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Dear Gamer,
A year ago I died and I went to Hell. But hey, what on earth did I expect - I was a drug-dealing murderer after all. Those days are behind me now - just old news.
You see, my true purpose in writing this letter is to tell you all that down here in Lord Lucifer's fiery underworld there's a thriving gaming community! Tis' true. All the red night long, me and my fellow sinners just sit around playing devilishly cool videogames. Who would've believed it, eh?!
Anyway, I guess you're all wondering what games are popular down here in Uncle Satan's pit, right?
Well, first off, the hottest title at the moment is a game called "doG". It's a first-person shooter that places you in the role of an angel-mashing demon called Nicky Firefly. In a nutshell: your orders are to infiltrate the gardens and palaces of Heaven armed with an arsenal of supernatural weaponry and dish-out as much merry hell as you can.
Man, the "Dark-Spank" laser gun [my fave] locks-on to an angel's halo and turns it into a razor-sharp carousel of doom. I tell ya, watching an angel's head fly off then pop like a ripe tomato is truly satisfying, believe me! And the game is MASSIVE! 666 levels! It's gotta be the biggest game I've ever played!
Another popular game in these parts is "AntiChrist: The Legacy" - believed to be Lord Lucifer's favourite title. Set in the days of Armageddon, it's a civilisation-building war strategy sim.
Basically, you have to invade the United States of America with Satan's Dark Legions, crush all Christian resistance, build and create new evil empires, and ultimately ensure the destruction of the returning Son of God. Great entertainment and incredibly immersive! The graphics have to be seen to be believed!
Other games you MUST check out when you eventually get here are:
-Satan's Dark Delight 2.
-Black Mass Racing.
-Pyro the Church-burning Dragon.
-Nude Nun Boxing.
-Adventures Of An Orgy-lovin' He-goat.
-Angelic Bloodbath 3.
-To The Devil A Daughter.
-Born Again Sinner.
-Hangman.
-The Cloven Hoof.
-Serial Killer 4.
-Badworld: Baphomet's Oddysee.
And there are many, many more I could mention! And it goes without saying that there are numerous games currently in development!
God knows what they do in Heaven, but it can't be as swish as playing videogames forever can it?
So my advice to all you still-living gamers is: do bad things, become more evil, do whatever it takes to book yourself a one-way ticket to Satan's wonderland, and you'll be playing the games of your dreams for all eternity!
Think about it.
Yours Unfaithfully,
Anonymous.
A year ago I died and I went to Hell. But hey, what on earth did I expect - I was a drug-dealing murderer after all. Those days are behind me now - just old news.
You see, my true purpose in writing this letter is to tell you all that down here in Lord Lucifer's fiery underworld there's a thriving gaming community! Tis' true. All the red night long, me and my fellow sinners just sit around playing devilishly cool videogames. Who would've believed it, eh?!
Anyway, I guess you're all wondering what games are popular down here in Uncle Satan's pit, right?
Well, first off, the hottest title at the moment is a game called "doG". It's a first-person shooter that places you in the role of an angel-mashing demon called Nicky Firefly. In a nutshell: your orders are to infiltrate the gardens and palaces of Heaven armed with an arsenal of supernatural weaponry and dish-out as much merry hell as you can.
Man, the "Dark-Spank" laser gun [my fave] locks-on to an angel's halo and turns it into a razor-sharp carousel of doom. I tell ya, watching an angel's head fly off then pop like a ripe tomato is truly satisfying, believe me! And the game is MASSIVE! 666 levels! It's gotta be the biggest game I've ever played!
Another popular game in these parts is "AntiChrist: The Legacy" - believed to be Lord Lucifer's favourite title. Set in the days of Armageddon, it's a civilisation-building war strategy sim.
Basically, you have to invade the United States of America with Satan's Dark Legions, crush all Christian resistance, build and create new evil empires, and ultimately ensure the destruction of the returning Son of God. Great entertainment and incredibly immersive! The graphics have to be seen to be believed!
Other games you MUST check out when you eventually get here are:
-Satan's Dark Delight 2.
-Black Mass Racing.
-Pyro the Church-burning Dragon.
-Nude Nun Boxing.
-Adventures Of An Orgy-lovin' He-goat.
-Angelic Bloodbath 3.
-To The Devil A Daughter.
-Born Again Sinner.
-Hangman.
-The Cloven Hoof.
-Serial Killer 4.
-Badworld: Baphomet's Oddysee.
And there are many, many more I could mention! And it goes without saying that there are numerous games currently in development!
God knows what they do in Heaven, but it can't be as swish as playing videogames forever can it?
So my advice to all you still-living gamers is: do bad things, become more evil, do whatever it takes to book yourself a one-way ticket to Satan's wonderland, and you'll be playing the games of your dreams for all eternity!
Think about it.
Yours Unfaithfully,
Anonymous.
Black Glove wrote:
> So when did you have your sense-of-humour bypass, or have I wandered
> into the wuss forum by mistake?
yer i agree man!
> So when did you have your sense-of-humour bypass, or have I wandered
> into the wuss forum by mistake?
yer i agree man!
Nerevar?!
"Nude Nun Boxing". Yes please. I'm off to Hell.
"Nude Nun Boxing". Yes please. I'm off to Hell.
Urgh, I thought this was going to be about Jack the Ripper. I feel cheated.
So when did you have your sense-of-humour bypass, or have I wandered into the wuss forum by mistake?
NOT FUNNY.
I thought it weas an april fools joke as well....
I thought it weas an april fools joke as well....
Dear Gamer,
A year ago I died and I went to Hell. But hey, what on earth did I expect - I was a drug-dealing murderer after all. Those days are behind me now - just old news.
You see, my true purpose in writing this letter is to tell you all that down here in Lord Lucifer's fiery underworld there's a thriving gaming community! Tis' true. All the red night long, me and my fellow sinners just sit around playing devilishly cool videogames. Who would've believed it, eh?!
Anyway, I guess you're all wondering what games are popular down here in Uncle Satan's pit, right?
Well, first off, the hottest title at the moment is a game called "doG". It's a first-person shooter that places you in the role of an angel-mashing demon called Nicky Firefly. In a nutshell: your orders are to infiltrate the gardens and palaces of Heaven armed with an arsenal of supernatural weaponry and dish-out as much merry hell as you can.
Man, the "Dark-Spank" laser gun [my fave] locks-on to an angel's halo and turns it into a razor-sharp carousel of doom. I tell ya, watching an angel's head fly off then pop like a ripe tomato is truly satisfying, believe me! And the game is MASSIVE! 666 levels! It's gotta be the biggest game I've ever played!
Another popular game in these parts is "AntiChrist: The Legacy" - believed to be Lord Lucifer's favourite title. Set in the days of Armageddon, it's a civilisation-building war strategy sim.
Basically, you have to invade the United States of America with Satan's Dark Legions, crush all Christian resistance, build and create new evil empires, and ultimately ensure the destruction of the returning Son of God. Great entertainment and incredibly immersive! The graphics have to be seen to be believed!
Other games you MUST check out when you eventually get here are:
-Satan's Dark Delight 2.
-Black Mass Racing.
-Pyro the Church-burning Dragon.
-Nude Nun Boxing.
-Adventures Of An Orgy-lovin' He-goat.
-Angelic Bloodbath 3.
-To The Devil A Daughter.
-Born Again Sinner.
-Hangman.
-The Cloven Hoof.
-Serial Killer 4.
-Badworld: Baphomet's Oddysee.
And there are many, many more I could mention! And it goes without saying that there are numerous games currently in development!
God knows what they do in Heaven, but it can't be as swish as playing videogames forever can it?
So my advice to all you still-living gamers is: do bad things, become more evil, do whatever it takes to book yourself a one-way ticket to Satan's wonderland, and you'll be playing the games of your dreams for all eternity!
Think about it.
Yours Unfaithfully,
Anonymous.
A year ago I died and I went to Hell. But hey, what on earth did I expect - I was a drug-dealing murderer after all. Those days are behind me now - just old news.
You see, my true purpose in writing this letter is to tell you all that down here in Lord Lucifer's fiery underworld there's a thriving gaming community! Tis' true. All the red night long, me and my fellow sinners just sit around playing devilishly cool videogames. Who would've believed it, eh?!
Anyway, I guess you're all wondering what games are popular down here in Uncle Satan's pit, right?
Well, first off, the hottest title at the moment is a game called "doG". It's a first-person shooter that places you in the role of an angel-mashing demon called Nicky Firefly. In a nutshell: your orders are to infiltrate the gardens and palaces of Heaven armed with an arsenal of supernatural weaponry and dish-out as much merry hell as you can.
Man, the "Dark-Spank" laser gun [my fave] locks-on to an angel's halo and turns it into a razor-sharp carousel of doom. I tell ya, watching an angel's head fly off then pop like a ripe tomato is truly satisfying, believe me! And the game is MASSIVE! 666 levels! It's gotta be the biggest game I've ever played!
Another popular game in these parts is "AntiChrist: The Legacy" - believed to be Lord Lucifer's favourite title. Set in the days of Armageddon, it's a civilisation-building war strategy sim.
Basically, you have to invade the United States of America with Satan's Dark Legions, crush all Christian resistance, build and create new evil empires, and ultimately ensure the destruction of the returning Son of God. Great entertainment and incredibly immersive! The graphics have to be seen to be believed!
Other games you MUST check out when you eventually get here are:
-Satan's Dark Delight 2.
-Black Mass Racing.
-Pyro the Church-burning Dragon.
-Nude Nun Boxing.
-Adventures Of An Orgy-lovin' He-goat.
-Angelic Bloodbath 3.
-To The Devil A Daughter.
-Born Again Sinner.
-Hangman.
-The Cloven Hoof.
-Serial Killer 4.
-Badworld: Baphomet's Oddysee.
And there are many, many more I could mention! And it goes without saying that there are numerous games currently in development!
God knows what they do in Heaven, but it can't be as swish as playing videogames forever can it?
So my advice to all you still-living gamers is: do bad things, become more evil, do whatever it takes to book yourself a one-way ticket to Satan's wonderland, and you'll be playing the games of your dreams for all eternity!
Think about it.
Yours Unfaithfully,
Anonymous.