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I wrote this ages ago and found it on the laptop, so if it sucks don’t blame me, go back a few months and blame me, I also changed names because I wasn’t sure the original people I used use the forums much. I also apolgize for any grammar mistakes.
After the recent assassinations of big company bosses such as Tinysoft, Daughtery and Bintendo they struggled to agree who would take their place. After careful consideration and hours of monitoring SR’s web site they each chose a new president. For Tinysoft they chose the serious face of Kyz22, Daughtery chose the gaming expert Drunk Cow and Bintendo knew Phi11ip was a sure pick.
After a few days, when the new presidents had settled into their over sized offices. They decided that the Funpit 2, the B Box and the Puzzle Square had sold their maximum and that they could not bring in anymore money and made up their minds they would release new consoles. This is where we join in on the story with Phi11ip…
“Where is my spanking monkey?” Phi11ip shouted sharply at his lazy assistance.
“You ordered for it to be killed and roasted, your eating it now.”
“Well, I’ll be. Tastes like chicken”
“Yes sir, well actually it is a chicken”
“But you said it was spanky”
“No sir, he left big brother ages ago”
“Oh forget it”
“Yes sir… forget what”
“Oh forget it”
“I already have”
“I’ve got it…
While Phi11lip explains his plan to his “assistant”, Kyz22 is relaxing quietly in his summerhouse, at the end of a Heathrow airport runway…
“SO, HOWS THAT NEW CONSOLE COMING ON” Kyz22 tries to get his also lazy assistant, to hear him
“WELL THE DESIGNERS SAID THE GRAPHICS WILL BE SO GOOD IT MAY BECOME MORE ADDICTIVE THAN ANY DRUG”
“YOU GOT DRUGS?” Kyz22 keenly asked
“YES, LIKE DRUGS”
“NO I DON’T”
“SO DO YOU WANT TO CONTINUE PRODUCTION?”
“YOU’RE A DRUG DEALER?”
“I KNOW A FEW”
“SO WHAT DRUGS DO YOU HAVE”
“THE SPACE GAMER”
“IS THAT NEW…
We leave Kyz22 there and move on to the new Daughtery president, Drunk Cow…
“MUHAHAHAHAHHAA we’ll crush them other spoof named companies with our greatest release yet, the Nuklear Bonb which has devastating side affects within less than 3.737374940 seconds play”
“Yes sir, but don’t you think people might become aware of the warhead that sticks out of the top by 2 feet”
“errrrm, no. Anyway just because my plans to destroy the world are obvious doesn’t mean they will fail”
A voice is heard from the telecom “Mr Cow, some SR agents to see you about the distribution of Nuclear weapons”
“Yes Millie, release the trap door, I don’t want that Tony sniffing round my plans”
Two screams are heard from the telecom before a loud cracking noise of bones breaking “only 3 more staff regulars to go boss… can I get a pay rise for all these secret murders?”
“NO. Your fired”
“But sir, I need this joooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…
Now that the first scene is over, lets look at the second, where we join the presidents at a press conference.
The three presidents sit down at their table, from B&Q with its low low prices so go down to your local B&Q with a wide selection of hardware… well anyway back to the unlikely story. As soon as they sit down the questions start flooding in.
“Hey Cow, is it true that you’re planning to destroy the world”
“Yes”
There’s a loud murmur from the press. “So anymore questions?” Kyz22 asks, eager to answer questions about his new console. But all he gets is a silence. Tumble weed hits Kyz22 in the face then carries on its journey to its next spoof appearance “Oh, so that’s how its gonna be then. Fine, I guess no one wants me eh”
*cough cough*
“Arrrrrrrhhhhh I hate it when people cough when I’m talking. I cant stand this, soon as no one wants me I may as well kill myself” Kyz22 pulls out a knife and stabs himself in the chest and soon falls to the floor…
“Phi11ip, what’s your approach to this new ‘Console War’ ”
“errm well you just saw one approach which was to kill my opponents” another silence, only broken when they dragged Ants body from under the table. Everyone laughed “and another is basically just producing a good console”
“Thank you, and I’ve got a question for Cow. What class of Nuclear Weapon have you inserted into your console”
“Well I think it is a B-class weapon but my advisors recommend I call it A-class, the effects of that can kill you in under 5 seconds” the press laughs “And if not death, major deformity such as growing extra limbs”
“Thank you. That’s all my questions gone and a humorous answer from Cow”
“But that wasn’t a joke, I’m being serious”
“Hah! the last guy to say that was Fred Fence, and children haven’t been affected by the B Box”
“Now they will all grow extra ears”
“Sure, whatever
“Fine don’t believe me but you’ll die when you play”
“OK, but why do you think the people will buy this”
“Well, my advisors advised me that adding an element of danger will skyrocket sales. I think the advice the advisors advised me will work and will boost sales, I took the advice”
“Rightyo then, I’ve definitely run out of questions”
“Good” Phi11ip sharply said as he points a gun at the one that kept asking questions
“But could I just ask…” Phi11ip pulls the trigger.
“So anymore questions” Phi11ip asks. Again, there’s another silence “Well I guess we can all go then”
We leave the presidents here at the end of the story. But if your wondering what happened with the consoles… well you’re an idiot, because these consoles don’t actually exist.
Sorry for the crap ending but I’m sure you didn’t want to read through another 3000 words of it. If you do want to read the full story… well I deleted it so I’d have to write it again :-D
After the recent assassinations of big company bosses such as Tinysoft, Daughtery and Bintendo they struggled to agree who would take their place. After careful consideration and hours of monitoring SR’s web site they each chose a new president. For Tinysoft they chose the serious face of Kyz22, Daughtery chose the gaming expert Drunk Cow and Bintendo knew Phi11ip was a sure pick.
After a few days, when the new presidents had settled into their over sized offices. They decided that the Funpit 2, the B Box and the Puzzle Square had sold their maximum and that they could not bring in anymore money and made up their minds they would release new consoles. This is where we join in on the story with Phi11ip…
“Where is my spanking monkey?” Phi11ip shouted sharply at his lazy assistance.
“You ordered for it to be killed and roasted, your eating it now.”
“Well, I’ll be. Tastes like chicken”
“Yes sir, well actually it is a chicken”
“But you said it was spanky”
“No sir, he left big brother ages ago”
“Oh forget it”
“Yes sir… forget what”
“Oh forget it”
“I already have”
“I’ve got it…
While Phi11lip explains his plan to his “assistant”, Kyz22 is relaxing quietly in his summerhouse, at the end of a Heathrow airport runway…
“SO, HOWS THAT NEW CONSOLE COMING ON” Kyz22 tries to get his also lazy assistant, to hear him
“WELL THE DESIGNERS SAID THE GRAPHICS WILL BE SO GOOD IT MAY BECOME MORE ADDICTIVE THAN ANY DRUG”
“YOU GOT DRUGS?” Kyz22 keenly asked
“YES, LIKE DRUGS”
“NO I DON’T”
“SO DO YOU WANT TO CONTINUE PRODUCTION?”
“YOU’RE A DRUG DEALER?”
“I KNOW A FEW”
“SO WHAT DRUGS DO YOU HAVE”
“THE SPACE GAMER”
“IS THAT NEW…
We leave Kyz22 there and move on to the new Daughtery president, Drunk Cow…
“MUHAHAHAHAHHAA we’ll crush them other spoof named companies with our greatest release yet, the Nuklear Bonb which has devastating side affects within less than 3.737374940 seconds play”
“Yes sir, but don’t you think people might become aware of the warhead that sticks out of the top by 2 feet”
“errrrm, no. Anyway just because my plans to destroy the world are obvious doesn’t mean they will fail”
A voice is heard from the telecom “Mr Cow, some SR agents to see you about the distribution of Nuclear weapons”
“Yes Millie, release the trap door, I don’t want that Tony sniffing round my plans”
Two screams are heard from the telecom before a loud cracking noise of bones breaking “only 3 more staff regulars to go boss… can I get a pay rise for all these secret murders?”
“NO. Your fired”
“But sir, I need this joooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…
Now that the first scene is over, lets look at the second, where we join the presidents at a press conference.
The three presidents sit down at their table, from B&Q with its low low prices so go down to your local B&Q with a wide selection of hardware… well anyway back to the unlikely story. As soon as they sit down the questions start flooding in.
“Hey Cow, is it true that you’re planning to destroy the world”
“Yes”
There’s a loud murmur from the press. “So anymore questions?” Kyz22 asks, eager to answer questions about his new console. But all he gets is a silence. Tumble weed hits Kyz22 in the face then carries on its journey to its next spoof appearance “Oh, so that’s how its gonna be then. Fine, I guess no one wants me eh”
*cough cough*
“Arrrrrrrhhhhh I hate it when people cough when I’m talking. I cant stand this, soon as no one wants me I may as well kill myself” Kyz22 pulls out a knife and stabs himself in the chest and soon falls to the floor…
“Phi11ip, what’s your approach to this new ‘Console War’ ”
“errm well you just saw one approach which was to kill my opponents” another silence, only broken when they dragged Ants body from under the table. Everyone laughed “and another is basically just producing a good console”
“Thank you, and I’ve got a question for Cow. What class of Nuclear Weapon have you inserted into your console”
“Well I think it is a B-class weapon but my advisors recommend I call it A-class, the effects of that can kill you in under 5 seconds” the press laughs “And if not death, major deformity such as growing extra limbs”
“Thank you. That’s all my questions gone and a humorous answer from Cow”
“But that wasn’t a joke, I’m being serious”
“Hah! the last guy to say that was Fred Fence, and children haven’t been affected by the B Box”
“Now they will all grow extra ears”
“Sure, whatever
“Fine don’t believe me but you’ll die when you play”
“OK, but why do you think the people will buy this”
“Well, my advisors advised me that adding an element of danger will skyrocket sales. I think the advice the advisors advised me will work and will boost sales, I took the advice”
“Rightyo then, I’ve definitely run out of questions”
“Good” Phi11ip sharply said as he points a gun at the one that kept asking questions
“But could I just ask…” Phi11ip pulls the trigger.
“So anymore questions” Phi11ip asks. Again, there’s another silence “Well I guess we can all go then”
We leave the presidents here at the end of the story. But if your wondering what happened with the consoles… well you’re an idiot, because these consoles don’t actually exist.
Sorry for the crap ending but I’m sure you didn’t want to read through another 3000 words of it. If you do want to read the full story… well I deleted it so I’d have to write it again :-D
i know notice u rpelaces pi with pri, but does it matter, you get to kill someone
you were the fist name that came to my mind, i like you that much (yeah, right(!) )
aninem wrote:
> and Bintendo knew Phi11ip was a sure 'p***k.
Oi!
> and Bintendo knew Phi11ip was a sure 'p***k.
Oi!
I wrote this ages ago and found it on the laptop, so if it sucks don’t blame me, go back a few months and blame me, I also changed names because I wasn’t sure the original people I used use the forums much. I also apolgize for any grammar mistakes.
After the recent assassinations of big company bosses such as Tinysoft, Daughtery and Bintendo they struggled to agree who would take their place. After careful consideration and hours of monitoring SR’s web site they each chose a new president. For Tinysoft they chose the serious face of Kyz22, Daughtery chose the gaming expert Drunk Cow and Bintendo knew Phi11ip was a sure pick.
After a few days, when the new presidents had settled into their over sized offices. They decided that the Funpit 2, the B Box and the Puzzle Square had sold their maximum and that they could not bring in anymore money and made up their minds they would release new consoles. This is where we join in on the story with Phi11ip…
“Where is my spanking monkey?” Phi11ip shouted sharply at his lazy assistance.
“You ordered for it to be killed and roasted, your eating it now.”
“Well, I’ll be. Tastes like chicken”
“Yes sir, well actually it is a chicken”
“But you said it was spanky”
“No sir, he left big brother ages ago”
“Oh forget it”
“Yes sir… forget what”
“Oh forget it”
“I already have”
“I’ve got it…
While Phi11lip explains his plan to his “assistant”, Kyz22 is relaxing quietly in his summerhouse, at the end of a Heathrow airport runway…
“SO, HOWS THAT NEW CONSOLE COMING ON” Kyz22 tries to get his also lazy assistant, to hear him
“WELL THE DESIGNERS SAID THE GRAPHICS WILL BE SO GOOD IT MAY BECOME MORE ADDICTIVE THAN ANY DRUG”
“YOU GOT DRUGS?” Kyz22 keenly asked
“YES, LIKE DRUGS”
“NO I DON’T”
“SO DO YOU WANT TO CONTINUE PRODUCTION?”
“YOU’RE A DRUG DEALER?”
“I KNOW A FEW”
“SO WHAT DRUGS DO YOU HAVE”
“THE SPACE GAMER”
“IS THAT NEW…
We leave Kyz22 there and move on to the new Daughtery president, Drunk Cow…
“MUHAHAHAHAHHAA we’ll crush them other spoof named companies with our greatest release yet, the Nuklear Bonb which has devastating side affects within less than 3.737374940 seconds play”
“Yes sir, but don’t you think people might become aware of the warhead that sticks out of the top by 2 feet”
“errrrm, no. Anyway just because my plans to destroy the world are obvious doesn’t mean they will fail”
A voice is heard from the telecom “Mr Cow, some SR agents to see you about the distribution of Nuclear weapons”
“Yes Millie, release the trap door, I don’t want that Tony sniffing round my plans”
Two screams are heard from the telecom before a loud cracking noise of bones breaking “only 3 more staff regulars to go boss… can I get a pay rise for all these secret murders?”
“NO. Your fired”
“But sir, I need this joooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…
Now that the first scene is over, lets look at the second, where we join the presidents at a press conference.
The three presidents sit down at their table, from B&Q with its low low prices so go down to your local B&Q with a wide selection of hardware… well anyway back to the unlikely story. As soon as they sit down the questions start flooding in.
“Hey Cow, is it true that you’re planning to destroy the world”
“Yes”
There’s a loud murmur from the press. “So anymore questions?” Kyz22 asks, eager to answer questions about his new console. But all he gets is a silence. Tumble weed hits Kyz22 in the face then carries on its journey to its next spoof appearance “Oh, so that’s how its gonna be then. Fine, I guess no one wants me eh”
*cough cough*
“Arrrrrrrhhhhh I hate it when people cough when I’m talking. I cant stand this, soon as no one wants me I may as well kill myself” Kyz22 pulls out a knife and stabs himself in the chest and soon falls to the floor…
“Phi11ip, what’s your approach to this new ‘Console War’ ”
“errm well you just saw one approach which was to kill my opponents” another silence, only broken when they dragged Ants body from under the table. Everyone laughed “and another is basically just producing a good console”
“Thank you, and I’ve got a question for Cow. What class of Nuclear Weapon have you inserted into your console”
“Well I think it is a B-class weapon but my advisors recommend I call it A-class, the effects of that can kill you in under 5 seconds” the press laughs “And if not death, major deformity such as growing extra limbs”
“Thank you. That’s all my questions gone and a humorous answer from Cow”
“But that wasn’t a joke, I’m being serious”
“Hah! the last guy to say that was Fred Fence, and children haven’t been affected by the B Box”
“Now they will all grow extra ears”
“Sure, whatever
“Fine don’t believe me but you’ll die when you play”
“OK, but why do you think the people will buy this”
“Well, my advisors advised me that adding an element of danger will skyrocket sales. I think the advice the advisors advised me will work and will boost sales, I took the advice”
“Rightyo then, I’ve definitely run out of questions”
“Good” Phi11ip sharply said as he points a gun at the one that kept asking questions
“But could I just ask…” Phi11ip pulls the trigger.
“So anymore questions” Phi11ip asks. Again, there’s another silence “Well I guess we can all go then”
We leave the presidents here at the end of the story. But if your wondering what happened with the consoles… well you’re an idiot, because these consoles don’t actually exist.
Sorry for the crap ending but I’m sure you didn’t want to read through another 3000 words of it. If you do want to read the full story… well I deleted it so I’d have to write it again :-D
After the recent assassinations of big company bosses such as Tinysoft, Daughtery and Bintendo they struggled to agree who would take their place. After careful consideration and hours of monitoring SR’s web site they each chose a new president. For Tinysoft they chose the serious face of Kyz22, Daughtery chose the gaming expert Drunk Cow and Bintendo knew Phi11ip was a sure pick.
After a few days, when the new presidents had settled into their over sized offices. They decided that the Funpit 2, the B Box and the Puzzle Square had sold their maximum and that they could not bring in anymore money and made up their minds they would release new consoles. This is where we join in on the story with Phi11ip…
“Where is my spanking monkey?” Phi11ip shouted sharply at his lazy assistance.
“You ordered for it to be killed and roasted, your eating it now.”
“Well, I’ll be. Tastes like chicken”
“Yes sir, well actually it is a chicken”
“But you said it was spanky”
“No sir, he left big brother ages ago”
“Oh forget it”
“Yes sir… forget what”
“Oh forget it”
“I already have”
“I’ve got it…
While Phi11lip explains his plan to his “assistant”, Kyz22 is relaxing quietly in his summerhouse, at the end of a Heathrow airport runway…
“SO, HOWS THAT NEW CONSOLE COMING ON” Kyz22 tries to get his also lazy assistant, to hear him
“WELL THE DESIGNERS SAID THE GRAPHICS WILL BE SO GOOD IT MAY BECOME MORE ADDICTIVE THAN ANY DRUG”
“YOU GOT DRUGS?” Kyz22 keenly asked
“YES, LIKE DRUGS”
“NO I DON’T”
“SO DO YOU WANT TO CONTINUE PRODUCTION?”
“YOU’RE A DRUG DEALER?”
“I KNOW A FEW”
“SO WHAT DRUGS DO YOU HAVE”
“THE SPACE GAMER”
“IS THAT NEW…
We leave Kyz22 there and move on to the new Daughtery president, Drunk Cow…
“MUHAHAHAHAHHAA we’ll crush them other spoof named companies with our greatest release yet, the Nuklear Bonb which has devastating side affects within less than 3.737374940 seconds play”
“Yes sir, but don’t you think people might become aware of the warhead that sticks out of the top by 2 feet”
“errrrm, no. Anyway just because my plans to destroy the world are obvious doesn’t mean they will fail”
A voice is heard from the telecom “Mr Cow, some SR agents to see you about the distribution of Nuclear weapons”
“Yes Millie, release the trap door, I don’t want that Tony sniffing round my plans”
Two screams are heard from the telecom before a loud cracking noise of bones breaking “only 3 more staff regulars to go boss… can I get a pay rise for all these secret murders?”
“NO. Your fired”
“But sir, I need this joooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…
Now that the first scene is over, lets look at the second, where we join the presidents at a press conference.
The three presidents sit down at their table, from B&Q with its low low prices so go down to your local B&Q with a wide selection of hardware… well anyway back to the unlikely story. As soon as they sit down the questions start flooding in.
“Hey Cow, is it true that you’re planning to destroy the world”
“Yes”
There’s a loud murmur from the press. “So anymore questions?” Kyz22 asks, eager to answer questions about his new console. But all he gets is a silence. Tumble weed hits Kyz22 in the face then carries on its journey to its next spoof appearance “Oh, so that’s how its gonna be then. Fine, I guess no one wants me eh”
*cough cough*
“Arrrrrrrhhhhh I hate it when people cough when I’m talking. I cant stand this, soon as no one wants me I may as well kill myself” Kyz22 pulls out a knife and stabs himself in the chest and soon falls to the floor…
“Phi11ip, what’s your approach to this new ‘Console War’ ”
“errm well you just saw one approach which was to kill my opponents” another silence, only broken when they dragged Ants body from under the table. Everyone laughed “and another is basically just producing a good console”
“Thank you, and I’ve got a question for Cow. What class of Nuclear Weapon have you inserted into your console”
“Well I think it is a B-class weapon but my advisors recommend I call it A-class, the effects of that can kill you in under 5 seconds” the press laughs “And if not death, major deformity such as growing extra limbs”
“Thank you. That’s all my questions gone and a humorous answer from Cow”
“But that wasn’t a joke, I’m being serious”
“Hah! the last guy to say that was Fred Fence, and children haven’t been affected by the B Box”
“Now they will all grow extra ears”
“Sure, whatever
“Fine don’t believe me but you’ll die when you play”
“OK, but why do you think the people will buy this”
“Well, my advisors advised me that adding an element of danger will skyrocket sales. I think the advice the advisors advised me will work and will boost sales, I took the advice”
“Rightyo then, I’ve definitely run out of questions”
“Good” Phi11ip sharply said as he points a gun at the one that kept asking questions
“But could I just ask…” Phi11ip pulls the trigger.
“So anymore questions” Phi11ip asks. Again, there’s another silence “Well I guess we can all go then”
We leave the presidents here at the end of the story. But if your wondering what happened with the consoles… well you’re an idiot, because these consoles don’t actually exist.
Sorry for the crap ending but I’m sure you didn’t want to read through another 3000 words of it. If you do want to read the full story… well I deleted it so I’d have to write it again :-D