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Welcome my name is Dr. Starlight and I’m here to help the few of you who take wrestling all a bit too seriously, so sit back, relax and I will begin..
There are the obvious things to do to be a good WWF fan but only bad things get noticed in this world so this is not what not to do as a fan of the sport of kings so first of all you need to know what to look out for in fellow wrestling a holics, so to start with I will give you the symptoms of living and breathing wrestling and when you know someone has had too much. The 16 signs of the wrestling disease are..
1. When you think it’s cool to wear wrestling T-Shirts in public.
2. When you’re in a real life fight and are getting beat badly and you honestly believe that with a little crowd support you can make a comeback.
3. When you search the bible for page 3 paragraph 16 looking to find out about the book of Austin.
4. When you won’t leave the bathroom until they play your theme music.
5. When you’re in a real fight and you ‘blade’
6. When you suspect you’re best friend is setting you up for a heel turn
7. When you go into work or school and make fun of people you know in an attempt to draw heat.
8. If you walk into church and slap people's hands in the pews while walking down the aisle.
9. When you dump your girlfriend because you think that’s she’s only suitable for mid card status.
10. When a guy steals your girl and you consider it an angle.
11. In a real fight you set someone up for the Rock Bottom and expect them to jump.
12. You make a deal with a friend, you shake hands and then you hesitate to look for the crowd response.
13. If you hit your teacher/manager in the back with a desk chair while your friend distracts him.
14. When after everything your friends say to you, you reply with “What?”
15. When you go to a Chinese restraunt and start a “USA, USA” chant.
16. Before a real fight you pick up a mic and cut a promo.
So those are just a few of the symptoms you should be looking out for but now what I hear you say, what should we do once it’s too late and our dearly beloveds have been won over by this wrestling bug, well Dr. Starlight shall tell you first of all make sure the patient is sitting in a room free of any wrestling propaganda or anything slightly related with wrestling.
If you are having trouble removing the sick from the television screen of watching ancient WWF matches try the following.
Challenge the sick to a wrestling match (an offer he will not refuse) and quickly before he says who he is, say he is a low card wrestler and apply a sleeper hold, he will then take the characteristics of the wrestler and tap out after a while.
Follow these five steps to cure the patient, these must be done in this order for treatment to work. Be warned putting the patient in the ankle lock telling him to tap out and never watch wrestling again makes you worse than he his.
1. Make a point of removing his socks as he may wear them and start chocking you to death with it shouting “Have a nice day”.
2. Tell him the ‘devil himself’ has forced him into a career match where by if he looses he must meet with the stipulations of the match.
3. Get his (if he doesn’t have any yours will do) friends to do a ‘run in’ for him disqualifying him.
4. Being the avid wrestling fan that he is he will believe he has lost his right to watch WWF television, either that or he will laugh and watch WWF only on certain days, at least he knows what is reality now, both ways, it’s a win, win situation.
5. If this doesn’t work tell him that ‘Stone Cold said so’ or ‘MEAAAANNNEEE GENNNEEEEE thinks he should take you out’ don’t “if you can’t beat them join them”, this does not work.
If none of the above work then it is too late, what did you see in this guy? My advice get a new boyfriend (I mean girls don’t do this do they, unless you know it’s a soap or something). If you must take advantage of the situation and get him to indulge in some of the Rock’s cooking, you may have to chant Rocky, Rocky and If ya smelllll what the Rock is cooking, before eating but it could be worth it. Whatever you do don’t mention strudel unless, you know..
Thanks for reading
Dr. Starlight
There are the obvious things to do to be a good WWF fan but only bad things get noticed in this world so this is not what not to do as a fan of the sport of kings so first of all you need to know what to look out for in fellow wrestling a holics, so to start with I will give you the symptoms of living and breathing wrestling and when you know someone has had too much. The 16 signs of the wrestling disease are..
1. When you think it’s cool to wear wrestling T-Shirts in public.
2. When you’re in a real life fight and are getting beat badly and you honestly believe that with a little crowd support you can make a comeback.
3. When you search the bible for page 3 paragraph 16 looking to find out about the book of Austin.
4. When you won’t leave the bathroom until they play your theme music.
5. When you’re in a real fight and you ‘blade’
6. When you suspect you’re best friend is setting you up for a heel turn
7. When you go into work or school and make fun of people you know in an attempt to draw heat.
8. If you walk into church and slap people's hands in the pews while walking down the aisle.
9. When you dump your girlfriend because you think that’s she’s only suitable for mid card status.
10. When a guy steals your girl and you consider it an angle.
11. In a real fight you set someone up for the Rock Bottom and expect them to jump.
12. You make a deal with a friend, you shake hands and then you hesitate to look for the crowd response.
13. If you hit your teacher/manager in the back with a desk chair while your friend distracts him.
14. When after everything your friends say to you, you reply with “What?”
15. When you go to a Chinese restraunt and start a “USA, USA” chant.
16. Before a real fight you pick up a mic and cut a promo.
So those are just a few of the symptoms you should be looking out for but now what I hear you say, what should we do once it’s too late and our dearly beloveds have been won over by this wrestling bug, well Dr. Starlight shall tell you first of all make sure the patient is sitting in a room free of any wrestling propaganda or anything slightly related with wrestling.
If you are having trouble removing the sick from the television screen of watching ancient WWF matches try the following.
Challenge the sick to a wrestling match (an offer he will not refuse) and quickly before he says who he is, say he is a low card wrestler and apply a sleeper hold, he will then take the characteristics of the wrestler and tap out after a while.
Follow these five steps to cure the patient, these must be done in this order for treatment to work. Be warned putting the patient in the ankle lock telling him to tap out and never watch wrestling again makes you worse than he his.
1. Make a point of removing his socks as he may wear them and start chocking you to death with it shouting “Have a nice day”.
2. Tell him the ‘devil himself’ has forced him into a career match where by if he looses he must meet with the stipulations of the match.
3. Get his (if he doesn’t have any yours will do) friends to do a ‘run in’ for him disqualifying him.
4. Being the avid wrestling fan that he is he will believe he has lost his right to watch WWF television, either that or he will laugh and watch WWF only on certain days, at least he knows what is reality now, both ways, it’s a win, win situation.
5. If this doesn’t work tell him that ‘Stone Cold said so’ or ‘MEAAAANNNEEE GENNNEEEEE thinks he should take you out’ don’t “if you can’t beat them join them”, this does not work.
If none of the above work then it is too late, what did you see in this guy? My advice get a new boyfriend (I mean girls don’t do this do they, unless you know it’s a soap or something). If you must take advantage of the situation and get him to indulge in some of the Rock’s cooking, you may have to chant Rocky, Rocky and If ya smelllll what the Rock is cooking, before eating but it could be worth it. Whatever you do don’t mention strudel unless, you know..
Thanks for reading
Dr. Starlight
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LOL, very funny Starlight, made me laugh out loud it did. Good post, maybe a GAD winner.
Pure brilliance...a man with my own sense of humour ;)
Good Post. its a shame that I have already voted for a Notable cause if I had read this post before, I would have probably voted for you.
Firebalt.
I havn't copied these from a site, I saw similar ones before thats where I got the idea, but I changed them and made my own up so there not the same, I also put a story to them, anyway everyone gets inspiration for a topic from somewhere and thats how I got mine, not copied at all.
Thanks for the comments guys! Much appriciated.
I havn't copied these from a site, I saw similar ones before thats where I got the idea, but I changed them and made my own up so there not the same, I also put a story to them, anyway everyone gets inspiration for a topic from somewhere and thats how I got mine, not copied at all.
Thanks for the comments guys! Much appriciated.
Yeah 4 lol. Nice post SL, very funny! :D
Jetster wrote:
> Man that was funny mate, well done. I like point number 4! Brilliant!
too true, 4 is brilliant
> Man that was funny mate, well done. I like point number 4! Brilliant!
too true, 4 is brilliant
symptom 11, classic :D
Very funny Andy! Those poor sick wrestling fans need help! :D
Ant wrote:
> LOL!!! That was brilliant Andy, a real GAD contender. I especially liked number
> 8, that made me crack up. :D I can just imagine some loud music playing and some
> guy dancing down an aisle at a church, slapping people's hands as the priest
> tries to pray. :D
Excellent topic Starlight. Not to rain on the parade, but I think that a few of these have been copy and pasted from another site, because I've read a lot of them before. Anywho, still a great topic!
Firebalt.
> LOL!!! That was brilliant Andy, a real GAD contender. I especially liked number
> 8, that made me crack up. :D I can just imagine some loud music playing and some
> guy dancing down an aisle at a church, slapping people's hands as the priest
> tries to pray. :D
Excellent topic Starlight. Not to rain on the parade, but I think that a few of these have been copy and pasted from another site, because I've read a lot of them before. Anywho, still a great topic!
Firebalt.
Wow, andy made me laugh...
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