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Ok, I'm trying to list some of the differences between when you're a boy and when you are an "adult" (whatever the hell that means)
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Boy stubs his toe on something and tears well up, some sniffles and that juddery in-breath when you're close to tears.
Man stubs his toe on something, swears profusely and imaginatively for a period of up to 30 seconds. I have invented new swear words through experimentation of bodily limits, the most non-offensive I can post here is "Veiny Choke-Boar".
I have no idea what that means but it made sense at the time.
Boy wants to drink enough that he vomits and wakes up feeling like a camel took a dump in his mouth and someone shrunk his face.
Man wants to do the same, but it takes longer to recover so he settles for being nicely jumbled up and spends 23 seconds stabbing at the keyhole before bursting into the house with a surprised look, farting softly and passing out on the sofa.
Boy wants to kiss a girl and maybe stuff his hand up her shirt, but over the bra because otherwise he'd go off like a bottle-rocket, and will go home happy with the "ache" after a fumbled face-suck in the park after a few ciders. He will invariably chew her face and give her "fat lip" at 1st, and will boast to his mates for a month before calling her a "s**g" and ignoring her.
Man sometimes just wants to curl up beside her and fall asleep because it's been a long day and he has to get up early the next day. (Don't act surprised kids, this WILL happen to you, sometimes sex just isn't that appealing. And if you say "It is to me", you're either bragging and have never had any, or you're new with your girlfriend, but trust me on this)
Boy thinks Man's music is crap. Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, The Doors, Pink Floyd etc but will eventually come around and listen to it, sneakily stealing Man's cds and copying them.
Man will hate Boy's music, because it just sounds like the same thing over and over and where's the melody?
Boy thinks nothing of spending £40 on a video game because it's his parent's money so who cares?
Man thinks nothing of spending £40 on a video game because he earned the money, but how to justify it to the woman, because deep down you know they think you're a kid for still playing games over 25.
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There are others, but I'm tired and must sleep now.
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Boy stubs his toe on something and tears well up, some sniffles and that juddery in-breath when you're close to tears.
Man stubs his toe on something, swears profusely and imaginatively for a period of up to 30 seconds. I have invented new swear words through experimentation of bodily limits, the most non-offensive I can post here is "Veiny Choke-Boar".
I have no idea what that means but it made sense at the time.
Boy wants to drink enough that he vomits and wakes up feeling like a camel took a dump in his mouth and someone shrunk his face.
Man wants to do the same, but it takes longer to recover so he settles for being nicely jumbled up and spends 23 seconds stabbing at the keyhole before bursting into the house with a surprised look, farting softly and passing out on the sofa.
Boy wants to kiss a girl and maybe stuff his hand up her shirt, but over the bra because otherwise he'd go off like a bottle-rocket, and will go home happy with the "ache" after a fumbled face-suck in the park after a few ciders. He will invariably chew her face and give her "fat lip" at 1st, and will boast to his mates for a month before calling her a "s**g" and ignoring her.
Man sometimes just wants to curl up beside her and fall asleep because it's been a long day and he has to get up early the next day. (Don't act surprised kids, this WILL happen to you, sometimes sex just isn't that appealing. And if you say "It is to me", you're either bragging and have never had any, or you're new with your girlfriend, but trust me on this)
Boy thinks Man's music is crap. Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, The Doors, Pink Floyd etc but will eventually come around and listen to it, sneakily stealing Man's cds and copying them.
Man will hate Boy's music, because it just sounds like the same thing over and over and where's the melody?
Boy thinks nothing of spending £40 on a video game because it's his parent's money so who cares?
Man thinks nothing of spending £40 on a video game because he earned the money, but how to justify it to the woman, because deep down you know they think you're a kid for still playing games over 25.
---
There are others, but I'm tired and must sleep now.
VenomByte wrote:
> Man will lie profusly about his alcohol consumption, insisting to
> his girlfriend or boss that he did only have two pints, honest.
Which leads me nicely to...
A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs, he falls over backwards and lands flat on his rear end.
That wouldn't have been so bad, except that he had couple of empty pint bottles in his back pockets, and they broke, and the broken glass carved up his buttocks terribly. But, he was so drunk that he didn't know he was hurt. A few minutes later, as he was undressing, he noticed blood, so he checked himself out in the mirror, and, sure enough, his behind was cut up something terrible. Well, he repaired the damage as best he could under the circumstances, and he went to bed.
The next morning, his head was hurting, and his rear was hurting, and he was hunkering under the covers trying to think up some good story, when his wife came into the bedroom.
"Well, you really tied one on last night," she said. "Where'd you go?"
"I worked late," he said, "and I stopped off for a couple of beers."
"A couple of beers? That's a laugh," she replied. "You got plastered last night. Where the heck did you go?"
"What makes you so sure I got drunk last night, anyway?"
"Well," she replied, "my first big clue was when I got up this morning and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the mirror."
> Man will lie profusly about his alcohol consumption, insisting to
> his girlfriend or boss that he did only have two pints, honest.
Which leads me nicely to...
A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs, he falls over backwards and lands flat on his rear end.
That wouldn't have been so bad, except that he had couple of empty pint bottles in his back pockets, and they broke, and the broken glass carved up his buttocks terribly. But, he was so drunk that he didn't know he was hurt. A few minutes later, as he was undressing, he noticed blood, so he checked himself out in the mirror, and, sure enough, his behind was cut up something terrible. Well, he repaired the damage as best he could under the circumstances, and he went to bed.
The next morning, his head was hurting, and his rear was hurting, and he was hunkering under the covers trying to think up some good story, when his wife came into the bedroom.
"Well, you really tied one on last night," she said. "Where'd you go?"
"I worked late," he said, "and I stopped off for a couple of beers."
"A couple of beers? That's a laugh," she replied. "You got plastered last night. Where the heck did you go?"
"What makes you so sure I got drunk last night, anyway?"
"Well," she replied, "my first big clue was when I got up this morning and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the mirror."
Funny and yet very true. A rarity these days.
Boy will lie profusely about his alcohol consumption, often claiming to have drunk enough the previous night to floor a rhino, whilst actually having drunk two pints.
Man will lie profusly about his alcohol consumption, insisting to his girlfriend or boss that he did only have two pints, honest.
Man will lie profusly about his alcohol consumption, insisting to his girlfriend or boss that he did only have two pints, honest.
Boy will think that racing his Nova around a car-park is clever and by removing the back-seats and putting in stereo equipment, the girls will think he's cool.
Man will think that by treating a woman nicely, paying for her meal and taking an interest in her, the girl will think he's cool.
(Bit of advice Studly, a restaurant where they have pictures of the food on the menu will not do the trick)
Boy will think that porno on the PC is the best thing in the world and will close the door to his room and flinch at the sound of door opening across the landing, flicking the window down to the search engine left open for such times.
Man will think that porno on the PC is the worst thing in the world, there used to be a mystery to porn. The dare in buying a magazine and pretending nobody knew where you going when you got home with it.
The internet has ruined porno.
Boy will think that the news is something to give you time to make a sandwich and grab a drink to after Buffy and before America's Dumbest Animals.
Man will think that the news is a welcome break from Buffy and America's Dumbest Animals.
Man will think that by treating a woman nicely, paying for her meal and taking an interest in her, the girl will think he's cool.
(Bit of advice Studly, a restaurant where they have pictures of the food on the menu will not do the trick)
Boy will think that porno on the PC is the best thing in the world and will close the door to his room and flinch at the sound of door opening across the landing, flicking the window down to the search engine left open for such times.
Man will think that porno on the PC is the worst thing in the world, there used to be a mystery to porn. The dare in buying a magazine and pretending nobody knew where you going when you got home with it.
The internet has ruined porno.
Boy will think that the news is something to give you time to make a sandwich and grab a drink to after Buffy and before America's Dumbest Animals.
Man will think that the news is a welcome break from Buffy and America's Dumbest Animals.
i would but i too need sleep i'll try to tomorrow
i applauded cos you are so right
i applauded cos you are so right
*takes a bow although is unsure why*
It was nothing.
Give me some more, from the female perspective.
It was nothing.
Give me some more, from the female perspective.
*stands and applauds*
Ok, I'm trying to list some of the differences between when you're a boy and when you are an "adult" (whatever the hell that means)
-----
Boy stubs his toe on something and tears well up, some sniffles and that juddery in-breath when you're close to tears.
Man stubs his toe on something, swears profusely and imaginatively for a period of up to 30 seconds. I have invented new swear words through experimentation of bodily limits, the most non-offensive I can post here is "Veiny Choke-Boar".
I have no idea what that means but it made sense at the time.
Boy wants to drink enough that he vomits and wakes up feeling like a camel took a dump in his mouth and someone shrunk his face.
Man wants to do the same, but it takes longer to recover so he settles for being nicely jumbled up and spends 23 seconds stabbing at the keyhole before bursting into the house with a surprised look, farting softly and passing out on the sofa.
Boy wants to kiss a girl and maybe stuff his hand up her shirt, but over the bra because otherwise he'd go off like a bottle-rocket, and will go home happy with the "ache" after a fumbled face-suck in the park after a few ciders. He will invariably chew her face and give her "fat lip" at 1st, and will boast to his mates for a month before calling her a "s**g" and ignoring her.
Man sometimes just wants to curl up beside her and fall asleep because it's been a long day and he has to get up early the next day. (Don't act surprised kids, this WILL happen to you, sometimes sex just isn't that appealing. And if you say "It is to me", you're either bragging and have never had any, or you're new with your girlfriend, but trust me on this)
Boy thinks Man's music is crap. Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, The Doors, Pink Floyd etc but will eventually come around and listen to it, sneakily stealing Man's cds and copying them.
Man will hate Boy's music, because it just sounds like the same thing over and over and where's the melody?
Boy thinks nothing of spending £40 on a video game because it's his parent's money so who cares?
Man thinks nothing of spending £40 on a video game because he earned the money, but how to justify it to the woman, because deep down you know they think you're a kid for still playing games over 25.
---
There are others, but I'm tired and must sleep now.
-----
Boy stubs his toe on something and tears well up, some sniffles and that juddery in-breath when you're close to tears.
Man stubs his toe on something, swears profusely and imaginatively for a period of up to 30 seconds. I have invented new swear words through experimentation of bodily limits, the most non-offensive I can post here is "Veiny Choke-Boar".
I have no idea what that means but it made sense at the time.
Boy wants to drink enough that he vomits and wakes up feeling like a camel took a dump in his mouth and someone shrunk his face.
Man wants to do the same, but it takes longer to recover so he settles for being nicely jumbled up and spends 23 seconds stabbing at the keyhole before bursting into the house with a surprised look, farting softly and passing out on the sofa.
Boy wants to kiss a girl and maybe stuff his hand up her shirt, but over the bra because otherwise he'd go off like a bottle-rocket, and will go home happy with the "ache" after a fumbled face-suck in the park after a few ciders. He will invariably chew her face and give her "fat lip" at 1st, and will boast to his mates for a month before calling her a "s**g" and ignoring her.
Man sometimes just wants to curl up beside her and fall asleep because it's been a long day and he has to get up early the next day. (Don't act surprised kids, this WILL happen to you, sometimes sex just isn't that appealing. And if you say "It is to me", you're either bragging and have never had any, or you're new with your girlfriend, but trust me on this)
Boy thinks Man's music is crap. Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, The Doors, Pink Floyd etc but will eventually come around and listen to it, sneakily stealing Man's cds and copying them.
Man will hate Boy's music, because it just sounds like the same thing over and over and where's the melody?
Boy thinks nothing of spending £40 on a video game because it's his parent's money so who cares?
Man thinks nothing of spending £40 on a video game because he earned the money, but how to justify it to the woman, because deep down you know they think you're a kid for still playing games over 25.
---
There are others, but I'm tired and must sleep now.