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That's right, I need a dump.
However, my mum is expecting a DVD player to be delivered today with surround sound speakers and stuff.
They said anytime between 8:30am and 5:30pm.
I've been up since 8am - only person in the house at the moment...and can't have a dump until it arrives or my brother comes home...
Curse you WeeBull!
However, my mum is expecting a DVD player to be delivered today with surround sound speakers and stuff.
They said anytime between 8:30am and 5:30pm.
I've been up since 8am - only person in the house at the moment...and can't have a dump until it arrives or my brother comes home...
Curse you WeeBull!
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Well i'm back, luckily i was able to control my bowels and since we didnt go to the wake i just used my toilet (whats beautiful is your bum forms a bond with your home loo)
Seriously though it was a beautiful service and did Carol's (it was her funeral) family proud.
Seriously though it was a beautiful service and did Carol's (it was her funeral) family proud.
Squelch.
I hate it when you're on the loo, you're the only one at home, and the doorbell rings - especially when you're expecting something of your own!
It happened to me a while back, and so I had to wait an extra day just to get it (whatever it was...).
But it's even worse when you've finished, there's no doorbell, you're the only one home, and you've realised there's no more paper left on the roll in the downstairs loo you're currently dumping in!
What a nightmare that is!! :S
It happened to me a while back, and so I had to wait an extra day just to get it (whatever it was...).
But it's even worse when you've finished, there's no doorbell, you're the only one home, and you've realised there's no more paper left on the roll in the downstairs loo you're currently dumping in!
What a nightmare that is!! :S
I knew it! As soon as I started something, the delivery arrived.
Luckily, all I had started was a pizza which I had put in the oven - could've been worse :D
Luckily, all I had started was a pizza which I had put in the oven - could've been worse :D
Garlic Bread!? wrote:
> I know how you feel, allow me to let you in on a secret.
>
> In five minutes (and this is no lie) i have to go to a funeral (im
> sitting in the clothes now) its no one i knew, im only going to give
> my mum moral support, anyway, i've got a bit of an upset stomach, by
> upset i dont mean it just got dumped, well acctually it wont stop, so
> i'm sorta getting woried... (this is all gods honest truth)
So you'll be parping like a bugle all through the funeral? Nice...
> I know how you feel, allow me to let you in on a secret.
>
> In five minutes (and this is no lie) i have to go to a funeral (im
> sitting in the clothes now) its no one i knew, im only going to give
> my mum moral support, anyway, i've got a bit of an upset stomach, by
> upset i dont mean it just got dumped, well acctually it wont stop, so
> i'm sorta getting woried... (this is all gods honest truth)
So you'll be parping like a bugle all through the funeral? Nice...
Eat half a dozen bananas.
That should reduce your delivery to within a safe margin.
That should reduce your delivery to within a safe margin.
I know how you feel, allow me to let you in on a secret.
In five minutes (and this is no lie) i have to go to a funeral (im sitting in the clothes now) its no one i knew, im only going to give my mum moral support, anyway, i've got a bit of an upset stomach, by upset i dont mean it just got dumped, well acctually it wont stop, so i'm sorta getting woried... (this is all gods honest truth)
In five minutes (and this is no lie) i have to go to a funeral (im sitting in the clothes now) its no one i knew, im only going to give my mum moral support, anyway, i've got a bit of an upset stomach, by upset i dont mean it just got dumped, well acctually it wont stop, so i'm sorta getting woried... (this is all gods honest truth)
Heh, how would the delivery guy get to either my loo or bathroom...
lol, chatting to someone whilst on the crapper...sounds a bit odd to me...apparently turns some people on....
I'm just paranoid that as soon as I start the first push, the doorbell will go...by then, its too late.
lol, chatting to someone whilst on the crapper...sounds a bit
I'm just paranoid that as soon as I start the first push, the doorbell will go...by then, its too late.
Right, grab two plastic cups (preferably not priceless airlooms) place sting in the bottom of either cups and extent the cups, one to the loo, the other, your bathroom, and 'vuala'! a private line if the delivery man turns up!
Leave a note on the door.
"Ring the bell and if I'm not down in five minutes try again."
That should do the trick. They'll probably come just as you finish so you should be alright. Most of the time they come about 12:00 ish though I find. If not then it's about 2:00 ish.
"Ring the bell and if I'm not down in five minutes try again."
That should do the trick. They'll probably come just as you finish so you should be alright. Most of the time they come about 12:00 ish though I find. If not then it's about 2:00 ish.
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