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Here are a few things that I have learned from my many years of film experience:
If its dark, and its raining, something bad is bound to happen.
If you are in a film which includes dinosaurs, evil murderers, or monsters of any kind, DONT get out of the car.
NEVER go back to investigate something suspicious, it always leads to trouble.
DONT EVER solve puzzles, as these generally open trapdoors to evil, or portholes to hell etc.
If you investigate a suspicious noise, only to discover it was the cat, DONT be lured into a false sense of security. No doubt theres an axe murderer behind the door.
NEVER trust a policeman. (unless he is the main character)
Whilst running away from a monster or something, expect to trip or fall at least twice before reaching safety.
The bad guy never wins.
If the telephone lines are down, no matter how many times you try to dial 911, or put the reciever down, it WONT WORK!
Dont buy things from strange men in dark alleys.
If you are a well endowed female, expect to die first. (particularly if you take off your clothes)
Sidekicks are only ever there to make the hero look better. (or come convieniently to the rescue)
DONT trust people with russian, or eastern European accents.
If a man has a fight scene with a woman, She'll ALWAYS win after kicking him where it hurts.
If you break down, you'll find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and your phone battery will be dead.
When you finally find a house, NEVER go inside for a drink. (even if it is a seemingly nice old woman)
The bad guy will never be caught first time.
Expect to have a friend who betrays you.
Listen carefully to the background music, if you hear screeming violins, lock yourself in the bathroom.
If the lights dont work, RUN!
Rustling in the bushes is usually just a squirrel, so chill.
(unless its the climax of the movie)
If you hear a noise downstairs, NEVER go down to investigate. believe it or not, that baseball bat you convieniently keep under your pillow isn't gonna save you.
Even if you're ugly, expect to get the girl.
Having police protection, or a guard outside your room NEVER does you any good.
Be aware of black cars with blacked out windows, if its not the FBI, its the bad guys.
If you look in the rear view mirror, you're always being tailed.
If you check for bugs there won't be any, if you dont there almost certainly will be.
If somewhere is deserted, it's for a reason. TAKE THE HINT!
well, thats about it!
If you have any more, post them here.
If its dark, and its raining, something bad is bound to happen.
If you are in a film which includes dinosaurs, evil murderers, or monsters of any kind, DONT get out of the car.
NEVER go back to investigate something suspicious, it always leads to trouble.
DONT EVER solve puzzles, as these generally open trapdoors to evil, or portholes to hell etc.
If you investigate a suspicious noise, only to discover it was the cat, DONT be lured into a false sense of security. No doubt theres an axe murderer behind the door.
NEVER trust a policeman. (unless he is the main character)
Whilst running away from a monster or something, expect to trip or fall at least twice before reaching safety.
The bad guy never wins.
If the telephone lines are down, no matter how many times you try to dial 911, or put the reciever down, it WONT WORK!
Dont buy things from strange men in dark alleys.
If you are a well endowed female, expect to die first. (particularly if you take off your clothes)
Sidekicks are only ever there to make the hero look better. (or come convieniently to the rescue)
DONT trust people with russian, or eastern European accents.
If a man has a fight scene with a woman, She'll ALWAYS win after kicking him where it hurts.
If you break down, you'll find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and your phone battery will be dead.
When you finally find a house, NEVER go inside for a drink. (even if it is a seemingly nice old woman)
The bad guy will never be caught first time.
Expect to have a friend who betrays you.
Listen carefully to the background music, if you hear screeming violins, lock yourself in the bathroom.
If the lights dont work, RUN!
Rustling in the bushes is usually just a squirrel, so chill.
(unless its the climax of the movie)
If you hear a noise downstairs, NEVER go down to investigate. believe it or not, that baseball bat you convieniently keep under your pillow isn't gonna save you.
Even if you're ugly, expect to get the girl.
Having police protection, or a guard outside your room NEVER does you any good.
Be aware of black cars with blacked out windows, if its not the FBI, its the bad guys.
If you look in the rear view mirror, you're always being tailed.
If you check for bugs there won't be any, if you dont there almost certainly will be.
If somewhere is deserted, it's for a reason. TAKE THE HINT!
well, thats about it!
If you have any more, post them here.
Starlight wrote:
> I have know loads of these, learnt them in A Level, I could go on about Disney
> for ages
:-)
Is that something to be proud of?
> I have know loads of these, learnt them in A Level, I could go on about Disney
> for ages
:-)
Is that something to be proud of?
I have know loads of these, learnt them in A Level, I could go on about Disney for ages
:-)
:-)
well its late and this has been done before
Here are a few things that I have learned from my many years of film experience:
If its dark, and its raining, something bad is bound to happen.
If you are in a film which includes dinosaurs, evil murderers, or monsters of any kind, DONT get out of the car.
NEVER go back to investigate something suspicious, it always leads to trouble.
DONT EVER solve puzzles, as these generally open trapdoors to evil, or portholes to hell etc.
If you investigate a suspicious noise, only to discover it was the cat, DONT be lured into a false sense of security. No doubt theres an axe murderer behind the door.
NEVER trust a policeman. (unless he is the main character)
Whilst running away from a monster or something, expect to trip or fall at least twice before reaching safety.
The bad guy never wins.
If the telephone lines are down, no matter how many times you try to dial 911, or put the reciever down, it WONT WORK!
Dont buy things from strange men in dark alleys.
If you are a well endowed female, expect to die first. (particularly if you take off your clothes)
Sidekicks are only ever there to make the hero look better. (or come convieniently to the rescue)
DONT trust people with russian, or eastern European accents.
If a man has a fight scene with a woman, She'll ALWAYS win after kicking him where it hurts.
If you break down, you'll find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and your phone battery will be dead.
When you finally find a house, NEVER go inside for a drink. (even if it is a seemingly nice old woman)
The bad guy will never be caught first time.
Expect to have a friend who betrays you.
Listen carefully to the background music, if you hear screeming violins, lock yourself in the bathroom.
If the lights dont work, RUN!
Rustling in the bushes is usually just a squirrel, so chill.
(unless its the climax of the movie)
If you hear a noise downstairs, NEVER go down to investigate. believe it or not, that baseball bat you convieniently keep under your pillow isn't gonna save you.
Even if you're ugly, expect to get the girl.
Having police protection, or a guard outside your room NEVER does you any good.
Be aware of black cars with blacked out windows, if its not the FBI, its the bad guys.
If you look in the rear view mirror, you're always being tailed.
If you check for bugs there won't be any, if you dont there almost certainly will be.
If somewhere is deserted, it's for a reason. TAKE THE HINT!
well, thats about it!
If you have any more, post them here.
If its dark, and its raining, something bad is bound to happen.
If you are in a film which includes dinosaurs, evil murderers, or monsters of any kind, DONT get out of the car.
NEVER go back to investigate something suspicious, it always leads to trouble.
DONT EVER solve puzzles, as these generally open trapdoors to evil, or portholes to hell etc.
If you investigate a suspicious noise, only to discover it was the cat, DONT be lured into a false sense of security. No doubt theres an axe murderer behind the door.
NEVER trust a policeman. (unless he is the main character)
Whilst running away from a monster or something, expect to trip or fall at least twice before reaching safety.
The bad guy never wins.
If the telephone lines are down, no matter how many times you try to dial 911, or put the reciever down, it WONT WORK!
Dont buy things from strange men in dark alleys.
If you are a well endowed female, expect to die first. (particularly if you take off your clothes)
Sidekicks are only ever there to make the hero look better. (or come convieniently to the rescue)
DONT trust people with russian, or eastern European accents.
If a man has a fight scene with a woman, She'll ALWAYS win after kicking him where it hurts.
If you break down, you'll find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and your phone battery will be dead.
When you finally find a house, NEVER go inside for a drink. (even if it is a seemingly nice old woman)
The bad guy will never be caught first time.
Expect to have a friend who betrays you.
Listen carefully to the background music, if you hear screeming violins, lock yourself in the bathroom.
If the lights dont work, RUN!
Rustling in the bushes is usually just a squirrel, so chill.
(unless its the climax of the movie)
If you hear a noise downstairs, NEVER go down to investigate. believe it or not, that baseball bat you convieniently keep under your pillow isn't gonna save you.
Even if you're ugly, expect to get the girl.
Having police protection, or a guard outside your room NEVER does you any good.
Be aware of black cars with blacked out windows, if its not the FBI, its the bad guys.
If you look in the rear view mirror, you're always being tailed.
If you check for bugs there won't be any, if you dont there almost certainly will be.
If somewhere is deserted, it's for a reason. TAKE THE HINT!
well, thats about it!
If you have any more, post them here.