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Last night I went to see ‘A**e Oddity’ with Richy and Eddie from the hilarious series that is ‘Bottom’. It was absolutely brilliant and was a non-stop laugh. Now we’ve all seen the bad boy Motor bike gangs who go racing round the streets pretty much showing off. But on the way we saw ‘The Mo-ped gang’ it was so funny, they came out of now-where and there was about seven of them thinking they were so cool.
The thing is, they were all learners, accept one and they were at the traffic lights and must have decided to have a race on green. So as ‘Green’ lit up they all sped off, well one did all the learners where doing about twenty and the one who had passed went speeding off at about fifty and all the others behind were trying to wave him back but he didn’t see and he went speeding off and lost them.
Then we got to the ‘Apollo’ and these blokes in there late teens came walking over trying to look hard with their fags in hand and bottles of booze in the other and they walked past and one tried to lean over and barge me, but I just stepped to the side and he tripped over. All of his mates started laughing at him and he got up with his drink all down him with a large burn mark on his cheek from his cigarette, he stared at me and then walked off embarrassed as hell with his mates who were still laughing their heads off at him.
Once we got in, everyone couldn’t wait for it to start and some bloke in front of me got to his feet and shouted ‘GET ON WITH IT!’ and everyone looked at him and laughed which was rather amusing.
The set of the first half was on a desert island where Richy got a pair of pink very small pant stuck on, so Eddy came to the rescue with the aid of just a Chain saw (ouch). Then their drunken smocking parrot called ‘Dave’ got mugged by a group of seagulls and died. So Eddy and Richy get some electric resuscitation things and manage to eventually blow the parrot up. Soon they both want a drink of milk so Eddy goes over to milk the pig, which drags him all around the stage, but eventually he manages to get his milk. When they are sat down drinking their hard ern’t ‘Milk’ Eddy says “Richy, have you noticed that the pig only has one long nipple and under that instead of another nipple, two balls” at that point Richy nods agreeingly then he suddenly realises what the ‘Milk’ really is and he spits it all over the stage. And they start having one of their fights, during this a fat man in the crowd gets to his feet and shouts “Kick him in the nuts (Well it was ruder than that)” Then Eddy stops hitting Richy and goes to the front of the stage and stares straight at the bloke and says “Oy, these people didn’t come here to listen to one fat idiot (it was slightly ruder than that) shouting a lowed of crap in the dark, they came here to listen to TWO fat idiots (again was actually ruder) shouting a lowed of crap in the LIGHT”. And then returns to beating Richy as the crowd were left in hysterics. That pretty much concluded the first half.
The second half was with them stuck in this dome thing. While they were trying to find a way to escape some woman on the front row took off her knickers then she threw them they landed right on Richy’s back so while Eddy was still looking for an escape route, Richy bundled the knickers into his side pocket and winked at the woman then pretended that nothing had happened. When Richy had escaped Eddy was left on his own and he said, “What shall I do now?” Someone else stood up and shouted “Have a Tommy Tank” so Eddy replied with “Well I could have a Tommy Tank, it would surly pass the time, but I can’t imagine it wouldn’t be much fun for you audience I mean especially for these lot on the front row ‘cos they would get absolutely soaked! But lets face it they are great fun and look at you woman shaking your head, don’t pretend you don’t” and he put his two fingers to his nose and cringed. Soon enough the end came and they sang us all a lovely song called “F off home” and I’m sure you can guess the same three words that built the whole song. Near the end an electric guitar was lowered from the ceiling and Eddy picked it up and began to play a reasonably fast tune whilst Richy hit a solo. Then another woman took off her thong and threw it on the stage, Richy surged forward and grabbed it putting it on his head and wore it for the rest of the song. The curtain closed everyone clapped and “F’ed off home”.
My mates and myself took the train home and walked the last bit but my mate’s mum dad and aunt took the car. When we arrived home they told us that on the way home they saw two old men walking along drunk out of their heads, then one clutched his chest and dropped to the floor where he lay completely out of it. So my mate’s dad stopped the car and ran over to try to help, but when he got to them he realised that they were just drunk, but he stayed with them until the doctor came. So he got chatting to the one who was still conscious and saw that they both had all of their war medals on so he said “oh, were you in the army together?” and the drunk answered “No, I was in the RAF and Crispy here, well its Crispy he is a bloody legend!” “So why do they call him Crispy?” “Well if your in a tank and a shell goes off next to you then you are CRISPY.” Soon a paramedic arrived and he just happened to be passing and it was all like something from a movie because then another car pulled over and it was two doctors who had also just happened to be passing and they came running over felling Crispy for a pulse and all that. And Crispy’s pal was there saying “OY, leave him alone, do you know who that is? Its Crispy, he is a bloody legend, leave him alone” and at that point my mates dad just got in and left them to it.
And that was my Thursday night, hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.
The thing is, they were all learners, accept one and they were at the traffic lights and must have decided to have a race on green. So as ‘Green’ lit up they all sped off, well one did all the learners where doing about twenty and the one who had passed went speeding off at about fifty and all the others behind were trying to wave him back but he didn’t see and he went speeding off and lost them.
Then we got to the ‘Apollo’ and these blokes in there late teens came walking over trying to look hard with their fags in hand and bottles of booze in the other and they walked past and one tried to lean over and barge me, but I just stepped to the side and he tripped over. All of his mates started laughing at him and he got up with his drink all down him with a large burn mark on his cheek from his cigarette, he stared at me and then walked off embarrassed as hell with his mates who were still laughing their heads off at him.
Once we got in, everyone couldn’t wait for it to start and some bloke in front of me got to his feet and shouted ‘GET ON WITH IT!’ and everyone looked at him and laughed which was rather amusing.
The set of the first half was on a desert island where Richy got a pair of pink very small pant stuck on, so Eddy came to the rescue with the aid of just a Chain saw (ouch). Then their drunken smocking parrot called ‘Dave’ got mugged by a group of seagulls and died. So Eddy and Richy get some electric resuscitation things and manage to eventually blow the parrot up. Soon they both want a drink of milk so Eddy goes over to milk the pig, which drags him all around the stage, but eventually he manages to get his milk. When they are sat down drinking their hard ern’t ‘Milk’ Eddy says “Richy, have you noticed that the pig only has one long nipple and under that instead of another nipple, two balls” at that point Richy nods agreeingly then he suddenly realises what the ‘Milk’ really is and he spits it all over the stage. And they start having one of their fights, during this a fat man in the crowd gets to his feet and shouts “Kick him in the nuts (Well it was ruder than that)” Then Eddy stops hitting Richy and goes to the front of the stage and stares straight at the bloke and says “Oy, these people didn’t come here to listen to one fat idiot (it was slightly ruder than that) shouting a lowed of crap in the dark, they came here to listen to TWO fat idiots (again was actually ruder) shouting a lowed of crap in the LIGHT”. And then returns to beating Richy as the crowd were left in hysterics. That pretty much concluded the first half.
The second half was with them stuck in this dome thing. While they were trying to find a way to escape some woman on the front row took off her knickers then she threw them they landed right on Richy’s back so while Eddy was still looking for an escape route, Richy bundled the knickers into his side pocket and winked at the woman then pretended that nothing had happened. When Richy had escaped Eddy was left on his own and he said, “What shall I do now?” Someone else stood up and shouted “Have a Tommy Tank” so Eddy replied with “Well I could have a Tommy Tank, it would surly pass the time, but I can’t imagine it wouldn’t be much fun for you audience I mean especially for these lot on the front row ‘cos they would get absolutely soaked! But lets face it they are great fun and look at you woman shaking your head, don’t pretend you don’t” and he put his two fingers to his nose and cringed. Soon enough the end came and they sang us all a lovely song called “F off home” and I’m sure you can guess the same three words that built the whole song. Near the end an electric guitar was lowered from the ceiling and Eddy picked it up and began to play a reasonably fast tune whilst Richy hit a solo. Then another woman took off her thong and threw it on the stage, Richy surged forward and grabbed it putting it on his head and wore it for the rest of the song. The curtain closed everyone clapped and “F’ed off home”.
My mates and myself took the train home and walked the last bit but my mate’s mum dad and aunt took the car. When we arrived home they told us that on the way home they saw two old men walking along drunk out of their heads, then one clutched his chest and dropped to the floor where he lay completely out of it. So my mate’s dad stopped the car and ran over to try to help, but when he got to them he realised that they were just drunk, but he stayed with them until the doctor came. So he got chatting to the one who was still conscious and saw that they both had all of their war medals on so he said “oh, were you in the army together?” and the drunk answered “No, I was in the RAF and Crispy here, well its Crispy he is a bloody legend!” “So why do they call him Crispy?” “Well if your in a tank and a shell goes off next to you then you are CRISPY.” Soon a paramedic arrived and he just happened to be passing and it was all like something from a movie because then another car pulled over and it was two doctors who had also just happened to be passing and they came running over felling Crispy for a pulse and all that. And Crispy’s pal was there saying “OY, leave him alone, do you know who that is? Its Crispy, he is a bloody legend, leave him alone” and at that point my mates dad just got in and left them to it.
And that was my Thursday night, hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.
i absolutely loved the series Bottom and the young ones that was kinda like when they were students. neil the hippy from that one was so totally hilarious. i wish they'd done more episodes of each but it goes to show how great the series are when even after seeing it about 6 times each episode i still find them funny
Last night I went to see ‘A**e Oddity’ with Richy and Eddie from the hilarious series that is ‘Bottom’. It was absolutely brilliant and was a non-stop laugh. Now we’ve all seen the bad boy Motor bike gangs who go racing round the streets pretty much showing off. But on the way we saw ‘The Mo-ped gang’ it was so funny, they came out of now-where and there was about seven of them thinking they were so cool.
The thing is, they were all learners, accept one and they were at the traffic lights and must have decided to have a race on green. So as ‘Green’ lit up they all sped off, well one did all the learners where doing about twenty and the one who had passed went speeding off at about fifty and all the others behind were trying to wave him back but he didn’t see and he went speeding off and lost them.
Then we got to the ‘Apollo’ and these blokes in there late teens came walking over trying to look hard with their fags in hand and bottles of booze in the other and they walked past and one tried to lean over and barge me, but I just stepped to the side and he tripped over. All of his mates started laughing at him and he got up with his drink all down him with a large burn mark on his cheek from his cigarette, he stared at me and then walked off embarrassed as hell with his mates who were still laughing their heads off at him.
Once we got in, everyone couldn’t wait for it to start and some bloke in front of me got to his feet and shouted ‘GET ON WITH IT!’ and everyone looked at him and laughed which was rather amusing.
The set of the first half was on a desert island where Richy got a pair of pink very small pant stuck on, so Eddy came to the rescue with the aid of just a Chain saw (ouch). Then their drunken smocking parrot called ‘Dave’ got mugged by a group of seagulls and died. So Eddy and Richy get some electric resuscitation things and manage to eventually blow the parrot up. Soon they both want a drink of milk so Eddy goes over to milk the pig, which drags him all around the stage, but eventually he manages to get his milk. When they are sat down drinking their hard ern’t ‘Milk’ Eddy says “Richy, have you noticed that the pig only has one long nipple and under that instead of another nipple, two balls” at that point Richy nods agreeingly then he suddenly realises what the ‘Milk’ really is and he spits it all over the stage. And they start having one of their fights, during this a fat man in the crowd gets to his feet and shouts “Kick him in the nuts (Well it was ruder than that)” Then Eddy stops hitting Richy and goes to the front of the stage and stares straight at the bloke and says “Oy, these people didn’t come here to listen to one fat idiot (it was slightly ruder than that) shouting a lowed of crap in the dark, they came here to listen to TWO fat idiots (again was actually ruder) shouting a lowed of crap in the LIGHT”. And then returns to beating Richy as the crowd were left in hysterics. That pretty much concluded the first half.
The second half was with them stuck in this dome thing. While they were trying to find a way to escape some woman on the front row took off her knickers then she threw them they landed right on Richy’s back so while Eddy was still looking for an escape route, Richy bundled the knickers into his side pocket and winked at the woman then pretended that nothing had happened. When Richy had escaped Eddy was left on his own and he said, “What shall I do now?” Someone else stood up and shouted “Have a Tommy Tank” so Eddy replied with “Well I could have a Tommy Tank, it would surly pass the time, but I can’t imagine it wouldn’t be much fun for you audience I mean especially for these lot on the front row ‘cos they would get absolutely soaked! But lets face it they are great fun and look at you woman shaking your head, don’t pretend you don’t” and he put his two fingers to his nose and cringed. Soon enough the end came and they sang us all a lovely song called “F off home” and I’m sure you can guess the same three words that built the whole song. Near the end an electric guitar was lowered from the ceiling and Eddy picked it up and began to play a reasonably fast tune whilst Richy hit a solo. Then another woman took off her thong and threw it on the stage, Richy surged forward and grabbed it putting it on his head and wore it for the rest of the song. The curtain closed everyone clapped and “F’ed off home”.
My mates and myself took the train home and walked the last bit but my mate’s mum dad and aunt took the car. When we arrived home they told us that on the way home they saw two old men walking along drunk out of their heads, then one clutched his chest and dropped to the floor where he lay completely out of it. So my mate’s dad stopped the car and ran over to try to help, but when he got to them he realised that they were just drunk, but he stayed with them until the doctor came. So he got chatting to the one who was still conscious and saw that they both had all of their war medals on so he said “oh, were you in the army together?” and the drunk answered “No, I was in the RAF and Crispy here, well its Crispy he is a bloody legend!” “So why do they call him Crispy?” “Well if your in a tank and a shell goes off next to you then you are CRISPY.” Soon a paramedic arrived and he just happened to be passing and it was all like something from a movie because then another car pulled over and it was two doctors who had also just happened to be passing and they came running over felling Crispy for a pulse and all that. And Crispy’s pal was there saying “OY, leave him alone, do you know who that is? Its Crispy, he is a bloody legend, leave him alone” and at that point my mates dad just got in and left them to it.
And that was my Thursday night, hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.
The thing is, they were all learners, accept one and they were at the traffic lights and must have decided to have a race on green. So as ‘Green’ lit up they all sped off, well one did all the learners where doing about twenty and the one who had passed went speeding off at about fifty and all the others behind were trying to wave him back but he didn’t see and he went speeding off and lost them.
Then we got to the ‘Apollo’ and these blokes in there late teens came walking over trying to look hard with their fags in hand and bottles of booze in the other and they walked past and one tried to lean over and barge me, but I just stepped to the side and he tripped over. All of his mates started laughing at him and he got up with his drink all down him with a large burn mark on his cheek from his cigarette, he stared at me and then walked off embarrassed as hell with his mates who were still laughing their heads off at him.
Once we got in, everyone couldn’t wait for it to start and some bloke in front of me got to his feet and shouted ‘GET ON WITH IT!’ and everyone looked at him and laughed which was rather amusing.
The set of the first half was on a desert island where Richy got a pair of pink very small pant stuck on, so Eddy came to the rescue with the aid of just a Chain saw (ouch). Then their drunken smocking parrot called ‘Dave’ got mugged by a group of seagulls and died. So Eddy and Richy get some electric resuscitation things and manage to eventually blow the parrot up. Soon they both want a drink of milk so Eddy goes over to milk the pig, which drags him all around the stage, but eventually he manages to get his milk. When they are sat down drinking their hard ern’t ‘Milk’ Eddy says “Richy, have you noticed that the pig only has one long nipple and under that instead of another nipple, two balls” at that point Richy nods agreeingly then he suddenly realises what the ‘Milk’ really is and he spits it all over the stage. And they start having one of their fights, during this a fat man in the crowd gets to his feet and shouts “Kick him in the nuts (Well it was ruder than that)” Then Eddy stops hitting Richy and goes to the front of the stage and stares straight at the bloke and says “Oy, these people didn’t come here to listen to one fat idiot (it was slightly ruder than that) shouting a lowed of crap in the dark, they came here to listen to TWO fat idiots (again was actually ruder) shouting a lowed of crap in the LIGHT”. And then returns to beating Richy as the crowd were left in hysterics. That pretty much concluded the first half.
The second half was with them stuck in this dome thing. While they were trying to find a way to escape some woman on the front row took off her knickers then she threw them they landed right on Richy’s back so while Eddy was still looking for an escape route, Richy bundled the knickers into his side pocket and winked at the woman then pretended that nothing had happened. When Richy had escaped Eddy was left on his own and he said, “What shall I do now?” Someone else stood up and shouted “Have a Tommy Tank” so Eddy replied with “Well I could have a Tommy Tank, it would surly pass the time, but I can’t imagine it wouldn’t be much fun for you audience I mean especially for these lot on the front row ‘cos they would get absolutely soaked! But lets face it they are great fun and look at you woman shaking your head, don’t pretend you don’t” and he put his two fingers to his nose and cringed. Soon enough the end came and they sang us all a lovely song called “F off home” and I’m sure you can guess the same three words that built the whole song. Near the end an electric guitar was lowered from the ceiling and Eddy picked it up and began to play a reasonably fast tune whilst Richy hit a solo. Then another woman took off her thong and threw it on the stage, Richy surged forward and grabbed it putting it on his head and wore it for the rest of the song. The curtain closed everyone clapped and “F’ed off home”.
My mates and myself took the train home and walked the last bit but my mate’s mum dad and aunt took the car. When we arrived home they told us that on the way home they saw two old men walking along drunk out of their heads, then one clutched his chest and dropped to the floor where he lay completely out of it. So my mate’s dad stopped the car and ran over to try to help, but when he got to them he realised that they were just drunk, but he stayed with them until the doctor came. So he got chatting to the one who was still conscious and saw that they both had all of their war medals on so he said “oh, were you in the army together?” and the drunk answered “No, I was in the RAF and Crispy here, well its Crispy he is a bloody legend!” “So why do they call him Crispy?” “Well if your in a tank and a shell goes off next to you then you are CRISPY.” Soon a paramedic arrived and he just happened to be passing and it was all like something from a movie because then another car pulled over and it was two doctors who had also just happened to be passing and they came running over felling Crispy for a pulse and all that. And Crispy’s pal was there saying “OY, leave him alone, do you know who that is? Its Crispy, he is a bloody legend, leave him alone” and at that point my mates dad just got in and left them to it.
And that was my Thursday night, hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.