnum, and fired off a round. The monitor of the computer screen cracked.
“I have to finish this upload!” wailed Kingklik “Must update the NintyUK site!” Twain valiantly took MJs fire, allowing Kingklik to complete the upload, but Twain was mortally wounded, and began slowly bleeding to death.
“I own you Twian!” MJ yelled like some deadly war cry.
“Upload complete” came the distinctly female voice from Kingkliks Data Uplink. Just as the voice echoed around the room everything seemed to go into slow motion. Dr. Duck had administered a Combat Boost.
MJ took aim at Kingkliks head and pulled the trigger, as Kingklik slowly sailed off the top of the bottle, and through the glass, into the corridor. Kingklik broke a leg on impact, and fell to the floor. The slow motion wore off, and Kingklik writhed in pain.
“I’ll help you” came the friendly voice of Dr. Duck. Just give you a quick sedative here. Unfortunately, he hadn’t quite worked out how to work the sedative guns, and administered the maximum dose, killing Kingklik instantly.
“errr…” Dr. Duck stuttered, “oops?”
-----DAMN DIRTY DOCTERS-----
At that moment AfroJoe burst into the long corridor.
“Hold your fire! I’m a medic!” Dr. Duck yelled.
“Okay” AfroJoe replied grudgingly. MJ took aim at Dr. Duck and demanded medical aid.
“I don’t have any first aid stuff on me though!” exclaimed the doc.
“here, take this” AfroJoe said rummaging around in his vast hair, and producing a first aid kit, a drip, an operating table, and two trained heart surgeons. Unfortunately, years of being stuck in AfroJoes hair does nothing for your mental state, and by now the surgeons were raving mad, talking about the delights of the MubeGube, and the heroic acts of BarryO and the everlasting evil of Trouser.
“You aRe A DisCipLE of tHe EVIL TrouSer!!!” one surgeon said to MJ brandishing a surgical knife. He dived at MJ stabbing him in the heart. AfroJoe opened fire on the two mad surgeons, and Dr. Duck ran for his life. AfroJoes old AR33 came in very handy, and the bullets ripped through the mad surgeons. It was too late for MJswerve though.
“Looks like it’s just you and me.” AfroJoe stated.
Meanwhile Mr. Gamecube left the safety of the cubicle. And lying on the ground was an RCP-120.
AfroJoe and Dr. Duck were uneasily sizing each other up. A figure flashed in their midst and then vanished. The two exchanged piercing glares. Then Mr. Gamecube appeared. Aiming the RCP-120 at AfroJoe he exclaimed, “Dance!” trying to sound like a gangster but failing miserably. A Greenday song blared from nowhere and AfroJoe said flatly, “I can’t dance to this!” Then some 70’s disco blared on and the deadly dance began.
Mr. Gamecube fired off bullet after bullet, but AfroJoe danced with such skill and precision that every one missed him. As the clip ran out of ammo, the songs ended, and AfroJoe was left singing “Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Staying Alive… Ooh yeah! Boogie on down!” As he realized the music was gone he looked around and grinned sheepishly. Dr. Duck saw his chance and pounced. He rammed into the back of Mr. Gamecube and knocked the RCP-120 out of his hands. AfroJoe pulled out a rocket launcher and fired it at the fighting pair. Dr. Duck burnt to a crisp and was sold at a cheap Chinese take-away. But Mr. Gamecubes shield flashed and he survived. AfroJoe realized what had happened, and threw down the rocket launcher. Mr. Gamecube produced a small pistol, and fired it. The head shot was deadly. AfroJoes eyes flashed red for a second.
-----SHOWDOWN-----
“YOU HIT MY HAIR!” he shouted, “NEVER MESS WITH MY HAIR, YOU…” AfroJoes exact words could not be printed due to legal reasons. He charged Mr. Gamecube, but in his rage did not produce a weapon. Mr. Gamecube sidestepped the charge and aimed the pistol right at AfroJoe. He smiled.
“Looks like I win! Yahoo!” Mr. Gamecube exclaimed.
MWA HA HA HA! Laughter boomed throughout the Facility. Mr. Gamecube heard a clinking behind him. He spun around to see a grenade. BOOM!
“That’s what you get for creating pointless Worlds Longest Threads when we already have about 10!” Sibs’ voice boomed round.
“Does that mean I’m an elite?” AfroJoe questioned excitedly.
“Not quite…” Sibs continued, “Who owns you?”
“err… You do?”
AfroJoe was slapped by some unseen force.
“Who owns you?” Sibs repeated.
“umm, Nintendo?”
SLAP.
(about an hour later)
“WHO OWNS YOU?”
“Master Shigeru owns me.”
“Okay, you’re in.” said Sibs.
The End (for now…)
It would've been nice to have been able to do a bit of fragging disguised as a simulant, but then NONE of the contestants would've made it to the end!
What makes you think that I'm nig headed? ;-D
Nice battle Sibs. Is Afro Going to be joining the rest of us in our misadventures now?
Who needs to be a notable when you can be a Nintendo Elite! :-)
What makes you think that I'm nig headed? ;-D
Nice battle Sibs. Is Afro Going to be joining the rest of us in our misadventures now?
Who needs to be a notable when you can be a Nintendo Elite! :-)
what's notable?
I've just heard of these new fangled NOT-Ables...
Hey, shall we demand new colours...?
;-)
I've just heard of these new fangled NOT-Ables...
Hey, shall we demand new colours...?
;-)
Good story yet again, but you seem to have missed the bit where I stumble in drunk, click on a combat boost then pull out double Mag sec 4'and jump slow motion John Woo stylee and shoot the room up, and hopefully shoot a few people at the same time, how about a directors cut where I kill Lakitu.
MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH *swallows own tongue and chokes to death*
DOH
MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH *swallows own tongue and chokes to death*
DOH
Top Story, thanks for my inclusion.
Thats the best story on SR !
Shame I died after signing 'daddy cool.' Maybe I could come back to life, maybe I could find a giant N64 controller in my last moments and press start.
That was a good story hrrmmmmmm *fallen asleep after good bedtime storu*
Shame I died after signing 'daddy cool.' Maybe I could come back to life, maybe I could find a giant N64 controller in my last moments and press start.
That was a good story hrrmmmmmm *fallen asleep after good bedtime storu*
;o) At least I got a few.
Nice story Sibs mate. Keep up the good work..
Nice story Sibs mate. Keep up the good work..
Whoooo! I'm in! Whoooo! Now I don't have to be a notable when I can be ....... A Nintendo Elite! :D :D :D
I wasn't included until quite near the end though. I thought I had been left out.
Good story!
I wasn't included until quite near the end though. I thought I had been left out.
Good story!
Sibs wrote:
> AfroJoes keen senses picked up a smell behind him… Indian-DudeY2K.
What did it smell of?!!!
> AfroJoes keen senses picked up a smell behind him… Indian-DudeY2K.
What did it smell of?!!!
hee hee
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