GetDotted Domains

Viewing Thread:
"Dark Scare"

The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.

Tue 01/04/03 at 01:29
Regular
Posts: 787
Hello, this is a story written by my sister who is younger than me and is just in grade 9. I was really impressed at her writing skills as well as her creativity. I should say my sister is a talented story writer. I would like you all to read this short story and give me some feedback and give the credits to my sister. I hope you all enjoy!

"Marsha!," cried Joan, "How could you do that to the poor kid?"
"Hey, what else could I do for fun? Besides its one of the joys of public school."
Marsha had just finished telling Joan of one of her many escapades in school.
This time, one of her classmates had a sore rump caused by a sharp pencil that who
else but Marsh had put on his chair.
"Well is he okay?" Joan asked looking at the thirteen year old with concern in her large green eyes. Joan was younger by three years.
"How should I know?," said Marsha, with a what-do-I-care shrug.
"Marsha you - "
"Don't you ever wish you could leave here and go somewhere totally different like America, Australia and.....you know?," Marsha cut in, her beautiful hazel eyes widening questioningly at Joan, effectively changing the subject.
'Here' was the state of Kuwait. Both Marsha and Joan were born and brought up here. Looking around her, Joan wondered why anyone would want to leave this beautiful dessert country. The two girls were walking near the apartment buildings where they lived. Noticing that it was getting dark, Joan suggested they head back home. Before the older girl could reply, a soccer ball rolled towards them, coming to rest in front of Joan. Putting her right leg on top of the ball, she lifted her brow questioningly at Marsha.
"Look," Marsha whispered nodding towards a group of boys they hadn't noticed nearby.
"Must be their ball," Joan whispered in return. Then lifting up her voice she called out to the boys, "Hey, your ball?"
The boys kept coming towards them. "Yeah, that's ours. Sorry 'bout that," said one of the boys when the lights overhead finally lighted their faces. They were young and looked to be around Marsha's age.
"Hey Daimon!," said Marsha with recognition, "Mohammed, Shon...rest of you meet my friend Joan Deveraux.
"Hoy you doing," they said in unison.
"Hello," said Joan, her brown air wih highlights bowed down in shyness.
Marsha nudged Joan who upon looking up was answered with a sierce glare that clearly sent the message, "Get your act uo". Joan immediately straightened up and looked the boys in the eye.
"Hey Marsha you wanna go and grab a bite to eat? You know, just you and me," said Daimon.
"Aww.....my parents won't let me go".
"Oh......well maybe another time," said Daimon dejectedly, "can I talk to you for a moment in a private place please Marsha?," he asked looking pointedly at Joan and his friends.
"sure man," said Marsha.
"Yeah, ummm....excuse me," Joan said walking back a couple of paces. Leaning on the wall, she watched as the boys moved away and Daimon started talking seriously to Marsha. Then, all a sudden she felt the burning gaze of Mohammed, one of Daimon's friends, upon her. She felt a shiver run down her body. There was something about him that touched a nerve. He had the darkest hair Joan had ever seen. It glistened in the overhead light. He had dark brown eyes in an arresting face and a rugged, physique, snugged into black skintiant jeans. He was dark and he - Joan stopped her train of thoughts as she heard laugter. Looking over at Marsha, she saw that older girl was clutching her belly and laughing ard. Daimon on the other hand, had a serious expression on his face. Joan gazed at Marsha in puzzlement, as she was still laughing she walked towards Joan. Clutching Joan's hand she pulled her away from the boys.
"Hey Marsha, what's so funny?"
"You know that kid Mohammed? Well, turns out he wants to go out with you."An image of his face rose in Joan's mind. Determinedly she pushed it away.
"So what's so funny about that?"
"Well, he probably wouldn't have said that if he knew you were ten!," Marsha said.
"Well jeez Marsha - what's the matter?," Joan asked when all of a sudden Marsha stopped laughing. She was staring right past Joan with a horrified expression on her face. Fear starting to build up, Joan slowly turned around and saw the boys coming with Mohammed leading them, a determined expression on his face. Gripping hold of Joan's arm, Marsha started running, pulling Joan along with her.
"Why are we running?," Joan asked stumbling in her haste.
"I know Daimon well, but the rest of the guys I only know in passing. But I've heard rumours about that kid Mohammed," Marsha said letting go of Joan, "Bad ones," she added.
"You're overreacting Marsha but I'll go along with you.
"See that wall right there?," she asked pointing towards a wall in front of us that looked to be taller than they were. "We're gonna climb that wall and go over it."
"Are you crazy?," Joan asked, now huffing and puffing, "You know I hate climbing walls that high."
"Don't worry I'll help you"
When they finally reached the wall, Marsha lithely climbed the wall, her athletic frame easily crouched low getting ready to jump.
"Hey!," Joan said indignantly, "You said you'd help me climb."
"Oh come on, it isin't so difficult. Just find cracks in the wall and climb. Hurry up, I can hear them coming."
Sighing, Joan wiped her cammy hands on her jeans and started climbing one by one, she told herself, not looking down when she finally reached the top she let out another sigh of relief at not falling. "
"Now we jump"
"Jump? Jump? You never said anything about jumping," said Joan in evident distress.
PLOP
"Marsha? Where are you?"
"I'm down here, I'll catch you. Look just let go. It truely feels wonderful."
Seeing no other way around it, Joan let go and fell. It was over in a matter of seconds Joan looked up and muttered a prayer to be on solid ground again.
"Come on. I think we lost them for now. Let's go home," Marsha said pulling Joan up.
Together they walked home, Marsha clearly longing for a homy environment at home and Joan having a lot of questions that had no answers.
"What had set Marsha off?", Joan wondered. Oh well, she was just glad she had her feet on ground level again.
Tue 01/04/03 at 14:27
Regular
"Laughingstock"
Posts: 3,522
Good. Some interesting description in there, and the language between the characters flowed. Your sister has a talent for writing for sure.
Tue 01/04/03 at 01:29
Regular
"The Gamemaster"
Posts: 6
Hello, this is a story written by my sister who is younger than me and is just in grade 9. I was really impressed at her writing skills as well as her creativity. I should say my sister is a talented story writer. I would like you all to read this short story and give me some feedback and give the credits to my sister. I hope you all enjoy!

"Marsha!," cried Joan, "How could you do that to the poor kid?"
"Hey, what else could I do for fun? Besides its one of the joys of public school."
Marsha had just finished telling Joan of one of her many escapades in school.
This time, one of her classmates had a sore rump caused by a sharp pencil that who
else but Marsh had put on his chair.
"Well is he okay?" Joan asked looking at the thirteen year old with concern in her large green eyes. Joan was younger by three years.
"How should I know?," said Marsha, with a what-do-I-care shrug.
"Marsha you - "
"Don't you ever wish you could leave here and go somewhere totally different like America, Australia and.....you know?," Marsha cut in, her beautiful hazel eyes widening questioningly at Joan, effectively changing the subject.
'Here' was the state of Kuwait. Both Marsha and Joan were born and brought up here. Looking around her, Joan wondered why anyone would want to leave this beautiful dessert country. The two girls were walking near the apartment buildings where they lived. Noticing that it was getting dark, Joan suggested they head back home. Before the older girl could reply, a soccer ball rolled towards them, coming to rest in front of Joan. Putting her right leg on top of the ball, she lifted her brow questioningly at Marsha.
"Look," Marsha whispered nodding towards a group of boys they hadn't noticed nearby.
"Must be their ball," Joan whispered in return. Then lifting up her voice she called out to the boys, "Hey, your ball?"
The boys kept coming towards them. "Yeah, that's ours. Sorry 'bout that," said one of the boys when the lights overhead finally lighted their faces. They were young and looked to be around Marsha's age.
"Hey Daimon!," said Marsha with recognition, "Mohammed, Shon...rest of you meet my friend Joan Deveraux.
"Hoy you doing," they said in unison.
"Hello," said Joan, her brown air wih highlights bowed down in shyness.
Marsha nudged Joan who upon looking up was answered with a sierce glare that clearly sent the message, "Get your act uo". Joan immediately straightened up and looked the boys in the eye.
"Hey Marsha you wanna go and grab a bite to eat? You know, just you and me," said Daimon.
"Aww.....my parents won't let me go".
"Oh......well maybe another time," said Daimon dejectedly, "can I talk to you for a moment in a private place please Marsha?," he asked looking pointedly at Joan and his friends.
"sure man," said Marsha.
"Yeah, ummm....excuse me," Joan said walking back a couple of paces. Leaning on the wall, she watched as the boys moved away and Daimon started talking seriously to Marsha. Then, all a sudden she felt the burning gaze of Mohammed, one of Daimon's friends, upon her. She felt a shiver run down her body. There was something about him that touched a nerve. He had the darkest hair Joan had ever seen. It glistened in the overhead light. He had dark brown eyes in an arresting face and a rugged, physique, snugged into black skintiant jeans. He was dark and he - Joan stopped her train of thoughts as she heard laugter. Looking over at Marsha, she saw that older girl was clutching her belly and laughing ard. Daimon on the other hand, had a serious expression on his face. Joan gazed at Marsha in puzzlement, as she was still laughing she walked towards Joan. Clutching Joan's hand she pulled her away from the boys.
"Hey Marsha, what's so funny?"
"You know that kid Mohammed? Well, turns out he wants to go out with you."An image of his face rose in Joan's mind. Determinedly she pushed it away.
"So what's so funny about that?"
"Well, he probably wouldn't have said that if he knew you were ten!," Marsha said.
"Well jeez Marsha - what's the matter?," Joan asked when all of a sudden Marsha stopped laughing. She was staring right past Joan with a horrified expression on her face. Fear starting to build up, Joan slowly turned around and saw the boys coming with Mohammed leading them, a determined expression on his face. Gripping hold of Joan's arm, Marsha started running, pulling Joan along with her.
"Why are we running?," Joan asked stumbling in her haste.
"I know Daimon well, but the rest of the guys I only know in passing. But I've heard rumours about that kid Mohammed," Marsha said letting go of Joan, "Bad ones," she added.
"You're overreacting Marsha but I'll go along with you.
"See that wall right there?," she asked pointing towards a wall in front of us that looked to be taller than they were. "We're gonna climb that wall and go over it."
"Are you crazy?," Joan asked, now huffing and puffing, "You know I hate climbing walls that high."
"Don't worry I'll help you"
When they finally reached the wall, Marsha lithely climbed the wall, her athletic frame easily crouched low getting ready to jump.
"Hey!," Joan said indignantly, "You said you'd help me climb."
"Oh come on, it isin't so difficult. Just find cracks in the wall and climb. Hurry up, I can hear them coming."
Sighing, Joan wiped her cammy hands on her jeans and started climbing one by one, she told herself, not looking down when she finally reached the top she let out another sigh of relief at not falling. "
"Now we jump"
"Jump? Jump? You never said anything about jumping," said Joan in evident distress.
PLOP
"Marsha? Where are you?"
"I'm down here, I'll catch you. Look just let go. It truely feels wonderful."
Seeing no other way around it, Joan let go and fell. It was over in a matter of seconds Joan looked up and muttered a prayer to be on solid ground again.
"Come on. I think we lost them for now. Let's go home," Marsha said pulling Joan up.
Together they walked home, Marsha clearly longing for a homy environment at home and Joan having a lot of questions that had no answers.
"What had set Marsha off?", Joan wondered. Oh well, she was just glad she had her feet on ground level again.

Freeola & GetDotted are rated 5 Stars

Check out some of our customer reviews below:

Unrivalled services
Freeola has to be one of, if not the best, ISP around as the services they offer seem unrivalled.
Thanks!
Thank you for dealing with this so promptly it's nice having a service provider that offers a good service, rare to find nowadays.

View More Reviews

Need some help? Give us a call on 01376 55 60 60

Go to Support Centre
Feedback Close Feedback

It appears you are using an old browser, as such, some parts of the Freeola and Getdotted site will not work as intended. Using the latest version of your browser, or another browser such as Google Chrome, Mozilla Firefox, or Opera will provide a better, safer browsing experience for you.