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"If Santa was Bill Gates………………"

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Sat 01/12/01 at 17:05
Regular
Posts: 787
A terrible thought I know, but I mean what would happen if Bill Gates bought Christmas? Would he takeover the job as “Santa”?! As one of the richest men in the world this may not be far from the truth, as he seems to buy just about anything he can get his hands on.

If this catastrophe was to happen I suppose we would have to call him Santa Bill…….

I mean it would be the first Christmas where we would have to download a patch before we get our presents!

(Children under the age of 35 that DON’T already know that Santa isn’t real please stop reading from here on)

Ooooops!

*********************************************

First of all send your Christmas list off to Santa Bill, making sure you don’t mention Netscape or AOL

The email would probably look something like this, so just copy and paste the following and send it off to [email protected]

-------------- COPY AND PASTE --------------

Dear Santa Bill

I have been REALLY good this year. I have purchased my self the latest edition of Windows, which I am very pleased with. I am a lot older than last year so please can I have some better gifts this year please.

I really want a nice laptop, mobile phone, a football shirt etc etc……

Here are some more things I also want: A new PC, a remote controlled car, a DVD etc etc…….

And don’t forget to get me some sweets, chocolate, tangerine, money etc etc……

If you get time I wouldn’t mind an X-Box as well……. With a few games of course

My address is (Insert Address Here) don’t forget it because I don’t want some other kid getting my pressies.

I will leave you some nice cookies under the Christmas tree along with some spot cream. I doubt you will be using reindeers to get around but I’ll leave some carrots anyway.

Thanks a lot Santa Bill!

(Insert Name here)

-----

Copyright 2001/2002 – (Insert Name Here) – All Rights Reserved

-------------- COPY AND PASTE --------------

*********************************************

So you’ve sent off you Christmas list, now all you have to do is wait for the big day….

Santa Bill Checklist – Tick when completed

Things to do:

1. Surround chimney with barbed wire
2. Poison cookies then leave in appropriate position with note saying “Happy Christmas Santa Bill”
3. Empty bottle of super glue into spot cream tub and leave next to cookies
4. Switch computer on leaving your screensaver as “Die Microsoft, Die!”
5. Place a nine volt flat-head battery in the toilet, just incase! (If you know anything about electricity and water you’ll know how this one works!)

*********************************************

So you all know what to do if this disaster was to occur, but I wonder how good old Santa Bill would make all his toys?

The traditional Santa had his little elves helping out, but Bill would probably have some hi-tech robotic monkeys or something making the toys. They wouldn’t be “Santa’s LITTLE helpers” they’d be Santa’s BIG helpers, because Bill always has to have the biggest and the best going.

I doubt he’d use the old reindeers so Id guess he’d probably either use one of his 25 helicopters or maybe a Jet if he’s a bit behind with time.

*********************************************

I've probably worried you enough by now, so please try not to have nightmares about Santa Bill…..

Here’s a little picture I made just to finish this nice little topic off! :-D

http://www.geocities.com/dav1dthedude/bill.jpg

HO HO HO HO HO!!!

*********************************************

Thanks for Reading and Have a Merry Christmas!

Dav1d!
Sun 02/12/01 at 15:58
Regular
"Rong Xion Tong"
Posts: 5,237
Lol

That was very funny.

And it's nice to see somebody else likes the good old tangerine at Christmas. It wouldn't be the same on Christmas morning if there was no tangerine for you.

Great post. Well done.
Sun 02/12/01 at 09:51
Regular
"¬_¬"
Posts: 3,110
He'll be the Bill who stole christmas and all the naughty children will get viruses and all the good children will get bugged, pointless non-working versions of Microsoft Word!
Sun 02/12/01 at 00:04
Regular
Posts: 21,800
Dav1d wrote:

I mean it would be the first
> Christmas where we would have to download a patch before we get our
> presents!

Hehe aren't you the funny guy.

:P
Sat 01/12/01 at 23:38
Regular
"I'm not Orgazmo"
Posts: 9,159
Bill gates also has a magic key, well he's in most peoples homes already anyway.
Sat 01/12/01 at 23:21
Regular
Posts: 2,982
Yeah, Thanks for the comments Toad........
Sat 01/12/01 at 23:17
Posts: 0
Wow!! Thats a really amazingly good post! This is by far the best post I have ever seen in my entire time at SR! In fact, its even better than that! Give this man a GAD right now or I can safely say the system is flawed and biased! Now I have to go and lie down to get over the shock of seeing the most brilliant post ever done ever!

PS anyone want to tell me what its about? ;)
Sat 01/12/01 at 18:19
Regular
"Want a cd key.."
Posts: 3,443
Lol :o) Jets for reindeers (Urgh spelling) :o) Lol
Sat 01/12/01 at 17:53
Regular
"I dnt wnt a Tagline"
Posts: 104
LOL Nice Topic!

Just thinking of Bill Gates makes me feel sick, imagine if he was Santa!!! arghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

LOL
Sat 01/12/01 at 17:26
Regular
"Fat Red-Capped Vale"
Posts: 427
Dear Santa Bill

I have been REALLY good this year. I am intending to purchase my self the latest edition of Windows, which I am sure I will be very pleased with. I am a lot older than last year so please can I have some better gifts this year please.

I really want a nice computer, electric guitar etc etc

My address is (BLOCK) don’t forget it because I don’t want some other kid getting my pressies.

I will leave you some nice cookies under the Christmas tree along with some spot cream. I doubt you will be using reindeers to get around but I’ll leave some carrots anyway.

Thanks a lot Santa Bill!

(Firebalt)

-----

Copyright 2001/2002 – (Firebalt) – All Rights Reserved

Firebalt.
Sat 01/12/01 at 17:23
Posts: 0
i hope he wins GAD for this, that will show xbox fans that gates sux.

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