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Here it is, my very own guide of how to be, just like me!
“I’ll just have a look at this quickly.”
Whenever you’re meant to be doing on job, never do it! You should always get distracted at the simplest of objects and then end up either playing games or watching TV. See, I’m actually meant to be tidying my room at the moment as we’ve got a party here tomorrow night and my room is going to be used as the buffet room. At this rate they’re gonna have to jump over the papers on the floor and dodge the pants hanging from the lights to get to the food!
“Sorry but I…”
When asked to hand in homework, never do it the night it is set. I’ve never done homework on the night it has been set, I always used to either do it the night/morning/lunchtime/lesson before it was meant to be handed in! If you can’t be bothered to hand it in, think up good excuses like, “I had a few problems with my work, could you help me” or, “I didn’t have the question page in my booklet,” when you clearly did and you actually ripped it out!
“Later!”
Never do today what will become someone else’s responsibility tomorrow. If you’re asked to do the washing up, just call, “later on” and carry on with your dosing. If you leave it long enough you’ll either get dragged out there or if you manage to get to bed before that, then someone else will do it.
“Oh but I did all this…”
Whenever asked to do a job, go through the great long list of the three other jobs that you have had to do all week. “I had to feed the dogs, and I had to dry up, and I had to make you a cup of tea.” Accuse them of being slave drivers and make them feel that they’re evil, no fun people. They’ll soon see your point and do it themselves.
“She’s done NOTHING!”
If you can’t be bothered, get the job dumped on someone else like a younger brother or sister with these key words, “I’ve done everything! [Insert name here] does nothing! Why can’t [Insert name here] do it for once?” Once you’ve shouted this at the top of your voice then you should just storm off while whoever you mentioned gets the lovely job of doing the work!
“Oh, ~this~ Tuesday.”
It always works, get the dates mixed up accidentally on purpose. Write them down wrong in your homework diary too just for that added piece of evidence when the teacher doesn’t believe you. Just note though, while the other excuses may work more than once you can only use this once or you’ll certainly be sussed out that you’re lying.
“I can’t take it!”
Too much work stresses people out so just crack once in a while to make it look to everyone that you’re under intense pressure with all of your work. Walk into a lesson with no work prepared and just act all stressed out as the teacher asks you to explain where your work is. If they don’t believe you start to get upset and if this still doesn’t work, there’s nothing that a faked faint can’t pull off!
If you follow these steps very carefully then you too can be a lazy dosser just like me! No hours of homework and housework every night and if you play it correctly, you’ll only get one detention from school from the RE teacher who susses out your dossyness out of your entire 7 years at school/sixth form!
“I’ll just have a look at this quickly.”
Whenever you’re meant to be doing on job, never do it! You should always get distracted at the simplest of objects and then end up either playing games or watching TV. See, I’m actually meant to be tidying my room at the moment as we’ve got a party here tomorrow night and my room is going to be used as the buffet room. At this rate they’re gonna have to jump over the papers on the floor and dodge the pants hanging from the lights to get to the food!
“Sorry but I…”
When asked to hand in homework, never do it the night it is set. I’ve never done homework on the night it has been set, I always used to either do it the night/morning/lunchtime/lesson before it was meant to be handed in! If you can’t be bothered to hand it in, think up good excuses like, “I had a few problems with my work, could you help me” or, “I didn’t have the question page in my booklet,” when you clearly did and you actually ripped it out!
“Later!”
Never do today what will become someone else’s responsibility tomorrow. If you’re asked to do the washing up, just call, “later on” and carry on with your dosing. If you leave it long enough you’ll either get dragged out there or if you manage to get to bed before that, then someone else will do it.
“Oh but I did all this…”
Whenever asked to do a job, go through the great long list of the three other jobs that you have had to do all week. “I had to feed the dogs, and I had to dry up, and I had to make you a cup of tea.” Accuse them of being slave drivers and make them feel that they’re evil, no fun people. They’ll soon see your point and do it themselves.
“She’s done NOTHING!”
If you can’t be bothered, get the job dumped on someone else like a younger brother or sister with these key words, “I’ve done everything! [Insert name here] does nothing! Why can’t [Insert name here] do it for once?” Once you’ve shouted this at the top of your voice then you should just storm off while whoever you mentioned gets the lovely job of doing the work!
“Oh, ~this~ Tuesday.”
It always works, get the dates mixed up accidentally on purpose. Write them down wrong in your homework diary too just for that added piece of evidence when the teacher doesn’t believe you. Just note though, while the other excuses may work more than once you can only use this once or you’ll certainly be sussed out that you’re lying.
“I can’t take it!”
Too much work stresses people out so just crack once in a while to make it look to everyone that you’re under intense pressure with all of your work. Walk into a lesson with no work prepared and just act all stressed out as the teacher asks you to explain where your work is. If they don’t believe you start to get upset and if this still doesn’t work, there’s nothing that a faked faint can’t pull off!
If you follow these steps very carefully then you too can be a lazy dosser just like me! No hours of homework and housework every night and if you play it correctly, you’ll only get one detention from school from the RE teacher who susses out your dossyness out of your entire 7 years at school/sixth form!
Did you use my Guide to Guides in making this? I sure hope so.
You mis-spelled in the titled - you put a 'd' where a 't' should be...
Heh, 'tis a funny one.
once i put my xbox, dreamcast, pc and tv all around my bed so that i didnt have to get up the next day...
But i got bored after about an hour and got up and had to put everything back...
But a good post though, enjoyed reading it...
But i got bored after about an hour and got up and had to put everything back...
But a good post though, enjoyed reading it...
"I'm in the middle of something right now..."
No matter what you're doing, make it out to be extremely important and you must continue, and that you'll do whatever it is after this has finished. After this important event has passed, another one will almost immediately pop up, postponing your duties further.
It's the more advanced version of "LATER!"
No matter what you're doing, make it out to be extremely important and you must continue, and that you'll do whatever it is after this has finished. After this important event has passed, another one will almost immediately pop up, postponing your duties further.
It's the more advanced version of "LATER!"
Here it is, my very own guide of how to be, just like me!
“I’ll just have a look at this quickly.”
Whenever you’re meant to be doing on job, never do it! You should always get distracted at the simplest of objects and then end up either playing games or watching TV. See, I’m actually meant to be tidying my room at the moment as we’ve got a party here tomorrow night and my room is going to be used as the buffet room. At this rate they’re gonna have to jump over the papers on the floor and dodge the pants hanging from the lights to get to the food!
“Sorry but I…”
When asked to hand in homework, never do it the night it is set. I’ve never done homework on the night it has been set, I always used to either do it the night/morning/lunchtime/lesson before it was meant to be handed in! If you can’t be bothered to hand it in, think up good excuses like, “I had a few problems with my work, could you help me” or, “I didn’t have the question page in my booklet,” when you clearly did and you actually ripped it out!
“Later!”
Never do today what will become someone else’s responsibility tomorrow. If you’re asked to do the washing up, just call, “later on” and carry on with your dosing. If you leave it long enough you’ll either get dragged out there or if you manage to get to bed before that, then someone else will do it.
“Oh but I did all this…”
Whenever asked to do a job, go through the great long list of the three other jobs that you have had to do all week. “I had to feed the dogs, and I had to dry up, and I had to make you a cup of tea.” Accuse them of being slave drivers and make them feel that they’re evil, no fun people. They’ll soon see your point and do it themselves.
“She’s done NOTHING!”
If you can’t be bothered, get the job dumped on someone else like a younger brother or sister with these key words, “I’ve done everything! [Insert name here] does nothing! Why can’t [Insert name here] do it for once?” Once you’ve shouted this at the top of your voice then you should just storm off while whoever you mentioned gets the lovely job of doing the work!
“Oh, ~this~ Tuesday.”
It always works, get the dates mixed up accidentally on purpose. Write them down wrong in your homework diary too just for that added piece of evidence when the teacher doesn’t believe you. Just note though, while the other excuses may work more than once you can only use this once or you’ll certainly be sussed out that you’re lying.
“I can’t take it!”
Too much work stresses people out so just crack once in a while to make it look to everyone that you’re under intense pressure with all of your work. Walk into a lesson with no work prepared and just act all stressed out as the teacher asks you to explain where your work is. If they don’t believe you start to get upset and if this still doesn’t work, there’s nothing that a faked faint can’t pull off!
If you follow these steps very carefully then you too can be a lazy dosser just like me! No hours of homework and housework every night and if you play it correctly, you’ll only get one detention from school from the RE teacher who susses out your dossyness out of your entire 7 years at school/sixth form!
“I’ll just have a look at this quickly.”
Whenever you’re meant to be doing on job, never do it! You should always get distracted at the simplest of objects and then end up either playing games or watching TV. See, I’m actually meant to be tidying my room at the moment as we’ve got a party here tomorrow night and my room is going to be used as the buffet room. At this rate they’re gonna have to jump over the papers on the floor and dodge the pants hanging from the lights to get to the food!
“Sorry but I…”
When asked to hand in homework, never do it the night it is set. I’ve never done homework on the night it has been set, I always used to either do it the night/morning/lunchtime/lesson before it was meant to be handed in! If you can’t be bothered to hand it in, think up good excuses like, “I had a few problems with my work, could you help me” or, “I didn’t have the question page in my booklet,” when you clearly did and you actually ripped it out!
“Later!”
Never do today what will become someone else’s responsibility tomorrow. If you’re asked to do the washing up, just call, “later on” and carry on with your dosing. If you leave it long enough you’ll either get dragged out there or if you manage to get to bed before that, then someone else will do it.
“Oh but I did all this…”
Whenever asked to do a job, go through the great long list of the three other jobs that you have had to do all week. “I had to feed the dogs, and I had to dry up, and I had to make you a cup of tea.” Accuse them of being slave drivers and make them feel that they’re evil, no fun people. They’ll soon see your point and do it themselves.
“She’s done NOTHING!”
If you can’t be bothered, get the job dumped on someone else like a younger brother or sister with these key words, “I’ve done everything! [Insert name here] does nothing! Why can’t [Insert name here] do it for once?” Once you’ve shouted this at the top of your voice then you should just storm off while whoever you mentioned gets the lovely job of doing the work!
“Oh, ~this~ Tuesday.”
It always works, get the dates mixed up accidentally on purpose. Write them down wrong in your homework diary too just for that added piece of evidence when the teacher doesn’t believe you. Just note though, while the other excuses may work more than once you can only use this once or you’ll certainly be sussed out that you’re lying.
“I can’t take it!”
Too much work stresses people out so just crack once in a while to make it look to everyone that you’re under intense pressure with all of your work. Walk into a lesson with no work prepared and just act all stressed out as the teacher asks you to explain where your work is. If they don’t believe you start to get upset and if this still doesn’t work, there’s nothing that a faked faint can’t pull off!
If you follow these steps very carefully then you too can be a lazy dosser just like me! No hours of homework and housework every night and if you play it correctly, you’ll only get one detention from school from the RE teacher who susses out your dossyness out of your entire 7 years at school/sixth form!