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And in the beginning, Sega did create The Saturn (2 months before Sony brought their machine, the "playstation" out) and the people saw it was good.
Then Sony did woo the flock and Sega dumped the Saturn, leaving the faithful to wander the desert in confusion for 40 titles at £40.
And on the 2nd attempt, Sega did bring down from the mountain the Dreamcast, and once more the people did rejoice.
And from the west did come Sony with their Black Box of Wonder.
And the people did weep with joy and did fight (like girls) to obtain this forbidden fruit.
And Sega did once more smite their console with the plague of non-supporting European Customers.
And Sega fans did weep.
And lo, did the Sega owners fall to their knees and curse the sky with shaking fists and tears of bitter betrayal in their eyes:
"Damn you Sega! We believed in you! We had faith in you. When you brought out the Saturn, we paid for it. Then you killed it because Sony kicked your ass. Then you brought out the Dreamcast to get the jump on Sony, only to abandon us again in gaming wilderness when, once more, Sony bent you over a table and yanked your pants down."
And it was written that the Dreamcast did fall in price to below £80 and the games cheaply did appear on the shelves.
Those that had turned their eye did secretly covet the games of old machine and did horde them in their temples.
And all was good.
But then after being sealed in the tomb for many months, Sega did step out into the sun and say "Lo, for I am Lazarusega and I am returned from the dead once more!"
And those that did sell their machines fell to the ground and beat the sand with their fists.
"Why? Why has thou forsaken us Sega? We did follow your gospel and you led us from the garden"
And the Sega Man did adjust his tie and spake thus:
"It's the oldest trick in the book. "Closing Down Sales" so you all run and buy the stock, we make money and then we announce that it isn't actually dead. Sorry, and I know we have your money now and will continue to make the Dreamcast, what can we say? You got played. Hahahaha"
And the Sega-ralites did look at each other in confusion and ask of themselves "What is this strange news? Does this mean, oh master, that the console will stay cheap and available to the beggars and the thieves?"
But Sega had fled the land and lived forever in a land of milk and honey.
And money.
---
The moral of this story is:
Just because a company says it's closing down, doesn't mean you have to rush and buy the stock.
Sega probably made more on Dreamcasts since they announced it was dead than when they launched the damn thing.
Here endeth the lesson.
Then Sony did woo the flock and Sega dumped the Saturn, leaving the faithful to wander the desert in confusion for 40 titles at £40.
And on the 2nd attempt, Sega did bring down from the mountain the Dreamcast, and once more the people did rejoice.
And from the west did come Sony with their Black Box of Wonder.
And the people did weep with joy and did fight (like girls) to obtain this forbidden fruit.
And Sega did once more smite their console with the plague of non-supporting European Customers.
And Sega fans did weep.
And lo, did the Sega owners fall to their knees and curse the sky with shaking fists and tears of bitter betrayal in their eyes:
"Damn you Sega! We believed in you! We had faith in you. When you brought out the Saturn, we paid for it. Then you killed it because Sony kicked your ass. Then you brought out the Dreamcast to get the jump on Sony, only to abandon us again in gaming wilderness when, once more, Sony bent you over a table and yanked your pants down."
And it was written that the Dreamcast did fall in price to below £80 and the games cheaply did appear on the shelves.
Those that had turned their eye did secretly covet the games of old machine and did horde them in their temples.
And all was good.
But then after being sealed in the tomb for many months, Sega did step out into the sun and say "Lo, for I am Lazarusega and I am returned from the dead once more!"
And those that did sell their machines fell to the ground and beat the sand with their fists.
"Why? Why has thou forsaken us Sega? We did follow your gospel and you led us from the garden"
And the Sega Man did adjust his tie and spake thus:
"It's the oldest trick in the book. "Closing Down Sales" so you all run and buy the stock, we make money and then we announce that it isn't actually dead. Sorry, and I know we have your money now and will continue to make the Dreamcast, what can we say? You got played. Hahahaha"
And the Sega-ralites did look at each other in confusion and ask of themselves "What is this strange news? Does this mean, oh master, that the console will stay cheap and available to the beggars and the thieves?"
But Sega had fled the land and lived forever in a land of milk and honey.
And money.
---
The moral of this story is:
Just because a company says it's closing down, doesn't mean you have to rush and buy the stock.
Sega probably made more on Dreamcasts since they announced it was dead than when they launched the damn thing.
Here endeth the lesson.
I think it's because it's so classy that any reply will just pale into significance. I was working on a 'Pearly Gates' pun with a nice twist on Sodom and Gameboy'orra but it wasn't good enough...
I would have bought a Dreamcast but I didn't have the money. I still don't have the money.
Interesting post conveying humour and a morale for life. What more could we want?
Interesting post conveying humour and a morale for life. What more could we want?
Hmmm that's odd, extremely few replies to this.
*makes note to self to not be so pithy in his observations and posts and to use basic humour about smashing stuff wiv sticks*
I promise to never attempt well written posts with puns galore in again.
"Sega-ralites" bloody classic.
*makes note to self to not be so pithy in his observations and posts and to use basic humour about smashing stuff wiv sticks*
I promise to never attempt well written posts with puns galore in again.
"Sega-ralites" bloody classic.
I'm damned either way.
And Lo again, Goaty and FM are using some of the OLD Testament stories, instead of the 'NEW' Testament, as talked of in the title! :D
And Lo, a 3rd God appeared upon the mountainside, and his name was Nintendo. And he was enraged. He viewed how his loyal followers had flocked to the Gamecube shrine upon which had been installed Sega icons.
He mourned this defiling of his worshippers. But he had made a pact with the Sega God and could not honourably break this uneven truce (he was a Japanese God, they got this thing about 'honour').
And thus it was that the Ninty's continued to worship Sega games at the shrine of Gamecube, and thus it was that Sega continued to produce the Dreamcast in unholy abundance.
Those that had stayed loyal to their Sega god wept for joy whilst those that had turned to Sony performed a great wailing and gnashing of teeth.
The Devil Gates watched on, waiting for his chance.
FM: Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery
In other words: Good post :)
He mourned this defiling of his worshippers. But he had made a pact with the Sega God and could not honourably break this uneven truce (he was a Japanese God, they got this thing about 'honour').
And thus it was that the Ninty's continued to worship Sega games at the shrine of Gamecube, and thus it was that Sega continued to produce the Dreamcast in unholy abundance.
Those that had stayed loyal to their Sega god wept for joy whilst those that had turned to Sony performed a great wailing and gnashing of teeth.
The Devil Gates watched on, waiting for his chance.
FM: Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery
In other words: Good post :)
And in the beginning, Sega did create The Saturn (2 months before Sony brought their machine, the "playstation" out) and the people saw it was good.
Then Sony did woo the flock and Sega dumped the Saturn, leaving the faithful to wander the desert in confusion for 40 titles at £40.
And on the 2nd attempt, Sega did bring down from the mountain the Dreamcast, and once more the people did rejoice.
And from the west did come Sony with their Black Box of Wonder.
And the people did weep with joy and did fight (like girls) to obtain this forbidden fruit.
And Sega did once more smite their console with the plague of non-supporting European Customers.
And Sega fans did weep.
And lo, did the Sega owners fall to their knees and curse the sky with shaking fists and tears of bitter betrayal in their eyes:
"Damn you Sega! We believed in you! We had faith in you. When you brought out the Saturn, we paid for it. Then you killed it because Sony kicked your ass. Then you brought out the Dreamcast to get the jump on Sony, only to abandon us again in gaming wilderness when, once more, Sony bent you over a table and yanked your pants down."
And it was written that the Dreamcast did fall in price to below £80 and the games cheaply did appear on the shelves.
Those that had turned their eye did secretly covet the games of old machine and did horde them in their temples.
And all was good.
But then after being sealed in the tomb for many months, Sega did step out into the sun and say "Lo, for I am Lazarusega and I am returned from the dead once more!"
And those that did sell their machines fell to the ground and beat the sand with their fists.
"Why? Why has thou forsaken us Sega? We did follow your gospel and you led us from the garden"
And the Sega Man did adjust his tie and spake thus:
"It's the oldest trick in the book. "Closing Down Sales" so you all run and buy the stock, we make money and then we announce that it isn't actually dead. Sorry, and I know we have your money now and will continue to make the Dreamcast, what can we say? You got played. Hahahaha"
And the Sega-ralites did look at each other in confusion and ask of themselves "What is this strange news? Does this mean, oh master, that the console will stay cheap and available to the beggars and the thieves?"
But Sega had fled the land and lived forever in a land of milk and honey.
And money.
---
The moral of this story is:
Just because a company says it's closing down, doesn't mean you have to rush and buy the stock.
Sega probably made more on Dreamcasts since they announced it was dead than when they launched the damn thing.
Here endeth the lesson.
Then Sony did woo the flock and Sega dumped the Saturn, leaving the faithful to wander the desert in confusion for 40 titles at £40.
And on the 2nd attempt, Sega did bring down from the mountain the Dreamcast, and once more the people did rejoice.
And from the west did come Sony with their Black Box of Wonder.
And the people did weep with joy and did fight (like girls) to obtain this forbidden fruit.
And Sega did once more smite their console with the plague of non-supporting European Customers.
And Sega fans did weep.
And lo, did the Sega owners fall to their knees and curse the sky with shaking fists and tears of bitter betrayal in their eyes:
"Damn you Sega! We believed in you! We had faith in you. When you brought out the Saturn, we paid for it. Then you killed it because Sony kicked your ass. Then you brought out the Dreamcast to get the jump on Sony, only to abandon us again in gaming wilderness when, once more, Sony bent you over a table and yanked your pants down."
And it was written that the Dreamcast did fall in price to below £80 and the games cheaply did appear on the shelves.
Those that had turned their eye did secretly covet the games of old machine and did horde them in their temples.
And all was good.
But then after being sealed in the tomb for many months, Sega did step out into the sun and say "Lo, for I am Lazarusega and I am returned from the dead once more!"
And those that did sell their machines fell to the ground and beat the sand with their fists.
"Why? Why has thou forsaken us Sega? We did follow your gospel and you led us from the garden"
And the Sega Man did adjust his tie and spake thus:
"It's the oldest trick in the book. "Closing Down Sales" so you all run and buy the stock, we make money and then we announce that it isn't actually dead. Sorry, and I know we have your money now and will continue to make the Dreamcast, what can we say? You got played. Hahahaha"
And the Sega-ralites did look at each other in confusion and ask of themselves "What is this strange news? Does this mean, oh master, that the console will stay cheap and available to the beggars and the thieves?"
But Sega had fled the land and lived forever in a land of milk and honey.
And money.
---
The moral of this story is:
Just because a company says it's closing down, doesn't mean you have to rush and buy the stock.
Sega probably made more on Dreamcasts since they announced it was dead than when they launched the damn thing.
Here endeth the lesson.