The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
It started off one sunny morning at around 7:30. I left my hideout on Shoreside Vale and went looking for a Stretch Limo. This one car would complete the shopping list at the local import/export garage, and earn me a nice fat bonus. I'd trashed my car running from the gangs the previous evening; that'll teach me to test out the Uzi on a gang car while stuck behind two trucks at the lights! So my first priority was to get me some wheels. I picked up my weapons and headed out.
I turned left and headed off down the street, Uzi in hand, just in case any of the punks from last night were still around, waiting for me. Vehicle after vehicle rolled past, but nothing suitable. I was in the mood for something fast and dangerous, like a Banshee or an Infernus. All I could see was various vans, Manana's and taxis. All too slow.
So I jogged down to the end of the street and turned right. I'd covered quite a distance by now; it was approaching 9:00 and my legs were aching, so I was glad when I reached an apartment block with a Cartel Cruiser parked outside. A quick look around to make sure there were no cops, and I was in! No problem! I wasn't happy with the Cruiser though - there's no acceleration, and they roll pretty easy. So I went scouting for something better.
Another hour of searching for better wheels, and then there it was, coming the other way... a Stretch! A swift hand-brake turn and I was rolling along in front of it. At the next junction, I slammed on the brakes, jumped out and ran back towards the limo. I yanked the door open and the driver yelled some obscenity I didn't quite hear as I dragged him from the car and threw him into the road.
As I climbed into the car and pulled away, a voice yelled "Get that guy!" Dammit! In my haste to grab the limo, I hadn't noticed the police car on the other side of the junction! Well there was no way I could out-run him in the limo, so I decided to abort. I leapt from the car and took off on foot. At the next set of lights was a taxi; still not ideal for a getaway, but better than a limo. So I commandeered that. The driver wasn't too happy at losing his car and his takings, but at least I spared his life; he was lucky I was in a rush.
The lone copper had called for reinforcements, though, and as I floored the accelerator, a police car clipped the back of the cab, putting me into a spin. As I recovered the spin and accelerated, I ran over a beat copper. Dammit, a 2-star wanted rating - I wasn't going to shake off this pursuit easily any more. I decided to head for the bridge, and Staunton Island - wider roads, less hills, and I know the area better.
I hit the bridge just as the centre section started to rise - with me on it! "This is it..." I thought. I careered off the end of the rising centre, and lost control of the cab on landing. Through sheer luck, the cab clipped a streetlight on the central reservation and slowed enough for me to regain control. The police behind me had not been so lucky. I headed down into the familiar streets of Staunton Island, the hood and wing of the taxi missing, and the engine venting steam.
Almost immediately, two more police cars were on me. Again they clipped the back of my now-ailing taxi as I cornered. I managed to control it this time, but they forced me wide, and onto the sidewalk. Several dead pedestrians later, and I had a 3-star wanted rating. This was getting serious - the helicopters were after me, and the police were becoming ever more reckless.
It was about 4:10 in the afternoon now - I'd been running for hours, and it would be getting dark soon. I needed a faster car to try and lose them in the dark. I screeched sideways around another corner, but misjudged it and hit a Rumpo van coming the other way. The taxi had had enough now, and the engine ignited... time to bail.
The collision had put me into a wall, so I climbed out through the hole where the passenger door used to be. The cops were yelling at me... "Get down!" and "You're risking you life!" etc. They opened fire, but their pistols were no match for my Uzi. Four-star wanted rating - one for each dead cop - quite poetic, really! Of course that left two unmanned police cars... well, it'd be rude not to! I hopped in, switched on the sirens and took off towards the multi-storey car park with the rumble of the flying pigs ringing in my ears.
The police car took quite a hammering on the way there, but those things are tough. I crashed through the barrier at the entrance to the car park, and straight into the back of a parked taxi. Another engine fire, and time to leg it again. As I ran up the ramp to first floor, the police car exploded. The taxi followed seconds later. It was only when I reached the roof of the building that I realised it was now dark. I'd been leading the police a merry dance for almost ten hours.
Suddenly I was blinded by a bright light as the police helicopter swept over the roof of the car park. Several death-threats were made over the chopper's PA system, so it was time to break out the rocket launcher. Man, those things leave a lovely orange trail. Wouldn't want to be on the receiving end, though.
Unfortunately the pilot was. The rocket hit near the rear of the 'copter; the tail broke off and it went into a spin, before crashing into a nearby skyscraper, exploding, and crashing into the street below.
So I had some breathing space. Time for some target practice. I started with the sniper rifle decided to work from the bottom up. The first few were leg shots; it's funny watching the little people below hop around spurting blood when you take out their kneecaps! Then I moved on to head shots. But it was too easy, and I soon got bored; so I started with the M16 - so much kick that aiming is more of a challenge.
After some throwing practice with a few grenades, I could hear another chopper approaching. Out came the rocket launcher and down it went. Instant 5-star wanted rating. More and more choppers were sent - I actually brought one down on the roof of the car park - now THAT was a scary moment!
Five choppers later, I had a 6-star wanted rating, no more rockets, and the National Guard had been called in - tanks and all. Time to make a move.
With plans to get to the Pay & Spray as quick as possible to shake them off, I jimmied open a nearby Cheetah and headed for the far end of the roof. Spinning around, I floored the accelerator and headed for the ramp in the corner of the roof. Seconds later, I was flying through the air several stories up, with the police and National Guard below. It was one of those moments that seems to last forever, with everything happening in slow-motion.
Fortunately I had hit the ramp just right for a smooth flight and landing, and as the Cheetah crashed onto the road, the pack once again gave chase - but this road was taking me away from the Pay & Spray, which is behind the multi-storey. With military trucks blocking the roads and others in pursuit, getting back to the Pay & Spray was never going to be easy. I darted down a side-street only to see a tank coming the other way. Brave as I am, there was no way I was taking that on in a sports car! I wrenched the wheel to the left and yanked on the handbrake for all I was worth - a perfect 180-degree spin and I was off, back the way I came.
Finally, a breakthrough! Trucks were blocking the road, but there was plenty of open space on the sidewalk. Or so it seemed. I squeezed between a tree and a wall, losing both doors in the process. Then I was at the park. The road ahead blocked, I turned into the park - a bad idea, due to the uneven ground. The car rolled several times, but, steaming and battered, it landed on its wheels. As it turned out, that was the last bit of luck I would have.
At least I knew a direct route to the Pay & Spray from here, so off I went. It was a clear run - no roadblocks at all, and I was almost there. Looking back, I should have taken it easy for a few seconds. If I had, it would have been the perfect crime. But I didn't.
With one more corner left, and feeling extremely smug and cocky, I pulled a handbrake turn...
...and drifted right into the path of an oncoming tank. The car exploded instantly, and I was wasted.
Proof, if any were needed, that crime does not pay.
But it can be such fun! :-)
I would like to thank the staff at Staunton Island's General Hospital for their amazing reconstructive surgery, as it is only due to their care and expertise that I am able to report this story to you today.
The time as I left the hospital? Just after 6:00 in the morning. What a day that was.
I turned left and headed off down the street, Uzi in hand, just in case any of the punks from last night were still around, waiting for me. Vehicle after vehicle rolled past, but nothing suitable. I was in the mood for something fast and dangerous, like a Banshee or an Infernus. All I could see was various vans, Manana's and taxis. All too slow.
So I jogged down to the end of the street and turned right. I'd covered quite a distance by now; it was approaching 9:00 and my legs were aching, so I was glad when I reached an apartment block with a Cartel Cruiser parked outside. A quick look around to make sure there were no cops, and I was in! No problem! I wasn't happy with the Cruiser though - there's no acceleration, and they roll pretty easy. So I went scouting for something better.
Another hour of searching for better wheels, and then there it was, coming the other way... a Stretch! A swift hand-brake turn and I was rolling along in front of it. At the next junction, I slammed on the brakes, jumped out and ran back towards the limo. I yanked the door open and the driver yelled some obscenity I didn't quite hear as I dragged him from the car and threw him into the road.
As I climbed into the car and pulled away, a voice yelled "Get that guy!" Dammit! In my haste to grab the limo, I hadn't noticed the police car on the other side of the junction! Well there was no way I could out-run him in the limo, so I decided to abort. I leapt from the car and took off on foot. At the next set of lights was a taxi; still not ideal for a getaway, but better than a limo. So I commandeered that. The driver wasn't too happy at losing his car and his takings, but at least I spared his life; he was lucky I was in a rush.
The lone copper had called for reinforcements, though, and as I floored the accelerator, a police car clipped the back of the cab, putting me into a spin. As I recovered the spin and accelerated, I ran over a beat copper. Dammit, a 2-star wanted rating - I wasn't going to shake off this pursuit easily any more. I decided to head for the bridge, and Staunton Island - wider roads, less hills, and I know the area better.
I hit the bridge just as the centre section started to rise - with me on it! "This is it..." I thought. I careered off the end of the rising centre, and lost control of the cab on landing. Through sheer luck, the cab clipped a streetlight on the central reservation and slowed enough for me to regain control. The police behind me had not been so lucky. I headed down into the familiar streets of Staunton Island, the hood and wing of the taxi missing, and the engine venting steam.
Almost immediately, two more police cars were on me. Again they clipped the back of my now-ailing taxi as I cornered. I managed to control it this time, but they forced me wide, and onto the sidewalk. Several dead pedestrians later, and I had a 3-star wanted rating. This was getting serious - the helicopters were after me, and the police were becoming ever more reckless.
It was about 4:10 in the afternoon now - I'd been running for hours, and it would be getting dark soon. I needed a faster car to try and lose them in the dark. I screeched sideways around another corner, but misjudged it and hit a Rumpo van coming the other way. The taxi had had enough now, and the engine ignited... time to bail.
The collision had put me into a wall, so I climbed out through the hole where the passenger door used to be. The cops were yelling at me... "Get down!" and "You're risking you life!" etc. They opened fire, but their pistols were no match for my Uzi. Four-star wanted rating - one for each dead cop - quite poetic, really! Of course that left two unmanned police cars... well, it'd be rude not to! I hopped in, switched on the sirens and took off towards the multi-storey car park with the rumble of the flying pigs ringing in my ears.
The police car took quite a hammering on the way there, but those things are tough. I crashed through the barrier at the entrance to the car park, and straight into the back of a parked taxi. Another engine fire, and time to leg it again. As I ran up the ramp to first floor, the police car exploded. The taxi followed seconds later. It was only when I reached the roof of the building that I realised it was now dark. I'd been leading the police a merry dance for almost ten hours.
Suddenly I was blinded by a bright light as the police helicopter swept over the roof of the car park. Several death-threats were made over the chopper's PA system, so it was time to break out the rocket launcher. Man, those things leave a lovely orange trail. Wouldn't want to be on the receiving end, though.
Unfortunately the pilot was. The rocket hit near the rear of the 'copter; the tail broke off and it went into a spin, before crashing into a nearby skyscraper, exploding, and crashing into the street below.
So I had some breathing space. Time for some target practice. I started with the sniper rifle decided to work from the bottom up. The first few were leg shots; it's funny watching the little people below hop around spurting blood when you take out their kneecaps! Then I moved on to head shots. But it was too easy, and I soon got bored; so I started with the M16 - so much kick that aiming is more of a challenge.
After some throwing practice with a few grenades, I could hear another chopper approaching. Out came the rocket launcher and down it went. Instant 5-star wanted rating. More and more choppers were sent - I actually brought one down on the roof of the car park - now THAT was a scary moment!
Five choppers later, I had a 6-star wanted rating, no more rockets, and the National Guard had been called in - tanks and all. Time to make a move.
With plans to get to the Pay & Spray as quick as possible to shake them off, I jimmied open a nearby Cheetah and headed for the far end of the roof. Spinning around, I floored the accelerator and headed for the ramp in the corner of the roof. Seconds later, I was flying through the air several stories up, with the police and National Guard below. It was one of those moments that seems to last forever, with everything happening in slow-motion.
Fortunately I had hit the ramp just right for a smooth flight and landing, and as the Cheetah crashed onto the road, the pack once again gave chase - but this road was taking me away from the Pay & Spray, which is behind the multi-storey. With military trucks blocking the roads and others in pursuit, getting back to the Pay & Spray was never going to be easy. I darted down a side-street only to see a tank coming the other way. Brave as I am, there was no way I was taking that on in a sports car! I wrenched the wheel to the left and yanked on the handbrake for all I was worth - a perfect 180-degree spin and I was off, back the way I came.
Finally, a breakthrough! Trucks were blocking the road, but there was plenty of open space on the sidewalk. Or so it seemed. I squeezed between a tree and a wall, losing both doors in the process. Then I was at the park. The road ahead blocked, I turned into the park - a bad idea, due to the uneven ground. The car rolled several times, but, steaming and battered, it landed on its wheels. As it turned out, that was the last bit of luck I would have.
At least I knew a direct route to the Pay & Spray from here, so off I went. It was a clear run - no roadblocks at all, and I was almost there. Looking back, I should have taken it easy for a few seconds. If I had, it would have been the perfect crime. But I didn't.
With one more corner left, and feeling extremely smug and cocky, I pulled a handbrake turn...
...and drifted right into the path of an oncoming tank. The car exploded instantly, and I was wasted.
Proof, if any were needed, that crime does not pay.
But it can be such fun! :-)
I would like to thank the staff at Staunton Island's General Hospital for their amazing reconstructive surgery, as it is only due to their care and expertise that I am able to report this story to you today.
The time as I left the hospital? Just after 6:00 in the morning. What a day that was.
Page:
It started off one sunny morning at around 7:30. I left my hideout on Shoreside Vale and went looking for a Stretch Limo. This one car would complete the shopping list at the local import/export garage, and earn me a nice fat bonus. I'd trashed my car running from the gangs the previous evening; that'll teach me to test out the Uzi on a gang car while stuck behind two trucks at the lights! So my first priority was to get me some wheels. I picked up my weapons and headed out.
I turned left and headed off down the street, Uzi in hand, just in case any of the punks from last night were still around, waiting for me. Vehicle after vehicle rolled past, but nothing suitable. I was in the mood for something fast and dangerous, like a Banshee or an Infernus. All I could see was various vans, Manana's and taxis. All too slow.
So I jogged down to the end of the street and turned right. I'd covered quite a distance by now; it was approaching 9:00 and my legs were aching, so I was glad when I reached an apartment block with a Cartel Cruiser parked outside. A quick look around to make sure there were no cops, and I was in! No problem! I wasn't happy with the Cruiser though - there's no acceleration, and they roll pretty easy. So I went scouting for something better.
Another hour of searching for better wheels, and then there it was, coming the other way... a Stretch! A swift hand-brake turn and I was rolling along in front of it. At the next junction, I slammed on the brakes, jumped out and ran back towards the limo. I yanked the door open and the driver yelled some obscenity I didn't quite hear as I dragged him from the car and threw him into the road.
As I climbed into the car and pulled away, a voice yelled "Get that guy!" Dammit! In my haste to grab the limo, I hadn't noticed the police car on the other side of the junction! Well there was no way I could out-run him in the limo, so I decided to abort. I leapt from the car and took off on foot. At the next set of lights was a taxi; still not ideal for a getaway, but better than a limo. So I commandeered that. The driver wasn't too happy at losing his car and his takings, but at least I spared his life; he was lucky I was in a rush.
The lone copper had called for reinforcements, though, and as I floored the accelerator, a police car clipped the back of the cab, putting me into a spin. As I recovered the spin and accelerated, I ran over a beat copper. Dammit, a 2-star wanted rating - I wasn't going to shake off this pursuit easily any more. I decided to head for the bridge, and Staunton Island - wider roads, less hills, and I know the area better.
I hit the bridge just as the centre section started to rise - with me on it! "This is it..." I thought. I careered off the end of the rising centre, and lost control of the cab on landing. Through sheer luck, the cab clipped a streetlight on the central reservation and slowed enough for me to regain control. The police behind me had not been so lucky. I headed down into the familiar streets of Staunton Island, the hood and wing of the taxi missing, and the engine venting steam.
Almost immediately, two more police cars were on me. Again they clipped the back of my now-ailing taxi as I cornered. I managed to control it this time, but they forced me wide, and onto the sidewalk. Several dead pedestrians later, and I had a 3-star wanted rating. This was getting serious - the helicopters were after me, and the police were becoming ever more reckless.
It was about 4:10 in the afternoon now - I'd been running for hours, and it would be getting dark soon. I needed a faster car to try and lose them in the dark. I screeched sideways around another corner, but misjudged it and hit a Rumpo van coming the other way. The taxi had had enough now, and the engine ignited... time to bail.
The collision had put me into a wall, so I climbed out through the hole where the passenger door used to be. The cops were yelling at me... "Get down!" and "You're risking you life!" etc. They opened fire, but their pistols were no match for my Uzi. Four-star wanted rating - one for each dead cop - quite poetic, really! Of course that left two unmanned police cars... well, it'd be rude not to! I hopped in, switched on the sirens and took off towards the multi-storey car park with the rumble of the flying pigs ringing in my ears.
The police car took quite a hammering on the way there, but those things are tough. I crashed through the barrier at the entrance to the car park, and straight into the back of a parked taxi. Another engine fire, and time to leg it again. As I ran up the ramp to first floor, the police car exploded. The taxi followed seconds later. It was only when I reached the roof of the building that I realised it was now dark. I'd been leading the police a merry dance for almost ten hours.
Suddenly I was blinded by a bright light as the police helicopter swept over the roof of the car park. Several death-threats were made over the chopper's PA system, so it was time to break out the rocket launcher. Man, those things leave a lovely orange trail. Wouldn't want to be on the receiving end, though.
Unfortunately the pilot was. The rocket hit near the rear of the 'copter; the tail broke off and it went into a spin, before crashing into a nearby skyscraper, exploding, and crashing into the street below.
So I had some breathing space. Time for some target practice. I started with the sniper rifle decided to work from the bottom up. The first few were leg shots; it's funny watching the little people below hop around spurting blood when you take out their kneecaps! Then I moved on to head shots. But it was too easy, and I soon got bored; so I started with the M16 - so much kick that aiming is more of a challenge.
After some throwing practice with a few grenades, I could hear another chopper approaching. Out came the rocket launcher and down it went. Instant 5-star wanted rating. More and more choppers were sent - I actually brought one down on the roof of the car park - now THAT was a scary moment!
Five choppers later, I had a 6-star wanted rating, no more rockets, and the National Guard had been called in - tanks and all. Time to make a move.
With plans to get to the Pay & Spray as quick as possible to shake them off, I jimmied open a nearby Cheetah and headed for the far end of the roof. Spinning around, I floored the accelerator and headed for the ramp in the corner of the roof. Seconds later, I was flying through the air several stories up, with the police and National Guard below. It was one of those moments that seems to last forever, with everything happening in slow-motion.
Fortunately I had hit the ramp just right for a smooth flight and landing, and as the Cheetah crashed onto the road, the pack once again gave chase - but this road was taking me away from the Pay & Spray, which is behind the multi-storey. With military trucks blocking the roads and others in pursuit, getting back to the Pay & Spray was never going to be easy. I darted down a side-street only to see a tank coming the other way. Brave as I am, there was no way I was taking that on in a sports car! I wrenched the wheel to the left and yanked on the handbrake for all I was worth - a perfect 180-degree spin and I was off, back the way I came.
Finally, a breakthrough! Trucks were blocking the road, but there was plenty of open space on the sidewalk. Or so it seemed. I squeezed between a tree and a wall, losing both doors in the process. Then I was at the park. The road ahead blocked, I turned into the park - a bad idea, due to the uneven ground. The car rolled several times, but, steaming and battered, it landed on its wheels. As it turned out, that was the last bit of luck I would have.
At least I knew a direct route to the Pay & Spray from here, so off I went. It was a clear run - no roadblocks at all, and I was almost there. Looking back, I should have taken it easy for a few seconds. If I had, it would have been the perfect crime. But I didn't.
With one more corner left, and feeling extremely smug and cocky, I pulled a handbrake turn...
...and drifted right into the path of an oncoming tank. The car exploded instantly, and I was wasted.
Proof, if any were needed, that crime does not pay.
But it can be such fun! :-)
I would like to thank the staff at Staunton Island's General Hospital for their amazing reconstructive surgery, as it is only due to their care and expertise that I am able to report this story to you today.
The time as I left the hospital? Just after 6:00 in the morning. What a day that was.
I turned left and headed off down the street, Uzi in hand, just in case any of the punks from last night were still around, waiting for me. Vehicle after vehicle rolled past, but nothing suitable. I was in the mood for something fast and dangerous, like a Banshee or an Infernus. All I could see was various vans, Manana's and taxis. All too slow.
So I jogged down to the end of the street and turned right. I'd covered quite a distance by now; it was approaching 9:00 and my legs were aching, so I was glad when I reached an apartment block with a Cartel Cruiser parked outside. A quick look around to make sure there were no cops, and I was in! No problem! I wasn't happy with the Cruiser though - there's no acceleration, and they roll pretty easy. So I went scouting for something better.
Another hour of searching for better wheels, and then there it was, coming the other way... a Stretch! A swift hand-brake turn and I was rolling along in front of it. At the next junction, I slammed on the brakes, jumped out and ran back towards the limo. I yanked the door open and the driver yelled some obscenity I didn't quite hear as I dragged him from the car and threw him into the road.
As I climbed into the car and pulled away, a voice yelled "Get that guy!" Dammit! In my haste to grab the limo, I hadn't noticed the police car on the other side of the junction! Well there was no way I could out-run him in the limo, so I decided to abort. I leapt from the car and took off on foot. At the next set of lights was a taxi; still not ideal for a getaway, but better than a limo. So I commandeered that. The driver wasn't too happy at losing his car and his takings, but at least I spared his life; he was lucky I was in a rush.
The lone copper had called for reinforcements, though, and as I floored the accelerator, a police car clipped the back of the cab, putting me into a spin. As I recovered the spin and accelerated, I ran over a beat copper. Dammit, a 2-star wanted rating - I wasn't going to shake off this pursuit easily any more. I decided to head for the bridge, and Staunton Island - wider roads, less hills, and I know the area better.
I hit the bridge just as the centre section started to rise - with me on it! "This is it..." I thought. I careered off the end of the rising centre, and lost control of the cab on landing. Through sheer luck, the cab clipped a streetlight on the central reservation and slowed enough for me to regain control. The police behind me had not been so lucky. I headed down into the familiar streets of Staunton Island, the hood and wing of the taxi missing, and the engine venting steam.
Almost immediately, two more police cars were on me. Again they clipped the back of my now-ailing taxi as I cornered. I managed to control it this time, but they forced me wide, and onto the sidewalk. Several dead pedestrians later, and I had a 3-star wanted rating. This was getting serious - the helicopters were after me, and the police were becoming ever more reckless.
It was about 4:10 in the afternoon now - I'd been running for hours, and it would be getting dark soon. I needed a faster car to try and lose them in the dark. I screeched sideways around another corner, but misjudged it and hit a Rumpo van coming the other way. The taxi had had enough now, and the engine ignited... time to bail.
The collision had put me into a wall, so I climbed out through the hole where the passenger door used to be. The cops were yelling at me... "Get down!" and "You're risking you life!" etc. They opened fire, but their pistols were no match for my Uzi. Four-star wanted rating - one for each dead cop - quite poetic, really! Of course that left two unmanned police cars... well, it'd be rude not to! I hopped in, switched on the sirens and took off towards the multi-storey car park with the rumble of the flying pigs ringing in my ears.
The police car took quite a hammering on the way there, but those things are tough. I crashed through the barrier at the entrance to the car park, and straight into the back of a parked taxi. Another engine fire, and time to leg it again. As I ran up the ramp to first floor, the police car exploded. The taxi followed seconds later. It was only when I reached the roof of the building that I realised it was now dark. I'd been leading the police a merry dance for almost ten hours.
Suddenly I was blinded by a bright light as the police helicopter swept over the roof of the car park. Several death-threats were made over the chopper's PA system, so it was time to break out the rocket launcher. Man, those things leave a lovely orange trail. Wouldn't want to be on the receiving end, though.
Unfortunately the pilot was. The rocket hit near the rear of the 'copter; the tail broke off and it went into a spin, before crashing into a nearby skyscraper, exploding, and crashing into the street below.
So I had some breathing space. Time for some target practice. I started with the sniper rifle decided to work from the bottom up. The first few were leg shots; it's funny watching the little people below hop around spurting blood when you take out their kneecaps! Then I moved on to head shots. But it was too easy, and I soon got bored; so I started with the M16 - so much kick that aiming is more of a challenge.
After some throwing practice with a few grenades, I could hear another chopper approaching. Out came the rocket launcher and down it went. Instant 5-star wanted rating. More and more choppers were sent - I actually brought one down on the roof of the car park - now THAT was a scary moment!
Five choppers later, I had a 6-star wanted rating, no more rockets, and the National Guard had been called in - tanks and all. Time to make a move.
With plans to get to the Pay & Spray as quick as possible to shake them off, I jimmied open a nearby Cheetah and headed for the far end of the roof. Spinning around, I floored the accelerator and headed for the ramp in the corner of the roof. Seconds later, I was flying through the air several stories up, with the police and National Guard below. It was one of those moments that seems to last forever, with everything happening in slow-motion.
Fortunately I had hit the ramp just right for a smooth flight and landing, and as the Cheetah crashed onto the road, the pack once again gave chase - but this road was taking me away from the Pay & Spray, which is behind the multi-storey. With military trucks blocking the roads and others in pursuit, getting back to the Pay & Spray was never going to be easy. I darted down a side-street only to see a tank coming the other way. Brave as I am, there was no way I was taking that on in a sports car! I wrenched the wheel to the left and yanked on the handbrake for all I was worth - a perfect 180-degree spin and I was off, back the way I came.
Finally, a breakthrough! Trucks were blocking the road, but there was plenty of open space on the sidewalk. Or so it seemed. I squeezed between a tree and a wall, losing both doors in the process. Then I was at the park. The road ahead blocked, I turned into the park - a bad idea, due to the uneven ground. The car rolled several times, but, steaming and battered, it landed on its wheels. As it turned out, that was the last bit of luck I would have.
At least I knew a direct route to the Pay & Spray from here, so off I went. It was a clear run - no roadblocks at all, and I was almost there. Looking back, I should have taken it easy for a few seconds. If I had, it would have been the perfect crime. But I didn't.
With one more corner left, and feeling extremely smug and cocky, I pulled a handbrake turn...
...and drifted right into the path of an oncoming tank. The car exploded instantly, and I was wasted.
Proof, if any were needed, that crime does not pay.
But it can be such fun! :-)
I would like to thank the staff at Staunton Island's General Hospital for their amazing reconstructive surgery, as it is only due to their care and expertise that I am able to report this story to you today.
The time as I left the hospital? Just after 6:00 in the morning. What a day that was.
Nice!
I need to find that rocket launcher...
I finally managed the mission that had been troubling me - the Kill Salvatore mission. I managed with some tips from Tarrant and Goaty.
Got to keep going now 'til I get that rocket launcher...
I need to find that rocket launcher...
I finally managed the mission that had been troubling me - the Kill Salvatore mission. I managed with some tips from Tarrant and Goaty.
Got to keep going now 'til I get that rocket launcher...
Wow, that sounds a bit like my day.
But more involved.
Mine was basically:
Left my hideout and ran onto the street.
Yanked the driver of a cab out, he was yelling at me about it being "his cab" or something, he just wouldn't be quiet.
So I ran him over.
Picked up a few passengers, earned some money but this was boring, I could get a job as a taxi driver anywhere.
I wanted fun.
Reaching the park, I lept out and stole a nearby Mafia Interceptor. Boy those guys hold a grudge forever, damn dirty Mafiosa monkeys.
Getting bored of trundling about in a saloon car, I bailed in the red-light district and was immediately set-upon by Damn Dirty Diablos.
So I shot 3 of them.
And a cop showed up.
So I shot him as well.
Then his mates turned up shouting at me, so I stole a banshee and lit out.
Sprayed it up nice and the police left me alone.
Decided to get some Chinese.
Bad move.
Triads yelling at me and shooting as I drove past.
So I got out and set them all on fire.
More police
*sigh*
So I burned them real good.
FBI show up.
Time to escape, get in a bus.
Slow bus, rubbish bus.
So I get out and burn it.
And got arrested.
Damn.
Get released from prison, hit the Ammo-nation stores on both islands and come back, loaded for bear.
Managed to get 12 cops before I got busted.
Damn dirty cops.
But more involved.
Mine was basically:
Left my hideout and ran onto the street.
Yanked the driver of a cab out, he was yelling at me about it being "his cab" or something, he just wouldn't be quiet.
So I ran him over.
Picked up a few passengers, earned some money but this was boring, I could get a job as a taxi driver anywhere.
I wanted fun.
Reaching the park, I lept out and stole a nearby Mafia Interceptor. Boy those guys hold a grudge forever, damn dirty Mafiosa monkeys.
Getting bored of trundling about in a saloon car, I bailed in the red-light district and was immediately set-upon by Damn Dirty Diablos.
So I shot 3 of them.
And a cop showed up.
So I shot him as well.
Then his mates turned up shouting at me, so I stole a banshee and lit out.
Sprayed it up nice and the police left me alone.
Decided to get some Chinese.
Bad move.
Triads yelling at me and shooting as I drove past.
So I got out and set them all on fire.
More police
*sigh*
So I burned them real good.
FBI show up.
Time to escape, get in a bus.
Slow bus, rubbish bus.
So I get out and burn it.
And got arrested.
Damn.
Get released from prison, hit the Ammo-nation stores on both islands and come back, loaded for bear.
Managed to get 12 cops before I got busted.
Damn dirty cops.
That was a great story Wookiee! Damn, I want this game so much!
Great post! But just to let you know, I didn't read that - it's too long!
Beautiful Freak wrote:
> Great post! But just to let you know, I didn't read that - it's too long!
How do you know it's good if you didn't read it?
> Great post! But just to let you know, I didn't read that - it's too long!
How do you know it's good if you didn't read it?
Hey, that was great Wookie! :D
Although I didn't read it ... :D
No, I did - it was good, it will win...
SHOCKY
Although I didn't read it ... :D
No, I did - it was good, it will win...
SHOCKY
Superb Post wookiee. Now I want a PS2 even more badly now :o( THANKS A LOT!
:o)
Great post though.
:o)
Great post though.
Nicely done there Wookie. Lets all get down on our knees and look up to the weird and wonderful Wookie Monster.
And I see you've already choosen Metal Gear Solid 2, not expecting to ever win again in the next 96 days?
And I see you've already choosen Metal Gear Solid 2, not expecting to ever win again in the next 96 days?
Mr Nice Guy wrote:
> And I see you've already choosen Metal
> Gear Solid 2, not expecting to ever win again in the next 96 days?
Crikey, have they updated the list already? I only mailed them a couple of hours ago!
Well, I am not a regular winner compared to some people, so I thought I'd make sure! :-) I'm finding it increasingly difficult to write anything GAD-worthy these days. I've never deliberately tried, but most of the wins have been for replies to other people's discussions, and usually involve defending the PS2.
Believe it or not, that wasn't entered with a GAD in mind - and none of it was made up, apart from the 'real life' point of view. Those events actually occurred in a session of GTA3; I was telling some mates about it, and they seemed quite entertained. As I had sweet FA to do at work, I typed it up and posted it. It was only after I read it back that it crossed my mind that it may be a winner.
Oh, and can I just say thanks to the SR guys for accepting my e-mail claim, even though it wasn't from my registered e-mail address. (I did provide ample proof, though!)
> And I see you've already choosen Metal
> Gear Solid 2, not expecting to ever win again in the next 96 days?
Crikey, have they updated the list already? I only mailed them a couple of hours ago!
Well, I am not a regular winner compared to some people, so I thought I'd make sure! :-) I'm finding it increasingly difficult to write anything GAD-worthy these days. I've never deliberately tried, but most of the wins have been for replies to other people's discussions, and usually involve defending the PS2.
Believe it or not, that wasn't entered with a GAD in mind - and none of it was made up, apart from the 'real life' point of view. Those events actually occurred in a session of GTA3; I was telling some mates about it, and they seemed quite entertained. As I had sweet FA to do at work, I typed it up and posted it. It was only after I read it back that it crossed my mind that it may be a winner.
Oh, and can I just say thanks to the SR guys for accepting my e-mail claim, even though it wasn't from my registered e-mail address. (I did provide ample proof, though!)
Page: