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Must… squeeze… one… more… out…
Woah! Buzz Words!!! Aren’t they great, everybody loves them. Drop a few into conversation at vaguely relevant points and you’ll seem to be an expert on what you’re talking about. Girls will love you!
OLD SKOOL
Isometric
They said: Just like 3D! Am I watching the TV or playing a computer game?!?!
You said: Ermm… all those wires and triangles are freaking me out…
D-Pad
They said: Forget those unwieldy analogue joysticks; digital is where it’s at. Precise control over eight planes of movement and a teeny, stylish controller.
You said: Man, I’m just happy to have 4 different colours on screen at one time.
X-bit
They said: Now 32-bit. That’s twice as good as 16-bit, simple maths.
You said: Isn’t the bit rate of a processor almost totally irrelevant? Barely even a noteworthy variable when talking about just a processor let alone the whole system.
Point-and-Click
They said: Look at those graphics! It’s just like a cartoon, but you’re in control. Solve those crazy puzzles!
You said: Hmmmm… so I was supposed to figure out that the piece of torn cloth I got by dong the crazy dance an hour ago could be combined with the old chewing gum found in the dead zombie’s mouth and used as a deadly weapon to kill the rampaging sheep by attacking his weak spot – the left shoulder. Right…
Game & Watch
They said: Gaming wherever you go! Top quality Nintendo titles shrunk down and squeezed into your pocket, inferior imitations also available.
You said: THIS SUCKS. Four colour, twenty pixel games may be the then-current cutting edge, but THIS SUCKS. Even with nostalgia value. And pocket sized? They’re huge, and the stupid watch batteries only last for ten minutes. However, clam shell design currently back in fashion and these things earn well among collectors.
MODERN
MMORPG
They said: The future of gaming baby! You can roam about huge worlds and talk to all sorts of interesting foreigners. Not like Dungeons and Dragons at all.
You said: Hmmm…. Let’s try this out.
Right, get to know someone to show me the ropes. Yeah, co-operative gaming, that’s where it’s at.
YOU: Hey K00L DUDE094285. Do you play this much?
K00LDUDE094285: I R0X0R5 AND L337
YOU: Huh?
K00L DUDE094285: N003
YOU: What?
K00L DUDE094285: LMAO
YOU: Do you speak English?
K00L DUDE094285: ROFL LAM3R
Analogue
They said: Especially designed for 3D gaming. A precise control system so you can control your character freely in his amazing real-world environment. What a step forward.
You said: Isn’t this what we used in the 80s?
Industry
They said: We’re bigger than the movies, that means we’re great. Oh, and if you say “the industry” a lot you are obviously cool and probably know all sorts of amazing insider information.
You said: Industry? Pah, who cares, just give me some games to play rather than worrying about balance sheets and cash flow problems.
Cell-Shading
They said: Look! Games really are art, how stylish are we?
You said:
Here, this actually looks quite cool, and the game is great!
Bored.
Rumble Pak
They said: It’s like being in the game! Feel the action, take the knocks and bumps, ride the explosions! Careful, the house might fall down!
You said: Right, my controller weights more than I do now and that buzzing is getting pretty annoying.
Emotion Engine
They said: PS2 is soooooo powerful it’ll make you go crazy, like, you are in the game man. Fantastic stories will make you cry and stuff. Buy buy buy.
You said: FRUSTRATED! Was that one of the emotions? Confused at how Metal Gear Solid was changed into a below par B-movie? Disappointed by the poor FFX? Annoyed that the on-line capabilities and hard drive promised still aren’t getting anywhere?
AI
They said: It’s like the game is really thinking. Who needs friends when the in-game combatants are this good!
You said: So it’s not just a really poor Spielberg film? Oh, and AI is almost 100% due to elegant code that has little to do with processor grunt. Plus, I know real people.
Convergence
They said: Your console will be the centre of your house – controlling all the electronics and doing… ermmm… stuff. Look, just buy it.
You said: Why do I want my XBox to talk to the fridge? Warn it that I’m pausing the game so get prepared for me to maybe come and grab a drink?
Retro
They said: Retro is where it’s at – all those cool old games where they cared about substance over style. Modern games don’t hold a candle to them.
You said: RUBBISH. You either didn’t weren’t around in the early nineties (or earlier) or you are sporting some pinkish eye-wear. Very occasionally a title will stand up to the test of time, more often than not you’ll sit in silent contemplation wondering how this trash kept you entertained for so long.
Gameplay
They said: This game has great GAMEPLAY. So innovative, lots of GAMEPLAY. Really, the GAMEPLAY is good. GAMEPLAY is important.
You said: Ermmm… that’s not a very descriptive word really is it. What actually happens?
Hardcore/Casual
They said: Casual lamers, they ruin it for everybody by… ermmm… existing. They buy all the wrong games.
You said: WHO CARES!?!?! I love it that developers can pump millions into developing a game because there is a possibility that more than four people may actually buy them. If they get fun out of Football-Girl-in-Tight-Pants-Celebrity-Tie-In 19 who am I to tell them they are wrong and should be playing Obscure-Japanese-Title- People-Like-Because-It-Makes-Them-Cool.
Plot
They said: Games, good aren’t they? What are they missing? Plots, keep them interested to keep them playing.
You said: Ermmm… do I get to do something now? If I wanted to watch a movie I got lots of DVDs that need watching.
Woah! Buzz Words!!! Aren’t they great, everybody loves them. Drop a few into conversation at vaguely relevant points and you’ll seem to be an expert on what you’re talking about. Girls will love you!
OLD SKOOL
Isometric
They said: Just like 3D! Am I watching the TV or playing a computer game?!?!
You said: Ermm… all those wires and triangles are freaking me out…
D-Pad
They said: Forget those unwieldy analogue joysticks; digital is where it’s at. Precise control over eight planes of movement and a teeny, stylish controller.
You said: Man, I’m just happy to have 4 different colours on screen at one time.
X-bit
They said: Now 32-bit. That’s twice as good as 16-bit, simple maths.
You said: Isn’t the bit rate of a processor almost totally irrelevant? Barely even a noteworthy variable when talking about just a processor let alone the whole system.
Point-and-Click
They said: Look at those graphics! It’s just like a cartoon, but you’re in control. Solve those crazy puzzles!
You said: Hmmmm… so I was supposed to figure out that the piece of torn cloth I got by dong the crazy dance an hour ago could be combined with the old chewing gum found in the dead zombie’s mouth and used as a deadly weapon to kill the rampaging sheep by attacking his weak spot – the left shoulder. Right…
Game & Watch
They said: Gaming wherever you go! Top quality Nintendo titles shrunk down and squeezed into your pocket, inferior imitations also available.
You said: THIS SUCKS. Four colour, twenty pixel games may be the then-current cutting edge, but THIS SUCKS. Even with nostalgia value. And pocket sized? They’re huge, and the stupid watch batteries only last for ten minutes. However, clam shell design currently back in fashion and these things earn well among collectors.
MODERN
MMORPG
They said: The future of gaming baby! You can roam about huge worlds and talk to all sorts of interesting foreigners. Not like Dungeons and Dragons at all.
You said: Hmmm…. Let’s try this out.
Right, get to know someone to show me the ropes. Yeah, co-operative gaming, that’s where it’s at.
YOU: Hey K00L DUDE094285. Do you play this much?
K00LDUDE094285: I R0X0R5 AND L337
YOU: Huh?
K00L DUDE094285: N003
YOU: What?
K00L DUDE094285: LMAO
YOU: Do you speak English?
K00L DUDE094285: ROFL LAM3R
Analogue
They said: Especially designed for 3D gaming. A precise control system so you can control your character freely in his amazing real-world environment. What a step forward.
You said: Isn’t this what we used in the 80s?
Industry
They said: We’re bigger than the movies, that means we’re great. Oh, and if you say “the industry” a lot you are obviously cool and probably know all sorts of amazing insider information.
You said: Industry? Pah, who cares, just give me some games to play rather than worrying about balance sheets and cash flow problems.
Cell-Shading
They said: Look! Games really are art, how stylish are we?
You said:
Here, this actually looks quite cool, and the game is great!
Bored.
Rumble Pak
They said: It’s like being in the game! Feel the action, take the knocks and bumps, ride the explosions! Careful, the house might fall down!
You said: Right, my controller weights more than I do now and that buzzing is getting pretty annoying.
Emotion Engine
They said: PS2 is soooooo powerful it’ll make you go crazy, like, you are in the game man. Fantastic stories will make you cry and stuff. Buy buy buy.
You said: FRUSTRATED! Was that one of the emotions? Confused at how Metal Gear Solid was changed into a below par B-movie? Disappointed by the poor FFX? Annoyed that the on-line capabilities and hard drive promised still aren’t getting anywhere?
AI
They said: It’s like the game is really thinking. Who needs friends when the in-game combatants are this good!
You said: So it’s not just a really poor Spielberg film? Oh, and AI is almost 100% due to elegant code that has little to do with processor grunt. Plus, I know real people.
Convergence
They said: Your console will be the centre of your house – controlling all the electronics and doing… ermmm… stuff. Look, just buy it.
You said: Why do I want my XBox to talk to the fridge? Warn it that I’m pausing the game so get prepared for me to maybe come and grab a drink?
Retro
They said: Retro is where it’s at – all those cool old games where they cared about substance over style. Modern games don’t hold a candle to them.
You said: RUBBISH. You either didn’t weren’t around in the early nineties (or earlier) or you are sporting some pinkish eye-wear. Very occasionally a title will stand up to the test of time, more often than not you’ll sit in silent contemplation wondering how this trash kept you entertained for so long.
Gameplay
They said: This game has great GAMEPLAY. So innovative, lots of GAMEPLAY. Really, the GAMEPLAY is good. GAMEPLAY is important.
You said: Ermmm… that’s not a very descriptive word really is it. What actually happens?
Hardcore/Casual
They said: Casual lamers, they ruin it for everybody by… ermmm… existing. They buy all the wrong games.
You said: WHO CARES!?!?! I love it that developers can pump millions into developing a game because there is a possibility that more than four people may actually buy them. If they get fun out of Football-Girl-in-Tight-Pants-Celebrity-Tie-In 19 who am I to tell them they are wrong and should be playing Obscure-Japanese-Title- People-Like-Because-It-Makes-Them-Cool.
Plot
They said: Games, good aren’t they? What are they missing? Plots, keep them interested to keep them playing.
You said:
That was good.
I hated the rumble pak, although I liked the extra weight.
I hated the rumble pak, although I liked the extra weight.
Killer Nightmare wrote:
> one last attempt to win gameaday...
You bet! Totally unashamed, there's a prize offered and I'm going to play the game - if there's one thing I like more than games it's free games. Just hope it's at lesat a vaguely interesting post rather than a 10,000 word rant about "the industry".
Also passed the time durring a dull night of TV. Come on, how can your team win 4-0 yet still have taken part in an uninspiring game? Never thought it would happen, but tonight it did.
> one last attempt to win gameaday...
You bet! Totally unashamed, there's a prize offered and I'm going to play the game - if there's one thing I like more than games it's free games. Just hope it's at lesat a vaguely interesting post rather than a 10,000 word rant about "the industry".
Also passed the time durring a dull night of TV. Come on, how can your team win 4-0 yet still have taken part in an uninspiring game? Never thought it would happen, but tonight it did.
:D I liked that very much.
Well played
Well played
Girls will love you for that?!
Damn it! THATS where I've been wrong.
:P
Damn it! THATS where I've been wrong.
:P
one last attempt to win gameaday...
Must… squeeze… one… more… out…
Woah! Buzz Words!!! Aren’t they great, everybody loves them. Drop a few into conversation at vaguely relevant points and you’ll seem to be an expert on what you’re talking about. Girls will love you!
OLD SKOOL
Isometric
They said: Just like 3D! Am I watching the TV or playing a computer game?!?!
You said: Ermm… all those wires and triangles are freaking me out…
D-Pad
They said: Forget those unwieldy analogue joysticks; digital is where it’s at. Precise control over eight planes of movement and a teeny, stylish controller.
You said: Man, I’m just happy to have 4 different colours on screen at one time.
X-bit
They said: Now 32-bit. That’s twice as good as 16-bit, simple maths.
You said: Isn’t the bit rate of a processor almost totally irrelevant? Barely even a noteworthy variable when talking about just a processor let alone the whole system.
Point-and-Click
They said: Look at those graphics! It’s just like a cartoon, but you’re in control. Solve those crazy puzzles!
You said: Hmmmm… so I was supposed to figure out that the piece of torn cloth I got by dong the crazy dance an hour ago could be combined with the old chewing gum found in the dead zombie’s mouth and used as a deadly weapon to kill the rampaging sheep by attacking his weak spot – the left shoulder. Right…
Game & Watch
They said: Gaming wherever you go! Top quality Nintendo titles shrunk down and squeezed into your pocket, inferior imitations also available.
You said: THIS SUCKS. Four colour, twenty pixel games may be the then-current cutting edge, but THIS SUCKS. Even with nostalgia value. And pocket sized? They’re huge, and the stupid watch batteries only last for ten minutes. However, clam shell design currently back in fashion and these things earn well among collectors.
MODERN
MMORPG
They said: The future of gaming baby! You can roam about huge worlds and talk to all sorts of interesting foreigners. Not like Dungeons and Dragons at all.
You said: Hmmm…. Let’s try this out.
Right, get to know someone to show me the ropes. Yeah, co-operative gaming, that’s where it’s at.
YOU: Hey K00L DUDE094285. Do you play this much?
K00LDUDE094285: I R0X0R5 AND L337
YOU: Huh?
K00L DUDE094285: N003
YOU: What?
K00L DUDE094285: LMAO
YOU: Do you speak English?
K00L DUDE094285: ROFL LAM3R
Analogue
They said: Especially designed for 3D gaming. A precise control system so you can control your character freely in his amazing real-world environment. What a step forward.
You said: Isn’t this what we used in the 80s?
Industry
They said: We’re bigger than the movies, that means we’re great. Oh, and if you say “the industry” a lot you are obviously cool and probably know all sorts of amazing insider information.
You said: Industry? Pah, who cares, just give me some games to play rather than worrying about balance sheets and cash flow problems.
Cell-Shading
They said: Look! Games really are art, how stylish are we?
You said:
Here, this actually looks quite cool, and the game is great!
Bored.
Rumble Pak
They said: It’s like being in the game! Feel the action, take the knocks and bumps, ride the explosions! Careful, the house might fall down!
You said: Right, my controller weights more than I do now and that buzzing is getting pretty annoying.
Emotion Engine
They said: PS2 is soooooo powerful it’ll make you go crazy, like, you are in the game man. Fantastic stories will make you cry and stuff. Buy buy buy.
You said: FRUSTRATED! Was that one of the emotions? Confused at how Metal Gear Solid was changed into a below par B-movie? Disappointed by the poor FFX? Annoyed that the on-line capabilities and hard drive promised still aren’t getting anywhere?
AI
They said: It’s like the game is really thinking. Who needs friends when the in-game combatants are this good!
You said: So it’s not just a really poor Spielberg film? Oh, and AI is almost 100% due to elegant code that has little to do with processor grunt. Plus, I know real people.
Convergence
They said: Your console will be the centre of your house – controlling all the electronics and doing… ermmm… stuff. Look, just buy it.
You said: Why do I want my XBox to talk to the fridge? Warn it that I’m pausing the game so get prepared for me to maybe come and grab a drink?
Retro
They said: Retro is where it’s at – all those cool old games where they cared about substance over style. Modern games don’t hold a candle to them.
You said: RUBBISH. You either didn’t weren’t around in the early nineties (or earlier) or you are sporting some pinkish eye-wear. Very occasionally a title will stand up to the test of time, more often than not you’ll sit in silent contemplation wondering how this trash kept you entertained for so long.
Gameplay
They said: This game has great GAMEPLAY. So innovative, lots of GAMEPLAY. Really, the GAMEPLAY is good. GAMEPLAY is important.
You said: Ermmm… that’s not a very descriptive word really is it. What actually happens?
Hardcore/Casual
They said: Casual lamers, they ruin it for everybody by… ermmm… existing. They buy all the wrong games.
You said: WHO CARES!?!?! I love it that developers can pump millions into developing a game because there is a possibility that more than four people may actually buy them. If they get fun out of Football-Girl-in-Tight-Pants-Celebrity-Tie-In 19 who am I to tell them they are wrong and should be playing Obscure-Japanese-Title- People-Like-Because-It-Makes-Them-Cool.
Plot
They said: Games, good aren’t they? What are they missing? Plots, keep them interested to keep them playing.
You said: Ermmm… do I get to do something now? If I wanted to watch a movie I got lots of DVDs that need watching.
Woah! Buzz Words!!! Aren’t they great, everybody loves them. Drop a few into conversation at vaguely relevant points and you’ll seem to be an expert on what you’re talking about. Girls will love you!
OLD SKOOL
Isometric
They said: Just like 3D! Am I watching the TV or playing a computer game?!?!
You said: Ermm… all those wires and triangles are freaking me out…
D-Pad
They said: Forget those unwieldy analogue joysticks; digital is where it’s at. Precise control over eight planes of movement and a teeny, stylish controller.
You said: Man, I’m just happy to have 4 different colours on screen at one time.
X-bit
They said: Now 32-bit. That’s twice as good as 16-bit, simple maths.
You said: Isn’t the bit rate of a processor almost totally irrelevant? Barely even a noteworthy variable when talking about just a processor let alone the whole system.
Point-and-Click
They said: Look at those graphics! It’s just like a cartoon, but you’re in control. Solve those crazy puzzles!
You said: Hmmmm… so I was supposed to figure out that the piece of torn cloth I got by dong the crazy dance an hour ago could be combined with the old chewing gum found in the dead zombie’s mouth and used as a deadly weapon to kill the rampaging sheep by attacking his weak spot – the left shoulder. Right…
Game & Watch
They said: Gaming wherever you go! Top quality Nintendo titles shrunk down and squeezed into your pocket, inferior imitations also available.
You said: THIS SUCKS. Four colour, twenty pixel games may be the then-current cutting edge, but THIS SUCKS. Even with nostalgia value. And pocket sized? They’re huge, and the stupid watch batteries only last for ten minutes. However, clam shell design currently back in fashion and these things earn well among collectors.
MODERN
MMORPG
They said: The future of gaming baby! You can roam about huge worlds and talk to all sorts of interesting foreigners. Not like Dungeons and Dragons at all.
You said: Hmmm…. Let’s try this out.
Right, get to know someone to show me the ropes. Yeah, co-operative gaming, that’s where it’s at.
YOU: Hey K00L DUDE094285. Do you play this much?
K00LDUDE094285: I R0X0R5 AND L337
YOU: Huh?
K00L DUDE094285: N003
YOU: What?
K00L DUDE094285: LMAO
YOU: Do you speak English?
K00L DUDE094285: ROFL LAM3R
Analogue
They said: Especially designed for 3D gaming. A precise control system so you can control your character freely in his amazing real-world environment. What a step forward.
You said: Isn’t this what we used in the 80s?
Industry
They said: We’re bigger than the movies, that means we’re great. Oh, and if you say “the industry” a lot you are obviously cool and probably know all sorts of amazing insider information.
You said: Industry? Pah, who cares, just give me some games to play rather than worrying about balance sheets and cash flow problems.
Cell-Shading
They said: Look! Games really are art, how stylish are we?
You said:
Here, this actually looks quite cool, and the game is great!
Bored.
Rumble Pak
They said: It’s like being in the game! Feel the action, take the knocks and bumps, ride the explosions! Careful, the house might fall down!
You said: Right, my controller weights more than I do now and that buzzing is getting pretty annoying.
Emotion Engine
They said: PS2 is soooooo powerful it’ll make you go crazy, like, you are in the game man. Fantastic stories will make you cry and stuff. Buy buy buy.
You said: FRUSTRATED! Was that one of the emotions? Confused at how Metal Gear Solid was changed into a below par B-movie? Disappointed by the poor FFX? Annoyed that the on-line capabilities and hard drive promised still aren’t getting anywhere?
AI
They said: It’s like the game is really thinking. Who needs friends when the in-game combatants are this good!
You said: So it’s not just a really poor Spielberg film? Oh, and AI is almost 100% due to elegant code that has little to do with processor grunt. Plus, I know real people.
Convergence
They said: Your console will be the centre of your house – controlling all the electronics and doing… ermmm… stuff. Look, just buy it.
You said: Why do I want my XBox to talk to the fridge? Warn it that I’m pausing the game so get prepared for me to maybe come and grab a drink?
Retro
They said: Retro is where it’s at – all those cool old games where they cared about substance over style. Modern games don’t hold a candle to them.
You said: RUBBISH. You either didn’t weren’t around in the early nineties (or earlier) or you are sporting some pinkish eye-wear. Very occasionally a title will stand up to the test of time, more often than not you’ll sit in silent contemplation wondering how this trash kept you entertained for so long.
Gameplay
They said: This game has great GAMEPLAY. So innovative, lots of GAMEPLAY. Really, the GAMEPLAY is good. GAMEPLAY is important.
You said: Ermmm… that’s not a very descriptive word really is it. What actually happens?
Hardcore/Casual
They said: Casual lamers, they ruin it for everybody by… ermmm… existing. They buy all the wrong games.
You said: WHO CARES!?!?! I love it that developers can pump millions into developing a game because there is a possibility that more than four people may actually buy them. If they get fun out of Football-Girl-in-Tight-Pants-Celebrity-Tie-In 19 who am I to tell them they are wrong and should be playing Obscure-Japanese-Title- People-Like-Because-It-Makes-Them-Cool.
Plot
They said: Games, good aren’t they? What are they missing? Plots, keep them interested to keep them playing.
You said: