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In a rather unsurprising move that was only a matter of time, a man in America is soon to make legal history by suing Japanese gaming giants Nintendo for what he claims as being “the cause of his wasted life”.
The legal action began when jobless 36-year-old George Taylor from West Virginia was given a stark telling-off from his frustrated parents about how often he played video games and not socialising with human beings.
As the middle-aged gamer explains, “As I was sitting in my dark and lonely room evaluating my life one night, I suddenly came to the realisation that I’ve spent a vast time on this planet playing addictive Nintendo video games. I could have been out indulging in sex, drugs, rock & roll and bungee jumping instead of guiding a fat plumber around Happy Happy Land or an elf around a forest, and that made me angry…angry and tired. It therefore only seemed right that the cause of my problem, Nintendo, be sued for millions of Dollars.”
The immature man later added, “Since getting ‘Metroid Prime’ and ‘The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker’ I’ve hardly stepped out of the house and haven’t even shaved. It’s all their fault. If they didn’t make those games so darn addictive then people like me would be able to live normal lives instead of inhabiting virtual lives in Nintendo video games. It’s like I’m in some kind of a prison.”
The unprecedented legal proceedings could have serious ramifications for Nintendo, as it is believed that should Mr. Taylor win the case, it will open the floodgates for thousands of other older gamers, who’ve also wasted their lives playing Nintendo games, to crawl out of the woodwork and take similar legal action.
Mr. Taylor’s slimy lawyer, Julius Benedict, said, “I think this case may cause many older gamers to re-evaluate their hollow dingy lives and realise who they are and where they’ve been. Nintendo have made their games hyper addictive, encouraged gamers to play them and get addicted, and ruin their lives because they can’t tear themselves away from them. In fact, their games are just like cigarettes, except they don’t kill…or do they?”
A statement from Nintendo concerning the impending legal threat read, “We admit that Nintendo are only guilty of one harmless crime: making great games (oh, that and a little bit of price fixing). We apologise outright to those who have missed out on real life over the past decade or so by being addicted to these games, but nobody at Nintendo ever forced any person to play our games at gunpoint, apart from a few experimental cases as to how well gamers played and coped with pressure when a gun was held to their head.”
The statement also took a bitter swipe at the compensation culture plaguing the United States, claiming that “millions of Japanese citizens happily waste their lives playing video games but yet don’t fell the need to sue”.
This is not the first time Nintendo games have been in the spotlight for their addictive nature. Six years ago a team of well-funded researchers from California State University drew comparisons between the addictiveness of Nintendo video games to the addictiveness of class-A drugs, cigarettes and chocolate. This led to many calls to ban video games, but the research was laughed at by most sensible people.
No matter the outcome, this new legal action comes as a another blow to Nintendo’s family friendly image, as the company have only just recovered from previous court action, where a mob of angry parents sued the company because Pokemon had taught poor life lessons. They believed the games had hypnotised children into thinking they too could catch innocent creatures and force them to fight, leading to many injured and crippled family pets.
The case was settled out of court when Nintendo agreed to pay the vets bills for all the affected animals and therapy costs for the crazy kids.
On a similar note, if this case in America proves successful for Mr. Taylor, it’s expected that thousands of Championship Manager fans will take similar action against developers Sports Interactive and publishers Eidos for wasting their lives in a virtual world.
The legal action began when jobless 36-year-old George Taylor from West Virginia was given a stark telling-off from his frustrated parents about how often he played video games and not socialising with human beings.
As the middle-aged gamer explains, “As I was sitting in my dark and lonely room evaluating my life one night, I suddenly came to the realisation that I’ve spent a vast time on this planet playing addictive Nintendo video games. I could have been out indulging in sex, drugs, rock & roll and bungee jumping instead of guiding a fat plumber around Happy Happy Land or an elf around a forest, and that made me angry…angry and tired. It therefore only seemed right that the cause of my problem, Nintendo, be sued for millions of Dollars.”
The immature man later added, “Since getting ‘Metroid Prime’ and ‘The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker’ I’ve hardly stepped out of the house and haven’t even shaved. It’s all their fault. If they didn’t make those games so darn addictive then people like me would be able to live normal lives instead of inhabiting virtual lives in Nintendo video games. It’s like I’m in some kind of a prison.”
The unprecedented legal proceedings could have serious ramifications for Nintendo, as it is believed that should Mr. Taylor win the case, it will open the floodgates for thousands of other older gamers, who’ve also wasted their lives playing Nintendo games, to crawl out of the woodwork and take similar legal action.
Mr. Taylor’s slimy lawyer, Julius Benedict, said, “I think this case may cause many older gamers to re-evaluate their hollow dingy lives and realise who they are and where they’ve been. Nintendo have made their games hyper addictive, encouraged gamers to play them and get addicted, and ruin their lives because they can’t tear themselves away from them. In fact, their games are just like cigarettes, except they don’t kill…or do they?”
A statement from Nintendo concerning the impending legal threat read, “We admit that Nintendo are only guilty of one harmless crime: making great games (oh, that and a little bit of price fixing). We apologise outright to those who have missed out on real life over the past decade or so by being addicted to these games, but nobody at Nintendo ever forced any person to play our games at gunpoint, apart from a few experimental cases as to how well gamers played and coped with pressure when a gun was held to their head.”
The statement also took a bitter swipe at the compensation culture plaguing the United States, claiming that “millions of Japanese citizens happily waste their lives playing video games but yet don’t fell the need to sue”.
This is not the first time Nintendo games have been in the spotlight for their addictive nature. Six years ago a team of well-funded researchers from California State University drew comparisons between the addictiveness of Nintendo video games to the addictiveness of class-A drugs, cigarettes and chocolate. This led to many calls to ban video games, but the research was laughed at by most sensible people.
No matter the outcome, this new legal action comes as a another blow to Nintendo’s family friendly image, as the company have only just recovered from previous court action, where a mob of angry parents sued the company because Pokemon had taught poor life lessons. They believed the games had hypnotised children into thinking they too could catch innocent creatures and force them to fight, leading to many injured and crippled family pets.
The case was settled out of court when Nintendo agreed to pay the vets bills for all the affected animals and therapy costs for the crazy kids.
On a similar note, if this case in America proves successful for Mr. Taylor, it’s expected that thousands of Championship Manager fans will take similar action against developers Sports Interactive and publishers Eidos for wasting their lives in a virtual world.
Ooo i want a peanut!
Im in belfast!
Im in belfast!
Awww go on then, you can have *this peanut*, maybe even throw in *this empty packet of Walker's Prawn Cocktail crisps*. Just have to come to N. Ireland to pick it up. Well done!
Too true, too true.
I'd had this idea sometime last week, but then GAD1 was stopped. Nevertheless, I thought I might as well finish writing it anyway, even though it stands zero chance of winning even a peanut.
Maybe the powers that be will consider a u-turn?...
I'd had this idea sometime last week, but then GAD1 was stopped. Nevertheless, I thought I might as well finish writing it anyway, even though it stands zero chance of winning even a peanut.
Maybe the powers that be will consider a u-turn?...
Too bad GAD stopped... for thsi kind of thing
GAD winner for sure *hmm*
Fun read dude.:-D Great stuff
Fun read dude.:-D Great stuff
In a rather unsurprising move that was only a matter of time, a man in America is soon to make legal history by suing Japanese gaming giants Nintendo for what he claims as being “the cause of his wasted life”.
The legal action began when jobless 36-year-old George Taylor from West Virginia was given a stark telling-off from his frustrated parents about how often he played video games and not socialising with human beings.
As the middle-aged gamer explains, “As I was sitting in my dark and lonely room evaluating my life one night, I suddenly came to the realisation that I’ve spent a vast time on this planet playing addictive Nintendo video games. I could have been out indulging in sex, drugs, rock & roll and bungee jumping instead of guiding a fat plumber around Happy Happy Land or an elf around a forest, and that made me angry…angry and tired. It therefore only seemed right that the cause of my problem, Nintendo, be sued for millions of Dollars.”
The immature man later added, “Since getting ‘Metroid Prime’ and ‘The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker’ I’ve hardly stepped out of the house and haven’t even shaved. It’s all their fault. If they didn’t make those games so darn addictive then people like me would be able to live normal lives instead of inhabiting virtual lives in Nintendo video games. It’s like I’m in some kind of a prison.”
The unprecedented legal proceedings could have serious ramifications for Nintendo, as it is believed that should Mr. Taylor win the case, it will open the floodgates for thousands of other older gamers, who’ve also wasted their lives playing Nintendo games, to crawl out of the woodwork and take similar legal action.
Mr. Taylor’s slimy lawyer, Julius Benedict, said, “I think this case may cause many older gamers to re-evaluate their hollow dingy lives and realise who they are and where they’ve been. Nintendo have made their games hyper addictive, encouraged gamers to play them and get addicted, and ruin their lives because they can’t tear themselves away from them. In fact, their games are just like cigarettes, except they don’t kill…or do they?”
A statement from Nintendo concerning the impending legal threat read, “We admit that Nintendo are only guilty of one harmless crime: making great games (oh, that and a little bit of price fixing). We apologise outright to those who have missed out on real life over the past decade or so by being addicted to these games, but nobody at Nintendo ever forced any person to play our games at gunpoint, apart from a few experimental cases as to how well gamers played and coped with pressure when a gun was held to their head.”
The statement also took a bitter swipe at the compensation culture plaguing the United States, claiming that “millions of Japanese citizens happily waste their lives playing video games but yet don’t fell the need to sue”.
This is not the first time Nintendo games have been in the spotlight for their addictive nature. Six years ago a team of well-funded researchers from California State University drew comparisons between the addictiveness of Nintendo video games to the addictiveness of class-A drugs, cigarettes and chocolate. This led to many calls to ban video games, but the research was laughed at by most sensible people.
No matter the outcome, this new legal action comes as a another blow to Nintendo’s family friendly image, as the company have only just recovered from previous court action, where a mob of angry parents sued the company because Pokemon had taught poor life lessons. They believed the games had hypnotised children into thinking they too could catch innocent creatures and force them to fight, leading to many injured and crippled family pets.
The case was settled out of court when Nintendo agreed to pay the vets bills for all the affected animals and therapy costs for the crazy kids.
On a similar note, if this case in America proves successful for Mr. Taylor, it’s expected that thousands of Championship Manager fans will take similar action against developers Sports Interactive and publishers Eidos for wasting their lives in a virtual world.
The legal action began when jobless 36-year-old George Taylor from West Virginia was given a stark telling-off from his frustrated parents about how often he played video games and not socialising with human beings.
As the middle-aged gamer explains, “As I was sitting in my dark and lonely room evaluating my life one night, I suddenly came to the realisation that I’ve spent a vast time on this planet playing addictive Nintendo video games. I could have been out indulging in sex, drugs, rock & roll and bungee jumping instead of guiding a fat plumber around Happy Happy Land or an elf around a forest, and that made me angry…angry and tired. It therefore only seemed right that the cause of my problem, Nintendo, be sued for millions of Dollars.”
The immature man later added, “Since getting ‘Metroid Prime’ and ‘The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker’ I’ve hardly stepped out of the house and haven’t even shaved. It’s all their fault. If they didn’t make those games so darn addictive then people like me would be able to live normal lives instead of inhabiting virtual lives in Nintendo video games. It’s like I’m in some kind of a prison.”
The unprecedented legal proceedings could have serious ramifications for Nintendo, as it is believed that should Mr. Taylor win the case, it will open the floodgates for thousands of other older gamers, who’ve also wasted their lives playing Nintendo games, to crawl out of the woodwork and take similar legal action.
Mr. Taylor’s slimy lawyer, Julius Benedict, said, “I think this case may cause many older gamers to re-evaluate their hollow dingy lives and realise who they are and where they’ve been. Nintendo have made their games hyper addictive, encouraged gamers to play them and get addicted, and ruin their lives because they can’t tear themselves away from them. In fact, their games are just like cigarettes, except they don’t kill…or do they?”
A statement from Nintendo concerning the impending legal threat read, “We admit that Nintendo are only guilty of one harmless crime: making great games (oh, that and a little bit of price fixing). We apologise outright to those who have missed out on real life over the past decade or so by being addicted to these games, but nobody at Nintendo ever forced any person to play our games at gunpoint, apart from a few experimental cases as to how well gamers played and coped with pressure when a gun was held to their head.”
The statement also took a bitter swipe at the compensation culture plaguing the United States, claiming that “millions of Japanese citizens happily waste their lives playing video games but yet don’t fell the need to sue”.
This is not the first time Nintendo games have been in the spotlight for their addictive nature. Six years ago a team of well-funded researchers from California State University drew comparisons between the addictiveness of Nintendo video games to the addictiveness of class-A drugs, cigarettes and chocolate. This led to many calls to ban video games, but the research was laughed at by most sensible people.
No matter the outcome, this new legal action comes as a another blow to Nintendo’s family friendly image, as the company have only just recovered from previous court action, where a mob of angry parents sued the company because Pokemon had taught poor life lessons. They believed the games had hypnotised children into thinking they too could catch innocent creatures and force them to fight, leading to many injured and crippled family pets.
The case was settled out of court when Nintendo agreed to pay the vets bills for all the affected animals and therapy costs for the crazy kids.
On a similar note, if this case in America proves successful for Mr. Taylor, it’s expected that thousands of Championship Manager fans will take similar action against developers Sports Interactive and publishers Eidos for wasting their lives in a virtual world.