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I'm sure my two flatmates are hugely appreciative of me not playing silly beggars today. What they forget is that I'm a hugely unreasonable individual: and I fully intend to undertake a number of unpleasant tricks in the next few days... 1st April or not. Mwu ha ha!
Seeing as this is the FOG forum, I thought I'd innocently suggest a few tricks to disrupt the 'future of gaming' for your friends and family. I take no responsibility in the event of any readers getting a thorough pasting from elder brothers etc having attempted such tomfoolery. I have also included a legal warning as a footnote to each, so, take note.
-THE MEMORY CARD-
Whoever invented the memory card must have known the potential of such devices to irritate people. Once upon a time, games would discretely save themselves within a cartridge, but with the memory card: that whole process can be interfered with. Simply wait until the console says 'Saving in progress. Do NOT remove memory card' and then remove the memory card. There's nothing quite as funny as a friend's face when they realise their months of efforts getting towards the end of Vice City, FFX and GT3 have been wiped from existence. If your conscience won't let you go that far (or you fear retalliation), then at least swap memory cards temporarily, and see how long you can string them along. "What, that took you 112 hours? I'm SO sorry, I don't know what could have happened."
*THE LAWYERS SAY: This could easily be regarded as vandalism/criminal damage.
-THE CONTROLLER-
Perhaps the most important tool in any gamer's box of game-tools. As such, it offers endless scope for jokeage. By messing around with someone's controller, you are messing around with their ability to play to a reasonable standard. Misaligned analogue sticks, marmalade laden buttons and 'loose-connections' are all order of the day here. But remember, contoller tricks have the fullest impact when playing for money and when used in conjunction with the phrase: ' a bad workman always blames his tools'.
*THE LAWYERS SAY: This would involve vandalism/criminal damage and would also constitute fraudulent behaviour. Unlicensed gambling is also inherently illegal. On a personal note, people will regard you as a 'big, fat, smelly cheat'.
-THE GAMES-
The fragile nature of today's disc based games just begs them to get scratched up. That, however, would portray a distinct lack of wit. Smashing up other peoples' games, no matter how amusing to you, will probably not be received in the jokey spirit it was intended. However, when it comes to box-swapping, hilarity will always prevail. Collect up all your mate's CDs, DVDs and games... then proceed to mix up all the boxes, placing Rod Stewart's Greatest Hits in the Splinter Cell Box, putting the Halo disc into the Shaving Ryan's Privates DVD box etc etc. If you are feeling particularly inspired, you could even trade someone else's entire collection of European PS2 games (not including the boxes!) for their NTSC counterparts. The victim will take a VERY long time in working out why none of their games work.
*THE LAWYERS SAY: The latter could be interpreted as theft/unlawful borrowing.
-THE CONSOLES-
You gotta be careful when sabotaging someone else's pride and joy, in the event of capture you might get footed with an unpleasantly large bill. Hence I don't suggest putting yoghurt in disc-drives or peanuts in the controller ports, that will just break them in a demonstrably obvious fashion. Instead here are some ideas to 'humour up' the big 3...
-PS2-
The Playstation 2 is getting on a bit now. Indeed, some of the earlier machines are beginning to tire, wheezing noisily as they churn antique copies of SSX. Simply switch on someone else's machine when you go to bed each night, and turn it off each morning. With any luck you'll be able to totally knacker out the machine so that it crashes every time someone plays it... and undertaken correctly, you won't ever get caught.
-XBOX-
The XBox's hard drive may give it the upper hand in technical debates, but it's also its weak point. Simply erase your friend's Music Library of rare 80's hip-hop and impossible to find rare groove 45's that he recorded off a mate who now lives in Peru. Then proceed to replace his/her jukebox menu of joy with 250 identical versions of the Chuckle-Brothers theme tune.
-GAMECUBE-
The Gamecube's diminutive stature and cutesy looks make the Nintendo machine appear most reminiscent of perfect buttocked Antipodean pop-songstress: Kylie Minogue. Simply dress the Cube in a short, spangly, silver mini-skirt and its owner won't recognise it. On returning to their home to try out their new copy of Metroid Prime they won't be able to find their machine, left only with what would appear to be a super-scale model of Kylie.
*THE LAWYERS SAY: You won't have any friends anymore.
[crack of thunder]
Mwuu ha ha ha haaa
; >
I'm sure my two flatmates are hugely appreciative of me not playing silly beggars today. What they forget is that I'm a hugely unreasonable individual: and I fully intend to undertake a number of unpleasant tricks in the next few days... 1st April or not. Mwu ha ha!
Seeing as this is the FOG forum, I thought I'd innocently suggest a few tricks to disrupt the 'future of gaming' for your friends and family. I take no responsibility in the event of any readers getting a thorough pasting from elder brothers etc having attempted such tomfoolery. I have also included a legal warning as a footnote to each, so, take note.
-THE MEMORY CARD-
Whoever invented the memory card must have known the potential of such devices to irritate people. Once upon a time, games would discretely save themselves within a cartridge, but with the memory card: that whole process can be interfered with. Simply wait until the console says 'Saving in progress. Do NOT remove memory card' and then remove the memory card. There's nothing quite as funny as a friend's face when they realise their months of efforts getting towards the end of Vice City, FFX and GT3 have been wiped from existence. If your conscience won't let you go that far (or you fear retalliation), then at least swap memory cards temporarily, and see how long you can string them along. "What, that took you 112 hours? I'm SO sorry, I don't know what could have happened."
*THE LAWYERS SAY: This could easily be regarded as vandalism/criminal damage.
-THE CONTROLLER-
Perhaps the most important tool in any gamer's box of game-tools. As such, it offers endless scope for jokeage. By messing around with someone's controller, you are messing around with their ability to play to a reasonable standard. Misaligned analogue sticks, marmalade laden buttons and 'loose-connections' are all order of the day here. But remember, contoller tricks have the fullest impact when playing for money and when used in conjunction with the phrase: ' a bad workman always blames his tools'.
*THE LAWYERS SAY: This would involve vandalism/criminal damage and would also constitute fraudulent behaviour. Unlicensed gambling is also inherently illegal. On a personal note, people will regard you as a 'big, fat, smelly cheat'.
-THE GAMES-
The fragile nature of today's disc based games just begs them to get scratched up. That, however, would portray a distinct lack of wit. Smashing up other peoples' games, no matter how amusing to you, will probably not be received in the jokey spirit it was intended. However, when it comes to box-swapping, hilarity will always prevail. Collect up all your mate's CDs, DVDs and games... then proceed to mix up all the boxes, placing Rod Stewart's Greatest Hits in the Splinter Cell Box, putting the Halo disc into the Shaving Ryan's Privates DVD box etc etc. If you are feeling particularly inspired, you could even trade someone else's entire collection of European PS2 games (not including the boxes!) for their NTSC counterparts. The victim will take a VERY long time in working out why none of their games work.
*THE LAWYERS SAY: The latter could be interpreted as theft/unlawful borrowing.
-THE CONSOLES-
You gotta be careful when sabotaging someone else's pride and joy, in the event of capture you might get footed with an unpleasantly large bill. Hence I don't suggest putting yoghurt in disc-drives or peanuts in the controller ports, that will just break them in a demonstrably obvious fashion. Instead here are some ideas to 'humour up' the big 3...
-PS2-
The Playstation 2 is getting on a bit now. Indeed, some of the earlier machines are beginning to tire, wheezing noisily as they churn antique copies of SSX. Simply switch on someone else's machine when you go to bed each night, and turn it off each morning. With any luck you'll be able to totally knacker out the machine so that it crashes every time someone plays it... and undertaken correctly, you won't ever get caught.
-XBOX-
The XBox's hard drive may give it the upper hand in technical debates, but it's also its weak point. Simply erase your friend's Music Library of rare 80's hip-hop and impossible to find rare groove 45's that he recorded off a mate who now lives in Peru. Then proceed to replace his/her jukebox menu of joy with 250 identical versions of the Chuckle-Brothers theme tune.
-GAMECUBE-
The Gamecube's diminutive stature and cutesy looks make the Nintendo machine appear most reminiscent of perfect buttocked Antipodean pop-songstress: Kylie Minogue. Simply dress the Cube in a short, spangly, silver mini-skirt and its owner won't recognise it. On returning to their home to try out their new copy of Metroid Prime they won't be able to find their machine, left only with what would appear to be a super-scale model of Kylie.
*THE LAWYERS SAY: You won't have any friends anymore.