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OK, I got sent an e-mail yesterday called Ron Atkinson's bingo, (which I have unfortunately deleted, and so can't use in this post) which involved ridiculous statements by Ron Atkinson, which you were supposed to listen out for and score points depending on how many he used in a game.
It got me thinking about how useless TV pundits are. Almost definitely the worst is Dave Bassett, who simply repeats the commentary:
"Yeah, well, he's crossed the ball in from the left there, and well, the forward's controlled it, and well, he's put it in the goal." - Yeah, thanks Dave.
As opposed to Ron, who just makes up rubbish:
"Well, the little fellars knocked it up to the back stick, and the big lad's got eyebrows on it, put it in the blender, then he's gone for a tic-tac-toe" (Apparently this was the phrase he used when Andy Cole had a shot saved bottom-left, centre middle, and top-right, giving him three in a row in noughts and crosses - honest!!)
Then you have Andy Gray:
"As you can see here (using stupidly advanced computer graphics to show that David Beckham's mohican isn't quite straight) the lad's made a grrrreat effort, but the finish wasn't quite there when he needed it." or "Let me just run this through (queue footage running at double speed with stupid dots appearing everywhere as the players run around)....now, as you can quite clearly see, he's offside when the ball is played, (queue FA seeing Sky and quickly demoting our best referees to the Unibond Conference)
Or Andy Townsend:
"I'm here in the ITV Tactics Truck with Ugo Ehiogu (and loads of blokes sitting there pretending to do stuff...what could they possibly be doing? Tactics stuff?) - now, Ugo what did you think of the game?
- Well, uh, we, uh, lost, but I thought, uh, the boys did good.
- OK. Now, the sending off, do you think that changed the game?
- Well, uh, it meant that, uh we only had, uh, 9 men, so yeah.
- Except that of course then you had ten men, Ugo.
- Oh yeah.
- Thanks Ugo. Back to you Des
Sorry, but if any of this actually helps people watch football I'd be amazed. That's why MOTD was brilliant, there was good commentary, proper analysis, with good opinions, and no ridiculous gimmicks.
So come on, lets get some good pundits, intelligent commentators, and lose the ridiculous ProZone and all that!
It got me thinking about how useless TV pundits are. Almost definitely the worst is Dave Bassett, who simply repeats the commentary:
"Yeah, well, he's crossed the ball in from the left there, and well, the forward's controlled it, and well, he's put it in the goal." - Yeah, thanks Dave.
As opposed to Ron, who just makes up rubbish:
"Well, the little fellars knocked it up to the back stick, and the big lad's got eyebrows on it, put it in the blender, then he's gone for a tic-tac-toe" (Apparently this was the phrase he used when Andy Cole had a shot saved bottom-left, centre middle, and top-right, giving him three in a row in noughts and crosses - honest!!)
Then you have Andy Gray:
"As you can see here (using stupidly advanced computer graphics to show that David Beckham's mohican isn't quite straight) the lad's made a grrrreat effort, but the finish wasn't quite there when he needed it." or "Let me just run this through (queue footage running at double speed with stupid dots appearing everywhere as the players run around)....now, as you can quite clearly see, he's offside when the ball is played, (queue FA seeing Sky and quickly demoting our best referees to the Unibond Conference)
Or Andy Townsend:
"I'm here in the ITV Tactics Truck with Ugo Ehiogu (and loads of blokes sitting there pretending to do stuff...what could they possibly be doing? Tactics stuff?) - now, Ugo what did you think of the game?
- Well, uh, we, uh, lost, but I thought, uh, the boys did good.
- OK. Now, the sending off, do you think that changed the game?
- Well, uh, it meant that, uh we only had, uh, 9 men, so yeah.
- Except that of course then you had ten men, Ugo.
- Oh yeah.
- Thanks Ugo. Back to you Des
Sorry, but if any of this actually helps people watch football I'd be amazed. That's why MOTD was brilliant, there was good commentary, proper analysis, with good opinions, and no ridiculous gimmicks.
So come on, lets get some good pundits, intelligent commentators, and lose the ridiculous ProZone and all that!
OK, I got sent an e-mail yesterday called Ron Atkinson's bingo, (which I have unfortunately deleted, and so can't use in this post) which involved ridiculous statements by Ron Atkinson, which you were supposed to listen out for and score points depending on how many he used in a game.
It got me thinking about how useless TV pundits are. Almost definitely the worst is Dave Bassett, who simply repeats the commentary:
"Yeah, well, he's crossed the ball in from the left there, and well, the forward's controlled it, and well, he's put it in the goal." - Yeah, thanks Dave.
As opposed to Ron, who just makes up rubbish:
"Well, the little fellars knocked it up to the back stick, and the big lad's got eyebrows on it, put it in the blender, then he's gone for a tic-tac-toe" (Apparently this was the phrase he used when Andy Cole had a shot saved bottom-left, centre middle, and top-right, giving him three in a row in noughts and crosses - honest!!)
Then you have Andy Gray:
"As you can see here (using stupidly advanced computer graphics to show that David Beckham's mohican isn't quite straight) the lad's made a grrrreat effort, but the finish wasn't quite there when he needed it." or "Let me just run this through (queue footage running at double speed with stupid dots appearing everywhere as the players run around)....now, as you can quite clearly see, he's offside when the ball is played, (queue FA seeing Sky and quickly demoting our best referees to the Unibond Conference)
Or Andy Townsend:
"I'm here in the ITV Tactics Truck with Ugo Ehiogu (and loads of blokes sitting there pretending to do stuff...what could they possibly be doing? Tactics stuff?) - now, Ugo what did you think of the game?
- Well, uh, we, uh, lost, but I thought, uh, the boys did good.
- OK. Now, the sending off, do you think that changed the game?
- Well, uh, it meant that, uh we only had, uh, 9 men, so yeah.
- Except that of course then you had ten men, Ugo.
- Oh yeah.
- Thanks Ugo. Back to you Des
Sorry, but if any of this actually helps people watch football I'd be amazed. That's why MOTD was brilliant, there was good commentary, proper analysis, with good opinions, and no ridiculous gimmicks.
So come on, lets get some good pundits, intelligent commentators, and lose the ridiculous ProZone and all that!
It got me thinking about how useless TV pundits are. Almost definitely the worst is Dave Bassett, who simply repeats the commentary:
"Yeah, well, he's crossed the ball in from the left there, and well, the forward's controlled it, and well, he's put it in the goal." - Yeah, thanks Dave.
As opposed to Ron, who just makes up rubbish:
"Well, the little fellars knocked it up to the back stick, and the big lad's got eyebrows on it, put it in the blender, then he's gone for a tic-tac-toe" (Apparently this was the phrase he used when Andy Cole had a shot saved bottom-left, centre middle, and top-right, giving him three in a row in noughts and crosses - honest!!)
Then you have Andy Gray:
"As you can see here (using stupidly advanced computer graphics to show that David Beckham's mohican isn't quite straight) the lad's made a grrrreat effort, but the finish wasn't quite there when he needed it." or "Let me just run this through (queue footage running at double speed with stupid dots appearing everywhere as the players run around)....now, as you can quite clearly see, he's offside when the ball is played, (queue FA seeing Sky and quickly demoting our best referees to the Unibond Conference)
Or Andy Townsend:
"I'm here in the ITV Tactics Truck with Ugo Ehiogu (and loads of blokes sitting there pretending to do stuff...what could they possibly be doing? Tactics stuff?) - now, Ugo what did you think of the game?
- Well, uh, we, uh, lost, but I thought, uh, the boys did good.
- OK. Now, the sending off, do you think that changed the game?
- Well, uh, it meant that, uh we only had, uh, 9 men, so yeah.
- Except that of course then you had ten men, Ugo.
- Oh yeah.
- Thanks Ugo. Back to you Des
Sorry, but if any of this actually helps people watch football I'd be amazed. That's why MOTD was brilliant, there was good commentary, proper analysis, with good opinions, and no ridiculous gimmicks.
So come on, lets get some good pundits, intelligent commentators, and lose the ridiculous ProZone and all that!
Dammit, sorry, wasn't concentrating and put this in the wrong forum. I apologise for my incompetence!
I suppose technically it is a TV thing.
Yeah, do you reckon I can get away with? Maybe if we don't tell anyone they won't notice?