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"Punishment as a child."

I am doing a report for my psychology course. It asks:

do you think the way you were punished as a child effects or will effect the way in which you punish or will punish your children?

How were you punished? do u use this punishment on your children? or when you do have children would you use it?

would you be more or less strict with your children? (or are you?)

What sort of punishment will you use?

Goatboy wrote:
> It's a trilogy of books.

I'm not too sure of all the titles, but I know there
> is
"A boy called it"
"A man called Dave"

yup, I've read those. A Boy Called It was the first book to actually make me cry while reading it, it really was disgusting what his mum was doing to him.

Then again, his dad was no better. He turned a blind eye to the fact that hi mum was abusing so badly, in that respect he should be punished too. There's no reason why he couldn't stop her, or at least call the authorities. Damn ash-hole.

I've got kids, 2 of them.

Malibu is just over 2, and Georgia is 7 months old.

There's no point in trying to punish Georgia - she can't help crying, it's her only means of communication. Yes she can be frustrating, but what can you do? I really don't understand how anyone can get so worked up asto physically harm a lil' baby though?

Malibu, being that much older does understand what you say to her, and can communicate with some words, and a bit of pointing. Yes, she can deliberately do things that are wrong (tearing up paper when she get's frustrated for instance) what good would smacking her do? She wouldn't understand.

If you tell her "NO" she'll stop, and begin to gain an understanding that she's not supposed to do that.

I'll never hit my kids, because I think that it doesn't achieve anything, only cause resentment.

And yes, cruel words are just as bad, and can completely shatter confidence.

It's a trilogy of books.

I'm not too sure of all the titles, but I know there is
"A boy called it"
"A man called Dave"

And another one, the author is David Peltzer.
Heartbreaking to read, although ultimately a triumph.
read them in order to get the full story.

Did the man in the book say if he has children and how he treats them.

I hope you can get the name of the book, sounds interesting and will help me greatly, cheers.

Did anyone read that book?? It was written by a guy who went through severe punishment from his mother, I can't remember what it was called. But it really effected me...I'll try and find it.

I think a small smack is okay. Nothing too painful, just something to teach kids that they shouldn't do it again. Otherwise, it may not get through to them.

But anything that goes under the word 'abuse' is wrong. Completely wrong. Unfortunately, lots of parents do it, and it becomes so bad that they do it even when the child does something wrong. If you want proof, just read the book I was telling you about. This boy wasn't fed for about a week, and had to sit on his hands for hours on end for no reason at all. If he moved, she would burn him on the cooker.

Yep.
Despicable, vile people that I do not consider "parents".
You are supposed to protect your kid, nurture and love it.
Not treat it like a rag-doll and take your frustrations out on it.

Verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse, mental intimidation of a child by the parent is no worse that beating them, just the scars are deeper and less obvious.

Time and time again I hear about Social Services failing to pick up on child-abuse cases where it's bloody obvious that something is wrong.

Sorry, I can't discuss this subject without the need to shout and swear with anger.
If you are a parent and you even consider harming your child, damn you and I hope that something bad happens to you.
Do not mistreat your child under ANY circumstances, because karma comes around and one day you'll get yours.

I think we are still animals in a way, with instincts (very basic level). You see animals punishing there young, be it with a nip at the neck or a paw in the chops. Its natural. But you don't see a Lion ripping the bejesus out of it's young when it play fights with another sibling.

It is astonishing how many children suffer extreme abuse from their gaurdians. I have just read a study and it breaks my heart. And they are just the cases they know of.

Yeah, it is a question of what is acceptable.

But I don't think anyone can question a parent slapping their kid on the butt for doing something, just a quick smack and that's it. More of a shock that actual pain. And would need to be done very, very few times to have the kid expect punishment without the need to mete it out.

And on the other end of the scale, you have parents that think extinguishing cigarettes on a kid for crying at night is ok, or knocking a kid out because he was laughing too loud when the tv was on.

Morally, some will say "Oh no slapping at all", but in moderation and done purely as a "NO!", it can have beneficial results.
It's when you move into other areas that the whole issue of punishment becomes an issue of abuse rather than punish.

Thank you for your input, This I agree with completely. You answered very passionately, this is a very passionate subject.

But I do feel that the line between smacking and abuse is quite wide. If you abuse a child, you know what you are doing is abuse and therefore should be punished.

I think smacking is acceptable but some people do seem to enjoy it, this in my opinion is abuse.

Doing anything to the extreme is not good, abuse is to the extreme and highly recognisable.

I don't have time to go into it here, but the study of domestic violence and the effects on children is an extremely emotional one.
Basically, it's a cycle.
If you're subjected to serious violence as a child, there is an extremely high probability that you will repeat the abuse as a parent, it's a well documented fact.

This is a topic I will not discuss with any references to personal experience, but:

I would never lay a hand on my child in anger, ever.

It's one thing to smack their legs when they've done something wrong, that is pretty much standard I think.
But the moment you cross into what can be termed as abuse then you should be treated with absolute and full penalty of law.
There is a distinction between a quick whack on the backside and serious, long-term abuse of a child.
It's a tricky subject and one that I feel totally and absolutely passionate about, for my own reasons.

All I can say, once more, is that I could never harm a kid, and anyone that does?
You should be shot in the face.