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I’ve given you a few guides down the line. One on how to make a good game, one on how to make an FPS, one on how to be a good poster…I’d like to think of myself as a bit of an expert on the issue. So, I thought I’d help out you guys by writing my very own Guide to Writing a Guide. With the amount of topics made recently, I’m sure it’ll come in very handy.
1. PICK AN OBVIOUS STEP
You’ve got to make a good first impression. Snappy headline aside, the first pointer is the most important. It’s got to be something painstakingly obvious, so much so that you can be hilarious in pointing it out, going into painstaking detail. An example would be ‘sign up’ if you’re talking about posting, ‘switch on the PS2’ when doing a Metal Gear Solid 2 walkthrough…that sort of thing. Got it?
2. SERIOUS, BUT NOT TOO SERIOUS
Now, that first step may have thrown some people off, surrealism isn’t to everyone’s taste (for instance, my dad hates Shooting Stars). Your best bet is to go a little bit serious in the next stage, but throw in a few jokes so you can keep up with the laugh-a-minute world of walkthroughs. The joke doesn’t really have to be related thought, which reminds me; did you hear the one about the woman who went into the bar and asked for a double entendre? The barman gave her one. See? Just slip a random gag in there to lighten it up a bit.
3. DIGRESS
Well, before this goes from a guide to a serious boring FOG Prime essay you need to go off on a tangent. Stay within the confines of whatever guide you’re writing, but just suddenly switch topics. If you’re talking about a film’s storyline, suddenly start talking about the supporting actress’s hairstyle. Keep your audience guessing, don’t let the guide become stale; the FOG Chat equivalent of running last week’s loaf of bread under a bit of cold water, if you will.
4. BUT BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND
In a very witty sentence you should say something along the lines of ‘but I digress’ (a personal favourite of mine) and get back to, as this sub-heading says, the topic at hand. Keeping the flow from funny to serious, you can maintain a balance that keeps everyone happy. If you haven’t already, make a random reference to a notable and/or staff member.
5. THE SEX BIT
This being a chat forum, no topic worth its salt would miss out the silly sex bit where you get to talk about dangly bits. As long as you can find a tenuous link between your chosen topic and any sort of sexual act or tool, you’re in there, ready to make stupid sexual innuendos. You get bonus points for staying on topic, but it’s not entirely essential. However, creative use of punctuation such as ( . )( . ) is frowned upon.
6. THE MATHS BIT
A wise man once said “math is nothing but the lesbian sister of biology”, and in keeping with his philosophy we shall move from reproduction and dangly bits to summarizing how to succeed in whatever field this topic is on using a mathematical formula. People who go on internet chat forums are commonly misperceived as teenagers with no life, sitting in their underwear playing video games, listening to pirated music and watching pornography where we in fact have very little time to waste. For those of us in a hurry, this concise mathematical equation will help us to get the gist of the topic without having to actually read it. Of course, having maths in your post will also make you look big and clever.
7. THE CLLIQUE INSIDER BIT
This is where you give a ‘shout out’ to all your SR mates by somehow implicating them into the topic and/or the above formula. You can also use this for cheap shots against people you hate, like that right prat El Blokey. Basically, you have free reign and, much like part 5, you don’t have to worry about it relating to your topic.
8. FIN
A nice snappy paragraph (or eight if you’re AliBoy) to sum up the topic for those too stupid to comprehend the maths and too lazy to read the rest of the topic. Be sure to add in more gags (which reminds me, how do you make a baby drink? Switch the blender on!) and then say something random HORSES ARE SLOWLY GROWING. And there you have it. Eight steps to being able to post eight steps. A guide to a guide. Et cetera, et cetera.
Hope you all take note, and don’t be afraid to copy and paste this topic into a new topic as a basic outline to your next guide. Thanks for reading.
1. PICK AN OBVIOUS STEP
You’ve got to make a good first impression. Snappy headline aside, the first pointer is the most important. It’s got to be something painstakingly obvious, so much so that you can be hilarious in pointing it out, going into painstaking detail. An example would be ‘sign up’ if you’re talking about posting, ‘switch on the PS2’ when doing a Metal Gear Solid 2 walkthrough…that sort of thing. Got it?
2. SERIOUS, BUT NOT TOO SERIOUS
Now, that first step may have thrown some people off, surrealism isn’t to everyone’s taste (for instance, my dad hates Shooting Stars). Your best bet is to go a little bit serious in the next stage, but throw in a few jokes so you can keep up with the laugh-a-minute world of walkthroughs. The joke doesn’t really have to be related thought, which reminds me; did you hear the one about the woman who went into the bar and asked for a double entendre? The barman gave her one. See? Just slip a random gag in there to lighten it up a bit.
3. DIGRESS
Well, before this goes from a guide to a serious boring FOG Prime essay you need to go off on a tangent. Stay within the confines of whatever guide you’re writing, but just suddenly switch topics. If you’re talking about a film’s storyline, suddenly start talking about the supporting actress’s hairstyle. Keep your audience guessing, don’t let the guide become stale; the FOG Chat equivalent of running last week’s loaf of bread under a bit of cold water, if you will.
4. BUT BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND
In a very witty sentence you should say something along the lines of ‘but I digress’ (a personal favourite of mine) and get back to, as this sub-heading says, the topic at hand. Keeping the flow from funny to serious, you can maintain a balance that keeps everyone happy. If you haven’t already, make a random reference to a notable and/or staff member.
5. THE SEX BIT
This being a chat forum, no topic worth its salt would miss out the silly sex bit where you get to talk about dangly bits. As long as you can find a tenuous link between your chosen topic and any sort of sexual act or tool, you’re in there, ready to make stupid sexual innuendos. You get bonus points for staying on topic, but it’s not entirely essential. However, creative use of punctuation such as ( . )( . ) is frowned upon.
6. THE MATHS BIT
A wise man once said “math is nothing but the lesbian sister of biology”, and in keeping with his philosophy we shall move from reproduction and dangly bits to summarizing how to succeed in whatever field this topic is on using a mathematical formula. People who go on internet chat forums are commonly misperceived as teenagers with no life, sitting in their underwear playing video games, listening to pirated music and watching pornography where we in fact have very little time to waste. For those of us in a hurry, this concise mathematical equation will help us to get the gist of the topic without having to actually read it. Of course, having maths in your post will also make you look big and clever.
7. THE CLLIQUE INSIDER BIT
This is where you give a ‘shout out’ to all your SR mates by somehow implicating them into the topic and/or the above formula. You can also use this for cheap shots against people you hate, like that right prat El Blokey. Basically, you have free reign and, much like part 5, you don’t have to worry about it relating to your topic.
8. FIN
A nice snappy paragraph (or eight if you’re AliBoy) to sum up the topic for those too stupid to comprehend the maths and too lazy to read the rest of the topic. Be sure to add in more gags (which reminds me, how do you make a baby drink? Switch the blender on!) and then say something random HORSES ARE SLOWLY GROWING. And there you have it. Eight steps to being able to post eight steps. A guide to a guide. Et cetera, et cetera.
Hope you all take note, and don’t be afraid to copy and paste this topic into a new topic as a basic outline to your next guide. Thanks for reading.
Congrats dude, earnt it :-)
OK. The GBA:SP rocks by the way.
El Blokey wrote:
> Heh. Except most of the time I'm arguing with complete idiots like
> that guy who wrote the Daredevil review.
Hush about Cubist now.
> Heh. Except most of the time I'm arguing with complete idiots like
> that guy who wrote the Daredevil review.
Hush about Cubist now.
First Asher, now you.
Any more thoughts?
Any more thoughts?
Grr, I had this exact same idea last week! Stop stealing my thoughts!
Heh. Except most of the time I'm arguing with complete idiots like that guy who wrote the Daredevil review.
How appropriate that i pop my ugly head up at such a time.I agree generally right.
I'd also say a good poster has to support his ideas yet be flexible and willing to learn from the well backed up views of others. Whilst trying to maintain popularity by not criticising everything that other posters have to say.
I'd also say a good poster has to support his ideas yet be flexible and willing to learn from the well backed up views of others. Whilst trying to maintain popularity by not criticising everything that other posters have to say.
Very good post there :-)
I’ve given you a few guides down the line. One on how to make a good game, one on how to make an FPS, one on how to be a good poster…I’d like to think of myself as a bit of an expert on the issue. So, I thought I’d help out you guys by writing my very own Guide to Writing a Guide. With the amount of topics made recently, I’m sure it’ll come in very handy.
1. PICK AN OBVIOUS STEP
You’ve got to make a good first impression. Snappy headline aside, the first pointer is the most important. It’s got to be something painstakingly obvious, so much so that you can be hilarious in pointing it out, going into painstaking detail. An example would be ‘sign up’ if you’re talking about posting, ‘switch on the PS2’ when doing a Metal Gear Solid 2 walkthrough…that sort of thing. Got it?
2. SERIOUS, BUT NOT TOO SERIOUS
Now, that first step may have thrown some people off, surrealism isn’t to everyone’s taste (for instance, my dad hates Shooting Stars). Your best bet is to go a little bit serious in the next stage, but throw in a few jokes so you can keep up with the laugh-a-minute world of walkthroughs. The joke doesn’t really have to be related thought, which reminds me; did you hear the one about the woman who went into the bar and asked for a double entendre? The barman gave her one. See? Just slip a random gag in there to lighten it up a bit.
3. DIGRESS
Well, before this goes from a guide to a serious boring FOG Prime essay you need to go off on a tangent. Stay within the confines of whatever guide you’re writing, but just suddenly switch topics. If you’re talking about a film’s storyline, suddenly start talking about the supporting actress’s hairstyle. Keep your audience guessing, don’t let the guide become stale; the FOG Chat equivalent of running last week’s loaf of bread under a bit of cold water, if you will.
4. BUT BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND
In a very witty sentence you should say something along the lines of ‘but I digress’ (a personal favourite of mine) and get back to, as this sub-heading says, the topic at hand. Keeping the flow from funny to serious, you can maintain a balance that keeps everyone happy. If you haven’t already, make a random reference to a notable and/or staff member.
5. THE SEX BIT
This being a chat forum, no topic worth its salt would miss out the silly sex bit where you get to talk about dangly bits. As long as you can find a tenuous link between your chosen topic and any sort of sexual act or tool, you’re in there, ready to make stupid sexual innuendos. You get bonus points for staying on topic, but it’s not entirely essential. However, creative use of punctuation such as ( . )( . ) is frowned upon.
6. THE MATHS BIT
A wise man once said “math is nothing but the lesbian sister of biology”, and in keeping with his philosophy we shall move from reproduction and dangly bits to summarizing how to succeed in whatever field this topic is on using a mathematical formula. People who go on internet chat forums are commonly misperceived as teenagers with no life, sitting in their underwear playing video games, listening to pirated music and watching pornography where we in fact have very little time to waste. For those of us in a hurry, this concise mathematical equation will help us to get the gist of the topic without having to actually read it. Of course, having maths in your post will also make you look big and clever.
7. THE CLLIQUE INSIDER BIT
This is where you give a ‘shout out’ to all your SR mates by somehow implicating them into the topic and/or the above formula. You can also use this for cheap shots against people you hate, like that right prat El Blokey. Basically, you have free reign and, much like part 5, you don’t have to worry about it relating to your topic.
8. FIN
A nice snappy paragraph (or eight if you’re AliBoy) to sum up the topic for those too stupid to comprehend the maths and too lazy to read the rest of the topic. Be sure to add in more gags (which reminds me, how do you make a baby drink? Switch the blender on!) and then say something random HORSES ARE SLOWLY GROWING. And there you have it. Eight steps to being able to post eight steps. A guide to a guide. Et cetera, et cetera.
Hope you all take note, and don’t be afraid to copy and paste this topic into a new topic as a basic outline to your next guide. Thanks for reading.
1. PICK AN OBVIOUS STEP
You’ve got to make a good first impression. Snappy headline aside, the first pointer is the most important. It’s got to be something painstakingly obvious, so much so that you can be hilarious in pointing it out, going into painstaking detail. An example would be ‘sign up’ if you’re talking about posting, ‘switch on the PS2’ when doing a Metal Gear Solid 2 walkthrough…that sort of thing. Got it?
2. SERIOUS, BUT NOT TOO SERIOUS
Now, that first step may have thrown some people off, surrealism isn’t to everyone’s taste (for instance, my dad hates Shooting Stars). Your best bet is to go a little bit serious in the next stage, but throw in a few jokes so you can keep up with the laugh-a-minute world of walkthroughs. The joke doesn’t really have to be related thought, which reminds me; did you hear the one about the woman who went into the bar and asked for a double entendre? The barman gave her one. See? Just slip a random gag in there to lighten it up a bit.
3. DIGRESS
Well, before this goes from a guide to a serious boring FOG Prime essay you need to go off on a tangent. Stay within the confines of whatever guide you’re writing, but just suddenly switch topics. If you’re talking about a film’s storyline, suddenly start talking about the supporting actress’s hairstyle. Keep your audience guessing, don’t let the guide become stale; the FOG Chat equivalent of running last week’s loaf of bread under a bit of cold water, if you will.
4. BUT BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND
In a very witty sentence you should say something along the lines of ‘but I digress’ (a personal favourite of mine) and get back to, as this sub-heading says, the topic at hand. Keeping the flow from funny to serious, you can maintain a balance that keeps everyone happy. If you haven’t already, make a random reference to a notable and/or staff member.
5. THE SEX BIT
This being a chat forum, no topic worth its salt would miss out the silly sex bit where you get to talk about dangly bits. As long as you can find a tenuous link between your chosen topic and any sort of sexual act or tool, you’re in there, ready to make stupid sexual innuendos. You get bonus points for staying on topic, but it’s not entirely essential. However, creative use of punctuation such as ( . )( . ) is frowned upon.
6. THE MATHS BIT
A wise man once said “math is nothing but the lesbian sister of biology”, and in keeping with his philosophy we shall move from reproduction and dangly bits to summarizing how to succeed in whatever field this topic is on using a mathematical formula. People who go on internet chat forums are commonly misperceived as teenagers with no life, sitting in their underwear playing video games, listening to pirated music and watching pornography where we in fact have very little time to waste. For those of us in a hurry, this concise mathematical equation will help us to get the gist of the topic without having to actually read it. Of course, having maths in your post will also make you look big and clever.
7. THE CLLIQUE INSIDER BIT
This is where you give a ‘shout out’ to all your SR mates by somehow implicating them into the topic and/or the above formula. You can also use this for cheap shots against people you hate, like that right prat El Blokey. Basically, you have free reign and, much like part 5, you don’t have to worry about it relating to your topic.
8. FIN
A nice snappy paragraph (or eight if you’re AliBoy) to sum up the topic for those too stupid to comprehend the maths and too lazy to read the rest of the topic. Be sure to add in more gags (which reminds me, how do you make a baby drink? Switch the blender on!) and then say something random HORSES ARE SLOWLY GROWING. And there you have it. Eight steps to being able to post eight steps. A guide to a guide. Et cetera, et cetera.
Hope you all take note, and don’t be afraid to copy and paste this topic into a new topic as a basic outline to your next guide. Thanks for reading.