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I was chatting the other day in a thread with some fellow smeg heads when I realized that, (brace yourself now) some people don’t know what Red Dwarf is.
Can you believe it?
So for those sad deprived people who haven’t a clue about it, read, learn and enjoy!
The one key thing to remember is that it’s a tv si-fi comedy series set in the distant future, from the 2300’s to the 3000000… (How many o’s in 3 million past 2300?).
Red dwarf it self is a space ship the size of a city, with a massive computer portrayed as a bold 40 year old man who has an IQ of 6000. The postal address of the ship is apparently deep space, RE1 3DW. It contains some great wonders such as a driveroom, cinema, teaching room, parrots bar, cargo bay and a range of other things, which would take me all day to write out (and I may later, think of the word count, he he)
But anyway, here’s the basic story line…
Dave lister (the main character) was found in the 23 century in a cardboard box under a pool table of a Liverpool pub. Foster parents brought him up but his step farther died when he was 6. Lister was confused where his dad had disappeared to and when his grandmother said he had gone to the same place where his goldfish had gone.
After he was found with his head down the toilet reading the football results he was taken to a child psychologist.
From then on, Lister was brought up by his mum and grandmother, a tough old lady who did little to increase his educational prospect by nutting the headmaster when her grandson came last in the class at French. In fact lister was bottom in most subjects in school, for the simple fact that he was total unwilling to learn. After lister found out with the help from his friends that he hated working he decided to concentrate his life on just that, not working.
Surprisingly he got a job, at the age of 15 he became a trolley attendant at the local supermarket.
All the low wages he earned there, he spent on alcohol in his local, ‘the aigburth arms’.
This is what got him into the mess in the first place.
After celebrating his birthday with a monopoly-board pub-crawl around London, he came to in a burger bar on one of Saturn’s moons wearing a pink criplene hat and a pair of yellow fishing waders, with no money and a passport in the name of ‘Emily Berkenstien’.
Because he has nothing and needs to get back to earth he joins the space corps, and boards ‘red dwarf’, a mining ship bound for earth as a third technician (someone who makes shore the food machines doesn’t run out of chicken soup or crunchie bars). Unfortunately for Lister, it will take 41/2 years to reach earth.
After 5 months, when the crew stopped off for supplies on a moon called Miranda and Lister (using the last of his wages) brought a black longhaired cat called ‘Frankenstein’.
When the captain found this out Lister was given a choice. Hand over the cat and let it be killed and cut up to see if it had passed on any disease or be put in a statis both for the rest of the trip. (A statis both is a kind of pod which puts you in a kind of suspended animation where time stops in the booth making you not exist until the both is opened again)
He chose to be frozen.
But around 20 minutes later the cadmiun 2 core reached critical mass and unleashed a massive nuclear blast.
Everyone died except for Lister who was not really there (he was in the booth).
*Deep in the belly of red dwarf, safely sealed in the cargo hold, Frankenstein gave birth to 4 tiny kittens*
3 million years later when the nuclear reactivity had died down, holly let lister out of his booth.
He was 3 million years old with a body and mind of a 26 year old.
Over the years of loneliness, holly had gone slightly crazy and gained a personality, the cats had evolved into a human cat race which had had a holy war over coloured hats and flew off to find Fiji
Leaving one shallow cat/human behind.
And best of all, Rimmer (listens worst enemy, a pounces stupid man who was incharge of Lister’s shifts on red dwarf and bunk mate) was brought back to life as a living hologram. This was because Lister had spoke to Rimmer the most on the ship, the problem was Lister hated his guts.
So here we have a drunken slob who is the last man alive, a cat hybrid, a hologram of a stuck-up git and a computer with the sense of humour of a rotting haggis on a ship the size of a city, 3 million years from earth.
Interested now?
Well if Tv’s not your thing (if so, are you felling ok?) then there is also a wide range of fantastic books.
From ‘red dwarf the program guide’ which tells you about all the episodes and facts, to ‘red dwarf infinity welcomes careful drivers’ which turns the episodes into a complete story book which is nearly as hilarious as the tv programs.
So now there’s nothing stopping you from enjoying red dwarf.
Go out, have fun, and most of all… ...never trust a hologram.
This is talkie toaster signing off
Can you believe it?
So for those sad deprived people who haven’t a clue about it, read, learn and enjoy!
The one key thing to remember is that it’s a tv si-fi comedy series set in the distant future, from the 2300’s to the 3000000… (How many o’s in 3 million past 2300?).
Red dwarf it self is a space ship the size of a city, with a massive computer portrayed as a bold 40 year old man who has an IQ of 6000. The postal address of the ship is apparently deep space, RE1 3DW. It contains some great wonders such as a driveroom, cinema, teaching room, parrots bar, cargo bay and a range of other things, which would take me all day to write out (and I may later, think of the word count, he he)
But anyway, here’s the basic story line…
Dave lister (the main character) was found in the 23 century in a cardboard box under a pool table of a Liverpool pub. Foster parents brought him up but his step farther died when he was 6. Lister was confused where his dad had disappeared to and when his grandmother said he had gone to the same place where his goldfish had gone.
After he was found with his head down the toilet reading the football results he was taken to a child psychologist.
From then on, Lister was brought up by his mum and grandmother, a tough old lady who did little to increase his educational prospect by nutting the headmaster when her grandson came last in the class at French. In fact lister was bottom in most subjects in school, for the simple fact that he was total unwilling to learn. After lister found out with the help from his friends that he hated working he decided to concentrate his life on just that, not working.
Surprisingly he got a job, at the age of 15 he became a trolley attendant at the local supermarket.
All the low wages he earned there, he spent on alcohol in his local, ‘the aigburth arms’.
This is what got him into the mess in the first place.
After celebrating his birthday with a monopoly-board pub-crawl around London, he came to in a burger bar on one of Saturn’s moons wearing a pink criplene hat and a pair of yellow fishing waders, with no money and a passport in the name of ‘Emily Berkenstien’.
Because he has nothing and needs to get back to earth he joins the space corps, and boards ‘red dwarf’, a mining ship bound for earth as a third technician (someone who makes shore the food machines doesn’t run out of chicken soup or crunchie bars). Unfortunately for Lister, it will take 41/2 years to reach earth.
After 5 months, when the crew stopped off for supplies on a moon called Miranda and Lister (using the last of his wages) brought a black longhaired cat called ‘Frankenstein’.
When the captain found this out Lister was given a choice. Hand over the cat and let it be killed and cut up to see if it had passed on any disease or be put in a statis both for the rest of the trip. (A statis both is a kind of pod which puts you in a kind of suspended animation where time stops in the booth making you not exist until the both is opened again)
He chose to be frozen.
But around 20 minutes later the cadmiun 2 core reached critical mass and unleashed a massive nuclear blast.
Everyone died except for Lister who was not really there (he was in the booth).
*Deep in the belly of red dwarf, safely sealed in the cargo hold, Frankenstein gave birth to 4 tiny kittens*
3 million years later when the nuclear reactivity had died down, holly let lister out of his booth.
He was 3 million years old with a body and mind of a 26 year old.
Over the years of loneliness, holly had gone slightly crazy and gained a personality, the cats had evolved into a human cat race which had had a holy war over coloured hats and flew off to find Fiji
Leaving one shallow cat/human behind.
And best of all, Rimmer (listens worst enemy, a pounces stupid man who was incharge of Lister’s shifts on red dwarf and bunk mate) was brought back to life as a living hologram. This was because Lister had spoke to Rimmer the most on the ship, the problem was Lister hated his guts.
So here we have a drunken slob who is the last man alive, a cat hybrid, a hologram of a stuck-up git and a computer with the sense of humour of a rotting haggis on a ship the size of a city, 3 million years from earth.
Interested now?
Well if Tv’s not your thing (if so, are you felling ok?) then there is also a wide range of fantastic books.
From ‘red dwarf the program guide’ which tells you about all the episodes and facts, to ‘red dwarf infinity welcomes careful drivers’ which turns the episodes into a complete story book which is nearly as hilarious as the tv programs.
So now there’s nothing stopping you from enjoying red dwarf.
Go out, have fun, and most of all… ...never trust a hologram.
This is talkie toaster signing off
Page:
Some guy in my local paper was called David Lister.
Well I found it funny.
Well I found it funny.
Indeed. At least Hector got what he wanted.
"What's this?" *Puts down banana*
"It's a small off-duty Chequoslavakian traffic warden"
:-D
"What's this?" *Puts down banana*
"It's a small off-duty Chequoslavakian traffic warden"
:-D
RastaBillySkank wrote:
"Same old story, mechanoid meets
> mechanoid, mechanoid changes into blob, mechenoid loses blob, mechanoid wins
> blob back"
blob meets other blob and mechanoid loses blob again
"Same old story, mechanoid meets
> mechanoid, mechanoid changes into blob, mechenoid loses blob, mechanoid wins
> blob back"
blob meets other blob and mechanoid loses blob again
Talkie Toaster wrote:
> i E5A9O8B7 you special reserve.
if you do not understand that hes how you
> work it out...
utilising Z80012, using hex rather binary notationand
> converting to a basic ASII code.
not that hard when you know how.
Heh.
"Same old story, mechanoid meets mechanoid, mechanoid changes into blob, mechenoid loses blob, mechanoid wins blob back"
:D
> i E5A9O8B7 you special reserve.
if you do not understand that hes how you
> work it out...
utilising Z80012, using hex rather binary notationand
> converting to a basic ASII code.
not that hard when you know how.
Heh.
"Same old story, mechanoid meets mechanoid, mechanoid changes into blob, mechenoid loses blob, mechanoid wins blob back"
:D
i E5A9O8B7 you special reserve.
if you do not understand that hes how you work it out...
utilising Z80012, using hex rather binary notationand converting to a basic ASII code.
not that hard when you know how.
if you do not understand that hes how you work it out...
utilising Z80012, using hex rather binary notationand converting to a basic ASII code.
not that hard when you know how.
Starlight wrote:
> or was it rob?
Our Rob or Ross :D
Love that episode
> or was it rob?
Our Rob or Ross :D
Love that episode
RastaBillySkank wrote:
2Q4B
*ding* *ding* *ding*
we have a winner!
2Q4B
*ding* *ding* *ding*
we have a winner!
or was it rob?
our ron or ross
RastaBillySkank wrote:
>SQ4B
2Q4B sorry.
>SQ4B
2Q4B sorry.
Page: